Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

[atomheartbevo 89807]

https://www.houstonchronicle.com/politics/texas/article/ted-cruz-iheart-podcast-taxes-19416633.php

[atomheartbevo 89807]

20 hours ago, Macanudo said:

That's a trick question.  We all know Ted Cruz doesn't have any self-respect.   Or a soul.

[elfenix 34332]

Republicans don’t think Nixon did anything wrong and now that only a few olds even remember what happened and there’s a sympathetic Supreme Court, Ted Cruz is going to undo all the post-watergate reforms 

[DigglerontheHoof 21250]

I'm sure many brows will be thoroughly furrowed. 

[Dnaguy 12080]

39 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I'm sure many brows will be thoroughly furrowed. 

Susan Collins is very concerned….

[tx 3 putt 77439]

 

[atomheartbevo 89807]

7 hours ago, elfenix said:

Republicans don’t think Nixon did anything wrong and now that only a few olds even remember what happened and there’s a sympathetic Supreme Court, Ted Cruz is going to undo all the post-watergate reforms 

Republicans these days would call Nixon a libtard for some of his views.

[StassneyHorn 6638]

Nixon is on a one man island of socially conservative and fiscally liberal 

[Born to Run 6569]

Cool man, this asshole ate my child in a few reptilian bites, but also acts likes it's all cool while he gets reelected. Soon enough you'll know # tedcruzatemykids

[yoladu 4094]

this week in a New York courtroom, the publisher of the National Enquirer swore under oath that he coordinated with Donald Trump on producing headlines and articles such as:

 

basically torpedoing his Presidential ambitions in 2016.. yet he continues to lick the boots of Donald Trump. He is doesn't have the spine to be President. Ever.

Edited April 25 by yoladu

[Pancho 45004]

 

[BamaATL 16593]

On 4/24/2024 at 10:45 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Republicans these days would call Nixon a libtard for some of his views.

Just imagine what they'd think of Barry Goldwater.  

[atomheartbevo 89807]

42 minutes ago, BamaATL said:

Just imagine what they'd think of Barry Goldwater.  

[kevwun 15915]

Nixon created the EPA.  He'd definitely be classified as a libtard today.

Edited April 26 by kevwun

[Pancho 45004]

[NeverMarryAStripper 21922]

Just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger piece of shit he decided to sponsor legislation undermining the new rules requiring airlines to issue automatic refunds if your flight is cancelled or significantly delayed.  

[Longhorn_Fan68 33900]

1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger piece of shit he decided to sponsor legislation undermining the new rules requiring airlines to issue automatic refunds if your flight is cancelled or significantly delayed.  

wouldn't Biden just veto that if it reached his desk?

[Js1 85582]

39 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Just when you thought he couldn’t be a bigger piece of shit he decided to sponsor legislation undermining the new rules requiring airlines to issue automatic refunds if your flight is cancelled or significantly delayed.  

Delta, SW and AA are all in the top 15 for Ted's campaign and PAC contributions. 

More surprising was that a Dem from WA State co-sponsored it on the Senate side and a Dem from WA State co-sponsored the House side (with a GOP rep from Missouri). 

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21922]

17 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Delta, SW and AA are all in the top 15 for Ted's campaign and PAC contributions. 

More surprising was that a Dem from WA State co-sponsored it on the Senate side and a Dem from WA State co-sponsored the House side (with a GOP rep from Missouri). 

 

Fuck those airlines, then.  I guess the WA rep sponsorship must have something to do with Boeing

[kevwun 15915]

Aerospace in general is very big in Washington.  If something benefits the people, you can guarantee that Ted Cruz will oppose it.

[YGIFS 19452]

Lashing out because you didnt' your way on that bill to allow Senators to go through separate entrances at commercial airports because you're still butt-hurt about being photographed with the common people sneaking off to Cancun during the Big Freeze?  And now you're taking it out on your constituency because of your snowflake feelings.  This is why your family hates you, you take our lack of self-confidence on the most vulnerable people in your lives and worst part is, you seem to enjoy it or at least get fulfillment out of it.  

I know we make jokes about your face, and your smarminess, Heidi's fellatio habits, and all that.  And you're an intelligent guy.  But deep down inside...you're just mean Ted.  And not the "I'm better than the average folks I represent!" kinda mean, Ted.  You enjoy it, it fills some void in your soul that can never be filled no matter how much cruelty you visit upon family and fellow citizens alike.  I don't know what happened to you in the mid-2010's........but something did.  And you should seek some counseling, sir.  After you out and suck Trump's dick publicly.  Get that outta the way, and then talk to somebody, Ted.  Your daughters deserve better.  

[pacman 7371]

[Blotto 23579]

aggy gonna aggy

[Stringer 1439]

4 hours ago, Blotto said:

aggy gonna aggy

 

This fucking guy.  I just looked at his official FEC biography and he has the Texas A&M University School of Law, graduating in 2002.  That school did not exist.  It was Texas Wesleyan and A&M bought it in 2013.  On his OFFICIAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT RESUME.  

Also, that resume has him as a Corps member.  So, a genuine weirdo.

