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Official Bitch about your Family Thread 2024: Holiday Edition


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Posted
5 minutes ago, luke duke said:

My in-laws tore down their perfectly good house earlier this year, so now they’re living in the 1br barndominium while the new house is under construction. MIL still insisted on hosting Christmas. I offered to host 3 different times. No luck. So I get to spend Christmas in a barn and travel trailer. MIL will spend the whole time bitching about how small the kitchen is. I made the mistake of asking if they even had a Christmas tree. Of course the answer was no. Now my wife wants to take our tree with us. That ain’t happening.


 

 

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Posted
1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Ztejas, you would bring a lot of humor and youthful insight to our AA thread. We would love to have you. ❤️

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Posted
8 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Ztejas, you would bring a lot of humor and youthful insight to our AA thread. We would love to have you. ❤️

Yeah I need to make my way over there.

Thanks man. 

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Posted
5 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.


Don’t care, saw Texas beat Clemson?

 

Sucks shit like that has to happen. 

Posted
10 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Thread is picking up steam. Now we’re getting somewhere. 
image.gif.22eb60712ffd14df15a6e575ea1a8b6b.gif

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Posted

On the kick ass side, just found out that our niece & nephew are both in Austin this xmas so we're going to meet up with them at BD Riley's at Mueller tomorrow afternoon and buy them some drinks while giving them respite from their family drama. Their parents (wife's brother and his wife) divorced about 5 years ago. The kids are both out of college & in the early stages of getting on with life.

If any of you assholes are at BD Riley's tomorrow I'll be the tall, skinny white dude with a receding hairline. Should be easy to spot amongst that crowd. Come by and give me the secret surly handshake & I'll buy you a pint.

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Posted
11 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

How do you “kind of beat” an ass?  We need some details here.

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Posted
12 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

 

he had it coming

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Posted
1 hour ago, Parliament said:

How do you “kind of beat” an ass?  We need some details here.

This.

was it an attention getter like an open-handed slap?  Or was it a full-on rumble?

Posted
5 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

On the kick ass side, just found out that our niece & nephew are both in Austin this xmas so we're going to meet up with them at BD Riley's at Mueller tomorrow afternoon and buy them some drinks while giving them respite from their family drama. Their parents (wife's brother and his wife) divorced about 5 years ago. The kids are both out of college & in the early stages of getting on with life.

If any of you assholes are at BD Riley's tomorrow I'll be the tall, skinny white dude with a receding hairline. Should be easy to spot amongst that crowd. Come by and give me the secret surly handshake & I'll buy you a pint.

Pics of niece? 

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Posted
19 hours ago, ztejas said:

Okay let me come clean. I posted earlier but I think I've distilled it better now. 

I kind of beat my uncle's ass earlier tonight. In front of my granddad's house. 

He had been talking a ton of shit all night and at one point crossed the line by saying some shit about me and my dad. 

I'm just not sure about posting it here because it's pretty fucking nasty still and honestly I feel like someone in my family could still potentially shoot and kill me. 

Idk. I guess I feel slightly safer by airing it out.

Happy Holidays.

Miss you bro, had good times in north Dallas kicking it. 

at the gfs family tonight because you know us Mexicans do it big on Xmas eve. Well 6pm was supposed to be dinner we ate at 9pm and now the gf and family are still wrapping presents at 1115. We still have “games” and white elephant to go through. I’m enjoying bourbon and watching the green mile though so it’s ok. 

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Posted (edited)

I didn’t don’t do Christmas at all this year.  No decorations, didn’t receive or give a single present.  My only concession was taking my 94 year old mom to her usual Christmas Eve candlelight service.  Christmas Day was just me and the dogs.  We went to the dog park in the afternoon and then went to my mom’s and made bison meatloaf for dinner.  I would have just bailed out to the ranch by myself with the dogs, but I had to stay in Houston for my mom.

