Criticize your favorite movies

[Gene Parmesan 3,947]

I don't really think Ace Ventura could dedicate enough time with his detective's schedule to properly care for all the animals he had.  I would have liked to have seen a scene of him trying to find good homes for them.

[Macanudo 12,643]

My beef with Indy and U-Boat...  

1.  Why transport it on a U-Boat?  They aren't exactly cargo friendly.   The one reason I can see for it was that it made for good cinematography.   The scene coming into the U-Boat pen is impressive.   But outside of France and Germany I don't think anyone in the Med (Italy and Greece specifically) had a base like that.

2.  The U-Boat wouldn't needed to submerge for the trip.   It would have made better speed up top versus submerged (roughly 17 knots versus 7.)  That's a drastic difference plus this wasn't war time, no one outside of the Germans and Indy knew they had the Ark and there was no danger of encountering hostile warships because the Germans WEREN'T at freaking war.

[Upgrayedd 5,723]

In Airplane!, every external shot of the plane comes with sound that is from a propeller aircraft when the aircraft is actually a jet.

[locodos 5,078]

1 minute ago, Upgrayedd said:

In Airplane!, every external shot of the plane comes with sound that is from a propeller aircraft when the aircraft is actually a jet.

[mdmost 42,137]

55 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

My beef with Indy and U-Boat...  

1.  Why transport it on a U-Boat?  They aren't exactly cargo friendly.   The one reason I can see for it was that it made for good cinematography.   The scene coming into the U-Boat pen is impressive.   But outside of France and Germany I don't think anyone in the Med (Italy and Greece specifically) had a base like that.

2.  The U-Boat wouldn't needed to submerge for the trip.   It would have made better speed up top versus submerged (roughly 17 knots versus 7.)  That's a drastic difference plus this wasn't war time, no one outside of the Germans and Indy knew they had the Ark and there was no danger of encountering hostile warships because the Germans WEREN'T at freaking war.

U-Boat was sent to intercept the freighter Salah had booked. I'd imagine for secrecy so the English and Americans wouldn't find out if the Nazis were successful at retrieving the Ark. It was at periscope depth until they reached the island. I'd imagine they were also trying to keep the base a secret since it was in the Mediterranean Sea. The base is a real Nazi base in France that was also used for Das Boot. 

[Macanudo 12,643]

57 minutes ago, mdmost said:

U-Boat was sent to intercept the freighter Salah had booked. I'd imagine for secrecy so the English and Americans wouldn't find out if the Nazis were successful at retrieving the Ark. It was at periscope depth until they reached the island. I'd imagine they were also trying to keep the base a secret since it was in the Mediterranean Sea. The base is a real Nazi base in France that was also used for Das Boot. 

Yes, I knew where the real base was/is.  And some of that makes snese but still...

[Beau Vine 53,595]

On 10/26/2024 at 9:18 AM, Texzilla58 said:

Sonny’s wife was the hottest woman in the movie 

Julie Gregg was yummy.

[Underdog 27,940]

3 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:

I don't really think Ace Ventura could dedicate enough time with his detective's schedule to properly care for all the animals he had.  I would have liked to have seen a scene of him trying to find good homes for them.

Plot twist: Ace actually stole those "pets" to drum up business for easy rewards. 

[Gene Parmesan 3,947]

15 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Plot twist: Ace actually stole those "pets" to drum up business for easy rewards. 

[rage-a-holic 4,237]

3 hours ago, Macanudo said:

My beef with Indy and U-Boat...  

1.  Why transport it on a U-Boat?  They aren't exactly cargo friendly.   The one reason I can see for it was that it made for good cinematography.   The scene coming into the U-Boat pen is impressive.   But outside of France and Germany I don't think anyone in the Med (Italy and Greece specifically) had a base like that.

I assume you know this, but some people forget that the original intent was to fly the Ark to Germany in a plane....but Indy/Marion blew it up.

[Beau Vine 53,595]

The young man whom Emma was sodomizing honestly seemed to be enjoying it far too much to be considered a slave.

[Carl Spackler 3,454]

On 10/26/2024 at 12:00 AM, elfenix said:

somehow indy doesn't drown when they submerge the uboat

The only possible explanation is that it didn't submerge.  We never specifically see the vessel submerge in the movie.  U-boats traveled faster and far more efficiently on the surface than submerged, so if there was no need to submerge, it wouldn't have done so.  

