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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz


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16 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I guess there's one way to out yourself as a Historic Heights snob. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houston_Heights

Next you're going to tell me that EDGE isn't the same thing as a defensive end, or that soylent green isn't people. 

actually i live in magnolia grove, which everyone calls rice military (which itself was formerly smokytown, so i understand why they'd change it), to my annoyance.

i really just like maps

The 10 best quotes of 2007 - Boston.com

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15 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

If I ever run into Ted Cruz in public, EVERYONE will know.  

And you'll get to know his secret service, intimately. He was a few spots down from us at the UT v. Bama game. Homeboy had a fair amount of representation. Maybe that was just because it was a big event. 

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12 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

And you'll get to know his secret service, intimately. He was a few spots down from us at the UT v. Bama game. Homeboy had a fair amount of representation. Maybe that was just because it was a big event. 

He doesn't have Secret Service protection. Senators and Members of Congress don't receive protection. He's such a shithead that he has to hire private protection using campaign funds. You can always tell when Ted is home because there's a black Navigator backed into his driveway with some dude behind the wheel watching porn on his phone.

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12 minutes ago, royiv said:

He doesn't have Secret Service protection. Senators and Members of Congress don't receive protection. He's such a shithead that he has to hire private protection using campaign funds. You can always tell when Ted is home because there's a black Navigator backed into his driveway with some dude behind the wheel watching porn on his phone. scrolling through Ted's twitter for porn.

fify

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1 hour ago, royiv said:

He doesn't have Secret Service protection. Senators and Members of Congress don't receive protection. He's such a shithead that he has to hire private protection using campaign funds. You can always tell when Ted is home because there's a black Navigator backed into his driveway with some dude behind the wheel watching porn on his phone.

Private security, then. Dudes with those ear pieces tend to stand out, though. 

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2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

And you'll get to know his secret service, intimately. He was a few spots down from us at the UT v. Bama game. Homeboy had a fair amount of representation. Maybe that was just because it was a big event. 

Secret Service or private secuity, either that mofo is going here from me.  No physical altercation, no threat.  Just good old fashioned shit talking.

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19 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

As somebody who has multiple family members with various levels of mental heath issues, this is Reason #1 why I will never have a firearm in the house. 
 

I hope his daughter is okay, and finds a path to thriving.

is your first name Norman? I'm watching you

13 hours ago, Roger Kint said:

Yes I have been paying attention.  You can’t state this is directly on Ted Cruz. You nor I have any idea what happens in their house.  Yes he is a piece of shit as a public person anyone who follows politics should realize that. Kids have experiences. We don’t know if shitty Ted is direct result.  

what? you can't blame the teenage daughter's super-fucking-high-profile dad who constantly shits on the lgtbq+ community, denigrates just about every other demographic, and spends little to no time with his family? the parents are the first fucking people to look at when a child hurts themselves. I'm sure her getting told constantly what a piece of shit her dad is doesn't help, but of course that still goes back to the source. I'm 100% looking at Ted Cruz on this one.

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13 hours ago, Roger Kint said:

Yes I have been paying attention.  You can’t state this is directly on Ted Cruz. You nor I have any idea what happens in their house.  Yes he is a piece of shit as a public person anyone who follows politics should realize that. Kids have experiences. We don’t know if shitty Ted is direct result.  

Are you under the impression that Ted is a completely different person at home?

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https://www.yahoo.com/news/ted-cruz-daughter-addresses-speculation-173900925.html

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"I wanted to address this on my own because the media is … causing my mental health to be exploited for their gain,” said Caroline Cruz. “I also don’t enjoy the assumptions on why I did what I did.”

Thank god that didn't happen on here.

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“No, it had nothing to do with my sexuality or my father. I’m not suicidal but I am experiencing some mental issues,” she said, noting she’s “working through it and getting the help I need. Thank you so much for all the support and love, it means a lot to me. But the most traumatizing part of this experience is how public it’s been.”

 

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Walk into any low rent strip bar and you will find many who will tell you that having a father who degrades your innate qualities and continually humiliates you is the prerequisite to happiness.  Of course it will be the patrons reporting this to you, but nonetheless....

