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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz


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Republicans don’t think Nixon did anything wrong and now that only a few olds even remember what happened and there’s a sympathetic Supreme Court, Ted Cruz is going to undo all the post-watergate reforms 

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7 hours ago, elfenix said:

Republicans don’t think Nixon did anything wrong and now that only a few olds even remember what happened and there’s a sympathetic Supreme Court, Ted Cruz is going to undo all the post-watergate reforms 

Republicans these days would call Nixon a libtard for some of his views.

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this week in a New York courtroom, the publisher of the National Enquirer swore under oath that he coordinated with Donald Trump on producing headlines and articles such as:

image.png.50eee683ede3aa27cc7016c6ebea9a22.png 

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basically torpedoing his Presidential ambitions in 2016.. yet he continues to lick the boots of Donald Trump. He is doesn't have the spine to be President. Ever.

Edited by yoladu
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1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger piece of shit he decided to sponsor legislation undermining the new rules requiring airlines to issue automatic refunds if your flight is cancelled or significantly delayed.  

wouldn't Biden just veto that if it reached his desk?

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39 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger piece of shit he decided to sponsor legislation undermining the new rules requiring airlines to issue automatic refunds if your flight is cancelled or significantly delayed.  

Delta, SW and AA are all in the top 15 for Ted's campaign and PAC contributions. 

More surprising was that a Dem from WA State co-sponsored it on the Senate side and a Dem from WA State co-sponsored the House side (with a GOP rep from Missouri). 

 

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17 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Delta, SW and AA are all in the top 15 for Ted's campaign and PAC contributions. 

More surprising was that a Dem from WA State co-sponsored it on the Senate side and a Dem from WA State co-sponsored the House side (with a GOP rep from Missouri). 

 

Fuck those airlines, then.  I guess the WA rep sponsorship must have something to do with Boeing

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Lashing out because you didnt' your way on that bill to allow Senators to go through separate entrances at commercial airports because you're still butt-hurt about being photographed with the common people sneaking off to Cancun during the Big Freeze?  And now you're taking it out on your constituency because of your snowflake feelings.  This is why your family hates you, you take our lack of self-confidence on the most vulnerable people in your lives and worst part is, you seem to enjoy it or at least get fulfillment out of it.  

I know we make jokes about your face, and your smarminess, Heidi's fellatio habits, and all that.  And you're an intelligent guy.  But deep down inside...you're just mean Ted.  And not the "I'm better than the average folks I represent!" kinda mean, Ted.  You enjoy it, it fills some void in your soul that can never be filled no matter how much cruelty you visit upon family and fellow citizens alike.  I don't know what happened to you in the mid-2010's........but something did.  And you should seek some counseling, sir.  After you out and suck Trump's dick publicly.  Get that outta the way, and then talk to somebody, Ted.  Your daughters deserve better.  

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4 hours ago, Blotto said:

aggy gonna aggy

image.png.d2d650d0c7425b2ce9cd52f9dfb155b9.png

 

This fucking guy.  I just looked at his official FEC biography and he has the Texas A&M University School of Law, graduating in 2002.  That school did not exist.  It was Texas Wesleyan and A&M bought it in 2013.  On his OFFICIAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT RESUME.  

Also, that resume has him as a Corps member.  So, a genuine weirdo.

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10 hours ago, Stringer said:

 

This fucking guy.  I just looked at his official FEC biography and he has the Texas A&M University School of Law, graduating in 2002.  That school did not exist.  It was Texas Wesleyan and A&M bought it in 2013.  On his OFFICIAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT RESUME.  

Also, that resume has him as a Corps member.  So, a genuine weirdo.

image.gif.26d93b0756ba9666d87350b2d6604af9.gif

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25 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Whatever you call that law school, I'm sort of surprised that Ted would associate with a lawyer who has such an underwhelming academic resume.

Ted is a Man of the People.

13 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

Wut?

He is fully embracing the podcast lifestyle.

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Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

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Even if you for some strange reason like Ted Cruz, why the fuck would you want a picture of the Derby winner with his autograph?  

That's like having Patrick Stewart signing a Yankees poster.  

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"Hey, Senator Cruz?  I noticed you didn't pick a horse in your own contest.  What a weird turn of events, huh?  Well, thanks for having us to your BBQ.  Although my hamburger tastes weird."   

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Reminded me of a great story Walton Goggins told on Seth Meyers a few weeks back when he was on promoting Fallout. Apparently, Goggins' dad is quite the character. This is what he basically wears every single day -- with TONS of turquoise.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSnd-MJkL-mdRzn9bJooXD

So he gets noticed a lot. He carries around signed autograph pictures of himself that he gives out to people when they ask him who he is. In addition, he also has pictures of his son Walton, the true famous guy, and offers those as well. (The kicker is that Walton Jr's pics are signed by Walton Sr. I'll see if I can find the portion of the interview because it was the funniest, most endearing late-night talk show interview segment I've seen in many years.)

Found it -- hoping this starts about 6:32 where he says Baby Billy's character/look is partly inspired by his dad. If clip doesn't start there, scrub to 6:32.

 

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9 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

 

 

 

 

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@Biff Tannen  You of all people gotta see the brilliance of GenXer's work here for Ted and the Derby.  I'm firing it off to his two top guys tomorrow.  They both have a good sense of humor, but this is magnificent.  

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10 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

Damnit - GenXer beat me to it.

 

 

 

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You guys are brilliant.  I love how seemlessly the hairline fits in with Ted's and the dude in the middle just happens to be salivating at the most inappropriate time.  

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1 hour ago, GenXer said:

 

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

@Biff Tannen  You of all people gotta see the brilliance of GenXer's work here for Ted and the Derby.  I'm firing it off to his two top guys tomorrow.  They both have a good sense of humor, but this is magnificent.  

There’s also a Kristi Noem joke in here 

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1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

 

There’s also a Kristi Noem joke in here 

I agree.  But I just can’t figure it out.  So they race fox terriers like greyhounds ?

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But the fox terrier is faster than a goat.  Or do you just have the goat In the infield during the race, eating grasses.  And then when the fox terriers are done chasing the chicken, you do the awards podium deal in the infield/gravel pit and shoot all the animals and toss ‘em in.  And then give Cruz some kinda commemorative Diet Coke cup while Heidi gets double teamed by two colts in the stables in an equine threesome called the “hot brown sandwich”?

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