[billfromlaketravis 11,263]

Also I don’t believe Allen’s fingerprints match then Zodiac’s. He’s very problematic from a physical evidence standpoint. 

[elfenix 33,996]

1 minute ago, Carl Spackler said:

The only possible explanation is that it didn't submerge.  We never specifically see the vessel submerge in the movie.  U-boats traveled faster and far more efficiently on the surface than submerged, so if there was no need to submerge, it wouldn't have done so.  

The officer gave the command to submerge, but uboats of that period didn't have snorkels so wouldn't have been underwater and underway that long. Still, holding onto a periscope for hours at 8 knots would have been difficult. Then he'd have to be up top with no one noticing for hours while it cruised at the surface 500+ miles from the central med to the cyclades.

[TwiceHorn 30,708]

On 10/25/2024 at 10:44 PM, veritas aequitas said:

Josey Wales and Philo Beddoe could have done better than Sondra Locke

So could Clint Eastwood.

Wait  . . . .

[rage-a-holic 4,237]

50 minutes ago, elfenix said:

The officer gave the command to submerge, but uboats of that period didn't have snorkels so wouldn't have been underwater and underway that long. Still, holding onto a periscope for hours at 8 knots would have been difficult. Then he'd have to be up top with no one noticing for hours while it cruised at the surface 500+ miles from the central med to the cyclades.

Yes, this was pure idiocy. Uboats that cruised semi-submerged kept watch officers on deck as lookouts and they certainly wouldn't have missed Indy, not like there's anywhere to hide. And if for some reason they didn't bother posting lookouts, Indy would have died from hypothermia.

[Carl Spackler 3,454]

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

The officer gave the command to submerge, but uboats of that period didn't have snorkels so wouldn't have been underwater and underway that long. Still, holding onto a periscope for hours at 8 knots would have been difficult. Then he'd have to be up top with no one noticing for hours while it cruised at the surface 500+ miles from the central med to the cyclades.

Yep, command was given but boat never actually submerges on camera.   In the movie, there's a brief scene as the boat is pulling in to its destination and then a shot of Indy hiding behind some crates, soaking wet.

Apparently there's a deleted scene from the movie that explains that while the boat did submerge, it was only barely below the water surface with its periscope up.  Indy supposedly lashes himself to the periscope with his whip and hangs on . . . for hours.  [Yeah, *that's* realistic.] 

https://www.cbr.com/indiana-jones-raiders-of-the-lost-ark-deleted-scene-submarine-controversy/#:~:text=The novelization by Campbell Black,the water the whole time.

Edited Sunday at 11:55 PM by Carl Spackler

[Ignatius 3,978]

On 10/26/2024 at 11:28 AM, Texzilla58 said:

Godfather:  Luca Brazzi is presented as a bumbling strongman not much different than Mongo in Blazing Saddles.  In the book he is a terrifying calculating killer .  

Didn’t he burn his infant alive in the book?

[billfromlaketravis 11,263]

7 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

Didn’t he burn his infant alive in the book?

Yup.

[miguelito 11,045]

10 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

In Airplane!, every external shot of the plane comes with sound that is from a propeller aircraft when the aircraft is actually a jet.

Surely you can't be serious. 

[Upgrayedd 5,723]

42 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Surely you can't be serious. 

I am; and don’t call me Shirley.

[yoladu 4,040]

20 hours ago, miguelito said:

Surely you can't be serious. 

 

19 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

I am; and don’t call me Shirley.

[mchookem 15,407]

i keep trying to think of a criticism but i'm honestly having a hard time. pretty much a perfect movie. 

i guess...maybe it would have been cooler if the visual of 'victim in field' was more ambiguous and not very obviously an old tall white guy and not the Artist Formerly Known As Prince. like if he'd played coy about it for years. 

Edited Tuesday at 04:10 AM by mchookem

[MinerProphet 69]

While the opening scene was amazing cinematography and story-telling-by-action, very cool and edgy for it's time-- the Dark Knight bank robbery with the school busses would have been the easiest tracking down ever.

[irishtexan 11,413]

Henry, Jimmy, and Tommy probably wouldn't have hung out with Maury. And I was sad that Spider got whacked. But that's about all I got. 

[Surly Bevo 24,200]

26 minutes ago, MinerProphet said:

While the opening scene was amazing cinematography and story-telling-by-action, very cool and edgy for it's time-- the Dark Knight bank robbery with the school busses would have been the easiest tracking down ever.

Not sure I follow this one in the context of the notion that the Joker wasn't exactly trying to conceal himself.  

