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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz


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Anybody have "Gaetz suggests sodomy to Sen. Cruz on Insurrection Anniversary" on their 2022 bingo card?  I had something with Gaetz and sodomy, but nothing about Cruz.  Shit, I don't think I've used my dauber once this year yet.

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59 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

Seriously, this motherfucker is the polar opposite of everything that Texans claim to be, yet you'll keep voting for this cunt.  

You wouldn't want to live next door to this prick, but you'll continue to vote for him. 

(R)aphael 

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22 minutes ago, The Dark Knight said:

I’m just surprised he didn’t try to blame it on his wife and daughters this time.

Hey, they don't call him "Cancun Cuckold" Cruz for nuthin'...

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2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

WHAT A FUCKING PUSSY

 

 

Going to have to agree slightly with Tucker - Ted was very deliberate about the words he used on the floor of the Senate.  This wasn't some off-hand twitter comment or him tossing out something to some blogger in an airport.

Still want to know what made Ted use those words - either he's scared shitless of something, or his data people are telling him that this is the route to go.

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12 hours ago, 'stache said:

If anything, this tells me that there might be some actual repercussions coming for lawmakers who participated in sowing the insurrection, he being one of the key players. No other reason he would go against the maga base he's been courting for the last 6 years. There is zero chance he would say that without a self-interested motive, and it's not going to help his election campaigns, so it has to be something else, like actual expulsion from the senate or even jail time.

I fucking laughed.

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11 minutes ago, AnTiM said:

Now Cruz has an explanation:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ted-cruz-says-he-didnt-mean-to-call-jan-6-a-terrorist-attack/vi-AASxh80

The man is an absolutely useless piece of shit.

Dear lord. This man is as pathetic as one can get in politics, which is truly saying something.

 

You can hear his voice cracking at the end as he sees Tucker Carlson kicking his already miniscule chances of being president into bolivia.

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And Cruz taking a jab at "The Corporate Media" while on Fox fucking News just shattered my irony sensor.

My god, how do Fox viewers not realize that everyone on Fox thinks you're fucking stupid?  I mean, they're right about that, but they're so in-your-face about it and y'all keep not getting it.

Edited by TexArcher
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Did Ted not think Tucker was gonna ask him about his comments on the Senate Floor that were all over the news the whole day?  

I know y'all think Ted's the dumbest guy on the planet.  But he's not.  I don't know what his long-game is with those comments on the floor, but there's no way Ted went into that interview thinking "No way Tucker's gonna ask me about last night, he just wants me here because I'm so likable on TV."  Zero chance.  I guess he prepared that fumbling, bumbling, "Uh, it was a dumb mistake to say terrorists....uh, duh..." was the only thing he thought of, which is odd because he had time to think about it all day.  Not like he was busy legislating.  

His floor speech was meant for moderates and corporate donors who detached themselves from much of the fringe of his party after 1/6.  His Tucker appearance was meant for MAGA nation.  But the problem is the 'other side' (be it a further right primary opponent or Trump himself -or- a Democrat opponent in an general) can easily pull up the other comment when he brags about the other comment.  

"See, I stood up to this dangerous element and called them terrorists.  I'm not beholden to Trump!"

-or-

"See, I denounced what I said.  It was a dumb mistake.  The actions of a handful of people should not shine poorly on you patriots!"  

/endloborant

Here's the takeaway for y'all:

John Drogin, the digital architect for Cruz's upset of Dewhurst in 2012 and early good start to the 2016 Presidential primaries.  He invented a great deal of this targeted social media messaging to people who had been politically "idle" that is now commonplace in every campaign today.  He is going back to advise/consult Cruz part-time.  Which is odd because Ted's not up for re-election until 2024, almost three years from now.  Much like the Russian Navy, John doesn't take a dump without a long-term plan.  

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8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

"See, I stood up to this dangerous element and called them terrorists.  I'm not beholden to Trump!"

-or-

"See, I denounced what I said.  It was a dumb mistake.  The actions of a handful of people should not shine poorly on you patriots!"  