PS fuck Houston.  It has the world’s shittiest drivers.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper
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Posted

I didn’t have to do anything for Christmas until I fly into Houston this weekend to do a late low key thing

Dog and I went on an hour walk around the lake, he got a pup cup and we napped on the couch, ate BBQ and watched basketball 

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Posted
7 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

Mine ended up sucking.

next year everyone can fuck the fuck off. I am taking my wife to some quiet cabin and fuck the world. Never hosting again.

And no one but her is getting a present.

Bah Humbug.

 

200.gif?cid=6c09b952r819m2k36tvlgp2b3lum

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Posted
15 hours ago, Js1 said:

I didn’t have to do anything for Christmas until I fly into Houston this weekend to do a late low key thing

Dog and I went on an hour walk around the lake, he got a pup cup and we napped on the couch, ate BBQ and watched basketball 

Pup Cup ftw!

Posted
Hosted the GF's entire family last night.  Usually when those assholes get together and drinks are involved, arguments and sometimes squaring off happens.  Last night, everybody was on their best behavior.  We ate great food (cooked by me), drank, and acted merry.  Many laughs, some gambling, and an all-around great time, with a big mess for me to clean up.  Meh...I put "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul". on the CD player, popped a few tops, and got the mess knocked out in the time it took the dishwasher to do two loads.  
And the GF was so appreciative of my hard work, that she took responsibility for another "load" when I finally came to bed. 
pretty, pretty, pretty good. 

I lost my virginity to a half Italian/half Cherokee vixen on Dec 23 1987 while listening to Rubber Soul, so this hits hard. Bravo!
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Posted
On 12/2/2024 at 12:48 PM, InkaUtexas said:

so a 254mm? Interesting selection. Army Brat swears by them from his time on the Crimea peninsula.

My Brother, millimetres? Do you want to see a guillotine in Piccadilly?

 

Posted

About to spend 2 days at a cabin with my in laws.  This is primed for some kind of story.

I’m mildly optimistic for a lack of drama, as Failure to Launch BIL recently gained legitimate employment and their cunt dogs aren’t allowed on the property.  At least 70% of their drama stems from one of them yelling at a dog and another one yelling at the person who yelled at the dog.

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Posted

Well we had a bit of a scare Christmas morning...

My in-laws live in NYC, so we go up every year for a Christmas time visit.  This year was great.  Her dad rented a cabin upstate, so we got a little time in the "country" in addition to coming back and getting some city time.

 

We have 3 dogs at home and a great pet-sitter that stays at our house here in Houston.

We're sitting around Christmas morning, having coffee and mimosas etc.  Wife gets a call from the alarm company, reporting a fire.  Wife's anxiety shoots through the roof and becomes close to hysterical.

Call the pet-sitter, no answer.

Call the neighbors, no answer.

Look at the ring camera and see the fire trucks pull up.

Look at the interior camera and nothing is happening..

After a tense 15 minutes and feeling pretty helpless being so far away, the pet-sitter calls her and says everything is fine.

 

Steam from the guest bathroom set off the smoke detector/alarm. 🙄

 

Switched to whiskey drinks after that.

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Posted
On 12/23/2024 at 2:07 PM, Storm the Field said:

Not really bitching about family per se, b/c I get along fine with both my family and my in-laws, but more about the amount of time I have to spend being surrounded by people over the next 10 days.

I'm not a loner by any means, but I'm definitely a bit of an introvert and I enjoy my personal (quiet) time. I also am a creature of habit. Hitting the road tomorrow to go spend Xmas Eve and Xmas Day doing shit with my side of the family at my folks place. Then Thursday and Friday visiting the wife's family in Louisiana. Get back to Houston on Saturday just in time for my wife's best friend and her new boyfriend (who I've never met) to fly in from Colorado to stay with us until the 2nd. Tonight is more or less my last night of normalcy until next weekend.

It's finally over.

I'm fucking beat, but when I get home from work this evening, it'll just be me, the wife, and our dogs and we're going to have a boring old regular weeknight. Simple homemade dinner followed by an episode or 2 of one of our shows and then off to bed at a reasonable time. Can't wait!

