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Carpetbagging weasel faced smarmy little bitch, Ted Cruz

Grade of D as in David

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South Austin

South Austin 53,227

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18 minutes ago, SameSame said:

Ted Cruz releases statement..       ‘Look, my wife and kids are so goddamn dumb there is no way they could find the hotel without me.   Trust me she’s dumb, I told my wife it was chilly outside, and she headed out the door with a spoon.  Dumb, fucking dumb I tell you.  Go America!’

“And my wife is also ugly. My hero and our savior Donald Trump said so!”

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Homercles
Homercles

Wow I didn’t know that, not to be rude but is there a source on that?  I cannot imagine living with a national public figure for a parent, who not only spreads that hate to a huge audience but is also

mchookem
mchookem

SIAP

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https://www.yahoo.com/news/ruben-gallego-hurls-expletives-ted-002927543.html Rep. Ruben Gallego hurled profanity at Sen. Ted Cruz after the Texas Republican worried that Democrats and the media w

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UncleSonny

UncleSonny 6,798

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So it's pretty easy to understand (while still infuriating) how a GOP Senator gets re-elected in Texas no matter how big of an asshat they are but I have no memory of his primary. 

Just looked back at some things from the time, still pretty perplexed why him but I did find this. Of course one of his first big endorsements was Sarah Palin.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sarah-palin-endorses-ted-cruz-senate-texas_n_1507213

I know Republicans have been steadily headed down this long dumb road for a long time but the decision to put her on that ticket really seems like an inflection point where this whole MAGA nightmare was supercharged.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26,892

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Member back when Lil Marco blurted out a line in Spanish at Ted, and Ted shot back a string of Spanish sounds? I member.

Anyway, with that in mind, think of the stress Ted has to feel in Cancun, sure, it's Taco Bell Mexico and all the waiters know some English, but some uninformed local could still turn around, bump into Ted, and then say more horrible foreign words. I tell you that would be stress like a ticking time bomb.

Y'all don't appreciate the sacrifice.

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TexasEd

TexasEd 8,266

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18 hours ago, TexasEd said:

Is this Rafael headed to Cancun?  Thoughts?

 

 

Holy Shit.  When I posted this 18 hours ago I was thinking it was a shitty move but no way would I think we'd have 6 pages of #FlyinTed and the whole country dunking on Ted.

What a dumbass self-inflicted wound.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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"I partied in Cancun, Mexico for 9 hours and all I got was this shitty t-shirt."  

I'd really like to know how they thought this was gonna look back in Texas.  

Staff:  "Sir, we'll play it off as you going to recharge on white sand beaches with your family after the long battle to fight for Trump's rightful place back in the White House."

Cruz: "You think they'll buy it?"

Staff:  "It's gotta work better than the truth."  

 

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aggie08

aggie08 21,800

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6 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

 

Bless these poor women. They finally found a way to burn their bridge with Heidi, so they no longer have to talk to Ted on couples' game night.

Edited by aggie08
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Jack Straw

Jack Straw 2,955

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1 hour ago, Blotto said:

This is the GOP. has been for awhile

He knows its a lie, we know its a lie, his constituents know its a lie. They dont care.

Republicans are dishonest.  They will cheer him, and they will reward him for this.  Republicans value dishonesty above all all else.  His approval numbers among R voters will go up.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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According to his staff, Ted was traveling to Mexico to get them to pay for the Wall (Heater).  

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

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Mole

Mole 4,339

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3 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

The Babylon Bee is sure making The Onion look foolish for thinking only funny satire would sell.

 

The Babylon Bee does a good job of satirizing the foibles of conservative evangelical culture. They know it well and do a good job of making light-hearted fun. Whenever step outside their comedic comfort zone, it turns into unfunny grievance politics pretending to be comedy.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 90,650

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8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

He has streaks of being incredibly tone deaf, and always has.  That has nothing to do with whether he's sharp or measured.

Throw in some arrogance/ego since he's not up next year.

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7,830

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9 minutes ago, Lobo said:

According to his staff, Ted was traveling to Mexico to get them to pay for the Wall (Heater).  

Seriously, he's an asshole, a traitor, and beyond egotistical.  But he's not stupid.  I know y'all like to say he's the dumbest asshole in Texas, but he's very sharp and very measured.  That's what makes this so puzzling.  He knew he'd get this kinda backlash.  He knows 70% of his voters will suck his dick for his as long as he keeps sucking Trump's in some sort of bizarre Tex-Cru-Tru human centipede chain.  But he had to know on many levels this would not play well more broadly with all eyes on Texas right now across the nation.  I am really wondering what the play here was.  

He's gone full Trump and he doesn't care.  He'll lie to your face and his supporters will reward him for it.  It's all about owning the libs.  Nothing else matters.  Decency and honesty went out the window with Ted a long time ago.  He's done the political calculus and decided he's better off being a lying shitbag.  So that's the role he'll play.

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Ted Lange

Ted Lange 16,413

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13 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

Republicans are dishonest.  They will cheer him, and they will reward him for this.  Republicans value dishonesty above all all else.  His approval numbers among R voters will go up.  

They will 100% cheer it on.   Look how triggered Ted got the libs!!!! 

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Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 11,130

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3 minutes ago, Mole said:

The Babylon Bee does a good job of satirizing the foibles of conservative evangelical culture. They know it well and do a good job of making light-hearted fun. Whenever step outside their comedic comfort zone, it turns into unfunny grievance politics pretending to be comedy.

100% this.  I enjoy them when they point the satire finger inwards rather than outwards.  I stopped following them early last year because it was way more of the latter than the former.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Woland said:

Can you be smart and horribly obtuse at the same time?

I hope so, that's kinda my jam.  

I am going to make a cocktail and look for Houston news feeds tonight to see his arrival at his house with these protestors.  "Oh, I'm sorry Senator...are these too not also patriots?"  

Edited by Lobo
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Tom

Tom 2,960

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50 minutes ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

I've got Holiday Road stuck in my head.

 

Funny, but that song also legit gets stuck in my head all the time at random for no good reason.  I think I watched Vacation too many times growing up. 

Damn you, Lindsey Buckingham and your infectious voice and guitar riffs.

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PenelopeWitherspoon

PenelopeWitherspoon 19,305

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2 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

I did not realize they were twins, I thought they were the same guy and then I figured out I was thinking of chris hadfield the entire time. 

LOL.  Yeah.  Scott lives in Houston.  His dig at Flyin' Ted was masterful.  A lot of shade without being specific.  

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