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3 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Ted talked her into this.    Because, reasons.

Ted better give up thoughts of higher office or AG or SCOTUS and stop campaigning around the US because that ship has sailed, and instead spend a lot more time at home, and start praying about how he’s going to beat Herschel.

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46 minutes ago, yoladu said:

This is like a transcript of how a 14-year old with an abusive public figure for a father would respond. I truly hope she can stay out of the spotlight, but her father is a piece of shit and this is very relevant to his position as an outspoken U.S. Senator who regularly attacks others. She should realize that the reports are about him, and not her, but you know dear 'ol dad is telling her that it's the "librul media" attacking her, and she's 14, so doesn't quite understand how truly terrible her father is and has been to others in similar positions.

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Secret Service or private secuity, either that mofo is going here from me.  No physical altercation, no threat.  Just good old fashioned shit talking.
We should workshop a list of things every Surlyite can prepare and then yell at him if one of us sees him in public. I may not get the chance, but if one of you assholes said a line from Surly I'd turn into Rudy's dad.

My submission: "Your wife's fucking half of Houston while you're in DC. She only wants you relected so she can get to the other half."2e6edce242ef99f8266ba236c57524c5.jpg
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5 hours ago, yoladu said:

She is the same age my daughter is right now.  The fact that she's still on social media after all this tells me her parents aren't doing shit for her mental health.  You have to shut down the social media, as all it does is amplify the source of anxiety.

I am a parent and am 100% certified to judge other parents...

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20 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I hate this GIF because it reminds me that piece of shit was actually President of the United States of America. Holy fuck.

I remember watching his "american carnage" inaugural address in a break room with some coworkers - that was a bleak day. 

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1 hour ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

has this air of wanting to belong. He tries very hard. He was and is smart, and he checked all the boxes--being trotted around as a hs Constitutional scholar and patted on the head by adults, went Ivy League and all that, but... however much his father told him that 'God destined him for greatness', however much he has strolled the halls of the impressive marble and wood, he cannot quite shake that aura of not having that 'it' factor. His unlikability is well known but  it seems to have made him revert to the know-it-all sarcastic I'm rubber you're glue type of immature attitude that is rather off-putting and reeks of bitterness and fifth grade.

Just look at the name change - for somebody who loves his dad, he didn't want to share the name "Raphael" with him, even though it was his birth name.  Reeks of wanting to fit into a certain crowd.   It's honestly surprising he didn't take his mother's surname at some point.  "Ted Wilson".

1 hour ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

But that facade--I mean, look at the outings: the trip to the border (see me in my Orviswear and BP vest as I scan the Rio Grande for ebuhdoers), stumping for Kelly Loeffler in Georgia (playing the populist in starched jeans and plaid shirt that had Dan Patrick drooling over the suede leather jacket combo) and finally: appearing at every Texas sporting event garbed in whatever jersey is team appropriate. *It's what one does when trying hard to be 'one of us' no matter who the 'us' is.

And that is the barb that I speculate would hit the hardest: being not even a T-shirt fan who is, at least, loyal to whichever team they claim, but a cosplay dress-up poser who is as shallow as they come. Still on the outside, looking in, among the crowd but never asked to join the after party. The senator who shoots hoops but has no game.

Excited Season 1 GIF by The Office

He will never fit in, and it's completely his fault, and he knows it.  He tried too fucking hard to be all things to all people.

He should be fucking proud to have gone to Harvard and Princeton, given how hard they can be to get in and then to succeed at those schools, but he wants the worship of the "common man", and the common man is not wearing Harvard or Princeton gear and may even look down upon those universities with disdain.  Meanwhile, Cruz has colleagues in Congress who went to state schools and who are ride or die with those schools, even if it pisses off some of their voter base, and he sees that they are popular with their constituents for having "been one of them", and he wants that so badly.

So he shows up at major college sports events that concern Texas schools, and he's got to wear their gear, because he desperately wants some kind of validation, to be "one of them".

Which is really fucking ironic, because he would have had no problem getting full rides to most schools in Texas, and then he'd have that fandom/adulation that he so desperately craves.

