Terrible White People Baby Names

[MissingInAction 25002]

Here's one I've seen on more than one occasion:

Abcde

Yes, that's the name. Pronounced Ahbayseedee.

 

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

1 hour ago, Art Vandelay said:

I know a guy who named his kid Seven.

Keep your heart, 3 Stacks.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

28 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Ima Hogg, Ura Hogg

This name game is nothing new. In fact the 19th century in the US was a strong name era.

Ura is a myth. There was no Ura Hogg, and Ima was named after some character in a poem her uncle wrote, not to declare she was a Hogg. 

My silly middle name came from a poem by psychedelic dad wrote, so I feel a kinship. Also, my family was friends with the Hoggs way back when. 

[Art Vandelay 1712]

31 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Ima Hogg, Ura Hogg

This name game is nothing new. In fact the 19th century in the US was a strong name era.

EDIT: MAC beat me to it.

Edited August 15, 2018 by Art Vandelay

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Have a new nice named Berkley.

[Art Vandelay 1712]

37 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Keep your heart, 3 Stacks.

I'm an old so I'm afraid you're going to have to explain this one to me. 

[Incredulity 11643]

Last year I encountered:

 

Phoenix

Blaze

Artemis

Razden

[hayden_horn 11362]

19 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Last year I encountered:

 

Phoenix

Blaze

Artemis

Razden

[Anton Chigurh 3319]

I'm an old so I'm afraid you're going to have to explain this one to me. 

Hey keep your heart, three stacks, keep your heart.

[Slacks 6819]

Never fuck without a rubber.

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

33 minutes ago, Art Vandelay said:

I'm an old so I'm afraid you're going to have to explain this one to me. 

Andre 3K (3 Stacks) is a rapper and his son is named Seven.

[Art Vandelay 1712]

22 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Andre 3K (3 Stacks) is a rapper and his son is named Seven.

Ah. Thank you. I was trying to figure out if there was a connection to Seinfeld (my original reference).

EDIT: And although I'm an old, I do know who Andre 3K is.

Edited August 15, 2018 by Art Vandelay

[atomheartbevo 89618]

4 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Lil' dude in my daughter's daycare is named Grayton.

Speaking of Henry, seeing that, Oliver, and a couple of other similar names (obscure when I was a kid) popping up these days.  Not as many Michaels/Christophers/Jasons.

[atomheartbevo 89618]

nm, double post.

Edited August 15, 2018 by atomheartbevo

[Hornius Emeritus 12448]

1 hour ago, DaysOff said:

Ima Hogg, Ura Hogg

This name game is nothing new. In fact the 19th century in the US was a strong name era.

 

There was never a Ura Hogg.

I shot a rodeo in Post, Texas, about 8 years ago.  I'm sitting here looking at a list of riders in the bronc busting competition. Eight of the 17 riders was named Cody.  That's almost 50%.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, DaysOff said:

Ima Hogg, Ura Hogg
 

Vic's dating blog?

[HRSchenker 2268]

I know 6 kids named Jaxon and 4 kids named Kinsler. The weirdest name I've ever heard was a girl whose first and last name is Taylor. Taylor Taylor lol

[Okie State 3804]

Moon Unit and Dweezil. 

My Uncle tried many times to get me to name my kids after them.

[Incredulity 11643]

21 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

I know 6 kids named Jaxon and 4 kids named Kinsler. The weirdest name I've ever heard was a girl whose first and last name is Taylor. Taylor Taylor lol

I know a Alison Allison

[Chilly Water 415]

I know a Maude....wait no I don’t because I would never associate with someone named Maude

[David Dennison 18837]

Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, and Phil.

[LongestHorn 759]

Blaine?  That's not a name, that's a major appliance.

['stache 21789]

4 hours ago, SameSame said:

Kaylee, Kayleigh, Kailey, Kaylie, Cayley, Kaleigh, Kailee, Kaley, Kayley, Caleigh, Keily, Cayleigh, Kayli, Cailey, Kaily, Kayle, Kaileigh, Kaili, Kaylei, Keylee, Kalie, Kaylea, Keyli, Calie, Cailee, Kalee, Caylie, Caileigh, Kaeli, Kalei, Kailea, Kaeleigh, Caylie, Kaelee, Caley, Kailie , Kaeley, Kailei, Keiley, Keilly, Kaely, Keyleigh, Keilee, Keili, Calee,, Kaelie, Cayley, Kayly, Keileigh, Keylie, Keyly, Kayelee, Kaile, Caeli, Kayliegh, Caeley, Kaliegh, Caylei, Klea, Khaylee, Kleigh, Caeleigh, Kayliee, Khailee, Khailey, Cayli, Cailie, Keyle, Keylli, Kayeleigh, Kaelly, Caelie, Caliegh, Caelee, Keylly, Caily, Kailly, Keighley

 

Replace K with H.  I've seen a lot of Haleys recently whose parents are too cool to spell it normal.

Edited August 15, 2018 by 'stache

['stache 21789]

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

Luretha

[Fudge Nuggets 19184]

2 hours ago, Art Vandelay said:

I know a guy who named his kid Seven.

Number of beers required to get it on with the kid’s mom?

