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Posted
1 hour ago, DaysOff said:

How can a poor that makes like 174k afford Sugar Bowl tickets?

Profits off his book due to his campaign and rnc buying a shot load of them. 

Posted

He also makes massive royalties from the stock photographs of his head used by media outlets and film studios alike for "resting cunt face"  

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Posted
6 hours ago, tchookem said:

Ted Cruz makes DeSantis look charming. The only reason this isn't getting mentioned is because when Ted showed Trump his belly it eliminated him as a candidate to be taken seriously in the GOP.

Ted's reached his apex, he just does't have the self-awareness to know it.

Same with Greg Abbott.  He doesn't realize he's never going to get a job in D.C.

And Ted still doesn't know how fucking whiney he sounds.  

Posted
19 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

My god, if ever there was a "every accusation is a confession" meme, this is it folks.  You can shut down the internet.  

The idea that there is a single woman on this planet who could POSSIBLY think "my current man is not satisfying me.....if only Ted Cruz would show up to ravage me" is perhaps the most outlandish thing I've ever heard of.

And I've heard a lot of aggies say they are on track to win a football national title next season.

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Posted
On 12/17/2023 at 7:37 PM, Underdog said:

Ted will be at the Sugar Bowl with one of his kids with him as a human shield. 

That’s a curse. Texas teams lose when he attempts to band wagon. 

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Posted (edited)

Sometimes when I'm taking a hot shit, I wonder if Ted wears the jersey of the guy currently nailing his wife in an effort to close out the series faster? 

Edited by YGIFS
Posted
37 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

The idea that there is a single woman on this planet who could POSSIBLY think "my current man is not satisfying me.....if only Ted Cruz would show up to ravage me" is perhaps the most outlandish thing I've ever heard of.

And I've heard a lot of aggies say they are on track to win a football national title next season.

Surely, you jest.

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35 minutes ago, CTC2 said:

That’s a curse. Texas teams lose when he attempts to band wagon. 

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Posted
5 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Calling them wienies....it's like he's never looked in a mirror or listened to himself talk.

Yeah, that was his other "tell."  Call 'em Betas, or Cucks, or Pussies, or F***, or whatever else terminology they throw around in hateland...but "wienies", Ted?  There had to be a few hundred MAGA 'tough guys' in the crowd that were Pavlovian clapping that looked at one another like, "Did he just Wienies?  Like the shit we called the little guys in Kindergarten?  Why?"   

Posted

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

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Posted
30 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

Asking him how his kids are doing.   It sounds nice and all but is really an awful thing to say to him.

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Posted
40 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

Just say “no offense” first and everything after is good to go. 

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Posted

"Hey Ted, if we don't get above 32 by halftime...feel free to take off for Cancuck.  I mean Cruzcunt.  I mean Cancun.  Dammit, I had something for this.  Dammit drunk Biff!"  

Posted
14 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

Asking him how his kids are doing.   It sounds nice and all but is really an awful thing to say to him.

Tell Ted his dog wants him to come home.

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Posted
52 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

He feeds off the hate. Seriously, he gets off to it. Heckling him just reinforces to him that he's owning the libs. The best thing to do is just ignore him and act like he doesn't exist. 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, royiv said:

He feeds off the hate. Seriously, he gets off to it. Heckling him just reinforces to him that he's owning the libs. The best thing to do is just ignore him and act like he doesn't exist. 

fuck that ice cube GIF

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Posted
34 minutes ago, GenXer said:

I’m gonna ask him if he’s gonna work the Trump phone bank like a bitch again. 

"Hey Ted, did you hear that just today Trump called your wife ugly again?"

Posted
2 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Asking him how his kids are doing.   It sounds nice and all but is really an awful thing to say to him.

Tell him you're praying for him, and that you hope his kids love him as much as your kids love you, and that you hope his wife loves him a fraction of how much she loves you.

1 hour ago, GenXer said:

I’m gonna ask him if he’s gonna work the Trump phone bank like a bitch again. 

I'd tell him that I heard a rumor from a President that Ted's dad is a Cuban Communist who killed JFK.

Posted (edited)

Do you every think this Harvard and Princeton graduate ever reflects on the type of life he leads?

Edited by yoladu
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Posted
On 12/19/2023 at 5:17 PM, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

I suggest you toss him a beer can ala the Astros World Series parade version only this time make sure he's looking the other way. After all, it's a celebration. Whose celebrating what is a matter of opinion.

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Posted

I get that he was playing to the crowd of stupids who think Jeff Dunham is a misunderstood genius.  But a sitting U.S. Senator-who fancies himself a true Alpha Male-used the terms "wienies" and "poopie pants" over the course of one minute at a rather serious political conference.  

That's the kinda stuff my 3rd grader comes home with after she finishes school, "Daddy, the boys in my class are so weird.  They think saying stuff like wienies, poopie pants, and all that gross stuff is funny."  And I have to tell that to just ignore them, and they'll eventually grow up and realize potty humor isn't funny.  Welp, Cruz proved once again, I don't know what in the fuck is going on anymore.  

I'm guessing next year Ted brings up boobies, wee-wee's, and ting-tangs.  All referring to Donald's impressive physique no doubt.  

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Posted

I think Ted was hoping "Poopie Pants Biden" was gonna stick like "Lyin' Ted" or "Crooked Hillary."  Instead the only thing sticking is Heidi's hair after she takes load after load to the face like a Lee Krasner canvas.  

There's no shortage of examples of primary opponents eventually cowering in fear to the eventual nominee, doing their bidding, and even serving alongside them in their new administrations.  But people like Ted just took it to an unfathomable level the way he just tries to damn hard to be like Trump.  But that fucking face of his, and lack of spine just won't allow it.  

Posted
12 hours ago, Red Five said:

Why on earth wouldn't the President of the United States travel with a change of clothes?

hell, I keep an extra pair of drawers zipped up in an interior compartment of my laptop bag. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

hell, I keep an extra pair of drawers zipped up in an interior compartment of my laptop bag. 

Welp, I know what I'll start doing if I ever have an office to visit.  

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Posted
15 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Instead the only thing sticking is Heidi's hair after she takes load after load to the face like a Lee Krasner canvas.  

I’m was waiting for Lobo to work in a Heidislut remark. Well done, good sir.

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Posted
19 hours ago, yoladu said:

Do you every think this Harvard and Princeton graduate ever reflects on the type of life he leads?

 

19 hours ago, Underdog said:

That’s a smart move by team Biden. 

 

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Posted
1 hour ago, South Austin said:

I’m was waiting for Lobo to work in a Heidislut remark. Well done, good sir.

It was really architected to mention Lee Kasner in a low-brow sexual thread derail started by Ted himself at CPAC.  That’s not easy to do man. 

Posted
43 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

All the way up to 5 pm on Christmas Eve and he's spent the entire afternoon on Twitter.  Kinds sad if you think about it:

 

Bet his wife and kids are thankful he’s leaving them alone and spending his time on Twitter.

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Posted
1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

Bet his wife and kids are thankful he’s leaving them alone and spending his time on Twitter.

 

Probably looked up from his phone, saw he was alone in the den, wondered where everyone went, shrugged his shoulders and kept on tweetin'.

 

 

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