World Nomad Games

[Stoogey 219]

"The Central Asian Olympics." Opening ceremonies September 2, 2018, 8:00PM. Closing ceremonies September 8, 8:00PM. Kyrgyz Republic.
 

This year there will be children's events.  



Competitions for the ladies: archery, archery on horseback, dancing



and synchronized dancing on horseback. 



Also a fashion show and best yurt / tent contest. New this year is the World Nomad Cuisine so let's get cooking, girls!

For us guys, looks pretty much like the same old same old. About seven different kinds of archery (four on horseback), about seven different kinds of wrestling (two on horseback), throwing wooden javelins at each other on horseback, horse racing, hound racing. 

Then there are the more obscure sports:

 

burkut saluu (hunting with eagles on horseback),



setting a guy on fire and chasing him (I don't know the nomad word for this event),



kok-boru (kind of like polo except with a decapitated goat carcass),



and oert jalymdagan chabandes (burning nomads on horseback - racers get their the fire extinguished in the order they cross the finish line.)



They even put it on a postage stamp.

The USA contingent has only won two silver and two bronze medals. Let's step it up, America!

[52-80 19,150]

i always wanted to visit the steppes and shoot an arrow at a moving target from horseback

[Prepuce of Doom 21,065]

Not to be confused with the World Gonad Games. 

[Irwin F Fletcher 3,550]

Those games are nuts!

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Not to be confused with the World Gonad Games. 

How do you figure the handicap on Bruce Jenner for those?

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

Perfect viewing for ESPN 8 "The Ocho".

[deadshank 24,652]

That looks awesome. Kinda like Asian redneck stuff. 

Here, hold my airag and watch this. 

[smuggs 9,353]

[FondrenRoad 4,378]

I'm kind of liking the handstand archery.

[RDCanecutter 26,411]

For us guys, looks pretty much like the same old same old. About seven different kinds of archery (four on horseback), about seven different kinds of wrestling (two on horseback), throwing wooden javelins at each other on horseback, horse racing, hound racing,

and getting set on fire and chased to death after looking at one of the women. 

fifAttila.

[TexasBeta 1,261]

[Brisketexan 105,095]

No buzkashi?  No mare milking?

What kinds fake-ass Nomad Games are you running, chief?  HUH?  

[Johnny Chimpo 478]

Hahaha. I work in Kazakhstan and these guys take this sort of shit very seriously. In March I was out there for the annual new year celebration, Nauryz. They had a best yurt contest and you could go from yurt to yurt and experience hospitality such as camels milk, horse sausage, fermented horse milk, and traditional music and dance. 

Really it was quite fun. 

[Stoogey 219]

12 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

No buzkashi?  No mare milking?

What kinds fake-ass Nomad Games are you running, chief?  HUH?  

Didn't watch the video, did ya, pal?  Yes. There is mare milking. A non-competitive women's activity in the yurt village.

Going off half-cocked as usual. Buzkashi (decapitated goat polo) is the Afghani word for kok-buru (picture after the burning man running).

 

1 hour ago, Johnny Chimpo said:

Hahaha. I work in Kazakhstan and these guys take this sort of shit very seriously. In March I was out there for the annual new year celebration, Nauryz. They had a best yurt contest and you could go from yurt to yurt and experience hospitality such as camels milk, horse sausage, fermented horse milk, and traditional music and dance. 

Really it was quite fun. 

That thing where they ski around and shoot rifles at targets in the Olympics?  Shoot at each other.  Mongolian up, bro.

[Parliament 14,255]

[bolverk 29,660]

I'm going to start saving up now for the 2020 games. Maybe they'll have a hatchet throwing event added by then.

[El Diablo 4,232]

19 hours ago, Johnny Chimpo said:

Hahaha. I work in Kazakhstan and these guys take this sort of shit very seriously. In March I was out there for the annual new year celebration, Nauryz. They had a best yurt contest and you could go from yurt to yurt and experience hospitality such as camels milk, horse sausage, fermented horse milk, and traditional music and dance. 

Really it was quite fun. 

Kyrgyz Republic laughs at silly games of Kazakh peoples.

"Krygyztan - It's like Switzerland, with horses!"

Message brought to you by the Kyrgyztan Board of Tourism.

[atomheartbevo 89,648]

20 hours ago, Johnny Chimpo said:

Hahaha. I work in Kazakhstan and these guys take this sort of shit very seriously. In March I was out there for the annual new year celebration, Nauryz. They had a best yurt contest and you could go from yurt to yurt and experience hospitality such as camels milk, horse sausage, fermented horse milk, and traditional music and dance. 

Really it was quite fun. 

While it was from a camel, that wasn’t milk. 

