Good joke thread

[gofuckyourself 8,386]

Lame jokes? Lets get the good jokes remembered and out there. Or start a new argument about what's a good joke anyway.

I heard a variation of this by the late great Bob Einstein on Comedians in Cars and loved it. I'm half Polish (works for all "dumb" targets).

 

An Irishman, a German and a Polack are each being executed on the same day. The warden first brings the Irishman to the electric chair.

"Okay Murphy, you get one last statement then we throw the switch. But if nothing happens, you're free to go."

"Tuh hell with ya and I regret nuttin'!"

He's strapped in and the warden throws the switch. Nothing happens.

The warden says, "That's a billion to one chance! You indeed have the luck of the Irish today. You're free to go."

He brings the German over.

"Ok Schulz, you get one last statement."

"To hell vit you oont I regret nuttink!"

He sits him down and throws the switch. Nothing.

The warden says, "Unbelievable! Billion to one. But, you're free to go."

The warden starts to bring the Polack over.

"Ok Kowalski you get ..."

"Yeah I know, but before that I need to tell you that your chair is unplugged."

[Jerry Callo 8,731]

There is no quoting a Bob Einstein joke.  

NSFW
 

 

Edited September 19 by Jerry Callo

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11,669]

I've always loved that clip because Jerry is such a bad actor you can tell when they are doing the first shoot and he really doesn't know the joke and when they are splicing in different takes.

[Bill Brasky 1,463]

 

[AUS-97HORN 11,824]

 

Texas aTm ?

[gofuckyourself 8,386]

2 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

 

Texas aTm ?

Tough call. Funny, certainly. But they're never good.

I'd have to say lame joke thread.

Or we need a cringe joke thread.

[shakahorn 1,645]

3 hours ago, Bill Brasky said:

 

I'm almost sure that joke is in the 'lame joke thread.'  But it's not Norm MacDonald telling it.

[Dennis Taylor 18,875]

Stewart begging him to stop is the best part 

 

 

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11,669]

That’s one of my all time favorite clips.