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Hard Knocks -- 2018 Cleveland Browns -- The Search for One Win

Patrick Bateman

By Patrick Bateman
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Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman 3916

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Another sad sack franchise to follow, but at least it's not that boring.  They have a new front office, a terrible coach, the surprising Heisman winning first pick QB in the draft, a diva WR with substance abuse issues, a diva rookie WR with substance abuse issues.  We have it all!!!  Except for wins.  Aggies, Sooners, and Bears.... Oh my.

And to drive those ratings!!!  This dropped today.... right in front of tonight's premiere!  Where's Carson Wentz when you need him?

If you like train wrecks..... this could be your thing.

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Hornin04

Hornin04 261

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As a Browns fan who has never watched an episode of Hard Knocks in the past, I'm in.

 

So did they just do it that way for dramatic effect or are they more impressed with Baker than Tyrod at this point?  Seemed like they were implying that.  Baker handles himself well for being the new guy.  I wonder if Johnny 8-ball was the same way at the start of camp.

Haley seems to think Jackson's an idiot.

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RPM

RPM 26322

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1 hour ago, Horny04 said:

 

So did they just do it that way for dramatic effect or are they more impressed with Baker than Tyrod at this point?  Seemed like they were implying that.

The entire state of Ohio is more impressed with Mayfield than Taylor. He's the latest name on the jersey. Tyrod is some schmuck from Buffalo.

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Patrick Bateman

Patrick Bateman 3916

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1 hour ago, Horny04 said:

As a Browns fan who has never watched an episode of Hard Knocks in the past, I'm in.

 

So did they just do it that way for dramatic effect or are they more impressed with Baker than Tyrod at this point?  Seemed like they were implying that.  Baker handles himself well for being the new guy.  I wonder if Johnny 8-ball was the same way at the start of camp.

Haley seems to think Jackson's an idiot.

Browns are the worst franchise in the league (as you know) with no stars anywhere in sight.  Having the first pick who just won the Heisman, of course he's going to be one of the major storylines of the show.  The producers are going to make this much more dramatic then it may be irl, and the Browns are influencing their brand by trying to get some name recognition for it's younger core players.

Fuck the Browns colors are atrocious.  Just terrible.

Carl Nassib should probably not be a financial advisor..... but at least he understands the value of saving, which puts him way ahead of most of these guys.

Hue Jackson will not be the HC for very long, IMO.  He's not built to be a general.  Probably his last year, but damn my heart goes out to him.  Brother and Mom within 2 weeks.  Damn.  

Gregg Williams is a total asshat.  Fuck that guy.

Jarvis Landry's got dem hands and dat juice.  No sunshine when we talkin' bout practice.

Corey Coleman sighting!!!  He's dropped a few so they decided to recast his part.  Won't be in episode 3.

Mayfield, a guy from Texas, who went to Oklahoma, then drafted to a team in Ohio and chooses a song about..... West Virginia.  Not mensa.

Todd Haley is gonna get his ass beat again.  He's just a cranky old dude but a lot folks think he'll be the HC by Thanksgiving.

 

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bamachine

bamachine 1231

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Nassib was way off on his calculations but maybe he does get some of those guys to save some money and not leave the league broke as fuck. Also, kinda like the instagram note he pushed on them at the end.

Had not paid much attention to the Browns or their head coach in recent years. Feel sorry for the dude's family issues but he seems to be a dumbass of a HC. Ol' Fat Freddie brought up a good point and the DC backed him up, HC puts the immediate kibosh on their suggestions. 

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Constant

Constant 6734

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42 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

amazing how Gregg Williams keeps finding jobs. I mean if the last 18 times he failed at defensive coordinator, theres always cleveland.

When he said he turned down 7 jobs to be in Cleveland I had a pretty good laugh. I don’t think Associate Manager of the local Best Buy counts, Gregg. 

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Message Board User

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8 hours ago, Horny04 said:

As a Browns fan who has never watched an episode of Hard Knocks in the past, I'm in.

 

So did they just do it that way for dramatic effect or are they more impressed with Baker than Tyrod at this point?  Seemed like they were implying that.  Baker handles himself well for being the new guy.  I wonder if Johnny 8-ball was the same way at the start of camp.

Haley seems to think Jackson's an idiot.

Mayfield has been terrific so far in camp; fortunately all of the Browns x-games are on national TV (starting on Thursday vs the Gints) so we’ll be able to see for ourselves how far he has to go to be a viable starter.  But early returns are very positive.

Hue is a dumbass - I was tired of seeing his fat face about 3 seconds in.

