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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz


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I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

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12 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

Didn't he "win" some extremely dubious "most likely to" honor at Harvard?

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I think the most shitty thing about him is that he doesn't have to be such a smarmy asshole.  I'm not a fan of Cornyn, and he did/said some shit during Covid that made me want to kick him in the nuts, but he doesn't out of his way to be an asshole.  He's an asshole, but just by nature.  He's not trying.  

Cruz knows he doesn't have to do anything to get re-elected.  He just has to be alive and continue to have the "R" after his name and he's guaranteed re-election for at least 2024, and likely 2030.  Most, not all, but most GOP Senators from red states just kinda go about their business.  Yeah, they bash the democrats to raise money and just sit on the sidelines to derail the legislation that McConnell tells them to derail.  But Cruz wakes up each day, scrambles his media team, and just plots how to be a fucking jagoff.  It's completely self-directed.  Nobody needs him to be out there saying shit.  His own party, his own chief-of-staff, his big donors, nobody ever says, "Ted, get out there and make that resting Cruz face and say some asshole, condescending shit."  He, of his total own volition, rises and sleeps just waiting to suck.  

Every active Republican I know in other states chimes in frequently with the "what the fuck with Ted, man?"  I can't name the majority of Republicans in the Senate.  But every single fucking active GOP'er in other states knows Ted Cruz and doesn't get why the guy can't just shut the fuck up and operate in the shadows like most of their guys do.  The only explanation is that he knows he's being a dick and likes the pushback.  It would certainly explain why he's totally cool with Heidi getting railed on the reg by other dudes.  

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I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.
Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:
image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

Ted Cruz and Mackenzie Kelly are poster children for ranked choice voting to avoid time-consuming and expensive run-off elections. Cruz defeated Dewhurst where tea party hoopleheads tipped the scales in Cruz’ favor because he was their reptilian candidate and a better choice over milktoast establishment conservatives. The establishment conservatives had the audacity of bailing out banks to avoid a global depression and chaos.

Cruz and the GQP feed on chaos, use it as a ladder, and always have an escape hatch, gated community, flights to other countries, and/or security force to bail them when shit gets real.
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6 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:


Ted Cruz and Mackenzie Kelly are poster children for ranked choice voting to avoid time-consuming and expensive run-off elections. Cruz defeated Dewhurst where tea party hoopleheads tipped the scales in Cruz’ favor because he was their reptilian candidate and a better choice over milktoast establishment conservatives. The establishment conservatives had the audacity of bailing out banks to avoid a global depression and chaos.

Cruz and the GQP feed on chaos, use it as a ladder, and always have an escape hatch, gated community, flights to other countries, and/or security force to bail them when shit gets real.

Many of the worst politicians follow the same initial path like Cruz: lose the primary but just keep the winner shy of 50%. Then somehow win the run-off when much fewer voters turnout. Primary run-offs is only about gotv and that can require a small but enthusiastic group.

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1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

I don't understand how guys like him get elected in the first place.  He's so utterly unlikeable.  He had to have been a major outcast in high school.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton, W, or Obama, but they had personalities.  Cruz is just a festering pustule of a human being.  Frankly, I'm shocked his wife said "yes".  She's not THAT repulsive, nothing like him.  He looks like he's gonna eat her liver with a side of fava beans in this photo:

image.jpeg.4e6df03fd1316239f3452a226e5aa081.jpeg

about as likeable as John Murray in Moving Violations

Moving Violations (1985) - IMDb

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Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........

"Resting Ted Face"

-or-

"Resting Cruz Face"

give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  

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39 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........

"Resting Ted Face"

-or-

"Resting Cruz Face"

give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  

Resting Raphael Face

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3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

We workshopped that, but it's too many syllables out loud.  to match "resting bitch face"...you gotta go with one, short syllable.  Both Ted and Cruz work for it, just a question of which one has a more poetic flow....

Off topic but can I interest you in a resting Mitch face slogan?

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Yeah but Mitch looks like what an old southern asshole should look like.  Little long in the jowls for a fella his size but he’s about right.  
 

Cruz looks an alien was coming here and was going through the facial selection process and picked ‘portly asshole human’ and they just shoved it over him.  

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Serious question because we're workshopping something.  What's a better descriptor?.........
"Resting Ted Face"
-or-
"Resting Cruz Face"
give some thought to how it looks in print, how it sounds in your head when you read it, how it sounds out loud, and how it would look on merch.  
Already been done. And resolved.

Come on, Ted!

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