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Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you


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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, BladeRunnerRock said:

When you get a facetime call from your daughter in the middle of a work day and the first thing you hear is your fussy 17 month old grandson.....and then he sees you on the screen and becomes the happiest little turd nugget in the world.

Spoiler alert: he's a replicant. 

More baby than baby. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
Posted
On 8/4/2020 at 9:01 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I prefer to scoop up that little bastard with a French fry before eating anything else. 

I prefer using one of the crispy ends of bacon that’s poking out from under the bun...

Posted
On 6/19/2020 at 2:46 AM, RPM said:

Pulling into Spec's parking lot 1 minute before closing time and employees hold the door open for me.

“I’m an alcoholic” thread is two exits down....

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Posted
On 8/9/2020 at 5:36 PM, Ignatius said:

“I’m an alcoholic” thread is two exits down....

 

Nah, we were at Spec's 11 hours earlier.  By 8:59pm we were already passed out.

Posted

Just found out that my brother got LASIK on a whim so I texted this to him:

H҉o҉w҉ i҉n҉t҉e҉r҉e҉s҉t҉i҉n҉g҉ - h҉o҉p҉e҉ t҉h҉e҉ L҉A҉S҉I҉K҉ o҉p҉e҉r҉a҉t҉i҉o҉n҉ i҉s҉ a҉ g҉r҉e҉a҉t҉ s҉u҉c҉c҉e҉s҉s҉!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Making a PB&J with only brand new components - fresh bread, room temperature jelly, and peanut butter that hasn't begun to develop that metallic taste that happens when you buy too big of a jar. At our house at least, it seems like the three ingredients are very rarely on synchronized schedules. 

Plus, as long as you are using peanut butter that comes in a plastic jar, you also get to squeeze its sides to make it poop and unpoop a few times before you make your sandwich. 

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Posted

I'm going to see an end user on-site tomorrow for a safety audit. As the president on my company I dont get to do this much any longer because busy.

Pretty excited, as in not really a work day because for a monent I will be able to let other worries not matter. It will approach a day off in my book.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
15 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Wife and I checked into the hospital yesterday to induce labor on our first baby. My brother had to go to Shreveport for work yesterday through Saturday.  So when he’s leaving I give him a $20 bill and instruct him to go to the roulette wheel and place a single spin bet on 32.    
 

At 1:15 this morning while I’m trying to sleep on these God-forsaken hospital couches, I get this:

$20 Down on 32.  Pays out $720!!!

Got yo money mothafucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and another from his co-worker to a group text with friends: 

 

This M-fer gets $20 from Trey to put on 32 and he hits. Trey if you don’t get your $720 that’s your brothers fault.

 

So I’ll be welcoming my daughter to the world at some point today, and I’ll have a lucky $720 to boot    
 

that pleases the shit out of me   

 

82F09A8E-0CA9-4330-84D6-1C0E36E33AF5.jpeg

Ima need to know the make and model of that watch.

Posted

Well, I’m sitting in the NICU in Temple while my wife is in recovery in Waco.   Sweet daughter has esophageal atresia and will have to have surgery in coming days.  Not the ideal thing to find out when she’s 3 hours old.  But she’s doing well outside of that.  I’m running on fumes, and mama is thankfully resting.   

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Posted
Well, I’m sitting in the NICU in Temple while my wife is in recovery in Waco.   Sweet daughter has esophageal atresia and will have to have surgery in coming days.  Not the ideal thing to find out when she’s 3 hours old.  But she’s doing well outside of that.  I’m running on fumes, and mama is thankfully resting.   

Tell her Surly is pulling for her!


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Posted

Congrats on becoming a father.

Hopefully it all goes well for you daughter and wife.  Legit thoughts and prayers  for you and them.  

Wife and kids health during childbirth scared the fuck out of me.  It’s a unbelievable thing when you think about it.  My wife had a bleeding issue right after our second was born.  They handed me our second and informed me of the issue saying it was, “serious” then left the room.  That was heavy duty shit for a few hours.

 

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Posted

Seeing a post with 9 likes, liking it, refreshing the page and seeing the banner on their post.

Not sure why but I know if I see a post with 9 likes, I'm giving you the 10th even if you just posted the stupidest thing I've read in my life.

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Posted
On 9/26/2020 at 11:02 AM, Incredulity said:

Congrats on becoming a father.

