The Internal Monologue

[NorthLoop 14180]

8 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

I feel like I can remember every face I've interacted with. But I have to be incredibly intentional to remember someone's name, even if they just introduced themselves one minute prior. Way too much going on in my head and a horrible habit I've had trouble kicking.  

 

This is me. I can meet someone and talk to them for 15 minutes and 3 seconds later forget their name forever. But if I see them again 20 years later I'll be like "hey I remember you from that party in Dobie back in 2001." 

[F250 28761]

1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I'm the opposite of this, as well.  I have certain events I can remember from my childhood.  Some of them special, some bad but there are huge swaths of my life I have no memory of.  

I can only vaguely recall some of my birthdays growing up...maybe 5 or 6, and I know my parents always made a pretty big deal over our birthdays but I just can't remember them.  The same with all the sports I played. I probably played in over 70 football games and a similar number of motor-cross races growing up but have very few specific memories of the games or races. 

Many times when friends or family bring up things I don't remember, I can pull them back but there are many times someone will talk about times gone by and it's like I wasn't there. 

 

Quote

 I probably played in over 70 football games

Well, this might be the source of your memory problem.

[NorthLoop 14180]

As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3. I even have a specific memory of a doctor treating my ear infection that made me scream bloody murder, and I found out later that I was 18 months old when that happened. My daughter is 14 and she can't remember anything from before like 3rd grade. We lived in a house for 2 years while she was in 1st and 2nd grade and she has zero memories from it. My wife is like her too, basically no memories from childhood. 

My inner monologue is nonstop. If I didn't take gummies or sleeping pills I would probably only sleep like 1-2 hours a night. Probably why I drank nonstop for the first 15 years of my adult life. 

[Not a cat 5652]

6 hours ago, F250 said:

I have a friend that I met 15 years ago and I didn't know his name for the first year we knew each other. When we met I didn't think much of him and didn't bother to remember his name. To be fair it was a slow developing friendship.

After some time we started to hang out and I realized it would be a bad idea to ask his name. When I met his wife I kept listening to hear what she called him but she never used his name. The first time I called him by his name I didn't say it with confidence.

It was like the Mulva episode of Seinfeld.

 

Hits close to home, as I'm driving through Dolores, Colorado tomorrow.

I always had a good memory but was just really shit with names and faces.  I developed a system at parties after I had a few by remembering what someone was wearing.  Which works great for that night but leads to embarrassing incidents when you see them next time and they greet you like a long lost friend.

[F250 28761]

44 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3. I even have a specific memory of a doctor treating my ear infection that made me scream bloody murder, and I found out later that I was 18 months old when that happened. My daughter is 14 and she can't remember anything from before like 3rd grade. We lived in a house for 2 years while she was in 1st and 2nd grade and she has zero memories from it. My wife is like her too, basically no memories from childhood. 

My inner monologue is nonstop. If I didn't take gummies or sleeping pills I would probably only sleep like 1-2 hours a night. Probably why I drank nonstop for the first 15 years of my adult life. 

My eldest can't remember shit either. We lived in Stone Oak in SA right when he started Kindergarten before moving to Spring Branch. He swears he has no memory of us living there or moving. His younger brother can describe our previous house, neighbors and holidays before we moved.

A few years ago during Christmas when my oldest said he has absolutely no memory of our previous home I seriously considered telling him to see a neurologist.

[NorthLoop 14180]

17 minutes ago, F250 said:

My eldest can't remember shit either. We lived in Stone Oak in SA right when he started Kindergarten before moving to Spring Branch. He swears he has no memory of us living there or moving. His younger brother can describe our previous house, neighbors and holidays before we moved.

A few years ago during Christmas when my oldest said he has absolutely no memory of our previous home I seriously considered telling him to see a neurologist.

My 5yo son can describe, in detail, vacations we went on when he was 2. He's basically my clone, which is good I guess, because I can help him navigate it. Unfortunately for him he'll probably turn from cute to ugly when puberty hits. 