[Pokoloco 1,234]

If Andy Dufresne could write all the letters to get a library, why couldn't he write letters to get his case retried or at least have someone look into the Elmo Blatch info?

[MinerProphet 69]

6 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Not sure I follow this one in the context of the notion that the Joker wasn't exactly trying to conceal himself.  

But what I'm saying is, cops would have swarmed him and apprehended in Act 1.

[Da Fino 2,652]

20 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

If Andy Dufresne could write all the letters to get a library, why couldn't he write letters to get his case retried or at least have someone look into the Elmo Blatch info?

Also, how did he put the poster up from the inside of the hole? 

[Felix 605]

57 minutes ago, Da Fino said:

Also, how did he put the poster up from the inside of the hole? 

Just in case this is serious, the poster was only attached at the top so he could slip under it.

[MrBig 5,096]

In Back to the Future Doc could have changed the car to run on something other than gasoline if he had the foresight to change the time circuits from needing plutonium like in the first movie. 

[rage-a-holic 4,237]

11 minutes ago, MrBig said:

In Back to the Future Doc could have changed the car to run on something other than gasoline if he had the foresight to change the time circuits from needing plutonium like in the first movie. 

It's a really stupid consistency error. The DeLorean is flying in BTTF2 via hover/anti-gravity tech and has a Mr Fusion device on it. Are we supposed to believe the anti-gravity system is powered by a gasoline based ICE?

[Da Fino 2,652]

1 hour ago, Felix said:

Just in case this is serious, the poster was only attached at the top so he could slip under it.

How could I be so obtuse? Thanks. 

[McCroskey 1,481]

IRL, Jill Masterson would absolutely have lived if painted gold.  Thus would have circumvented her sister dying too trying to avenge her death.

[smuggs 9,304]

1 hour ago, MrBig said:

In Back to the Future Doc could have changed the car to run on something other than gasoline if he had the foresight to change the time circuits from needing plutonium like in the first movie. 

I was always annoyed that when adjusting the time coordinates to warn Doc of his impending death, Marty feels that "10 minutes oughta do it."

Motherfucker, give yourself a few hours and maybe hit Orange Julius before the mall closes.

[Native Horn 3,462]

On 10/26/2024 at 10:28 AM, Texzilla58 said:

Dazed and confused.  Where’s the nudity?

Could actually be a standalone thread.  Order of who we wanna see?  Wait, nevermind, too young.  Dammit!

[McCroskey 1,481]

I was always annoyed that when adjusting the time coordinates to warn Doc of his impending death, Marty feels that "10 minutes oughta do it."
Motherfucker, give yourself a few hours and maybe hit Orange Julius before the mall closes.

Worst to me on this series is Marty and Jennifer going to the future but their future selves are somehow there, too.

Had they each gone forward 30 years, they should have simply arrived to missing person reports on themselves or featured in an Unsolved Mysteries episode playing on the TV in the cafe. Doc should have just come back to 1985 and said, there’s a problem with your kids, Marty, straighten the fuck up.

[McCroskey 1,481]

There's no fucking way Nathan Jessup gives Kaffey his payoff.
Zero chance.

This is a good one. The real version goes something like:


“You want answers?”

“I think I’m entitled.”

“You WANT answers?”

“I WANT THE TRUTH.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Caffey arrested and court martialed.

/end scene

[Parliament 13,978]

Sicario.  Jasper Sitwell is unloading a buncha drugs from his cop car when Alejandro walks out of the tunnel.  Why didn’t you get in your car and bail the when you heard the first gunshot? 

[Deej 76,052]

The original Halloween takes place in Illinois, but all the cars have California plates. 

[BabaYaga 15,108]

19 hours ago, Parliament said:

Sicario.  Jasper Sitwell is unloading a buncha drugs from his cop car when Alejandro walks out of the tunnel.  Why didn’t you get in your car and bail the when you heard the first gunshot? 

This part made me crazy.  Bolt's open.  Gun no go pew-pew.  It's still open when he exits the car and starts shooting.  The red dot on the rifle also doesn't have any magnification.  It's just a red dot, so what is he looking through it for?

[MrBig 5,096]

On 10/29/2024 at 6:01 PM, McCroskey said:

Doc should have just come back to 1985 and said, there’s a problem with your kids, Marty, straighten the fuck up.

I don’t get why Doc couldn’t just tell Marty about the Rolls Royce accident if he was ok with interfering in the Marty Jr and Griff thing to change the future.