Hopefully it all goes well for you daughter and wife.  Legit thoughts and prayers  for you and them.  

Wife and kids health during childbirth scared the fuck out of me.  It’s a unbelievable thing when you think about it.  My wife had a bleeding issue right after our second was born.  They handed me our second and informed me of the issue saying it was, “serious” then left the room.  That was heavy duty shit for a few hours.

 

damn, talk about bringing back memories.

Daughter was born in April 2006. It was a difficult delivery, she was face up instead of face down, couldn't get past the pelvic bone. After 8+ hours of pushing, Doc decided she needed to have a C-section. That was done, LORD do NOT ever look past the curtain. 10 pm.

After they both are brought into the room, my wife is paler than normal (ginger) Doc checks and sees that there is still bleeding, and doesn't seem to be stopping. They wheel her back into the operating room, leaving me with our hours old daughter. For a couple hours, I'm sitting there alone with a newborn, wondering what to do if the worst happens. Eventually they wheel her back into the room, saying that by the time they opened her up again and looked, the bleeding had stopped. oh and of course, she had some issues with the anesthesia, which caused them to leave her in recovery a little longer.

 

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Posted

I'm truly glad everything turned out okay for y'all.  It amazes me sometimes how difficult and dangerous human childbirth can be.  The pain, the intense long labor, and all of the health risks.  

 

Then there are these asshole seahorses who just say "screw it" and shoot thousands of kids out of their blowhole in seconds.  Nature is weird.

 

 

Posted

Couldn’t decide where to post this, but a couple Apache’s just flew right over my house. They were super low. House was shaking and I couldn’t hear the tv over the sound they made. Fuckin cool, man

Posted

I’m on a Teams meeting where only the initials of the participants are shown and one user, “BM”, posted in the chat “I have to drop”.

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Posted
On 9/30/2020 at 9:51 PM, Tom said:

I'm truly glad everything turned out okay for y'all.  It amazes me sometimes how difficult and dangerous human childbirth can be.  The pain, the intense long labor, and all of the health risks.  

 

Then there are these asshole seahorses who just say "screw it" and shoot thousands of kids out of their blowhole in seconds.  Nature is weird.

 

 

I'm thinking the male gives birth.  Poor bastage.

Posted

My cellphone bill dropping $30 and then remembering...hey, I've had my phone right at 2 yea...

 

Fuck yeah!  That bitch is paid for!!!

Posted
On 9/30/2020 at 9:51 PM, Tom said:

I'm truly glad everything turned out okay for y'all.  It amazes me sometimes how difficult and dangerous human childbirth can be.  The pain, the intense long labor, and all of the health risks.  

 

Then there are these asshole seahorses who just say "screw it" and shoot thousands of kids out of their blowhole in seconds.  Nature is weird.

 

 

For some reason this is the first thing that popped into my mind ...

tenor.gif

Posted

I changed jobs about 6 months ago. After putting up with stupid shit from a stupid asshole for the better part of four years, I'd had enough.

I now have a better job, with better co-workers,  better management, and better pay. The commute is 30 miles vs. 7, but it's worth it.

Getting to the point: every so often I'll get an urge to google my former employer and read some reviews, like I did this morning. 

Six new bad ones, no good ones. People complaining about everything from dude's condescending attitude and comments, to the bills he hits them with. Followed by him commenting back in a defensive manner, followed by another bad review, singling out him and his shitty attitude.

This pleases me immensely. 

 

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Posted
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Heated towel rack, and heated bathroom floor

 

All I need is heated toilet seat to complete the trifecta

Yes, the heated towel rack is among life’s great pleasures. Installed one when we built this house 5 years ago, and wonder how I got along for so long without it. 

Posted
This now provides me the same feeling that a fresh carton of Marlboro Reds once did back in the day. 
 
 
20201024_235235.thumb.jpg.ea1b29fa6a358a41e152271edf31993b.jpg

Goddamn...I can remember when I used to smoke there was nothing better than a real Marlboro Red. It was like drinking a Coke. It was fantastic.
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Posted
13 minutes ago, Hate said:


Goddamn...I can remember when I used to smoke there was nothing better than a real Marlboro Red. It was like drinking a Coke. It was fantastic.

Marlboro Light team holla

(although Reds are a good cigarette - just not a fan of higher nic smokes)

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