Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

[YGIFS 19458]

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

[Macanudo 13339]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

Among other places.

[Bateshorn 9991]

On 10/24/2022 at 8:46 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

not all heroes wear capes. Some wear yankees caps.

 

As a Red Sox fan, I've spent my entire life hating the Yankees.....

It's a little misty up in the office today after watching that. 

[mchookem 16784]

i don't often open this thread but every once in a while i read the title and just have to post...

 

[Ten Bears 2500]

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Ted's beard looks like it was stitched together from the foot hair on Marjorie Taylor Green's missing toes.  

[jimmyjazz 47310]

1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Among other places.

Oh, gross.

[aggie08 21848]

2 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Among other places.

In all my years of shaggy and surly, I have never given out a single neg rep. You're pushing it, muchacho.

[HornOnTheBayou 9067]

The ref at my kid's soccer game today looked just like Ted Cruz. I felt bad for the guy, but I just really had this serious urge to punch him in the face the entire game.

[jimmyjazz 47310]

7 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

The ref at my kid's soccer game today looked just like Ted Cruz. I felt bad for the guy, but I just really had this serious urge to punch him in the face the entire game.

As someone who spent something like 14 years watching my kid claw his way up the ranks of club soccer, I support this message.

[HornOnTheBayou 9067]

No, he was actually a good ref. There were a couple of calls that made me raise my eyebrow, but nothing egregious. I just had this primal need to punch him in the jaw because he looked like that fuckin' Canadian traitor. 

[atomheartbevo 90673]

On 10/31/2022 at 1:34 PM, mchookem said:

i don't often open this thread but every once in a while i read the title and just have to post...

 

 

[4th&Five 42026]

Why the fuck are he and Patrick in the parade?

[GenXer 3478]

On 10/31/2022 at 10:08 AM, South Austin said:

He eats pieces of shit for breakfast.

 

You are what you eat

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

Why the fuck are he and Patrick in the parade?

Because Ted and Dan are shameless panderers? Ted is a huge troll, anyway, and that seems to have been apparent for decades.

[Red Five 41783]

Didn't want to put it in the Gameday thread because CR, but I was thinking how funny it would be if someone really tone deaf at ESPN decided it would be a good idea for Cruz or Abbott to be the guest speaker on Gameday this weekend. "Hey, it's the state capitol, and election day is Tuesday. It's a perfect match!". You wouldn't hear a word out of their mouths with the boos. 

[Longhorn_Fan68 34108]

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

Edited November 7, 2022 by Longhorn_Fan68

[Js1 87286]

15 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

They say you shouldn't meet your heroes but I’d like to replace the beer that guy sacrificed 

[Captainant 28596]

Inb4 @clapclapclap starts a new thread about the VIOLENT LEFT!!!!

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

I prefer the olden day method of rotten tomatoes. Gets the point across without injuring a person. It looked like there were other people, including children on that ride.

 

[High Plains Drifter 11192]

 

that beer hero dude is going to be charged and indicted. Anybody got a link to a gofundme account?

[SizzleChest 8314]

Ted should be used to having shit slung at him, but to waste a beer like that on him, of all people, makes no sense to me.

[UnivTex34 1765]

 

[jimmyjazz 47310]

[YGIFS 19458]

Can we do a meme of the NSA guy from "Red October" asking Ted..."Let me get this straight Ted, you got a second beer thrown at you at a family parade?"  

[elfenix 34776]

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

[Biff Tannen 46201]

52 minutes ago, SizzleChest said:

Ted should be used to having shit slung at him, but to waste a beer like that on him, of all people, makes no sense to me.

[Biff Tannen 46201]

11 minutes ago, elfenix said:

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

[YGIFS 19458]

13 minutes ago, elfenix said:

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

the only thing Cruz can catch is Beard Crabs from sucking off Trump.  

[Longhorn_Fan68 34108]

15 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

that's an excellently cut gif

[speed817 19986]

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

that beer hero dude is going to be charged and indicted. Anybody got a link to a gofundme account?

Nothing to worry about....it was a lovers quarrel....

[Underdog 29213]

57 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Can we do a meme of the NSA guy from "Red October" asking Ted..."Let me get this straight Ted, you got a second beer thrown at you at a family parade?"  

 

[Grade of D as in David 13256]

2 hours ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

Hey man, nice shot

 

 

What a bitch, at least W could dodge things thrown at him.

Edited November 7, 2022 by Grade of D as in David
Jimmyjazz beat me to it

[Bama Chick 28596]

you're supposed to catch and then chug the beer, raphael

lol This pathetic Reek has never done anything 1/10th as cool as that.

[Paper_jam 857]

I'm no fan of teddy C but throwing a beer can at him is just deplorable.

Should have used a bottle.

 

[Covri 6375]

[Longhorn_Fan68 34108]

this motherfucker does not know how to take an L

 

[Grade of D as in David 13256]

Should have thrown a hammer, apparently the GOP is ok with that.

[Poe It Up 126]

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9522]

Why waste a beer? White Claw, however....

[jimmyjazz 47310]

[EuroHorn 3295]

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

[Hammerin Hank 1268]

3 minutes ago, EuroHorn said:

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

If there was a left wing version of Ted Cruz we would all hate him too. The right has a monopoly on those types of shitheads though 

[4th&Five 42026]

[ultimaton 2985]

29 minutes ago, Poe It Up said:

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

Surly's own Carlos Mencia, everyone. If you're gonna steal a joke (A) at least make sure it's a funny one; and (B) not already sitting in this thread a few posts above yours.

[tchookem 3985]

I prefer the olden day method of rotten tomatoes. Gets the point across without injuring a person. It looked like there were other people, including children on that ride.
 

[lobo]Heidi was too busy fucking the other half of Houston to be there[/lobo]

[YGIFS 19458]

Hey don't look at me, those (mostly true) stories started long before I ever brought it up.  Best way to get Ted and kids outta the house on a Monday for some dayfucking is tell 'em "Grand Marshall tickets for everyone, you can park at my office!"  

[chainsaw 10308]

People are mad that it's a white claw. I say it's pisswater and I'm glad a good beer wasn't wasted.

[Pescado_Rojo 19593]

55 minutes ago, Poe It Up said:

Apparently it was a White Claw, which explains the noodle arm. 

Maybe it was his wife? I'm sure she hates him, too. 

[deac_tracy 517]

15 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Maybe it was his wife? I'm sure she hates him, too. 

Pretty sure it was Ted's dad behind the grassy knoll.

[TexEx15 17959]

53 minutes ago, EuroHorn said:

this site:

Checks political affiliation…

thumbs up to violence !

It was his gay lover apparently so it’s more of a lover’s quarrel. We know how your side feels about those kinds of spats.