This goes as evidence towards my thesis statement: there is no one who can capture the magic-in-a-bottle that is Trumpism other than Trump.

See, the above is a textbook Trump move: say two completely opposite things (e.g., "OU sucks!" and "Fuck Texas!")  Then, from WHICHEVER direction you are getting criticism, you hold up the appropriate statement and say "nope, I'm not a Sooner fan -- see, I clearly said 'OU sucks.'"  Then 60 seconds later, he can defend himself from attacks by Sooners by saying "I was clear -- 'Fuck Texas.'"  AND IT WORKS.  IT IS INSANE, BUT FOR TRUMP, IT WORKS.

But it doesn't work for other people.  Ted Cruz can't run that play because -- in case I didn't make this clear before -- it's COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE.  The only person who can pull off a "whatever the cult leader says is true" play is the cult leader.  Everyone else is just pale imitators.

Cruz can't be Trump 2.0.  Neither can DeSantis, or MTG, or any of the other loathsome toadies out there running the "see, I'm practically Trump myself!" play.  Because they aren't Trump.

When Trump dies, Trumpism will begin to whither.  But not a day before then.  Until then, it only gets stronger.  The GQP is Trump's party now, wholly and completely.  And it will remain so until he breathes his last.

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Good point about the cult leader.  Tucker does a side-by-side of Ted's two sets of comments and Ted folds like Helen Keller at a No Limit Hold 'Em tournament.

Somebody does that to Trump and he just says, "Ahhhh, fake news.  My voters know what I meant..." and just goes off on some other tangent. 

Ted is also really not helped by the fact that on the Senate Floor.....he's not going off the cuff and "making dumb mistakes"...he's clearly reading from prepared notes.

Anyway, as soon as I can get back out to a bar...I'm gonna find out what Drogin is up to going back to work with Cruz.  

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13 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

This goes as evidence towards my thesis statement: there is no one who can capture the magic-in-a-bottle that is Trumpism other than Trump.

See, the above is a textbook Trump move: say two completely opposite things (e.g., "OU sucks!" and "Fuck Texas!")  Then, from WHICHEVER direction you are getting criticism, you hold up the appropriate statement and say "nope, I'm not a Sooner fan -- see, I clearly said 'OU sucks.'"  Then 60 seconds later, he can defend himself from attacks by Sooners by saying "I was clear -- 'Fuck Texas.'"  AND IT WORKS.  IT IS INSANE, BUT FOR TRUMP, IT WORKS.

But it doesn't work for other people.  Ted Cruz can't run that play because -- in case I didn't make this clear before -- it's COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE.  The only person who can pull off a "whatever the cult leader says is true" play is the cult leader.  Everyone else is just pale imitators.

Cruz can't be Trump 2.0.  Neither can DeSantis, or MTG, or any of the other loathsome toadies out there running the "see, I'm practically Trump myself!" play.  Because they aren't Trump.

When Trump dies, Trumpism will begin to whither.  But not a day before then.  Until then, it only gets stronger.  The GQP is Trump's party now, wholly and completely.  And it will remain so until he breathes his last.

I think the cult leader is replaceable, but not easily. Cruz sure as shit isn't it. DeSantis either. Tucker maybe, though he'd have to dial up the absurdity a bit. But the, for lack of a better term, energy of the fascist movement wants a leader like Trump. We've seen them die out before when their leaders died, but then many of the fascists had also already been killed by war.

The leader doesn't make fascists, he unifies them and directs them. He tells them their hatreds are ok and normal to feel. But those hatreds don't come from the leader, they come from social forces.  If Trump dropped dead of a heart attack tomorrow, those animating forces won't just magically disappear. Fascists would look for a new leader to unify and direct them. There may be a good chance that Trump is irreplaceable by anyone in current American life, but the chances aren't 0.

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13 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Seriously, this motherfucker is the polar opposite of everything that Texans claim to be, yet you'll keep voting for this cunt.  

