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Official Bitch about your Family Thread 2024: Holiday Edition

usmc0331horn

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Parliament

Parliament 14343

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, utee94 said:

Love this thread every year, just remembered to check in on it.

I never have anything to contribute because my parents and inlaws are awesome and so is the entire extended family.  But I do enjoy reading all of your horror stories and laughing at all of you less fortunate folks! :)

 

 

If your family has no black sheep, it means YOU are the black sheep.

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dcbc

dcbc 14538

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jerry Callo said:

Much like @dcbc we host and I take on the lion's share of cooking.  Last week, the in-laws said that they'd bring dessert.  I had my wife send a list of Thanksgiving food items in case anyone wanted to bring a few of the items we aren't preparing.  Pecan pie and pumpkin pie are on the list - I'll be damned if I am leaving dessert up in the air for the in-laws to get right.  Bring whatever dessert you want, but I'm not learning on Thursday that you've decided on an acceptable substitute for pecan and pumpkin pie.

I'm happy to hand off the cooking duties if the person offering is certain to bring a reputable A-game.  Thanksgiving basically is the Super Bowl of cooking, and there's nothing worse than a middling Thanksgiving meal.

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dcbc

dcbc 14538

Posted
Posted (edited)
56 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

I thought that several years ago, someone on here or on Shaggy posted a tamale dressing recipe. Was that you?  
I searched and was given three pages of results but no recipes. 

https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/topic/6160-time-to-talk-dressing/?do=findComment&comment=750560

Edited by dcbc
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thunderlounge

thunderlounge 7957

Posted
Posted (edited)

It's no joke:

 

Ingredients

-2 tablespoons butter, divided
-1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
-2 cloves garlic, minced
-4 cups crumbled cornbread (1/2 of a baked 10-inch skillet)
-1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
-1/2 teaspoon dried sage
-1/4 cup chopped cilantro
-3 jalapeños, seeded and diced
-1 cup frozen corn kernels
-4 ounces pepper Jack, shredded (1 cup)
-6 beef, pork, or chicken tamales, chopped
-2 cups turkey or chicken broth
-Salt
-Black pepper

 

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350° F.

In a large cast-iron skillet, melt the butter on medium-low heat. Add the onions to the skillet and cook until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 30 more seconds.

Once cooked, remove the skillet from the heat and transfer the cooked onions and garlic to a large bowl. Add to the large bowl the crumbled cornbread, cumin, sage, cilantro, corn kernels, diced jalapeños and pepper Jack cheese. Stir until well combined. Gently stir in the chopped tamales, and return the dressing to the skillet. (Alternatively, you can place the dressing in a greased 9×9 baking dish.)

Pour the chicken broth over the dressing and gently stir to combine. Adjust seasonings and add salt and pepper to taste. Cover the skillet with foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for 15 more minutes or until top is lightly browned and the edges are crisp.

 

ETA: @Kennythetiger

Edited by thunderlounge
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hookemATL

hookemATL 11931

Posted
Posted

Smaller gathering at the farm this year. No drama ever (sorry to disappoint).
 

I will check on my deer setup, drink Bushmills, take my girls for a hike, and generally just relax with people I love. Food will be wonderful, and my mom will set aside a pipe with a fresh bowl to help set the mood.  If things get crazy, my pops will bust out his vinyl and I’ll sit on the porch and listen to Townes. 

my favorite holiday. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23585

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Posted

Yeah, I'm currently on a flight to Boston to spend a few days at my sister's. I think we have 8 for dinner, but all normal people who get along and will act like normal people.

The only complaint I really have is nobody else really gives a shit about football, but nobody objects if I throw it on. Good food and drink, and I think there's still a few edibles squirreled away from a previous trip up there. Drama free so I live vicariously through this thread 

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12506

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Posted

Gonna be interesting this year, potentially.