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Posted

Late Christmas was hilarious. Sister and nephews and oldest nephew’s gf showed up at noon. Presents opened by 12:30 (bc you try stopping a 4 year old), mom had no idea how to/that she should heat up the ham, sister and oldest nephew and his gf left by 1:30 😂 after ham sandwiches and Bob Evans mashed potatoes 

Classy gf too - showed up in leather shorts, fishnets and chucks 

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Posted
1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Late Christmas was hilarious. Sister and nephews and oldest nephew’s gf showed up at noon. Presents opened by 12:30 (bc you try stopping a 4 year old), mom had no idea how to/that she should heat up the ham, sister and oldest nephew and his gf left by 1:30 😂 after ham sandwiches and Bob Evans mashed potatoes 

Classy gf too - showed up in leather shorts, fishnets and chucks 

rules

Posted

Day after Xmas, found myself having to entertain niece and her fiancé for an afternoon. I had heard that Lee Harvey Oswald was buried nearby. Googled, and sure enough, his grave was about ten minutes away. The kids were up for it, so we went. 
 
(I did not bring the flowers). 
 
A little surprised by the flags- I knew he was a vet, but would have thought his discharge (after defecting to Russia) would have been less than honorable. Maybe a relative brought them?

After, we went out for hamburgers and beer. So, not really bitching, just sharing a little bit of crazy. 

IMG_3672.jpeg

Posted
9 minutes ago, statsman said:

Day after Xmas, found myself having to entertain niece and her fiancé for an afternoon. I had heard that Lee Harvey Oswald was buried nearby. Googled, and sure enough, his grave was about ten minutes away. The kids were up for it, so we went. 
 
(I did not bring the flowers). 
 
A little surprised by the flags- I knew he was a vet, but would have thought his discharge (after defecting to Russia) would have been less than honorable. Maybe a relative brought them?

After, we went out for hamburgers and beer. So, not really bitching, just sharing a little bit of crazy. 

IMG_3672.jpeg

My FIL was a cop in FW. The FWPD were terrified that someone would make an attempted on Kennedy there and were relieved when he left the city. He also said they had to put a watch on Oswald's grave after his death and that it was covered by the greenest grass in the cemetery from people pissing on it. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

My FIL was a cop in FW. The FWPD were terrified that someone would make an attempted on Kennedy there and were relieved when he left the city. He also said they had to put a watch on Oswald's grave after his death and that it was covered by the greenest grass in the cemetery from people pissing on it. 

My understanding is that the original grave had Oswald’s full name and dates of birth and death, but was replaced by a simpler marker after defacing of the original 

Posted

Spent a week with the in-laws and it wasn't as bad as usual.  FIL is fine, but MIL treats everyone like they're 5 and doesn't want to let anyone do anything for themselves, which drives me batshit.  She sets a table for breakfast every morning -- knife, spoon, fork, napkin -- even if everyone is just eating cereal and toast like they always do.  The last thing I want to do when I wake up is sit down at a table to eat with everyone so I always skip that, which bothers her.  

One morning, I was getting some leftover pizza out of the fridge and she comes into the kitchen hurriedly and asks, "Do you want me to heat the oven up for you?" and I kind of snapped at her ("No, I don't want you to heat the oven up for me!") because I was standing right next to the oven at the time, plus I eat cold pizza for breakfast regularly, which my wife told me she had already told her, plus who heats up leftover pizza in an oven anyway?

The day after Christmas we got up early to start the 12-hour drive back and she's bent out of shape because we're not eating breakfast at the table with knives and spoons and forks... Wife and I are in the kitchen talking and she comes in and says, "We have spoons if you want yogurt!"   I blurted out "YOU HAVE SPOONS???!"  which got a disapproving glare from the wife, but now gives me something to annoy my wife with every day since -- every time my wife says she's hungry, I say, "We have spoons if you want yogurt!" 

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Wow.  Your MIL sounds like a good host.

Too good -- "Make yourself at home!  But I'm going to insist on not letting you do anything for yourself like you would if you were actually home!"

She's from Arkansas, so my wife always claims it's a Southern thing.

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