Edited October 31 by NorthLoop

[SL Xpress 7513]

11 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

I feel like I can remember every face I've interacted with. But I have to be incredibly intentional to remember someone's name, even if they just introduced themselves one minute prior. Way too much going on in my head and a horrible habit I've had trouble kicking.  

 

A mnemonic trick I've used to help remember people's names when first being introduced to them is asking them to spell it. Especially if it's a name that has multiple common spellings. Bob is a tough one, for example. But Shawn/Sean, Kathy/Cathy, etc. are good ones. It's amazing how important the spelling of one's name can be to people, especially when it has multiple spellings. 

The bad side of it is if you have some kind of extended conversation about the spelling of their name, and then 10 minutes later you still can't remember it. 

I also will often have extended conversations about people's names. Not always, but asking about their name's origins, if they know of any. Also, if they have a name with multiple common spellings, after they tell me which way their name is spelled, I regularly respond with, "the way it's supposed to be spelled."

[UT_OB1 2213]

4 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I'm the opposite of this, as well.  I have certain events I can remember from my childhood.  Some of them special, some bad but there are huge swaths of my life I have no memory of.  

I can only vaguely recall some of my birthdays growing up...maybe 5 or 6, and I know my parents always made a pretty big deal over our birthdays but I just can't remember them.  The same with all the sports I played. I probably played in over 70 football games and a similar number of motor-cross races growing up but have very few specific memories of the games or races. 

Many times when friends or family bring up things I don't remember, I can pull them back but there are many times someone will talk about times gone by and it's like I wasn't there. 

 

there are lots of stupid things I can remember that I didn’t try to memorize (nerd stuff mostly), but in the same way with memories of my life. I hate it. My wife and most people I know can recall such and such birthday when they were 4 or something, but I struggle. Makes me feel like im losing my life as I get farther away. My mom can remind me of things that happened 20-30 years ago, but I’m somewhat terrified that I’ll just lose my childhood when she passes 

[RDCanecutter 26377]

2 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

As far as the long term memory thing goes - I remember specific events from when I was a toddler, like 2 or 3.

Same here. Lots of memories from when I was knee-high. If I had a language test coming up, not only would I have endless wandering dreams meeting people and talking to them, but we'd be speaking French, or whatever was on the test, to the amusement of my roommates.

As far as I know, I only have one glaring memory gap-- lived in Western NC and drove all around that area for about 5 years. Usually I have a pretty good map in my head, but when I recently revisited the area (pre-hurricane), sometimes it was as if Id never been there. Yeah there's new stuff, but I barely recognized the things that hadn't changed. I had been expelled by the spirits of the land.

[52-80 19142]

LISA NEEDS BRACES

[Herbie Hancock 7343]

In the middle of a field in BFE at 2am, 20 minutes removed from a deep sleep, I can correctly choose what drugs and what dose to give someone.

If my wife says to me “hey, in three minutes I need you to turn the oven off”, there is a 10000% chance I don’t remember until whatever is in there is on fire.

[DigglerontheHoof 21168]

8 hours ago, F250 said:

Well, this might be the source of your memory problem.

Could be.  I had a serious motorcycle crash 4 years ago where I was knocked cold and was out for at least 20 minutes (was wearing a helmet).  Between football, motor-cross and (starting in my late teens) boxing, I've probably been knocked out 6 or more times and have had my "bell rung" more times than I can recall.  

The last year my memory has gotten much worse and I get severe headaches several times/month and cannot focus on anything for shit. 

I have an appointment w/ a neurologist in a couple of weeks to try and see what's going on.

Edited October 31 by DigglerontheHoof

[Brisketexan 105044]

Could be.  I had a serious motorcycle crash 4 years ago where I was knocked cold and was out for at least 20 minutes (was wearing a helmet).  Between football, motor-cross and (starting in my late teens) boxing, I've probably been knocked out 6 or more times and have had my "bell rung" more times than I can recall.  
The last year my memory has gotten much worse and I get severe headaches several times/month and cannot focus on anything for shit. 
I have an appointment w/ a neurologist in a couple of weeks to try and see what's going on.

Hope you put a reminder on your calendar for that appointment, so you don’t forget it.