[SydneyCarton 48183]

10 hours ago, Stringer said:

 

This fucking guy.  I just looked at his official FEC biography and he has the Texas A&M University School of Law, graduating in 2002.  That school did not exist.  It was Texas Wesleyan and A&M bought it in 2013.  On his OFFICIAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT RESUME.  

Also, that resume has him as a Corps member.  So, a genuine weirdo.

[South Austin 52615]

Whatever you call that law school, I'm sort of surprised that Ted would associate with a lawyer who has such an underwhelming academic resume.

[4th&Five 41590]

Wut?

 

[atomheartbevo 89807]

25 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Whatever you call that law school, I'm sort of surprised that Ted would associate with a lawyer who has such an underwhelming academic resume.

Ted is a Man of the People.

13 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

Wut?

He is fully embracing the podcast lifestyle.

[miguelito 11312]

The winning horse is going to have to be shot.

[YGIFS 19452]

Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

[Js1 85582]

He didn't pick a horse, or tell us, because he doesn't want to put the Cruz Curse on it. 

[BamaATL 16593]

Even if you for some strange reason like Ted Cruz, why the fuck would you want a picture of the Derby winner with his autograph?  

That's like having Patrick Stewart signing a Yankees poster.  

[jimmyjazz 46143]

Ted needs to pick a horse.  If he doesn't, the whole field is gonna DNF in some sort of equine mass casualty event on the home stretch.

[YGIFS 19452]

"Hey, Senator Cruz?  I noticed you didn't pick a horse in your own contest.  What a weird turn of events, huh?  Well, thanks for having us to your BBQ.  Although my hamburger tastes weird."   

[C-Man 27263]

2 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

Wut?

 

Saw this last night on Kimmel. I'm insane now, Chuck.

[C-Man 27263]

Reminded me of a great story Walton Goggins told on Seth Meyers a few weeks back when he was on promoting Fallout. Apparently, Goggins' dad is quite the character. This is what he basically wears every single day -- with TONS of turquoise.

So he gets noticed a lot. He carries around signed autograph pictures of himself that he gives out to people when they ask him who he is. In addition, he also has pictures of his son Walton, the true famous guy, and offers those as well. (The kicker is that Walton Jr's pics are signed by Walton Sr. I'll see if I can find the portion of the interview because it was the funniest, most endearing late-night talk show interview segment I've seen in many years.)

Found it -- hoping this starts about 6:32 where he says Baby Billy's character/look is partly inspired by his dad. If clip doesn't start there, scrub to 6:32.

 

[Underdog 28774]

6 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

Wut?

 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

Give me a Sawbuck on "Ingraham's Face" to Show.  

[Bullneck 19210]

On 5/1/2024 at 2:27 PM, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

wouldn't Biden just veto that if it reached his desk?

not if it's buried in another bill

[GenXer 3026]

9 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

 

 

 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

@Biff Tannen  You of all people gotta see the brilliance of GenXer's work here for Ted and the Derby.  I'm firing it off to his two top guys tomorrow.  They both have a good sense of humor, but this is magnificent.  

[smokebomb 360]

10 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Dammit, I was gonna post the same thing but didn't scroll down enough.  

If somebody here with digital skills can take that Seinfeld clip scene at Festivus Dinner.  Where Elaine sits down and asks the OTB guys, "Hey, how'd my horse do?"  And then put Ted Cruz's face on the creepy dude in the leisure suit who says, "He had to be shot."  I promise I can get that his Chief of Staff via email.  

Damnit - GenXer beat me to it.

 

 

 

[YGIFS 19452]

You guys are brilliant.  I love how seemlessly the hairline fits in with Ted's and the dude in the middle just happens to be salivating at the most inappropriate time.  

[Biff Tannen 45742]

1 hour ago, GenXer said:

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

@Biff Tannen  You of all people gotta see the brilliance of GenXer's work here for Ted and the Derby.  I'm firing it off to his two top guys tomorrow.  They both have a good sense of humor, but this is magnificent.  

There’s also a Kristi Noem joke in here 

[atomheartbevo 89807]

11 hours ago, BamaATL said:

That's like having Patrick Stewart signing a Yankees poster.  

[YGIFS 19452]

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

 

There’s also a Kristi Noem joke in here 

I agree.  But I just can’t figure it out.  So they race fox terriers like greyhounds ?

[atomheartbevo 89807]

6 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

 So they race fox terriers like greyhounds ?

In a gravel pit.

Okay, we are workshopping this and it's slightly taking shape.

[YGIFS 19452]

And instead of chasing the little rabbit on the rail, it’s a chicken?  

[atomheartbevo 89807]

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

And instead of chasing the little rabbit on the rail, it’s a chicken?  

Yes, but also, a goat is chasing the dogs...

[YGIFS 19452]

But the fox terrier is faster than a goat.  Or do you just have the goat In the infield during the race, eating grasses.  And then when the fox terriers are done chasing the chicken, you do the awards podium deal in the infield/gravel pit and shoot all the animals and toss ‘em in.  And then give Cruz some kinda commemorative Diet Coke cup while Heidi gets double teamed by two colts in the stables in an equine threesome called the “hot brown sandwich”?