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Posted

Staying at a nicer hotel in downtown Chicago on my way home to (grits teeth) Ohio for Christmas.

This place has valet parking which is a new concept to a lower class rural Ohioan like myself.  I have NO idea what decorum is here, but I know that a civilized man will tip my guy Sal.

How much?  $10?

Posted

Really hard to tip valet and similarly-situated workers these days since I rarely carry cash.  At least businesses like airport shuttles now have a QR code on the bus that let's you tip via online.  I'm guessing most valet services will start doing the same if they haven't already adapted.  

Posted

If the hotel charges me $50 for hotel valet/day there’s no other tipping involved

 

similarly, if at a restaurant, valet has a cost associated with it, I take that to be their tip. No extra cash is transacted. 

Posted

I think I’m going to print up some business cards, 3 or 4 versions. 
 

Top left corner a “pro tip:” graphic, with some good advice. 
 

don’t eat yellow snow

don’t stare at the sun

avoid the clap

 

etc

 

Then drop them in “tip” jars wherever non-traditional places have them. 
 

Posted
1 hour ago, Fat Bastard said:

If the hotel charges me $50 for hotel valet/day there’s no other tipping involved

 

similarly, if at a restaurant, valet has a cost associated with it, I take that to be their tip. No extra cash is transacted. 

You’re a dick. Don’t stiff people providing you a service. You’re not making some sort of statement fucking over the little guy.

Posted
2 hours ago, Fat Bastard said:

If the hotel charges me $50 for hotel valet/day there’s no other tipping involved

 

similarly, if at a restaurant, valet has a cost associated with it, I take that to be their tip. No extra cash is transacted. 

I was a valet in college. We didn’t get a cent from the fee. Hotels may be different. I only worked at restaurants. 
 

I’d say that today $5-10 is a solid tip. Not enough to remember you the next time, for either good or bad reasons. 
 

The high-rollers tipped $20 in the late 90’s, so that’s probably $50 today. 

Posted
1 hour ago, royiv said:

You’re a dick. Don’t stiff people providing you a service. You’re not making some sort of statement fucking over the little guy.

A “complimentary” valet or one that does not have an upfront fee, gets standard $10 from me or if they park my car up front, $20. U upfront charge me? Nothing. That’s not going to change. 
 

The hotel $50/day definitely gets nothing. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Fat Bastard said:

A “complimentary” valet or one that does not have an upfront fee, gets standard $10 from me or if they park my car up front, $20. U upfront charge me? Nothing. That’s not going to change. 
 

The hotel $50/day definitely gets nothing. 

Are you under the impression that the fee goes to the guys doing the work? You stuffing some kid is a dick move. That five bucks you’re saving doesn’t move the needle for you.

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Posted
18 minutes ago, royiv said:

Are you under the impression that the fee goes to the guys doing the work? You stuffing some kid is a dick move. That five bucks you’re saving doesn’t move the needle for you.

Phrasing.

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Posted (edited)

I was ready to go $5.  Had the money ready when the guy handed me my keys and immediately walked away.  Guys it’s not in their culture here to give/take tips?  Dunno

Edited by Parliament
Posted
2 hours ago, royiv said:

Are you under the impression that the fee goes to the guys doing the work? You stuffing some kid is a dick move. That five bucks you’re saving doesn’t move the needle for you.

Don’t care. Take it up with management. They’re the ones fucking u out of your tip

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Posted

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

No shit.  I rarely ever have less than $100 cash on me.

Posted
40 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

a8f59544-a60b-4add-8b22-5d8539e3aa61_tex

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Posted
6 hours ago, luke duke said:

I was a valet in college. We didn’t get a cent from the fee. Hotels may be different. I only worked at restaurants. 
 

I’d say that today $5-10 is a solid tip. Not enough to remember you the next time, for either good or bad reasons. 
 

The high-rollers tipped $20 in the late 90’s, so that’s probably $50 today. 

We have a good friend that is in restaurant management in Colorado, she says the high rollers from Texas tip $100 for a quick table, and they don’t look like it. The douche canoes try to tip $20 she takes it and puts their name on the list. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

I only carry crypto 

Posted
2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

This times fucking 100. It's a paper bill. You gloried in them most of your life. Now you're just too advanced?

