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Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you


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Posted
On 9/4/2022 at 5:41 PM, ImissWallyPryor said:

Racial harmony pleases the ever living shit out of me. I found the most diverse metropolitan statistical area in the USA.

The 2010 census data (according to Wikipedia):

“The racial makeup of the town was 33.3% White, 33.3% Native American, and 33.3% from other races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 33.3% of the population.”

However, every utopia has a downside:

The gender makeup of the town was 100.0% male and 0.0% female.”

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Rock,_South_Dakota

 

Sounds like a few of the Village People are just hanging out together. 

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Posted

The smell of fresh cash money. Not just money but fresh mint condition bills. If you could bottle that fragrance and wear it as cologne, I’ll bet you would slay. And no one would know why.

I keep a poker/gambling bankroll (poker mostly isn’t gambling) that is separate from my walking around money. When I collect winnings in crumpled, used bills, I’ll replace them with crisp mint condition bills that I receive from an ATM or an automated cashier. Mint condition bills take up a lot less space than old, crinkly bills.

They also smell better. There’s something about that smell. (Ooh, that smell.) I know it’s the paper and the ink and there’s a whole big exotic process of printing our currency. But man, it’s intoxicating. 

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Posted
On 9/10/2022 at 8:36 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

The smell of fresh cash money. Not just money but fresh mint condition bills. If you could bottle that fragrance and wear it as cologne, I’ll bet you would slay. And no one would know why.

I keep a poker/gambling bankroll (poker mostly isn’t gambling) that is separate from my walking around money. When I collect winnings in crumpled, used bills, I’ll replace them with crisp mint condition bills that I receive from an ATM or an automated cashier. Mint condition bills take up a lot less space than old, crinkly bills.

They also smell better. There’s something about that smell. (Ooh, that smell.) I know it’s the paper and the ink and there’s a whole big exotic process of printing our currency. But man, it’s intoxicating. 

Do you have a spreadsheet to track your winnings and losses?

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Posted

Waking up to see that you have a lot more rep than normal and fearing that you said some stupid shit after a couple of drinks, then checking on it and realizing that you did no such thing.

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Posted

It's "toeing the line," not "towing the line."  If everyone is lined up shoulder to shoulder perfectly on a line, with their toes on it, they are perfectly in order.  That's what the phrase means.  It isn't about pulling some string or something.  We are an educated group.  Let's get this right.  

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Posted
On 9/14/2022 at 9:40 AM, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

It's "toeing the line," not "towing the line."  If everyone is lined up shoulder to shoulder perfectly on a line, with their toes on it, they are perfectly in order.  That's what the phrase means.  It isn't about pulling some string or something.  We are an educated group.  Let's get this right.  

Sounds like it makes you surly when people use the wrong phrase. Are you sure you’re in the right thread?

By the same token, “on track” is a good thing. If you’re on a train, you want to be on track. Getting “untracked” is a bad thing. Same deal. Get it right.

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Posted

I give my daughter a big hug and a kiss on the forehead everyday to say good morning. It doesn't matter how late we are, and how much stuff we need to do to get out the door. But It's worth the 10 seconds to let her know I love her.

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Posted

I go to KFC about once a year.  Usually alone - go through the drive through for take out.  I know it’s not good but for whatever reason every now and then I want some.

So I go today and I order the three piece.  Dude on the mic says “what side would you like?”  I very clearly said “mashed potatoes and gravy.”

He said “Cole slaw - ok.”

I said “mashed potatoes sir, no Cole slaw,” to which he replied “got it.”

I suspect 98% of people that go through that drive through every day get the potatoes.  I suspect the other 2 percent don’t order their sucky Cole slaw.

Nobody ever orders the fucking slaw and we all know it.  This is as certain as sunrise.

But that dude, to brighten up his day and entertain himself, he fucks with people.  I bet he does that 200 times a day and gets all variety of dickhead comments. and he gets laughs and the satisfaction that can only come from being in control of something so minute and toying with it.

This Brightened my day.  Carry on KFC man - I like your style.

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Posted
2 hours ago, CoTex said:

I go to KFC about once a year.  Usually alone - go through the drive through for take out.  I know it’s not good but for whatever reason every now and then I want some.

So I go today and I order the three piece.  Dude on the mic says “what side would you like?”  I very clearly said “mashed potatoes and gravy.”

He said “Cole slaw - ok.”

I said “mashed potatoes sir, no Cole slaw,” to which he replied “got it.”

I suspect 98% of people that go through that drive through every day get the potatoes.  I suspect the other 2 percent don’t order their sucky Cole slaw.

Nobody ever orders the fucking slaw and we all know it.  This is as certain as sunrise.