He wants people cheering him on like they do when they see Matthew McConaughey at a UT game, or Garth Brooks when he shows up for an Okie State game, or Toby Keith at an OU game, but nope, he's fucking stuck up in the stands, people ignoring him outside of those who came with him.

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Just look at the name change - for somebody who loves his dad, he didn't want to share the name "Raphael" withhim, even though it was his birth name.  Reeks of wanting to fit into a certain crowd.   It's honestly surprising he didn'ttake his mother's surname at some point.  "Ted Wilson".

You just know that asshole considered “Tom Cruz,” at least for a moment.

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3 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

I see your point, and with many spouses that arrow might find its mark, but with Ted I'm not so sure.

From my own perspective, Ted being the child of an immigrant and (as far as I can tell) raised somewhat as a singleton (not sure how much his half-siblings were around) has this air of wanting to belong. He tries very hard. He was and is smart, and he checked all the boxes--being trotted around as a hs Constitutional scholar and patted on the head by adults, went Ivy League and all that, but... however much his father told him that 'God destined him for greatness', however much he has strolled the halls of the impressive marble and wood, he cannot quite shake that aura of not having that 'it' factor. His unlikability is well known but  it seems to have made him revert to the know-it-all sarcastic I'm rubber you're glue type of immature attitude that is rather off-putting and reeks of bitterness and fifth grade. But that facade--I mean, look at the outings: the trip to the border (see me in my Orviswear and BP vest as I scan the Rio Grande for ebuhdoers), stumping for Kelly Loeffler in Georgia (playing the populist in starched jeans and plaid shirt that had Dan Patrick drooling over the suede leather jacket combo) and finally: appearing at every Texas sporting event garbed in whatever jersey is team appropriate. *It's what one does when trying hard to be 'one of us' no matter who the 'us' is.

And that is the barb that I speculate would hit the hardest: being not even a T-shirt fan who is, at least, loyal to whichever team they claim, but a cosplay dress-up poser who is as shallow as they come. Still on the outside, looking in, among the crowd but never asked to join the after party. The senator who shoots hoops but has no game.

 

 

*this isn't meant to throw shade at first gen immigrants nor is it an apology for Cruz, more of a personal observation to perhaps what makes him tick. Or it could be completely shit. Other people come from various similar situations and are not sanctimonious reprobates.

 

good post. Can you boil all that down to an arrow I can sling at him while I'm facedown in the airport with a 250 pound security guard on my back?

 

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Which is really fucking ironic, because he would have had no problem getting full rides to most schools in Texas, and then he'd have that fandom/adulation that he so desperately craves.

You sure. Have you ever heard Abbott being introduced at a Longhorn game? 

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1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

good post. Can you boil all that down to an arrow I can sling at him while I'm facedown in the airport with a 250 pound security guard on my back?

 

Shouldn't be a need for security. Just walk up and tell him how it's great that he's the President of the Bobby Petrino Pen Pal Club and by the time he parses out what that means you'll be long gone.

Alternatively and if you'd like to have a more visceral response, there is always the incredulous reaction that you thought his tongue would be longer given that he's licked so many boots with nothing to show for it.

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Shouldn't be a need for security. Just walk up and tell him how it's great that he's the President of the Bobby Petrino Pen Pal Club and by the time he parses out what that means you'll be long gone.
Alternatively and if you'd like to have a more visceral response, there is always the incredulous reaction that you thought his tongue would be longer given that he's licked so many boots with nothing to show for it.
"I thought your lips would be longer considering how far they've been up Trump's ass."

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This isn’t the Royal family. They live in the River Oaks area. His daughters go to St. John’s. I have a good friend whose daughter is friends with the younger sister. I’m sure there are people on this board who have seen them in social situations many times or even personally know the Cruzs. 
 

My cousin’s kids attend school - and Astros games with them. I haven’t heard the backstory yet but I’m sure my mom is working in shifts to get the juicy gossip. The last message I sent my cousin was “hey my daughter is the media buyer for “Mothers against Greg Abbot, y’all are invited to contribute.”
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