You wouldn't want to live next door to this prick, but you'll continue to vote for him. 

If Cruz had been at the Alamo during its siege, he would have been in the basement, sucking his thumb, crying for his mommy.

Bitchass mother fucker right there.

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6 minutes ago, wildcat09 said:

I think the cult leader is replaceable, but not easily. Cruz sure as shit isn't it. DeSantis either. Tucker maybe, though he'd have to dial up the absurdity a bit. But the, for lack of a better term, energy of the fascist movement wants a leader like Trump. We've seen them die out before when their leaders died, but then many of the fascists had also already been killed by war.

The leader doesn't make fascists, he unifies them and directs them. He tells them their hatreds are ok and normal to feel. But those hatreds don't come from the leader, they come from social forces.  If Trump dropped dead of a heart attack tomorrow, those animating forces won't just magically disappear. Fascists would look for a new leader to unify and direct them. There may be a good chance that Trump is irreplaceable by anyone in current American life, but the chances aren't 0.

Can't disagree with this.  The ingredients are there, and will remain there.  I just think we saw an amazing circumstance in a gifted huckster, burdened by insane narcissism so his hucksterism has no limits, and he had pre-exposure via decades of vacuous pseudo-celebrity obsessed culture in his corner.  Lightning-in-a-bottle, with timing that utterly fucked us.  I don't see anyone out there who can do what he has done.

There are plenty of others who can get the wackadoo base riled up, angry, feed them what they want, etc.  But nobody who can INSPIRE them, who can convince them to functionally drink the kool-aid/light themselves on fire the way that Trump does.  Maybe there's someone out there....but the very fact that he's not obvious and apparent at this point means that he doesn't yet have the visibility or following, and building that up takes time.  It took Trump 40 years to build that.

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1 hour ago, AnTiM said:

Now Cruz has an explanation:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ted-cruz-says-he-didnt-mean-to-call-jan-6-a-terrorist-attack/vi-AASxh80

The man is an absolutely useless piece of shit.

We're talking about a guy who has carried water for Trump for 5 years, AFTER Trump said his dad killed JFK and literally called his wife an ugly hag. He has zero spine.

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10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Can't disagree with this.  The ingredients are there, and will remain there.  I just think we saw an amazing circumstance in a gifted huckster, burdened by insane narcissism so his hucksterism has no limits, and he had pre-exposure via decades of vacuous pseudo-celebrity obsessed culture in his corner.  Lightning-in-a-bottle, with timing that utterly fucked us.  I don't see anyone out there who can do what he has done.

There are plenty of others who can get the wackadoo base riled up, angry, feed them what they want, etc.  But nobody who can INSPIRE them, who can convince them to functionally drink the kool-aid/light themselves on fire the way that Trump does.  Maybe there's someone out there....but the very fact that he's not obvious and apparent at this point means that he doesn't yet have the visibility or following, and building that up takes time.  It took Trump 40 years to build that.

I don't think any of the Trump kids have the special sauce that he has, but I could definitely see them being able to coast on the family name for several years after he kicks the bucket.

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Due to prejudice, this *fellow won't have a chance, but he's got quite the appeal for a certain mindset:

How Well Do You Know Your Moon • Hyung Jin Moon and ...

 

Seated on the left. That is *Sean Moon (son of the late Sun Moon), leader of the Sanctuary Church-an offshoot of the Unification Church. They integrate firearms into their services and ceremonies. He is an opponent of what he calls 'political Satanism.'

 

Oh, and forgot the Surly m.o.---X,X,X,x(inanimate object) X,X

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57 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

 

Are you calling Ted Cruz a liar? The man that said he only went to Mexico to escort his daughters? Do you think he lied about that too? 

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So which is it?

Ted Cruz is a brilliant politician? 

Or Ted Cruz is a spineless idiot?

Or is he such a 4d chess player that he's both? 

Regardless of either,  or,  or both,  he has and will always be a pussy

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He's not brilliant, but a very smart and skilled politician AND a spineless idiot.  You can easily be both.  Political savviness and moral backbone and almost entirely unrelated.  