[Incredulity 11644]

5 hours ago, 52-80 said:

LISA NEEDS BRACES

take the keg of beer

[ABSR 5308]

19 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

I feel like such a shitbag because it can come off as disrespectful. 

One time I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a while, didn't remember their name, and they called me out on it. I apologized and off the cuff said "Your face is who you are, your name was just something given to you." I think they took it as a compliment, which was the intention. 

 

I remember stories but struggle mightily with names.  I have read books about remembering names and tried to use the methodologies they talk about, but just can't make it work.  However, when I meet someone I will later remember all the details they discussed about their life, job, family etc...but name....nope.

Also the "Inner Monologue" described in the original video does not really do mine justice.   I don't have ADHD, and I can be very focused on task or actions or projects.  But for me when I pull back from a task oriented work my mind just goes.  I argue (internally) different sides of an argument or question, or work to defend a position.  If not that then I make up stories or comedy routines or anything.  For dreams, I can't remember the last dream I had.  I have had some, but I just don't wake up and remember them. 

I also find myself to be very good company.

[Hank Kingsley 20903]

2 minutes ago, ABSR said:

I remember stories but struggle mightily with names.  I have read books about remembering names and tried to use the methodologies they talk about, but just can't make it work.  However, when I meet someone I will later remember all the details they discussed about their life, job, family etc...but name....nope.

Also the "Inner Monologue" described in the original video does not really do mine justice.   I don't have ADHD, and I can be very focused on task or actions or projects.  But for me when I pull back from a task oriented work my mind just goes.  I argue (internally) different sides of an argument or question, or work to defend a position.  If not that then I make up stories or comedy routines or anything.  For dreams, I can't remember the last dream I had.  I have had some, but I just don't wake up and remember them. 

I also find myself to be very good company.

Same. I'd have to write down my dreams immediately after waking up in order to remember them. 5 minutes later they're completely gone.  

 

 

[Cap33 384]

I really had no idea that some people have no internal monologue. I'm genuinely fascinated the more I think about this because I can't turn mine off. Also, I read a ton and can't even process how one reads without hearing it in your head. Thanks for sharing.

As for memory, I remember just about everyone I meet -- faces, names, where we met, what we were doing, etc. I've had to learn that when I "meet" someone later I can't just blurt out, "Oh we met back in college. You were roommates with so-and-so, and we had Spanish together." It really freaks people out. So now I just say, "you look familiar, have we met before?" or I just play it off entirely. 

 

Edited October 31 by Cap33
spelling

[Iceman 2690]

Places.

Basically if I go there once, I know how to get there. I seriously don't get the dependency upon navi aps.  I know people who use them locally, and I get that for traffic flow; but they need the mofo to get to where they are going.

[F250 28761]

19 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Basically if I go there once, I know how to get there. I seriously don't get the dependency upon navi aps.  I know people who use them locally, and I get that for traffic flow; but they need the mofo to get to where they are going.

Well, they are helpful if you have never been to a particular location before.

Maps, what's the point?

[TwiceHorn 31435]

For nav apps, I really like to view the route, preferably in its entirety, more than rely on turn-by-turn directions.  And by in its entirety, I mean a map showing the point of origin and destination.

[Brisketexan 105044]

For nav apps, I really like to view the route, preferably in its entirety, more than rely on turn-by-turn directions.  And by in its entirety, I mean a map showing the point of origin and destination.

FUCKING THIS.
God, I hate it when I ask my wife to map a route. She goes right to the “turn by turn.” No. Show me the route. The whole route. Cool, I’ve seen it. Now I’ll drive it. I MAY ask you for an exit number or a detail like that, but that’s about it.
Turn-by-turn tells me where I’m going next. It doesn’t tell me where I’m going.

[F250 28761]

21 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

For nav apps, I really like to view the route, preferably in its entirety, more than rely on turn-by-turn directions.  And by in its entirety, I mean a map showing the point of origin and destination.

To me this depends on where I am driving. Out of state in a city I've never been to then I prefer a turn by turn.

In the city in SATX or ATX then a general route will suffice.

Several weeks ago my daughter wanted to be dropped off at a friend's house "located" south of Fischer and near the lake. We are on the opposite side of the lake.

