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Better Man— Robbie Williams as a Monkey


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I don’t know if I’ll like a Hollywood fiasco more this year.  Paramount decides to purchase and distribute “Better Man,” a biopic of Robbie Williams (famously unable to get any traction in the U.S.) where he’s played by a CGI ape and it made 580k on opening night.  I just want to have been in the room for this pitch:

”So here’s the film, it’s a biopic about this mega pop star.  Only no one in America knows who he is or can name one of his songs.  I’m telling you, he’s a complete nobody here. A zero.  

 But it won’t be him in the movie, it will be a chimp.  Only maybe it’s all in his head? No one ever mentions it in the movie.  It’s not clear, but everyone else in the movie are people and he’s a singing ape.  That’s the hook. 
 

I’m telling you this will do numbers!”

 

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28 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I understand nothing about any of this. 

Robbie Williams is a Brit mega-star for inexplicable reasons cause his songs are really not that great.  He is legitimately iconic in Europe playing massive arenas and formerly was like 1 of every three videos on MTV when it played music. His cultural penetration there is on par with maybe someone like Justin Timberlake. 
 

 But, not for lack of trying, he just could not break through at all in the United States.  Americans have no clue who he is unless you’ve been overseas and mystified your European friends by not having a clue about one of the biggest stars in their world. It’s almost a running joke that we don’t care about him. 
 

And some genius at Paramount signed off on trying to promote his biopic, where he is played by a CGI ape, in a country that famously has no clue who he is. The movie took in something like one million on opening weekend, it’s a complete fiasco. 

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About 4 years ago on a work conference call a British co-worker said something about Robbie Williams. When I responded who? He was stunned that I had no idea who the hell he was. 

To make it even funnier, apparently Robbie Williams was a member of a boy band called Take That, which was apparently as big as NSYNC or backstreet boys.  I'd never heard of them either. My Brit coworker did not believe me. 

Sorry man, that's just some Euro trash

 

 

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I have absolutely no idea who he is. I thought I must be missing something about him. My music history knowledge on rock is middle of the road at best though. I contemplated watching this just to try and figure out who he is, but I’ll skip it. I’ll wait for the Peyton Manning giraffe biopic. 

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7 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

 

”So here’s the film, it’s a biopic about this mega pop star.  Only no one in America knows who he is or can name one of his songs.  I’m telling you, he’s a complete nobody here. A zero.  

 But it won’t be him in the movie, it will be a chimp.  Only maybe it’s all in his head? No one ever mentions it in the movie.  It’s not clear, but everyone else in the movie are people and he’s a singing ape.  That’s the hook. 
 

I’m telling you this will do numbers!”

 

there had to be at least one sane person sitting in on that pitch like

 

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