But that dude, to brighten up his day and entertain himself, he fucks with people.  I bet he does that 200 times a day and gets all variety of dickhead comments. and he gets laughs and the satisfaction that can only come from being in control of something so minute and toying with it.

This Brightened my day.  Carry on KFC man - I like your style.

He gets a cut on slaw sales.

Posted
8 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

He gets a cut on slaw sales.

I bet that it gets really interesting when he pulls that shit on some stressed out soccer mom with a carload of screaming kids and some complicated celiac/gluten friendly order.  And I bet that dude runs the same play then with great satisfaction.  Not going so far over the line that they ask for the manager, but just far enough to get the blood pressure up.  A clever little move.

Posted
2 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Stroking Mrs. Brat’s thighs early in the morning before we get out of bed.

Very well done between the two threads, AB. 

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Posted

Receiving a professional feedback request today for my boss who was fired Friday.

Not sure it's gonna help, but i did get a good laugh.

Posted

There's an app that lets you report litterers in Texas.  Idiots tossing cigarette butts, trash blowing out of the beds of bro dozers, etc.  I don't know if anything actually happens (I read once that TXDOT sends them a litterbag and a note indicating the report), but it's awfully satisfying to actually do something when you see that happen.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/litterer/id882082348

Posted
1 minute ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

and peppered.  The thought of cantaloupe ice cream fascinates me.

My brother was in the Pacific Northwest last summer and tied into some blue cheese and pear ice cream. He said he thought it was a joke at first so he tried a scoop and it was the best ice cream he’s ever had. 

Posted
14 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

and peppered.  The thought of cantaloupe ice cream fascinates me.

Why did the melons have a church wedding?

’Cause they cantaloupe. 
 

I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

My brother was in the Pacific Northwest last summer and tied into some blue cheese and pear ice cream. He said he thought it was a joke at first so he tried a scoop and it was the best ice cream he’s ever had. 

GIF by Giphy QA

Posted

Riding a nice buzz and happy on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. All is well in my world.

 The coming drunk and happy post will be on the bama/aggy thread later tonight. 

Posted
42 minutes ago, nnm said:

It’s dust. Household dust is 20-50% dead skin cells. You like the smell of burning flesh, Jeffrey. 
 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dust#:~:text=Dust in homes is composed,–50% dead skin cells.

No it’s not. The A/C uses the same system. Floors get vacuumed. Filters get replaced. It’s not the scent of burning dead skin cells. I know what that smells like. That ain’t it. 

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Posted
10 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

My brother was in the Pacific Northwest last summer and tied into some blue cheese and pear ice cream. He said he thought it was a joke at first so he tried a scoop and it was the best ice cream he’s ever had. 

These guys ever get a shop in Texas (they're mostly west coast, but have expanded to Miami), give them a try.

They do a pretty good job with unique blended flavors: the Halloween selection includes bugs, the November edition has had fried turkey skin and dressing in a variety.

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Posted
4 hours ago, Superhero said:

What did you eat and where?

Last month i was in Monterrey and ate at Las Pompas, brazilian steakhouse.  They served all the same cuts we have here plus a few Mexican versions.  Also the salad bar was all the items we have here plus many Mexican options.  Price was $15 per head vs whatever we pay here.  I think 50-60$?

Today i'm in Manila and ate a joint equivalent to Beck's Prime.  Only a burger and fries but instead of paying 20-25$ i paid $3.5.  It was every bit as good, even bigger, as Becks and frankly at that price it was better.      

Posted

I like picking my ear with an ear spoon. I think it’s an ASMR thing. I’ll do it at least once a week and get a few flakes here and there.

Then I stumbled upon a YouTube channel dedicated to a ENT doc removing earwax. It’s like catnip for me. Can’t stop watching. 
 

 

Posted (edited)

Just took out another armadillo that lives under our back deck. Every night I go out before bed and try to spot them with the flashlight, almost every night they avoid me.
 

Not tonight mfer. Took 4 shots. First one missed  (I think).  Tough to line up the flashlight with the forward hand on the .22. Got him with two shots on the run and finished him as he was getting back under the deck. 
 

edit:  dug him out of the edge of the deck this morning. 
74F64C61-045F-4757-85B0-D8FCD71A7119.thumb.jpeg.f151ed93795b9b4281ca1971b476a957.jpeg

Edited by nnm
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Posted (edited)

One of my 1st grade students came in with a very unique hairdo this morning. They were kind of like pony tails, but on top of her head.I asked her if her mom did it, and she replied, "No.  I did".  I told her I liked it.  She told me she did it because she wanted to look like a Texas Longhorn.

Edited by Knoxtnhorn
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