2018 Houston Astros Season Thread

[Gut Wagon 8165]

I’m saddened to see Gattis in the lineup. And even sadder to know he had our only hit last night. 

[TexArcher 38449]

Good afternoon, y'all.

Fuck the Rangers.

[UTexasFight 9670]

I’m saddened to see Gattis in the lineup. And even sadder to know he had our only hit last night. 

I think we’ll have a heavy dose of Gattis through the Angels series. If he’s still hovering around .190, I think it’s White or Davis time

The first quarter of the season is done. I think that’s about as much rope as you give a guy

[Rimbo 26484]

If we can't get more than one hit against Fister I'm going to scream like a little bitch getting a dry assfucking.

[Scraps 13605]

Morton throwing that doctored up spinner woooooo

[TexArcher 38449]

Only way we should have fewer than 7 hits off of Fister is if we get 6 in the first and he gets yanked.

[Hank Chinaski 6324]

So we're at a 12-inning scoreless streak and counting...

Why does it seem like we have one of these every single week?

[DoobieWah 1477]

Because you're observant?

[Scraps 13605]

This ump is fucking trash

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Terrible call. McCann was right. 

[TexArcher 38449]

Son of a bitch.

[Mo Horn 8900]

Unless our bats wake up that may be enough for them

[Scraps 13605]

Fuck the Rangers

[TexArcher 38449]

There we go.  Took that run right back.

[DoobieWah 1477]

WOOOOOOO!

[Planet Houston 4943]

El Oso delivers, wow. 

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Manufacturing some runs. 

[Tim Beck 20]

El Oso Blanco is out of hibernation folks 

[Scraps 13605]

Wtf Gattis steal lol.....awesome

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Turnip the beets!!

[Planet Houston 4943]

C’mon Jose. Reward Oso for his third career steal. 

[TexArcher 38449]

Go sit down, Gallo, you .200 meathead.

[DoobieWah 1477]

McCannonball.

[Scraps 13605]

As we all know... McCann Can

[Seasick Sailor 3747]

Charlie is dealing. 

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Nasty, nastier, nastiest

10 Ks

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

31 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

Turnip the beets!!

x2

[Seasick Sailor 3747]

el oso!!!!

[Horny Bull 2766]

Osooooooooo

[Scraps 13605]

.

[TexArcher 38449]

Shit, Nomar didn't like that at all!

[Planet Houston 4943]

I love Charlie Morton. Fuck you, Rangers. 

[HtownHorn 14997]

There you go Morton. That's how you throw a purpose pitch.

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Fuck him and his team. 

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

12 Ks thru 6

[Seasick Sailor 3747]

Fuck you, Mazara. Sit down, bitch.

[Gut Wagon 8165]

Out of hibernation a little later than hoped for...but at least he’s now stirring. Maybe this gets everyone else going, too. 

Edited May 13, 2018 by Gut Wagon

[Doug E. Fresh 452]

About time we threw at someone.  We’ve taken our lumps all year, guys throwing inside on us more, and that’s the first time we’ve struck back.  Well done Charlie.

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

They are having too much sex at home. 

[TexArcher 38449]

This is promising.  Let's blow this thing open then put one in Rougie's hip.  Or hit one of their good players.  Wait, they don't have any.  Just hit Rougie.

[Mo Horn 8900]

2 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

This is promising.  Let's blow this thing open then put one in Rougie's hip.  Or hit one of their good players.  Wait, they don't have any.  Just hit Rougie.

Or not 

[TexArcher 38449]

That inning does not fuck.

[Scraps 13605]

I like how julia handles the meat

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Matt Clark is a lucky man. 

[TonyTexas 10592]

I literally love Charlie Fucking Morton. How much is going to cost us next year? I know he really likes it here.

[Dr. Teeth 5863]

Rough Odor 

14 Ks

[Smax 3800]

charlie fucking morton

[DoobieWah 1477]

Charlie with 2Ks/Inning?

Not bad at all.

 

[Gut Wagon 8165]

Now let’s pad the lead. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Gut Wagon said:

I’m saddened to see Gattis in the lineup. And even sadder to know he had our only hit last night. 

The only thing funnier than this post is that my wife just asked me if I invented "Charlie Fucking Morton."

 

"Does everyone call him that?"

 

"When he gets 13k, they do..."

 

Wat to go Osos Blanco.  Way to go CFM!!!

Edited May 13, 2018 by slorch