Failure to Launch Stoner BIL upped his threats of self harm to the point of being committed this summer.  While it seemed like he started to get on a better track after getting out, he's falling back into his loathing and self pity.  Most of it revolves his belief that he's a friendless loser, which while true, is entirely of his own doing.  He still complains about getting made fun of in high school (he's 33) despite having been a college athlete and a guy that women generally find good looking (until they talk to him and his negativity is an immediate turn off).  We're hosting the in-laws and Friday and he's not coming with, which is just fine by me.  Having to be around his mopey bitching just takes all the life out of a room.  I just hope for my wife and in-laws' sake that he doesn't do anything drastic in the next month (I doubt he will).

Went to my brother's place in St Paul on Sunday (for my mom's side) and going to my old man's tomorrow.  I doubt either one of those will create drama, but my 9 year old nephew is almost always good for a few one liners.  He's starting to get openly horny and my brother has no clue how to address it.  We grew up German Catholic, so anything like that was snuffed out with swift and severe punishment for generations.  My SIL is far more of a gentle parent than mine or (any previous generations were).  So I wouldn't put it past him to reference having a boner at the dinner table.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12506

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Openly Horny 9 YO is a damn strong username for Surly. Who's gonna claim it as their next sock?

Last year he said he was just yelling "BOOBS" at the end of sentences.  It was great entertainment.

For me anyways.  I could see my brother's few remaining hairs falling out of his scalp in real time.

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21964

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Last night at the ranch was just me, my daughter, my 94 year old mom, and my dogs so it was pleasant.  That all ended this morning when my MAGAT older sister came up.  I’ve already been subjected to rants about how the only President worse than Carter was Biden.  She also made fun of my daughter liking Taylor Swift because if she wasn’t so liberal she could get a man and wouldn’t have to only sing about her break ups.  Also had to listen to rant about Talylor Swift being a bitch for telling my sister that she can’t drive an SUV while she flies around in a private jet.  I’m not sure where the fuck that one came from.  I’m getting reading to take my daughter into town to go to WalMart so we can be around less unpleasant people.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9483

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Gonna be interesting this year, potentially.

Failure to Launch Stoner BIL upped his threats of self harm to the point of being committed this summer.  While it seemed like he started to get on a better track after getting out, he's falling back into his loathing and self pity.  Most of it revolves his belief that he's a friendless loser, which while true, is entirely of his own doing.  He still complains about getting made fun of in high school (he's 33) despite having been a college athlete and a guy that women generally find good looking (until they talk to him and his negativity is an immediate turn off).  We're hosting the in-laws and Friday and he's not coming with, which is just fine by me.  Having to be around his mopey bitching just takes all the life out of a room.  I just hope for my wife and in-laws' sake that he doesn't do anything drastic in the next month (I doubt he will).

Went to my brother's place in St Paul on Sunday (for my mom's side) and going to my old man's tomorrow.  I doubt either one of those will create drama, but my 9 year old nephew is almost always good for a few one liners.  He's starting to get openly horny and my brother has no clue how to address it.  We grew up German Catholic, so anything like that was snuffed out with swift and severe punishment for generations.  My SIL is far more of a gentle parent than mine or (any previous generations were).  So I wouldn't put it past him to reference having a boner at the dinner table.

We’ve heard about Nephew before, haven’t we?  I will be thinking about you on Saturday- I am really looking forward to sitting on my ass and flipping between Texas/aTm and KSU/ISU. 

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12506

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

We’ve heard about Nephew before, haven’t we?  I will be thinking about you on Saturday- I am really looking forward to sitting on my ass and flipping between Texas/aTm and KSU/ISU. 

Yeah, he’s been appearing in permutations of this thread since he was 4 or 5.  Got plenty of his uncle’s personality.

I’m really nervous about Saturday.  Obviously we have a lot more to play for.  Obviously that don’t make a shit.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9483

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Yeah, he’s been appearing in permutations of this thread since he was 4 or 5.  Got plenty of his uncle’s personality.

I’m really nervous about Saturday.  Obviously we have a lot more to play for.  Obviously that don’t make a shit.

Obviously I hope we play better than we did against Arizona State. 

