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Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you


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Posted

The comdom is so when the stripper grinds on your crotch you don't nut up in your skivvies and spend the rest of the night in your own jizz. The Magnum is because you're also wearing a sock on your cock.

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Posted

Smell of a new can of tennis balls. Watching some early wimbeldon and got me thinking.   Probably haven't opened a can in a decade, but got damn I can still smell it. 

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Posted
On 6/26/2019 at 8:35 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

A good coffee mug, like one you find in a diner, not some cheap-ass one that chips if you look at it the wrong way.

My current favorite

il_794xN.1114052064_hvtk.jpg

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Posted

Collecting seashells on the beach during our vacation. My kids say someday I'm going to be the weird old man on the beach who coaches the little kids on how best to collect seashells. 

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Posted

The battery was going bad on my son's iphone 6.  He saved up enough from his summer job to buy himself a nice new iphone XR last week and graciously (with some parental encouragement) offered to give his sister his old phone to replace her ancient iphone 5.  I ordered a battery replacement kit from ifixit for about $25, and it came today.  It took me about an hour, but I got the battery replaced with no mistakes and it worked perfectly when I powered it up.  Those tiny screws inside were a bitch for my old eyes. I ended up dropping one of them into the carpet, but managed to find it quickly.  I feel pretty good about myself right now.

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Posted

Bought a new grass trimmer today after nursing a shitty one for years now. It was so wonderful to kill every overgrown blade of grass that have been hanging out for a long time now. Then I moved on to killing weeds that crept into the cracks in the driveway. Finished with clearing off our back porch. It's so clean now. 

Posted
1 minute ago, mdmost said:

Bought a new grass trimmer today after nursing a shitty one for years now. It was so wonderful to kill every overgrown blade of grass that have been hanging out for a long time now. Then I moved on to killing weeds that crept into the cracks in the driveway. Finished with clearing off our back porch. It's so clean now. 

What did you get? I've always been a gas guy but I'm about sick and tired of screwing with carbs. Especially with the new electric stuff. 

Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, pops said:

What did you get? I've always been a gas guy but I'm about sick and tired of screwing with carbs. Especially with the new electric stuff. 

Just a simple 7.5 amp Black and Decker. I prefer corded as I have outdoor plugs in the front and back of my house and a long enough cord to get every spot. Battery ones are probably nice but I don't want to hassle with battery pack recharging. Also have an electric blower and edger. Though the trimmer has the ability to switch to an edger. Still, like the big blade on the edger. 

https://www.blackanddecker.com/products/lawn-and-garden/lawn/string-trimmers/75-amp-14-in-trimmeredger/gh3000

Edited by mdmost
Posted

We have the E-Go trimmer and blower, powerful little tools.  We're looking to do the mower for next season, the trimmer is self loading which is nice.  I'm trying to get away from gas/bs mixture as much as possible, snow blower will be the only gas tool we'll have left. 

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Posted

Finally my dipshit neighbor across the street broke down and pruned the horrible treebush monstrosity that had completely overgrown and hung down touching the sidewalk and out to the curb making it impossible to walk on the sidewalk.  

Of course, he left all the pruned limbs and debris unbound and piled on the sidewalk but a start is a start.  Perhaps the trash fairies may come by and pick it all up.  I'm sure that's his plan. 

 

Posted
On 7/6/2019 at 6:06 PM, pops said:

What did you get? I've always been a gas guy but I'm about sick and tired of screwing with carbs. Especially with the new electric stuff. 

Image result for trufuel

 

Never worry with mixed gas again, therefore gummed up carbs. 

Posted

I have an old 14 inch Weber grill, a charcoal chimney.

Have mastered that little sumbitch... steak, seafood, veggies, eggs in a cast iron skillet.

Experience, instinct and common sense can lead to some great food for 2.

Posted (edited)

the (recorded, audio) commentary on Russian dashcam (car crash videos) always makes me smile-- I don't even know what I'm hearing, something along the lines of "nice move, you fuckin' dipshit", but there's this kind of laconic shrugginess to the way the drivers talk

Edited by SwanderedTalent
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Posted
50 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

the (recorded, audio) commentary on Russian dashcam (car crash videos) always makes me smile-- I don't even know what I'm hearing, something along the lines of "nice move, you fuckin' dipshit", but there's this kind of laconic shrugginess to the way the drivers talk

the complete lack of audible reaction on dashcam when that meteor exploded over central russia several years back was amazing

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Posted (edited)

When you are on the final leg of two leg flight, the first being 13 hours with 3 hours to go, and they bump you to first class as you"re boarding.    

Edited by RollLeft
Posted

I enjoy celebrating fake Christmas in July, the same way I celebrate regularass real Christmas, by buying myself presents when they are on sale.

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Posted

When I was in high school my older sister had a cat that I hated. One day a blue jay attached it and pulled out most of its whiskers. Unfortunately the phone cord wouldn’t reach to the back yard so I was unable to take any video of it to post online.

 

Posted

Just a good ol' greasy, small-town Texas cafe bacon cheeseburger. Doesn't have to be the best -- your average small town Texas cafe bacon cheeseburger will do. Especially if the soft drinks are served in red plastic cups, and there's a case on the counter with apple and pecan pies.

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Just a good ol' greasy, small-town Texas cafe bacon cheeseburger. Doesn't have to be the best -- your average small town Texas cafe bacon cheeseburger will do. Especially if the soft drinks are served in red plastic cups, and there's a case on the counter with apple and pecan pies.

Now that's the good stuff, my man. There is a little Dairy King in a town, population maybe 200,  halfway between where I live and my lake house. I stop in there when I have the time and get a double burger with bacon, crinkle cut fries, and a cold Dr Pepper. Little slice of heaven right there. 

Edited by lateshow
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Posted (edited)

Pro tip: If your preferred peanut butter comes in a plastic jar, you can squeeze the sides after opening and take a bite of the extruded PB log without using any utensils whatsoever.

Plus, it's funny. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Posted
I just slapped together a taco out of reheated eggs and sausage left over from breakfast this morning. I don't believe any human invention before or since can match the glory of a good tortilla.
Do you even steel shank thread, bro?

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