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On what subject should you be considered Surly's resident expert?


TexasHooch

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5 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I bet a lot of us are experts on the Ellis County Jail, because many of of us have probably had the experience of some cold, late December night at 2am,  when some toothless, inbred, goat fucker climbed onto a table and proudly told the patrons of the Waxahachie Waffle House #1347 that Dean Martin sang a better cover of “A Marshmallow World” than Johnny Fucking Mathis, and rest-in-peace Dino, but by the Gods we were not going to let that sister-fucker besmirch the good name of Texas-born Johnny Mathis by claiming that fucking Italian did it better when he didn’t have the range and just phoned it in on version he released three years after Johnny released The One True Version, leading us to explain to the police at 2:15 am why the EMTs were having to haul that unconscious trash off to the hospital, and their not excepting the YouTube video of Johnny that we played for them on our phone.

Oddly specific.

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8 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I bet a lot of us are experts on the Ellis County Jail, because many of of us have probably had the experience of some cold, late December night at 2am,  when some toothless, inbred, goat fucker climbed onto a table and proudly told the patrons of the Waxahachie Waffle House #1347 that Dean Martin sang a better cover of “A Marshmallow World” than Johnny Fucking Mathis, and rest-in-peace Dino, but by the Gods we were not going to let that sister-fucker besmirch the good name of Texas-born Johnny Mathis by claiming that fucking Italian did it better when he didn’t have the range and just phoned it in on version he released three years after Johnny released The One True Version, leading us to explain to the police at 2:15 am why the EMTs were having to haul that unconscious trash off to the hospital, and their not excepting the YouTube video of Johnny that we played for them on our phone.

This, friends and neighbors, is trash-talking poetry.

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21 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I bet a lot of us are experts on the Ellis County Jail, because many of of us have probably had the experience of some cold, late December night at 2am,  when some toothless, inbred, goat fucker climbed onto a table and proudly told the patrons of the Waxahachie Waffle House #1347 that Dean Martin sang a better cover of “A Marshmallow World” than Johnny Fucking Mathis, and rest-in-peace Dino, but by the Gods we were not going to let that sister-fucker (probably named Cleetus) besmirch the good name of Texas-born Johnny Mathis by claiming that fucking Italian did it better when he didn’t have the range and just phoned it in on the version he released three years after Johnny released The One True Version, leading us to explain to the police at 2:15 am why the EMTs were having to haul that unconscious trash off to the hospital, and they were not accepting the YouTube video of Johnny that we played for them on our phone.

 

Same

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I'm expert level at working with one hand.  I'm usually holding a drink in the other.  Next best thing, I'm guessing I'm the most accomplished sky diver here.  However, I'm willing to concede this one if you have 2 or more jumps.  

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21 hours ago, Jiggy-Z said:

All things concrete construction.

Inshore salwater kayak fishing and camping.

Road cycling.

Rock climbing (retired).

Trumpet playing. (retired)

Classical guitar (also retired)

2nd gen Toyota Tacoma modification.

I seems that I have wasted my life.

hardly

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13 hours ago, NoRagrets said:

Unaccomplished goal setting. 

Yeah. But at least you don’t ragret it.

 

2 hours ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

I've been told I'm an expert at eating while driving.


I’m really enjoying the username and expertise combinations in this thread.

Keep it up, everyone.

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6 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Guessing the color of women's nips.

I'm pretty terrible at this. I've seen a lot of titties but many times you think you are going to get strawberry but you get chocolate or chocolate and you get strawberry. Personally, I  don't care either way as long as I get some pencil eraser tips.

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5 hours ago, Covri said:

I’m probably the foremost expert on Polish Psychobilly, Ska, and punk rock music from the 80’s to now on this board. Also the shoe and clothing culture associated with it. 

Yeah I was gonna say this too, but I've kinda been letting it slide lately.

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