[futureman 22,452]

On 8/10/2018 at 3:23 AM, Stoogey said:

would. 

[Neonmoon 38,129]

Don’t sleep on Turkmenistan. Solid team this year. 

Edited August 12, 2018 by Neonmoon

[Stoogey 219]

On 8/10/2018 at 1:37 PM, TexasBeta said:

Celebrity spokesmodel for the games was international star of stage and screen Mr Steven Seagal.



"If Genghis Khan was alive, he'd be here with us."

[bolverk 29,660]

3 hours ago, Stoogey said:

Celebrity spokesmodel for the games was international star of stage and screen Mr Steven Seagal.



"If Genghis Khan was alive, he'd be here with us."

Dude, we know you've gone bald and your misshapen mangina has gone gray. You ain't foolin' no one. 

[Steel Shank 9,422]

Your momma's a nomad.

[FORTY NINE TO ZERO 2,652]

This really should be on Epsn. I’d watch 

[Mack Tripper 696]

Is there a sportsbook where one can bet on this? Asking for a friend. 

[Stoogey 219]

Yes. There is betting on kok boru (decapitated goat polo). The problem is the places I found are overseas and blocked so you'd need an international proxy IP. And then there are issues with using a credit card on the internet overseas.

Some of the bookies have already posted lines on the 2020 presidential elections. Trump is the front runner. Minnesota Rep. Keith Ellison is definitely a dark horse.



Whatever you do, don't bet on the USA. We suck at kok boru.

 

[Robin Masters 122]

After your mom tried my horse sausage she didn't need to go to any other yurts.

[Catpfish 618]

I had to go look it up.  I don't think they are too concerned about CTE...or much of anything else

 

 

[Parliament 14,255]

Is that a real carcass?  Is that goal/bowl concrete?

[Stoogey 219]

19 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

That said this hipster clown above with a horse fettish isn't fooling anyone.

You have no idea how correct you are. The American team certainly didn't fool the nomads. 
 

Quote

A bunch of American amateurs in the Nomad Games’ kok-boru event is akin to Kyrgyzstan sending a team over to play football in the Super Bowl. 

-  A Kyrgyzstani's observation per The Washington Post, September 14, 2016.

The article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2016/09/14/first-ever-u-s-team-plays-rugby-on-horses-with-a-decapitated-goat-at-world-nomad-games/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.602f0ce76d95

The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVKnYB8bf4I

I would give a member of the American team credit for driving a Nomad.



How many days until PETA charters a jet to the games?

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

23 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Okay this had been a very amusing thread.

Only on Surly are you going to see someone respond with, "I work in Kazakhstan." and have zero reponses question that reality.

I'm down for some of the leg archery and who doesn't love the burning zombie chase.

That said this hipster clown above with a horse fettish isn't fooling anyone.

Why is working in Kazakhstan questionable?  It has a very big oil and gas industry and there are a few of us that work in said industry.

[Johnny Chimpo 478]

Yessir. I am working over there on a 28/28 rotational gig. It’s pretty legit, I haven’t been back to the states since May. This time off I’ll  be one week in Europe then three weeks in Australia / New Zealand. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

21 minutes ago, Johnny Chimpo said:

Yessir. I am working over there on a 28/28 rotational gig. It’s pretty legit, I haven’t been back to the states since May. This time off I’ll  be one week in Europe then three weeks in Australia / New Zealand. 

New Zealand can be cold AF this time of year depending on which part you are going to.

[Johnny Chimpo 478]

21 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

New Zealand can be cold AF this time of year depending on which part you are going to.

Yea for sure. I’m planning on driving around south isle for two weeks, gonna get some snowboarding in and check out some of the other outdoors stuff. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

I know at least 10 people working there.  Actually, I just asked a question and provided a reason why someone working in Kazakhstan is not some sort of unbelievable fairy tale.

Defensive, much?

Edited August 15, 2018 by Fudge Nuggets

[Fudge Nuggets 19,190]

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

You must know a lot of Chinese people

 

https://en.tengrinews.kz/markets/China-leads-by-number-of-foreign-workers-in-Kazakhstan-258997/

And defensive, not at all, you're the one who came in wanting to start an argument in regards to a simple observation I made that someone stating, I work in Kazakhstan is odd and unexpected.

It is, statistically speaking.

That is a fact. 

You knowning lots of Chinese workers in Kazakhstan is too.

Turning a funny thread into a fucking debate about the number of US workers in a relatively obsure country. Surly gonna Surly. 

None of them are Chinese and you are the one arguing.  For fucks sake who said anything about worker nationality?  Oh yeah... you.

Fuck off.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,065]

You're arguing too, Borat.