I’m most interested if the series touches on the owner’s (not so affectionately referred to as Hee Haw in Browns online forums and who should probably be in jail) legal battles.

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Forty Acres

Forty Acres 90

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Before this show, I couldn't imagine how any NFL team could only win 1 game is 2 years.  After this first episode, I am actually amazed they have been so successful.

What a shit show and unorganized mess.  I have watched this show for years as a "football is starting" ritual, I guess.  This is the first time an organization comes across as being closer to a Last Chance U documentary series than one based on an actual NFL franchise.  

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PantsTent

PantsTent 2002

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1 hour ago, Tylerocks said:

I'm getting a Mr. Krueger (Seinfeld) vibe from their GM.

The fucking sweatshirt, flip-flops...."I'm not too worried about it"

My thought exactly.  I was waiting for him to spin around in the chair. "Three times around, no feet"

 

Edited by PantsTent
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kevwun

kevwun 15795

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I think the GM spends 75% of his day hugging people.  Way to be awkward as fuck with making Jackson do a group hug and then causing him to break down.  You know what grieving people want most of all?  Some normalcy and not having every single conversation be about their loss.

Edited by kevwun
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Art Vandelay

Art Vandelay 1712

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15 minutes ago, kevwun said:

I think the GM spends 75% of his day hugging people.  Way to be awkward as fuck with making Jackson do a group hug and then causing him to break down.  You know what grieving people want most of all?  Some normalcy and not having every single conversation be about their loss.

And I imagine that goes X100 when it's in front of a TV crew following you around.

Edited by Art Vandelay
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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7780

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I thought the RV was really strange.  So the backup QB (and rookie) goes out and buys an RV, parks it in the parking lot, and it's all normal?  And the other rookie QB is his bitch?

 

I know being the #1 pick puts you on a different level than the 4th string guy, but it felt wrong.  And why do they need the RV?  Does the training center not have facilities for them to relax and talk?

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Frank The Tank

Frank The Tank 1497

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I’m a Tech guy and want to hate Mayfield as much as anyone, but I don’t think the RV thing was his choice.

I’m not 100% sure but I thought the other QBs made him do it because he was a rookie and got the huge signing bonus. Other rookie didn’t get the big money, so he didn’t have to pay for the RV, just be in charge of the snacks. 

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Sparky

Sparky 149

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14 hours ago, bamachine said:

Nassib was way off on his calculations but maybe he does get some of those guys to save some money and not leave the league broke as fuck. Also, kinda like the instagram note he pushed on them at the end.

 

Did you notice the one guy eating a plate of mussels during his impromptu seminar?  How many plates of mussels get eaten at training camp?

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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2 hours ago, BERT said:

How long ago did they start filming? Sorry i don't get HBO so i've never watched this show. Didn't Corey Coleman get traded?

Id probably say late july-last saturday is when the episode was done, and now we get weekly shows. so theyre filming next weeks show(8-14) right now(8-5-8-11ish?). edit, produce, repeat.

 

Colemans trade happens in next weeks show in the previews because he was blowing up in the office it looked like. So thatll be entertaining.

Edited by MNLonghornFUKM
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Carl Spackler

Carl Spackler 3485

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After watching this episode, I now have a much better understanding of why Cleveland has sucked for so long.

Nick Chubb has got to be wondering what he did to deserve being drafted by Cleveland.  Mayfield gets the red carpet treatment.  Chubb gets stuck waiting for his bags and talking with "fans" who don't know who the fuck he is. 

+1 on the Drew Stanton comment above.  Fuck that guy for acting like he's some hotshit vet.

Feel sorry for Hue Jackson -- losing a brother and mom within weeks is rough.  But that guy is not an NFL HC, and he's definitely not the guy to reverse decades of Cleveland suckiness.

Jarvis Landry's speech cracked me up, and the guy is legit out on the field.  But I agree on shelving the whole "bless them" bit.  Sounds like a hackneyed effort to emulate Ochocinco's "child, please" rap from several years ago.

 

 

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Message Board User

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13 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

Why all the Hue hate ?

Because he's a 1-31 poser who most of the vets and coaches see right through and don't respect.  That coaches meeting was awkward and you could tell that Haley and the RB coach thinks Hue is soft; they were absolutely right too.  Hue coaches out of fear (oh so-and-so might get injured if he practices too much so let's give them the day off so they can wear those safari hats and jerkoff in the corner of the field rather than making them dress and actually be involved in the drills, even if they don't actually practice).  Too much of a players coach.

I look forward to October or November when Hue gets canned and Haley is elevated to HC; he's not the asshole we want, but he's the asshole we need.

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