I feel like a little side-note. Don't wanna read it, don't. I have run into vendors at shows, people who have maybe 5 hours to hoover up enough money to make it a week, and heard "I don't take cash." (Usually pronounced "cosh," I don't know why.)

I'm like you fucking WHAT? This is economic combat, bitch. I take cash, card, Paypal, Venmo, [extend list to every app], Pesos, Euros, earrings of sterling or higher value, like, almost anything. But I guess since you rolled up in a new BMW to set up a tiny table selling artisanal soap for NOT cosh that I am not enough of an advanced being composed only of light to be able to comprehend your sensibilities.

Honest unrelated question: do most valets know how to drive stick? Or is there an old guy on every crew who does it? Does he get extra pay? Dude should.

Posted
This times fucking 100. It's a paper bill. You gloried in them most of your life. Now you're just too advanced?
I feel like a little side-note. Don't wanna read it, don't. I have run into vendors at shows, people who have maybe 5 hours to hoover up enough money to make it a week, and heard "I don't take cash." (Usually pronounced "cosh," I don't know why.)
I'm like you fucking WHAT? This is economic combat, bitch. I take cash, card, Paypal, Venmo, [extend list to every app], Pesos, Euros, earrings of sterling or higher value, like, almost anything. But I guess since you rolled up in a new BMW to set up a tiny table selling artisanal soap for NOT cosh that I am not enough of an advanced being composed only of light to be able to comprehend your sensibilities.
Honest unrelated question: do most valets know how to drive stick? Or is there an old guy on every crew who does it? Does he get extra pay? Dude should.

I once did a volunteer valet shift 30+ years ago. I had to park a Saab, standard. That wasn’t a problem at all. But I had to drive back to the venue to get someone TO TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING KEY WAS.
It was on the fucking floor, by the way.
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Posted
9 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


I once did a volunteer valet shift 30+ years ago. I had to park a Saab, standard. That wasn’t a problem at all. But I had to drive back to the venue to get someone TO TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING KEY WAS.
It was on the fucking floor, by the way.

Svenska djävlar.

Posted
28 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

This times fucking 100. It's a paper bill. You gloried in them most of your life. Now you're just too advanced?

I feel like a little side-note. Don't wanna read it, don't. I have run into vendors at shows, people who have maybe 5 hours to hoover up enough money to make it a week, and heard "I don't take cash." (Usually pronounced "cosh," I don't know why.)

I'm like you fucking WHAT? This is economic combat, bitch. I take cash, card, Paypal, Venmo, [extend list to every app], Pesos, Euros, earrings of sterling or higher value, like, almost anything. But I guess since you rolled up in a new BMW to set up a tiny table selling artisanal soap for NOT cosh that I am not enough of an advanced being composed only of light to be able to comprehend your sensibilities.

Honest unrelated question: do most valets know how to drive stick? Or is there an old guy on every crew who does it? Does he get extra pay? Dude should.

That's another thing that defines "grown-ass man".  Has money in his pocket and knows how to use a fucking clutch.

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Dude, my mother’s dead, you prick!

That was my late Danish mother-in-law's standard comment about Swedes. The "Svenska etc" one. Not "Dude, my mother's dead, you prick!"

Posted
5 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

That's another thing that defines "grown-ass man".  Has money in his pocket and knows how to use a fucking clutch.

And puts the tools back where they fucking go, and doesn't leave wet grass all up inside the lawnmower.

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Posted
5 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

That was my late Danish mother-in-law's standard comment about Swedes. The "Svenska etc" one. Not "Dude, my mother's dead, you prick!"

My GF is 100% danish.  Both sets of grandparents from Denmark, her mom born over there, her dad born here. 

Her dad, long passed, hated swedes.  

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Posted
1 minute ago, Gil Bang said:

My GF is 100% danish.  Both sets of grandparents from Denmark, her mom born over there, her dad born here. 

Her dad, long passed, hated swedes.  

My Danish mother-in-law's dad was a German who gtfo of Germany between wars, found work and pretty wife in Denmark, and got citizenship there, which saved his life.

After the Krauts invaded, and after they started drafting their own people to the Eastern Front, in split-personality Natsy-fashion they tiptoed around the Danes because in their thought patterns the Danes were more of whatever it was the Germans wished they themselves were. 

Until he got betrayed by an informer for hiding a resistance fighter. Then it was off to Peenemünde to labor in Dr. Werner von Braun's slave empire.