[Trey3216 15343]

1 hour ago, Chilly Water said:

I know a Maude....wait no I don’t because I would never associate with someone named Maude

Coitus?

[Fudge Nuggets 19184]

1 hour ago, David Dennison said:

Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Kaitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Qbert, and Phil.

Qbert is an awesome name.

[HouTex 1866]

I know a Alison Allison

So do I. It's her married name.

[baboso 6054]

2 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Ura is a myth. There was no Ura Hogg, and Ima was named after some character in a poem her uncle wrote, not to declare she was a Hogg. 

My silly middle name came from a poem by psychedelic dad wrote, so I feel a kinship. Also, my family was friends with the Hoggs way back when. 

"A"?

[Pato del Muerto 52484]

Headed towards middle earth naming convention. Tolkien was prescient.  

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

Mulva......

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

rick, but spelled w/a silent "P" the beginning.....

[El Diablo 4232]

It's pronounced OZ-WEE-PAY!!!

[HouTex 1866]

2 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

 

There was never a Ura Hogg.

I shot a rodeo in Post, Texas, about 8 years ago.  I'm sitting here looking at a list of riders in the bronc busting competition. Eight of the 17 riders was named Cody.  That's almost 50%.

Truth.  Just go the Houston LSR and you'll notice that the field is loaded with riders named Cody.  They must change their names when they develop a knack for the sport. 

[TornACL 7698]

We white people are so boring that we still use the same boring names, but just spell them stupidly to be unique.

['stache 21789]

27 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

It's pronounced OZ-WEE-PAY!!!

Holy shit, great reference!  I just googled and couldn't find the clip.  "Mr. and Mrs. Asswipe Johnson."

[Texas_Rocks 346]

I know of one guy named Courtney. He catches a lot shit.

[elfenix 34221]

2 hours ago, Newdoc said:

That's a name for a Labrador Retriever - golden, or maybe an Australian Cattle dog. 

 

[El Diablo 4232]

22 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Holy shit, great reference!  I just googled and couldn't find the clip.  "Mr. and Mrs. Asswipe Johnson."

It was a great skit because you didn't see the punchline coming.

[Trey3216 15343]

33 minutes ago, TornACL said:

We white people are so boring that we still use the same boring names, but just spell them stupidly to be unique.

Well, we don't dance as well as black folks, and we aren't as creative with creating new names apparently.  

[BlueGreySky 1002]

[GringoSalado 1651]

7 hours ago, SameSame said:

Kaylee, Kayleigh, Kailey, Kaylie, Cayley, Kaleigh, Kailee, Kaley, Kayley, Caleigh, Keily, Cayleigh, Kayli, Cailey, Kaily, Kayle, Kaileigh, Kaili, Kaylei, Keylee, Kalie, Kaylea, Keyli, Calie, Cailee, Kalee, Caylie, Caileigh, Kaeli, Kalei, Kailea, Kaeleigh, Caylie, Kaelee, Caley, Kailie , Kaeley, Kailei, Keiley, Keilly, Kaely, Keyleigh, Keilee, Keili, Calee,, Kaelie, Cayley, Kayly, Keileigh, Keylie, Keyly, Kayelee, Kaile, Caeli, Kayliegh, Caeley, Kaliegh, Caylei, Klea, Khaylee, Kleigh, Caeleigh, Kayliee, Khailee, Khailey, Cayli, Cailie, Keyle, Keylli, Kayeleigh, Kaelly, Caelie, Caliegh, Caelee, Keylly, Caily, Kailly, Keighley

 

Username checks out

[NWBuck 8551]

I'm still arguing with the wife about these possibilities for the next young-un:

 

[CooterBrown 18001]

Yeah, this is in Utah, but names in the exurbs of big Texas cities are just as bad.
 
Preslee. Madolin. Kolten. Atylee. Mekeli. Paityn. Kyson. Taeber. Saydee. Makinlee. Haleigh. Braylin. Syrie. Madisyn. Kirtlyn. Madysen. Aeryn. Taiten. Taycie. Gambit. Aroarin. Braxton. Macady. Maycee. Jaxon. Ryker. Jaxon. Jr. Laycee. Taeton. 
Some likely Mormon family named their kid Eros....WTF. 
 
 

You should clarify those are lower class white people names.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

21 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

 

You should clarify those are lower class white people names.

 

You gonna tell Peyton ?

[RDCanecutter 26377]

32 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

 

You should clarify those are lower class white people names.

 

Middle name Wayne, because he's a little outlaw.

[NateHitch 1282]

We need a playoff, terrible white people names vs. terrible black people names

[Deej 76750]

I know a guy who named his kid Seven.

Username checks out.

[RDCanecutter 26377]

46 minutes ago, NateHitch said:

We need a playoff, terrible white people names vs. terrible black people names

With halftime entertainment supplied by Hispanic Mothers With Strong Accents Who Name Their Kids Jason, AJ, or Jessica.

"Yayson! Ay-Yay! Yessica!"

[Prepuce of Doom 21052]

I recently encountered a gay couple named Brandon and Branden. They're really putting a lot of faith in other people clearly enunciating soft vowels.