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Better Man— Robbie Williams as a Monkey


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I don’t know if I’ll like a Hollywood fiasco more this year.  Paramount decides to purchase and distribute “Better Man,” a biopic of Robbie Williams (famously unable to get any traction in the U.S.) where he’s played by a CGI ape and it made 580k on opening night.  I just want to have been in the room for this pitch:

”So here’s the film, it’s a biopic about this mega pop star.  Only no one in America knows who he is or can name one of his songs.  I’m telling you, he’s a complete nobody here. A zero.  

 But it won’t be him in the movie, it will be a chimp.  Only maybe it’s all in his head? No one ever mentions it in the movie.  It’s not clear, but everyone else in the movie are people and he’s a singing ape.  That’s the hook. 
 

I’m telling you this will do numbers!”

 

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28 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I understand nothing about any of this. 

Robbie Williams is a Brit mega-star for inexplicable reasons cause his songs are really not that great.  He is legitimately iconic in Europe playing massive arenas and formerly was like 1 of every three videos on MTV when it played music. His cultural penetration there is on par with maybe someone like Justin Timberlake. 
 

 But, not for lack of trying, he just could not break through at all in the United States.  Americans have no clue who he is unless you’ve been overseas and mystified your European friends by not having a clue about one of the biggest stars in their world. It’s almost a running joke that we don’t care about him. 
 

And some genius at Paramount signed off on trying to promote his biopic, where he is played by a CGI ape, in a country that famously has no clue who he is. The movie took in something like one million on opening weekend, it’s a complete fiasco. 

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About 4 years ago on a work conference call a British co-worker said something about Robbie Williams. When I responded who? He was stunned that I had no idea who the hell he was. 

To make it even funnier, apparently Robbie Williams was a member of a boy band called Take That, which was apparently as big as NSYNC or backstreet boys.  I'd never heard of them either. My Brit coworker did not believe me. 

Sorry man, that's just some Euro trash

 

 

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I have absolutely no idea who he is. I thought I must be missing something about him. My music history knowledge on rock is middle of the road at best though. I contemplated watching this just to try and figure out who he is, but I’ll skip it. I’ll wait for the Peyton Manning giraffe biopic. 

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7 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

 

”So here’s the film, it’s a biopic about this mega pop star.  Only no one in America knows who he is or can name one of his songs.  I’m telling you, he’s a complete nobody here. A zero.  

 But it won’t be him in the movie, it will be a chimp.  Only maybe it’s all in his head? No one ever mentions it in the movie.  It’s not clear, but everyone else in the movie are people and he’s a singing ape.  That’s the hook. 
 

I’m telling you this will do numbers!”

 

there had to be at least one sane person sitting in on that pitch like

 

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my favorite Robbie Williams story is when he had already obtained ultra-mega star level in UK/Europe, and then they booked him to play Club de Ville at SXSW in the early aughts.  They did not have tea for him and he was nonplussed.  

Was unaware of the existence of Take That until Derry Girls 

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11 hours ago, mchookem said:

i know who he is, i actually  like a few of his songs. im not even sure Timberlake could draw this kind of crowd.

having said that... this movie looks weird af and certainly not a draw in the US. what a boneheaded move lol.

I've definitely heard of him and knew he was huge over there. I thought he'd actually done a Bond theme but after researching, it appears he did not.

That crowd size in the YT vid is absolutely insane. I know a little of his stuff but mostly when used in movies or shows. Haven't sought it out. The song/performance in the YT definitely appeals to me long before Justin Timberlake would. I'm a sucker for British music.

(I doubt I will be catching this movie.)

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I lived in London in '99 and he was EVERYWHERE - that was at the height of "I've Been Expecting You" (his 2nd solo album that was his biggest seller) and the dude was inescapable on radio, TV, subway posters, tabloids - you name it.  That was the album they thought would really break him in the states, but aside from a few dalliances with the Hot 100/Top 40 charts, he never did anything - which brings us to this completely incomprehensible decision by Paramount to drop coin on this film for the US market (although it's gotten strong reviews).

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14 hours ago, 0xdeadbeef said:

About 4 years ago on a work conference call a British co-worker said something about Robbie Williams. When I responded who? He was stunned that I had no idea who the hell he was. 

To make it even funnier, apparently Robbie Williams was a member of a boy band called Take That, which was apparently as big as NSYNC or backstreet boys.  I'd never heard of them either. My Brit coworker did not believe me. 

Sorry man, that's just some Euro trash

 

 

I know you’ve heard this song before, maybe three decades ago.

 

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5 hours ago, hornmpa96 said:

Hold on - This is an actual biopic but they replaced the main character with a chimp. I saw the preview before seeing Nosferatu and had no idea this was about an actual person.

How did this ever get the green light?

Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden

Is he completely replaced by a chimp or just his head replaced by a chimp head?

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13 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

I know you’ve heard this song before, maybe three decades ago.

I don't know a single Take That song but I do know Robbie Williams since he was massive in Europe when I would travel there on business.  He had two hits here and the last time I saw anything about him, he was doing the opening ceremony for the WC in Russia.  I guess Taylor is a fan...

 

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15 hours ago, veritas aequitas said:

About the only thing I remember him ever doing was a music video where he ripped all of his flesh off. Saw it while very drunk and could never un-see it, but never wanted to see it again sober.

Rock DJ. When I was studying in London in 2003 we’d go to that upstairs pub in Covent Garden occasionally.  They had a video jukebox.  I’d always put that video on 5x repeat on my way out.  I was cool.  

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