Six months of farts online can get you fired.

[Beau Vine 54238]

 

 

 

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vbjkg3/this-security-guard-filmed-all-his-farts-for-six-months-and-went-viral

 

Spoiler

 

The internet’s next viral star is a security guard at a Florida hospital who spent the last six months publicly logging his sonically-perfect farts on Instagram. Now the 31-year-old is poised to turn his flash-in-the-bedpan success into a lucrative brand that can be summed up by his Instagram bio: The Fart Authority.

His first name is Doug (he declined to give VICE his last name, or the name of the hospital), but the Kevin James-looking everyman is known on his 20,000 follower-strong Instagram account as Paul Flart, a stinky offshoot of mall cop Paul Blart. On Wednesday, a video compilation of his most memorable ass clappers earned over 374,000 views after shooting to the top of Reddit’s r/videos forum. Now he has followers from all over the world. “It transcends all languages. There’s no translation necessary, it’s just funny,” he told VICE over the phone.

During a lull in the shift, Flart had an epiphany. “The lobby has really great acoustics, and naturally, we all fart. One day I ripped a rather nice one and got really good sound from it, so the next time it happened I recorded it and sent it to my group chat,” he said. Flart’s friends loved it, and suggested he take his show on the information superhighway. They helped him brainstorm names until Paul Flart was suggested, and it stuck.

 

On March 25, 2018 he posted his first bottom burp to Instagram. For six months, he farted through his shifts at the hospital, publishing each for a small but loyal crowd that grew to 500 Instagram followers. Then, much like his flatulence, his follow count exploded.

 

Spoiler

 

On August 19, Flart jumped from 500 followers to 5,000. The cause? His videos had been compiled and published on social media accounts for the popular men’s interest site Barstool Sports. Less than a week later, he’s nearly quadrupled that sum. His followers’ comments are devoted to enthusiastically describing each slice of freshly-cut cheese. “Just a leetle toot,” wrote @ceytsprivetdrv on one. “That was a wet fart,” @nick_drumtechnick waxed eloquent on another.

Flart said since his explosive rise in followers, the feedback in his DMs has grown even more personal. “I’ve had people from Holland and Germany and the UK sending me DMs and saying it’s the greatest thing ever. This brightens their day. Some people said their week has been so shitty and then they find my videos and then they're laughing and they're happy about it and it brings them joy, which to me is great. Like I'm all about that. I couldn't ask for better stuff," he said. "Um, I had a guy, I'm sure he was joking, but he's like, 'I stopped doing heroin for you.'"

Fame, of course, isn’t free, and Flart has paid the price. When he arrived to work Thursday morning, he was asked to turn in the badge and uniform that have become iconic set pieces in his fartwork. He live streamed his firing on Instagram...

The footage above could be ripped straight from Office Space. His supervisor asks him to stop recording. He calmly declines. His supervisor points out that he violated the private security company’s policy about using phones on the job “an unusually high amount of times.” On top of that, he recorded himself while wearing the company uniform on a client’s private property. Flart denies nothing, refuses to sign the report detailing his behavior—”It’s irrelevant, at this point”—and walks away.

Flart’s so calm because he’s already thinking about the next steps of his viral career. “My thought process is just run with this and see where this goes,” he said. He’s already making Paul Flart merchandise. He's got a Patreon. He’s enlisted friends who make music videos and do graphic design to take him to the next level. He figures it’s just a matter of time before he starts getting letters from viral star managers, like Roy Purdy career-maker Sam Leigh.

 

“We live in a society where this is the big popular thing right now, but next week, unless I'm doing more than keeping it going, it's going to be nothing,” he said. “We’re going to keep making content. We can do Paul Flart on vacation, you know, throw in like a Hawaiian shirt and a hat of some sort and then just fart around Florida. We’re just going to keep going.”

Doug has realized who he really is: he's Paul Flart. To riff on AndréGide, maybe it’s better to be fired for being who you are than employed for who you are not.

 

 

 

 

[YoungCounty 165]

Towards the end of the video, he looked bored and hoping to be fired anyways. 

[mulletpelini 5211]

That butthole sounds pretty worn out.

[Newdoc 3443]

5 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

That butthole sounds pretty worn out.

Mullet has teed it up. Who’s gonna take it?

[Doze 1322]

That mustache is more offensive than farts.

 

"Fat, stupid mustache and dumb is no way to go thru life, son"

[Humpy 112]

He should be posting in the shart thread, sure sounded like some wet ones in there.

[HenryJames 66080]

Nothing but respect for MY president.

[GotThatFire 166]