Official Bitch about your Family Thread 2024: Holiday Edition

[thunderlounge 8488]

5 minutes ago, luke duke said:

My in-laws tore down their perfectly good house earlier this year, so now they’re living in the 1br barndominium while the new house is under construction. MIL still insisted on hosting Christmas. I offered to host 3 different times. No luck. So I get to spend Christmas in a barn and travel trailer. MIL will spend the whole time bitching about how small the kitchen is. I made the mistake of asking if they even had a Christmas tree. Of course the answer was no. Now my wife wants to take our tree with us. That ain’t happening.

 

 

[ztejas 44298]

Nvm

Edited Tuesday at 09:17 AM by ztejas

[ztejas 44298]

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

[Longhornstampede 3233]

Well that's the spirit of the season....

[Kennythetiger 9676]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Ztejas, you would bring a lot of humor and youthful insight to our AA thread. We would love to have you. ❤️

[ztejas 44298]

8 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Ztejas, you would bring a lot of humor and youthful insight to our AA thread. We would love to have you. ❤️

Yeah I need to make my way over there.

Thanks man. 

[thunderlounge 8488]

5 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Don’t care, saw Texas beat Clemson?

 

Sucks shit like that has to happen. 

[Longboard Horn 41446]

10 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Thread is picking up steam. Now we’re getting somewhere. 

[SHOOTER12 8890]

Dayum...

[GhostOfTomJoad 9534]

On the kick ass side, just found out that our niece & nephew are both in Austin this xmas so we're going to meet up with them at BD Riley's at Mueller tomorrow afternoon and buy them some drinks while giving them respite from their family drama. Their parents (wife's brother and his wife) divorced about 5 years ago. The kids are both out of college & in the early stages of getting on with life.

If any of you assholes are at BD Riley's tomorrow I'll be the tall, skinny white dude with a receding hairline. Should be easy to spot amongst that crowd. Come by and give me the secret surly handshake & I'll buy you a pint.

[Parliament 14635]

11 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

How do you “kind of beat” an ass?  We need some details here.

[tx 3 putt 78818]

12 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

 

he had it coming

[Iceman 2987]

1 hour ago, Parliament said:

How do you “kind of beat” an ass?  We need some details here.

This.

was it an attention getter like an open-handed slap?  Or was it a full-on rumble?

[GhostOfTomJoad 9534]

It started with a shoulder check. Followed by throwing a coke on him, as is the protocol.

[Pato del Muerto 53621]

47 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

It started with a shoulder check. Followed by throwing a coke on him, as is the protocol.

What did uncle derka do about it?

[40acredropout 2912]

5 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

On the kick ass side, just found out that our niece & nephew are both in Austin this xmas so we're going to meet up with them at BD Riley's at Mueller tomorrow afternoon and buy them some drinks while giving them respite from their family drama. Their parents (wife's brother and his wife) divorced about 5 years ago. The kids are both out of college & in the early stages of getting on with life.

If any of you assholes are at BD Riley's tomorrow I'll be the tall, skinny white dude with a receding hairline. Should be easy to spot amongst that crowd. Come by and give me the secret surly handshake & I'll buy you a pint.

Pics of niece? 

[thunderlounge 8488]

3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

What did uncle derka do about it?

Shit all over the basketball board. 

[Zepol87 9356]

19 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Miss you bro, had good times in north Dallas kicking it. 

at the gfs family tonight because you know us Mexicans do it big on Xmas eve. Well 6pm was supposed to be dinner we ate at 9pm and now the gf and family are still wrapping presents at 1115. We still have “games” and white elephant to go through. I’m enjoying bourbon and watching the green mile though so it’s ok. 

[Longboard Horn 41446]

Working in the office as always this morning. Holiday pay and a vacation day in return makes it worth it. Plus, the peace and quiet. Won't be able to see my family today since most of them don't live in the DFW area or in Texas anymore. However, a coworker has invited me over to spend Christmas with their family. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

[pearlandhorn 3356]

Where do I begin?

My wife, son and I have made the move up to Tyler. I got a junior C level job at a company up here starting the week before thanksgiving and have been up here since. My wife and son have been in Houston until this last weekend, finishing up the school semester, packing the house, and cleaning/getting it ready to be listed. Thankfully, my wife knocked it out of the park and the house is ready to be listed. I’ve been living with my parents for the last 6 weeks. It will be nice though as my dad was just diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Unfortunately, he’s not taking it too well and neither is my mom. She’s a basket case.

Thanksgiving went off without a hiccup. My wife and son came in for thanksgiving. My wife’s sisters stayed at their homes. 

Christmas is a whole different story. Christmas Eve, we did the whole shindig at my folks house. It went just fine. Since most of our shit is in a storage building in south Tyler, it was a gift card Christmas. My wife’s sisters showed up the 23rd. The one with the abusive ex husband has moved to Charlotte and is now shacking up with a 60 year old guy. He came with her. He’s not a bad dude at all. Just a little…off. He does nothing but computer games, board games, and goes on cruises. He’s pretty mellow and good for her though…stable.

