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2018 Houston Astros Season Thread


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15 minutes ago, WBT said:

Hmm, wonder if Osuna will be demoted and traded like Oberholtzer was.  After he got away with the woman beating they'll probably have to let this slide too

as far as mlb is concerned, he didn't really "get away" with it.  i like that our guys use him as the revenge pitcher though.

listen, we don't know you that well, and we're not sure that we like you yet, so please hit someone with 2 outs, kthx.

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From 2005...

Scioscia's Bloody Vagina

 
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What a fucking asshat. What a god damn disgrace. What a fucking embarrassment to our national pasttime. Yeah, I'm talking about Ken Macha, but I'm also talking about Mike Scioscia. Where I come from, we have a word we use to describe people who act like Scioscia: fat pussy fuckface. I mean, look at this fucking loser. I don't want to say that he looks a lot like the Kool-Aid Man, but jeez, the resemblance is a just a little more than uncanny.

It's also nice to see that a grown man is capable of wearing a baseball hat, and not look like a complete fucking idiot. Scioscia has totally pulled the bill down far enough over his fat head that he totally doesn't look like a Special Olympian. Oh, wait. Guess he does. Sorry, Mike. I hope you win. But if you cannot win, I hope you're at least brave in the attempt. You fat fucking assclown. And I also hope Steve Physioc wins whatever event he'll be entered in. His disability, you ask? Well, as a child, instead of being born with a brain, he was just born with more hair.

So Mike: If you want to be taken seriously, quit with the fucking gamesmanship. It was annoying six years ago. Nowadays, I would dance a fucking jig if you were mauled by a wild llama or something. Seriously, it doesn't do anything except piss people off. Your pathetic little lineup can't hit Zito. It can't hit Street. It couldn't hit Mulder, and it couldn't hit Hudson. So stop worrying about bracelets. Or toes on rubbers. Or balks. But if you like, you can worry about how your own scab of a pitcher is a dirty, filthy, fucking cheater. Or maybe you could give Vlad a god damn tube of toothpaste, and tell him his ugly teeth wouldn't be so god damn green if he'd just brush them every once in a while. 

Scioscia is a fucking disgrace. 

Also, I haven't forgotten about Macha. He's a disgrace, too. But I shouldn't make any jokes about him until the city workers are done cleaning the pigeon crap off of him. You know, because he's a statue? Get it?
 
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I fell asleep and missed the late inning dramatics. FUCK MIKE SCIOSCIA. 

That Altuve HBP was terrifying and deserved retribution. I'm glad that Osuna stepped up and dotted Ohtani on the backside, that was a no doubt about it message pitch and it was safely delivered. Very well done on his part. Them hitting Gurriel afterwards is fucking garbage. 

Trout needs to wake up tomorrow with a big fat knot on his left elbow. 

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3 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

 

Our MiLB teams are a collective 92 games over 500. We have a lot of pitching depth even with all the recent trades. Very good at 1st and middle infield. Lacking it at 3rd and in the OF. Could be a reason they want hang on to Fisher. Looks like we have a good and underrated draft this year also. A lot more pitching. Beer looks like a hitter. McKenna and International signee Machado are worth keeping an eye on.

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