I asked for an address because I don't like driving around like a lost jackass and plugged it into the map in my truck.

Me looking at the directions.

 

[Iceman 2690]

7 hours ago, F250 said:

Well, they are helpful if you have never been to a particular location before.

Maps, what's the point?

Dependency.  Like repeatedly on a vacation on the 5th day in an area you've already been in.

Or in my business, needing an ap after you've been to an account multiple times.

I'm just like, "Motherfucker, did you not pay attention the last 8 times you drove there?"

Edited November 1 by Iceman

[TwiceHorn 31435]

8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

FUCKING THIS.
God, I hate it when I ask my wife to map a route. She goes right to the “turn by turn.” No. Show me the route. The whole route. Cool, I’ve seen it. Now I’ll drive it. I MAY ask you for an exit number or a detail like that, but that’s about it.
Turn-by-turn tells me where I’m going next. It doesn’t tell me where I’m going.

And if things go wonky on turn-by-turn, as in road construction, you can be well and truly fucked.  Real-time data has mostly solved that, but not completely.  Also, I have temporarily lost connections in such a way that nav doesn't seem to know where I am on the route and delivers erroneous instructions that I only know to ignore because I have examined the route in total ("Rerouting" "Rerouting").

I also use nav apps to evaluate traffic before embarking on a familiar journey, so I can hopefully choose the fastest or at least least congested route.  But on multiple occasions, I have been well and truly foiled by changing conditions.

More on topic, I have an internal dialog that can be pretty pessimistic or negative, especially when it comes to self-evaluation.  I have to Stuart Smalley it from time to time.  I am not synesthetic nor do I have an eidetic/photographic memory, but it's close and relies a lot on visual cues.  Example, I have always been an excellent speller.  Part of it is, if I have seen a word, I remember how to spell it.  But I'm also pretty good at phonetic spelling.  I remember people's names that I have met only in passing, which often serves to embarrass them because they don't remember my name or even me at all.

 

Edited November 1 by TwiceHorn

[NorthLoop 14180]

4 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

Example, I have always been an excellent speller.  Part of it is, if I have seen a word, I remember how to spell it.  But I'm also pretty good at phonetic spelling.  

 

[Hank Kingsley 20903]

Reading more about this, and a common observation from people without an internal monologue is they thought it was just a movie trope when characters internally narrate via voiceovers. 

My mind continues to be blown. 

 

 

 

[Iceman 2690]

My internal dialogue is extremely profane. 

[CHIEF 5075]

I can't imagine not having an internal monologue, I would think the people that don't have one would have almost no friends, or a spouse. I can't imagine saying out loud your every thought, you would be extremely offensive.

BUT, the most truly remarkable thing I have heard about is the ten people that have been diagnosed with the same condition as Marilu Henner, they can remember every day of their life. You can bring up a date that is decades old, they can tell you what day it was, and exactly what they did on that day.

CHIEF

[General Specific 3252]

Same. I'd have to write down my dreams immediately after waking up in order to remember them. 5 minutes later they're completely gone.  
 
 

Dreams? Depends, average everyday stuff, sure, write it down or it’s gone. Some are more impactful, and I don’t need to write it down, as it stays with me for days or longer.

Where does deja vu come in? Dream it, then experience it? It’s not perfect, but damn, that feeling I have been here/done this before!

[Bateshorn 9927]

Imagine not being told you shouldn’t occasionally vocalize this internal monologue, or have it quietly under your breath, until a serious significant other finally points out you talk to yourself. 
 

Welcome to being an only child. 

[NorthLoop 14180]

I have a dashcam, and I talk to myself out loud all the time in the car. My biggest fear driving is not dying in a wreck, it's my family listening to the 15 minutes of dashcam before the wreck. 

[General Specific 3252]

Imagine not being told you shouldn’t occasionally vocalize this internal monologue, or have it quietly under your breath, until a serious significant other finally points out you talk to yourself. 
 
Welcome to being an only child. 

Hit your thumb with a hammer. We all talk to ourselves, out loud, for everyone to hear!