Except then the RAF, in all its wobbly-toothed glory, bombed the living fuck out of the V2 launching pads, and also burned up lots of the records. Including my mother-in-law's dad's records.

[pause for drums and bagpipes]

So then, because the Germans, though shitheel bastards, were very correct shitheel bastards (with Danes,) and no longer had his case on file,

They just

let

him go.

They probably shot lots of the others.

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Posted (edited)
On 12/19/2024 at 10:17 PM, Parliament said:

Staying at a nicer hotel in downtown Chicago on my way home to (grits teeth) Ohio for Christmas.

This place has valet parking which is a new concept to a lower class rural Ohioan like myself.  I have NO idea what decorum is here, but I know that a civilized man will tip my guy Sal.

How much?  $10?

For a serious answer to your original question, looks like your answer is to acquire a bunch of fives, and give 1 or 2 of them out as the spirit takes you.

Extra cred if you fold them inside your hand and give them out as a handshake like a Big Cigar buying Bear Bryant another running back.

Edited by RDCanecutter
Posted
8 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

And puts the tools back where they fucking go, and doesn't leave wet grass all up inside the lawnmower.

According to my dad’s 91-year old friend, the measure of a man is whether you roll the air hose back up when you’re done with it. 

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Posted
15 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

According to my dad’s 91-year old friend, the measure of a man is whether you roll the air hose back up when you’re done with it. 

Well he didn't get to 91 being no dummih, obviously.

Posted

$5 minimum if they are professional, cordial and maybe funny.  From someone who has done it before, it’s not always easy if a busy place.  That was years ago and I’d bet they make much less now with people not carrying cash.

Posted
On 12/20/2024 at 7:13 PM, Gil Bang said:

My GF is 100% danish.  Both sets of grandparents from Denmark, her mom born over there, her dad born here. 

Her dad, long passed, hated swedes.  

I’m half Swedish. Fuck him.

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Posted (edited)
On 12/20/2024 at 3:42 PM, Gil Bang said:

any grown-ass man that is advanced enough to use valet parking needs to carry cash to tip the mofo doing the parking.  same with bellman, etc. 

"I don't carry cash"?   What the fuck, do you expect the guy with the taco cart to take Amex? 

lol your “taco cart” sucks and I can by you calling it a taco cart lulz. Any real in the hood taquero takes Zelle cashapp Venmo and pesos. They hustle, find a better taco spot 

Edited by Zepol87
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Posted

If you stay at a hotel often enough, it makes sense to tip the valet.  They learn what time you leave and get back.  They will have the A/C or heat at a good temp when you get in the car.  At the end of the week, it's cost me about $40 out of pocket to be taken care of a little.  When you travel a bunch for work, those kind of things help.

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Posted
If you stay at a hotel often enough, it makes sense to tip the valet.  They learn what time you leave and get back.  They will have the A/C or heat at a good temp when you get in the car.  At the end of the week, it's cost me about $40 out of pocket to be taken care of a little.  When you travel a bunch for work, those kind of things help.

Oh, when I’m a regular at a hotel for work, I tip the hell outta all of em. And as a result, they take great care of me.
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Posted
1 hour ago, Hate said:

If you stay at a hotel often enough, it makes sense to tip the valet.  They learn what time you leave and get back.  They will have the A/C or heat at a good temp when you get in the car.  At the end of the week, it's cost me about $40 out of pocket to be taken care of a little.  When you travel a bunch for work, those kind of things help.

This. I used to do some pretty long stays at hotels for work and was pretty generous with tips. The staff will remember you quickly and make things smooth for you when you are a known good tipper. Plus, I just passed on all the expenses on tips along with everything else back onto the client.

Posted

Depends on the hotel and the way their system works as to where the cars are parked. Usually it’s a minimum $10, but if it’s a place that has close by parking and we’re going to be in and out it’s $20 which generally gets a better spot and faster service. We stay in a lot of the same places, for those it’s always $20 because everything moves faster and my wife’s vehicle usually stays right around the entrance so I can walk right out to it. The nicer hotels keep notes and things like that get paid attention to.

Also, it doesn’t matter what the hotel charges for parking, the valet gets tipped. This isn’t a difficult concept.

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Posted

I was recently at a Marriott in Santa Clara, CA and was pissed to find out they don't have a valet.  Life is too short, have someone park your car.

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