The other sister…lol. She showed up with her two pit bull mixed dogs. Mind you, we have our dog and two cats at my in laws house because my wife and son have moved into my in laws house (10 minutes from my folks). This sister has absolutely no discipline instilled in her dogs. The shit dogs jump on everyone, growl at everything, pick on our border collie. She’s loud, obnoxious, and just a cold hearted entitled bitch. It got so bad that my mother in law told her she had to leave tonight and she’s not welcome back next year. Her boytoy (sugar daddy) came over and opened gifts, ate, and left to go visit his mom in Dallas. Their two shit dogs and the fucking sister aren’t even welcome at his mom’s house. Gifts were pretty tame this year. One thing I found absolutely hilarious is that my in laws are wanting to “even things out” amongst the daughters (3, I’m married to the youngest). They told the middle daughter that the money they’ve given her is forgiven, and they gave my wife and I each $18k (tax free gift for 2024). Cool. Yeah, the other deadbeat didn’t get shit. She still owes them close to $50k. My MIL also told me that we will be getting another check in Jan 2025 so it really will be even then. My in laws didn’t give us a bunch of shit though as all of our house is in a storage facility. The deadbeat gave us THC shit (she’s a franchise owner of some bullshit CBD store in ATL) even though she knows I’m drug tested for my job and we have an 8 year old…oh, she’s been doing this for 6 years and hasn’t made a fucking red cent. My FIL and her sugardaddy are feeding her money (FIL not so much anymore).

Anywho, after an argument in which my MIL called my SIL an entitled cold hearted bitch, I sat my ass down and spilled my guts.

Merry fuckin Christmas and Ho fucking Ho you assholes!

[MissingInAction 25615]

Went to my friends annual get-together.

Great brisket, turkey, and all the fixings.

One dip shit was decked out in aggy gear and wouldn't stop trashing UT.

When he said, it's not like Texas played anyone,  I asked if ATM ever played for the sec championship. Oh and didn't Texas beat the Aggies on their home field?

Oh the sweet silence from that moment on. 

Best moment was when grandad poked his son in law in the ass with a fork to get him out of his seat.

Edited Wednesday at 10:54 PM by MissingInAction

[Gil Bang 26277]

Hosted the GF's entire family last night.  Usually when those assholes get together and drinks are involved, arguments and sometimes squaring off happens.  Last night, everybody was on their best behavior.  We ate great food (cooked by me), drank, and acted merry.  Many laughs, some gambling, and an all-around great time, with a big mess for me to clean up.  Meh...I put "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul". on the CD player, popped a few tops, and got the mess knocked out in the time it took the dishwasher to do two loads.  

And the GF was so appreciative of my hard work, that she took responsibility for another "load" when I finally came to bed. 

pretty, pretty, pretty good. 

[InkaUtexas 27020]

Mine ended up sucking.

next year everyone can fuck the fuck off. I am taking my wife to some quiet cabin and fuck the world. Never hosting again.

And no one but her is getting a present.

Bah Humbug.

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22339]

I didn’t don’t do Christmas at all this year.  No decorations, didn’t receive or give a single present.  My only concession was taking my 94 year old mom to her usual Christmas Eve candlelight service.  Christmas Day was just me and the dogs.  We went to the dog park in the afternoon and then went to my mom’s and made bison meatloaf for dinner.  I would have just bailed out to the ranch by myself with the dogs, but I had to stay in Houston for my mom.

PS fuck Houston.  It has the world’s shittiest drivers.

Edited 20 hours ago by NeverMarryAStripper

[Js1 87326]

I didn’t have to do anything for Christmas until I fly into Houston this weekend to do a late low key thing

Dog and I went on an hour walk around the lake, he got a pup cup and we napped on the couch, ate BBQ and watched basketball 

[Longboard Horn 41446]

7 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Mine ended up sucking.

next year everyone can fuck the fuck off. I am taking my wife to some quiet cabin and fuck the world. Never hosting again.

And no one but her is getting a present.

Bah Humbug.

 

[Biff Tannen 46237]

15 hours ago, Js1 said:

I didn’t have to do anything for Christmas until I fly into Houston this weekend to do a late low key thing

Dog and I went on an hour walk around the lake, he got a pup cup and we napped on the couch, ate BBQ and watched basketball 

Pup Cup ftw!

[BearSchlong 8262]

Hosted the GF's entire family last night.  Usually when those assholes get together and drinks are involved, arguments and sometimes squaring off happens.  Last night, everybody was on their best behavior.  We ate great food (cooked by me), drank, and acted merry.  Many laughs, some gambling, and an all-around great time, with a big mess for me to clean up.  Meh...I put "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul". on the CD player, popped a few tops, and got the mess knocked out in the time it took the dishwasher to do two loads.  
And the GF was so appreciative of my hard work, that she took responsibility for another "load" when I finally came to bed. 
pretty, pretty, pretty good. 

I lost my virginity to a half Italian/half Cherokee vixen on Dec 23 1987 while listening to Rubber Soul, so this hits hard. Bravo!

[Al_4_ISU 12673]

On 12/23/2024 at 2:09 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Ah, yes. The most peaceful three hours of the year. 

It actually worked.

[RDCanecutter 26954]

On 12/2/2024 at 12:48 PM, InkaUtexas said:

so a 254mm? Interesting selection. Army Brat swears by them from his time on the Crimea peninsula.

My Brother, millimetres? Do you want to see a guillotine in Piccadilly?