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Posted

Between "An Emotionally Tortured Jedi" and "An Emotionally Torturing Ted", both Cruz daughters want to grow up to be like Daisy.  

Posted (edited)

I like how he holds his cigarette like Rust Cohle.  

"Ted is a Fat Circle"  

Edited by Lobo
Posted

Biden is in Texas today to assess the winter storm damage - he's seeing Abbott, Cornyn, Lina Hidalgo, Sly Turner, Sylvia Garcia, SJL, Al Green and Lizzie Fletcher.

But not Ted Cruz.

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Posted

Or The Lieutenant Governor.  But to be fair to Patrick, Dan had a callback for the 2021 Christmas catalog for Lane Bryant.  

Posted
16 minutes ago, Captainant said:

So is the modern GOP just wrestling heels now? I mean their chosen leader IS a WWE hall of famer, but cmon man lol

yep.  been trending that way for a while.  Fox News ran with that at first.  it was good for TV.

but now the GOP has full on embraced it as a platform.

Posted
28 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

lulz.  that's one way to deal with it, i guess.

can't wait for the siege on the capital and 9-11 standup sets. 

Ted: "Oh man, I haven't seen this much overhyped media coverage of a flaming crash since 9/11 allegedly happened." Badum-tiss

Posted

Holy shit that guy is unhinged today.  I guess the old Mayan proverb is correct..:You can take the man out of Cancun but you can’t take Cancun out of the Man

Posted
1 hour ago, Captainant said:

So is the modern GOP just wrestling heels now? I mean their chosen leader IS a WWE hall of famer, but cmon man lol

He was trying to get Gym Jordan to do the dirty work, so a bottom-feeding heel manager.

Cruz is essentially Joel Gertner working a bit less blue.

Posted

the Dems probably do this too at these little pep rallies, but fuck, this is no different than an old fashioned tent revival except they are worshiping 'Values' and Trump instead of God.  God is probably in there as a subset of Values right there behind 2A, POC being put back their places, taking away rights for non-hetero peeps and insurrection.  the collection bucket probably gets passed around more often, though

 

Posted
1 minute ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

He was trying to get Gym Jordan to do the dirty work, so a bottom-feeding heel manager.

Now that you mention it, Ted does look kinda like Percy Pringle.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

the Dems probably do this too at these little pep rallies, but fuck, this is no different than an old fashioned tent revival except they are worshiping 'Values' and Trump instead of God.  God is probably in there as a subset of Values right there behind 2A, POC being put back their places, taking away rights for non-hetero peeps and insurrection.  the collection bucket probably gets passed around more often, though

 

 

Well, yeah

777.jpg?width=445&quality=45&auto=format

 

 

Posted
On 2/23/2021 at 4:38 PM, StassneyHorn said:

I’m like 99% sure I stopped by the HornFans tailgate in Omaha back in 09 and knew about Surly at least from 07 if I’m remembering right. I know the reach, just don’t carry usernames over.

Pretty sure it was impossible to know about Surly “at least from 07”...

 

Also...fuck off Ted Cruz you bitch ass trump cuck

 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

Exactly what I was thinking.  He could've said "Orlando is nicer than Cancun" and it would've had the same effect, and not pissed off the people in the city where he's speaking.  But that would require some kind of social skill and self awareness.

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Posted
4 hours ago, Js1 said:

Biden is in Texas today to assess the winter storm damage - he's seeing Abbott, Cornyn, Lina Hidalgo, Sly Turner, Sylvia Garcia, SJL, Al Green and Lizzie Fletcher.

But not Ted Cruz.

Al Green?

 

4 hours ago, bolverk said:

 

I heard he threw out a good bit of gay projection during this speech as well.  I'm not going to watch it to find out just how graphic he got in describing gay sex, but I hear it was gross, as is everything related to Ted Cruz.

Posted
2 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

He’s getting as fat as trump 

It's because Ice Cream is the only thing in his life that can't disrespect him.

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Posted
44 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

He's not trying to be a politician anymore. He is trying to be a famous podcaster. Between the insurrection and the trip to Cancun, I think he realizes he is not running for President but he can become more famous and richer than he ever thought by being the next Rush.

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Posted
7 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

He's not trying to be a politician anymore. He is trying to be a famous podcaster. Between the insurrection and the trip to Cancun, I think he realizes he is not running for President but he can become more famous and richer than he ever thought by being the next Rush.

I agree.  Looks more like he's polishing his televangelist bit.  He's preaching like one.   Like some sort of mixture of Rush and Pat Robertson.  I would imagine there's more money and less oversite in a gig like that too than being a senator.  He knows now he'll never be president. 

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Posted

Imagine debasing yourself all weekend in Orlando, wisecracks about Cancun, still throwing your wife and daughters under the bus, worshipping at the altar of Trump, spewing out lie after lie, compromising yourself with every single sentence, tacitly begging for approval from people you despise and feel intellectually superior to at every damn turn, looking like a pathetic goon craving the attention of a man who would sooner shit on your wife's chest than give you a cabinet position.....you do all that at CPAC in Orlando, Florida (the municipal equivalent of a mullet) and you're still just the opening act for a golden statue of Trump wearing Apollo Creed's boxing trunks.  

Posted
2 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

It would be more entertaining if it didn't work on the cult.  But it works.

Posted (edited)

once you cross the line the only thing to do its double down. he should be facing trial. lost that chance obviously. now he is just the dumb retarded cousin the terrorists are stuck with. the second he quits or loses office someone will want him dead (some Qtard I mean, of course)

Edited by staboner
Posted
3 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

IOW, Ted has a tiny dick and it's pathetic?  

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Posted
You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”
Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?
Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

Nah.

Fuck him.
Posted
5 hours ago, kevwun said:

It's because Ice Cream is the only thing in his life that can't disrespect him.

Don’t disrespect ice cream, even murderous Aggy ice cream has infinitely more dignity than than Ted fuckin Cruz. 



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