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Terrible White People Baby Names


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15 hours ago, CHIEF said:

My first cousin's first cousin (opposite side of the family) was named Zebulon William Williams. Was close enough to attend his funeral a couple of years ago, died from a heroin overdose in Cleburne, Texas. Daughter picked the music for the funeral and played Guns and Roses' Mister Brownstone, I shit you not. 

 

CHIEF

That was the name of Grandpa Walton, on The Waltons.

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On 8/16/2018 at 9:47 PM, Stella Link said:

No.  Strippers will always be named Brandy, Crystal, Tiffany, Amber, Candy, Cherry, Bambi, Star, Diamond, Lexie, Roxy, Chyna and Trixie.

How did Bambi evolve from The Prince Of The Forest to a stripper name?

VSvnJ6qb_o.jpg
 

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  • 5 years later...
3 minutes ago, Hefeweizen said:

Ray gun is pretty awesome, not going to lie.

 

Schwetty balls galore.

Raygun is one of my favorite snowboards. It’s a cheap beginner’s board, but I like it and still go back to it pretty often.

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Cutter Sagers?  

Cash me Outside, Cash.  No Sweat, Bitch.  

Bronc Heiener

TIL, the simulation doesn't become self-aware as SkyNet at NORAD.  It first infiltrates the Utah State children's rodeo first as a beta-test. 

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It’s not just white, it’s Utah white.  Bordering on the whitest of white (clear?).  Most of these folks are likely LDS.  I work with and have many LDS friends.  My generation is filled with Dan, Brent, etc.  Our kids’ generation (20-30) veered a little more: Mason, Tanner, Lindsay.  This is yet another step.  That said, there are Cutters, Kaylans, etc. at many of the private schools in suburban Texas.

I am a bit offended by Qwaylon.  Just name the kid Waylon, FFS.

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3 hours ago, TheBryMan81 said:

I have a niece named Neveah (Hispanic, not white, surprisingly,  I know). Phonetically, she is Neh-vay-yah.

I've known a few black people named Nevaeh (note: heaven backward). This is how they pronounced it as well

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On 7/20/2024 at 10:16 PM, Hefeweizen said:

The “den” ending is a white giveaway, phonetically.  Caden, Braden, Hayden, ad nauseum.  When my kids were at Westlake there was a lot of this.  It’s fucking weird.

Hayden, Braden, Caden, and Okayden.

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On 7/20/2024 at 10:16 PM, Hefeweizen said:

The “den” ending is a white giveaway, phonetically.  Caden, Braden, Hayden, ad nauseum.  When my kids were at Westlake there was a lot of this.  It’s fucking weird.

Lol wut. Do you know how many black kids get named Jaden/Jayden?

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Posted (edited)

I have a family member expecting this summer.  The kid's middle name will be Emit.  Not pronounced like Emmett Smith.  But long E-mit as in "to send out a beam, noise, smell or gas. "

I'm going to call the kid Fart.

Edited by Macanudo
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