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4th&Five

4th&Five 41603

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2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Last night at the ranch was just me, my daughter, my 94 year old mom, and my dogs so it was pleasant.  That all ended this morning when my MAGAT older sister came up.  I’ve already been subjected to rants about how the only President worse than Carter was Biden.  She also made fun of my daughter liking Taylor Swift because if she wasn’t so liberal she could get a man and wouldn’t have to only sing about her break ups.  Also had to listen to rant about Talylor Swift being a bitch for telling my sister that she can’t drive an SUV while she flies around in a private jet.  I’m not sure where the fuck that one came from.  I’m getting reading to take my daughter into town to go to WalMart so we can be around less unpleasant people.

Robin Williams Thats The Good Stuff GIF

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2122

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Last year he said he was just yelling "BOOBS" at the end of sentences.  It was great entertainment.

For me anyways.  I could see my brother's few remaining hairs falling out of his scalp in real time.

 Boobs is a fun word, but tits is the best word.

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Underdog

Underdog 28800

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5 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Last year he said he was just yelling "BOOBS" at the end of sentences.  It was great entertainment.

For me anyways.  I could see my brother's few remaining hairs falling out of his scalp in real time.

Video of said nephew... 

9bvyow.gif.fe50234b36cd55e0173b687b7201cdf3.gif

 

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dcbc

dcbc 14538

Posted
Posted (edited)

Well, my wife's pecan pies she baked yesterday didn't turn out.  So she made some more because she's a pro.  Meanwhile, my mashed-potato-ruining, mamaw-bread-recipe-hoarding sister is bringing festive place mats and plates, which is fine and appreciated.  But another relative later suggested that she would bring some T-giving-themed paper plates, which were left over for some church event.  When I told my wife that I wasn't eating a meal I'd worked so hard on off of paper plates, she reminded me that said-relative might throw a fit later, to which I responded

 

giphy.gif

Edited by dcbc
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T’Boo Ted Marshall

T’Boo Ted Marshall 2740

Posted
Posted
Well, my wife's pecan pies she baked yesterday didn't turn out.  So she made some more because she's a pro.  Meanwhile, my mashed-potato-ruining, mamaw-bread-recipe-hoarding sister is bringing festive place mats and plates, which is fine and appreciated.  But my step-mother-in-law later suggested that she would bring some T-giving-themed paper plates, which were left over for some church event.  When I told my wife that I wasn't eating a meal I'd worked so hard on off of paper plates, she reminded me that SMIL might throw a fit later, to which I responded
 
giphy.gif

You’re much nicer than me. My mom passed away in ‘10 after 43 years with my Dad. He remarried 7 years ago. I call her by name. No association as I do not care for her.
She does not come over for holidays which is nice.
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dcbc

dcbc 14538

Posted
Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


You’re much nicer than me. My mom passed away in ‘10 after 43 years with my Dad. He remarried 7 years ago. I call her by name. No association as I do not care for her.
She does not come over for holidays which is nice.

This is a rare interaction, and an unexpected invitation accept.  There will be a cold shoulder at some point.

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Sam Lin

Sam Lin 3564

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Zepol87 said:

Group text request “if we can have green bean casserole with fresh green beans because it’s healthier.” Gonna be fun tomorrow, I’m in charge of turkey and will be outside watching football all day. 

Reply All: No.

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tx 3 putt

tx 3 putt 77558

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Group text request “if we can have green bean casserole with fresh green beans because it’s healthier.” Gonna be fun tomorrow, I’m in charge of turkey and will be outside watching football all day. 

Leaves Group 

 

respond with this …

 

Edited by tx 3 putt
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PenelopeWitherspoon

PenelopeWitherspoon 19165

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Posted

My parents arrive today. They should be in a good mood since they are flying first. Given the shitshow at JFK terminal 4, I tried to convince them to just grab a yellow cab (avoid the rideshare shuttle), but they booked a Carmel car.  I reminded my dad that he should call Carmel and make sure they do not have to lug luggage, and can get a terminal pick up, but I am not sure if he actually did that (chances are high he forgot to do it).

Thankfully, we all agreed that we are going to a late lunch across the street from me (French bistro does a really good Thanksgiving spread), and just have a very low key night. 