Dan Patrick, Newt Gingrich, and Matt Gaetz are all prime examples of this duality.  There are many Democrats that are like that as well.  

The political world is nuanced even if MAGA nation is not.

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No, the political environment in which he operates is nuanced.  He's not.  There are all stripes in D.C. I mean. He's a smart politician and spineless, so there's plenty of space available for him in the nuanced Senate.  It's like the jail cells in "Fistful of Yen."  

"This area is for Senators who are smart but have no spine.  And this area is for Senators who are dumb and have no spine.  And these Senators here are smart and have spine."   Cruz would try to sneak into area #3.  

Guard, put this Senator in area #1 and get him a drink!  

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He is the personification of the current GQP.  The moment one of them says anything remotely reflecting their personal beliefs that run counter to the MAGA doctrine, the scramble into damage control with a "sorry, sorry, sorry, mea culpa, what I meant to say was..." bullshittery.  Absolutely no personal conviction at all.

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3 hours ago, SKJ said:

So which is it?

Ted Cruz is a brilliant politician? 

Or Ted Cruz is a spineless idiot?

Or is he such a 4d chess player that he's both? 

Regardless of either,  or,  or both,  he has and will always be a pussy

He's clearly a brilliant politician.

 

So, help me out... I don't politics very well. I do my occasional drive-by and wonder why anybody gives a shit, etc...  but I do find it amazing that this dude gets re-elected.  Who is voting for this dude?  He doesn't seem like the type anybody would follow or would want to be represented by.  What have I missed?  All I ever see is him getting his ass kicked in public, yet he just rolls along picking up more Texas love and making his run at President.  I'd say there is no fucking way he could get enough votes to actually be President, but again...  He's clearly a brilliant politician, because he seems like he wouldn't be able to get 10 people to follow him to a bar with hot chicks and cheap drinks.

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I would think that incumbents, especially in deep red districts,  and are unopposed by Republicans,  have a great shot at being reelected.  But I'm not in Texas and don't know if he runs unopposed in primaries, so I could easily be wrong. 

But that would be my guess as to how he has a job

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He defeated David Dewhurst, who was just kind of a milquetoast pre-Tea Party-style Republican, in the 2012 Senate primary. Dewhurst figured he had it in the bag because he was a (relatively) known name and it was "his turn". But Cruz smartly identified the growing "I'm fucking pissed at literally everything" undercurrent in the GOP and rode that to the upset. Then he didn't attract any serious challengers in the Republican primary in 2018.

There's really not much else to say after that, because all you really have to do to win a statewide election in Texas is have an (R) after your name on the ballot. His 2012 general opponent is someone who I've never even heard of and don't remember. He beat Beto by 3ish points in 2018, which is a pretty shitty margin for a Republican in Texas in a non-Presidential election year.

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32 minutes ago, Snacks said:

He's clearly a brilliant politician.

 

So, help me out... I don't politics very well. I do my occasional drive-by and wonder why anybody gives a shit, etc...  but I do find it amazing that this dude gets re-elected.  Who is voting for this dude?  He doesn't seem like the type anybody would follow or would want to be represented by.  What have I missed?  All I ever see is him getting his ass kicked in public, yet he just rolls along picking up more Texas love and making his run at President.  I'd say there is no fucking way he could get enough votes to actually be President, but again...  He's clearly a brilliant politician, because he seems like he wouldn't be able to get 10 people to follow him to a bar with hot chicks and cheap drinks.

The Republican party are masters at messaging against an opponent.  I didn't see one pro-Ted Cruz Facebook post leading up to 2018, but I saw a fuckton of anti-Beto ones.  Nobody likes Ted, but at least he isn't gun-grabbing/baby-killing/curse-word-saying Beto.  DID YOU KNOW HE WORE A DRESS ONCE!?!?!

Or, in simpler terms, he has the name recognition to survive a primary and the (R) next to his name to win a general election.

He'll never be President, though.

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