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The Internal Monologue


Hank Kingsley

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8 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

I feel like I can remember every face I've interacted with. But I have to be incredibly intentional to remember someone's name, even if they just introduced themselves one minute prior. Way too much going on in my head and a horrible habit I've had trouble kicking.  

 

This is me. I can meet someone and talk to them for 15 minutes and 3 seconds later forget their name forever. But if I see them again 20 years later I'll be like "hey I remember you from that party in Dobie back in 2001." 

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1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I'm the opposite of this, as well.  I have certain events I can remember from my childhood.  Some of them special, some bad but there are huge swaths of my life I have no memory of.  

I can only vaguely recall some of my birthdays growing up...maybe 5 or 6, and I know my parents always made a pretty big deal over our birthdays but I just can't remember them.  The same with all the sports I played. I probably played in over 70 football games and a similar number of motor-cross races growing up but have very few specific memories of the games or races. 

Many times when friends or family bring up things I don't remember, I can pull them back but there are many times someone will talk about times gone by and it's like I wasn't there. 

 

Quote

 I probably played in over 70 football games

Well, this might be the source of your memory problem.

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As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3. I even have a specific memory of a doctor treating my ear infection that made me scream bloody murder, and I found out later that I was 18 months old when that happened. My daughter is 14 and she can't remember anything from before like 3rd grade. We lived in a house for 2 years while she was in 1st and 2nd grade and she has zero memories from it. My wife is like her too, basically no memories from childhood. 

My inner monologue is nonstop. If I didn't take gummies or sleeping pills I would probably only sleep like 1-2 hours a night. Probably why I drank nonstop for the first 15 years of my adult life. 

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6 hours ago, F250 said:

I have a friend that I met 15 years ago and I didn't know his name for the first year we knew each other. When we met I didn't think much of him and didn't bother to remember his name. To be fair it was a slow developing friendship.

After some time we started to hang out and I realized it would be a bad idea to ask his name. When I met his wife I kept listening to hear what she called him but she never used his name. The first time I called him by his name I didn't say it with confidence.

It was like the Mulva episode of Seinfeld.

 

Hits close to home, as I'm driving through Dolores, Colorado tomorrow.

I always had a good memory but was just really shit with names and faces.  I developed a system at parties after I had a few by remembering what someone was wearing.  Which works great for that night but leads to embarrassing incidents when you see them next time and they greet you like a long lost friend.

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44 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3. I even have a specific memory of a doctor treating my ear infection that made me scream bloody murder, and I found out later that I was 18 months old when that happened. My daughter is 14 and she can't remember anything from before like 3rd grade. We lived in a house for 2 years while she was in 1st and 2nd grade and she has zero memories from it. My wife is like her too, basically no memories from childhood. 

My inner monologue is nonstop. If I didn't take gummies or sleeping pills I would probably only sleep like 1-2 hours a night. Probably why I drank nonstop for the first 15 years of my adult life. 

My eldest can't remember shit either. We lived in Stone Oak in SA right when he started Kindergarten before moving to Spring Branch. He swears he has no memory of us living there or moving. His younger brother can describe our previous house, neighbors and holidays before we moved.

A few years ago during Christmas when my oldest said he has absolutely no memory of our previous home I seriously considered telling him to see a neurologist.

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17 minutes ago, F250 said:

My eldest can't remember shit either. We lived in Stone Oak in SA right when he started Kindergarten before moving to Spring Branch. He swears he has no memory of us living there or moving. His younger brother can describe our previous house, neighbors and holidays before we moved.

A few years ago during Christmas when my oldest said he has absolutely no memory of our previous home I seriously considered telling him to see a neurologist.

My 5yo son can describe, in detail, vacations we went on when he was 2. He's basically my clone, which is good I guess, because I can help him navigate it. Unfortunately for him he'll probably turn from cute to ugly when puberty hits. 

Edited by NorthLoop
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11 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

I feel like I can remember every face I've interacted with. But I have to be incredibly intentional to remember someone's name, even if they just introduced themselves one minute prior. Way too much going on in my head and a horrible habit I've had trouble kicking.  

 

A mnemonic trick I've used to help remember people's names when first being introduced to them is asking them to spell it. Especially if it's a name that has multiple common spellings. Bob is a tough one, for example. But Shawn/Sean, Kathy/Cathy, etc. are good ones. It's amazing how important the spelling of one's name can be to people, especially when it has multiple spellings. 

The bad side of it is if you have some kind of extended conversation about the spelling of their name, and then 10 minutes later you still can't remember it. 

I also will often have extended conversations about people's names. Not always, but asking about their name's origins, if they know of any. Also, if they have a name with multiple common spellings, after they tell me which way their name is spelled, I regularly respond with, "the way it's supposed to be spelled."

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4 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I'm the opposite of this, as well.  I have certain events I can remember from my childhood.  Some of them special, some bad but there are huge swaths of my life I have no memory of.  

I can only vaguely recall some of my birthdays growing up...maybe 5 or 6, and I know my parents always made a pretty big deal over our birthdays but I just can't remember them.  The same with all the sports I played. I probably played in over 70 football games and a similar number of motor-cross races growing up but have very few specific memories of the games or races. 

Many times when friends or family bring up things I don't remember, I can pull them back but there are many times someone will talk about times gone by and it's like I wasn't there. 

 

there are lots of stupid things I can remember that I didn’t try to memorize (nerd stuff mostly), but in the same way with memories of my life. I hate it. My wife and most people I know can recall such and such birthday when they were 4 or something, but I struggle. Makes me feel like im losing my life as I get farther away. My mom can remind me of things that happened 20-30 years ago, but I’m somewhat terrified that I’ll just lose my childhood when she passes 

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2 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3.

Same here. Lots of memories from when I was knee-high. If I had a language test coming up, not only would I have endless wandering dreams meeting people and talking to them, but we'd be speaking French, or whatever was on the test, to the amusement of my roommates.

As far as I know, I only have one glaring memory gap-- lived in Western NC and drove all around that area for about 5 years. Usually I have a pretty good map in my head, but when I recently revisited the area (pre-hurricane), sometimes it was as if Id never been there. Yeah there's new stuff, but I barely recognized the things that hadn't changed. I had been expelled by the spirits of the land.

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In the middle of a field in BFE at 2am, 20 minutes removed from a deep sleep, I can correctly choose what drugs and what dose to give someone.

If my wife says to me “hey, in three minutes I need you to turn the oven off”, there is a 10000% chance I don’t remember until whatever is in there is on fire.

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