We have all tacitly agreed that politics and religion are forbidden conversations while they are here.

Though, I am taking them to see Oh, Mary! (they agreed, knowing what it is about), so that is either going to be fucking hilarious or a complete disaster. In any case, I need to pre-game before that.

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PenelopeWitherspoon

PenelopeWitherspoon 19165

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Posted
32 minutes ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

My parents arrive today. They should be in a good mood since they are flying first. Given the shitshow at JFK terminal 4, I tried to convince them to just grab a yellow cab (avoid the rideshare shuttle), but they booked a Carmel car.  I reminded my dad that he should call Carmel and make sure they do not have to lug luggage, and can get a terminal pick up, but I am not sure if he actually did that (chances are high he forgot to do it).

Thankfully, we all agreed that we are going to a late lunch across the street from me (French bistro does a really good Thanksgiving spread), and just have a very low key night. 

We have all tacitly agreed that politics and religion are forbidden conversations while they are here.

Though, I am taking them to see Oh, Mary! (they agreed, knowing what it is about), so that is either going to be fucking hilarious or a complete disaster. In any case, I need to pre-game before that.

Update. They made it to the airport A-OK and the flight was boarding.  They sailed through everything (they let their Global Entry go during the pandemic, so do not get TSA Pre-check, but flying first still comes with a few perks).

My dad, miracle upon miracle, remembered to call Caramel Cars, so they are picking them up at the terminal (my mom needs a knee replacement, and refuses to get one!).

So, I should see them in about 4-5 hours.

A lot of folks here have met my folks in one way or another.  It is hard to believe that I am getting ever closer to 50 (2028) and that they are 74 and 79. 

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Parliament

Parliament 14343

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Last night at the ranch was just me, my daughter, my 94 year old mom, and my dogs so it was pleasant.  That all ended this morning when my MAGAT older sister came up.  I’ve already been subjected to rants about how the only President worse than Carter was Biden.  She also made fun of my daughter liking Taylor Swift because if she wasn’t so liberal she could get a man and wouldn’t have to only sing about her break ups.  Also had to listen to rant about Talylor Swift being a bitch for telling my sister that she can’t drive an SUV while she flies around in a private jet.  I’m not sure where the fuck that one came from.  I’m getting reading to take my daughter into town to go to WalMart so we can be around less unpleasant people.

Who owns this ranch?  You?  If so, next year make the rule: talk politics and you’ll be escorted off the property.

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Wiler77

Wiler77 1578

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

Group text request “if we can have green bean casserole with fresh green beans because it’s healthier.” Gonna be fun tomorrow, I’m in charge of turkey and will be outside watching football all day. 

Cool. Bring it yourself.

But that reminds me of this breakfast casserole my wife's family makes, which came from my wife's uncle. Eggs, cheese, breakfast sausage, bread. Combine and bake. Really fucking good.

One year at either Tgiving or Xmas her uncle is there and makes it. He's a chili cook and is constantly evolving that recipe, so I ask "anything new in your casserole these days?"  "I started putting wheat bread instead of white bread so it will be more healthy."

That got a good laugh from me.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9483

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Wiler77 said:

Cool. Bring it yourself.

But that reminds me of this breakfast casserole my wife's family makes, which came from my wife's uncle. Eggs, cheese, breakfast sausage, bread. Combine and bake. Really fucking good.

One year at either Tgiving or Xmas her uncle is there and makes it. He's a chili cook and is constantly evolving that recipe, so I ask "anything new in your casserole these days?"  "I started putting wheat bread instead of white bread so it will be more healthy."

That got a good laugh from me.

I thought of Butch and Sundance jumping off the cliff. “I can’t swim.”  

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BearSchlong

BearSchlong 8122

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Posted

I don't think he posts here but a Longhorn friend was driving his son’s car and nailed a deer near their ranch in Johnson City this morning. Car and deer didn't make it, and dad is going to be sore.

I guarantee some of y'all know this guy but our world haven't collided here, yet.

I'm on the Atchafalaya bridge right now headed to lunch.

My FIL just remarked “Jack Daniels at convenience stores is the best part about this state.”

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