Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you

[burntorangebongos 10,752]

 

[elfenix 34,332]

no unread messages!

[Underdog 28,773]

Beautiful weekend in NY Cap District so finally getting chance to burn all of the fallen tree limbs/branches that I was piling on back patio.  Doing that, I can see a pyromaniacs attraction to burning shit.  It’s rather pleasing to do. 

[nnm 36,638]

8 hours ago, Underdog said:

Beautiful weekend in NY Cap District so finally getting chance to burn all of the fallen tree limbs/branches that I was piling on back patio.  Doing that, I can see a pyromaniacs attraction to burning shit.  It’s rather pleasing to do. 

[Superhero 8,842]

This stupid song makes me smile and want to sing it along several times a day.

 

[Superhero 8,842]

Opening up my boy's report card to see he got all As except for art.

 

On the flip side, opening up my girl's report card to see all Bs. Even in math where she usually excels.

[GoPokes83 2,240]

Opening up my boy's report card to see he got all As except for art.
 
On the flip side, opening up my girl's report card to see all Bs. Even in math where she usually excels.

My kid’s autistic and struggles with math like a MF! She’s reduced to tears at least a couple times a week trying to do her homework. Somehow she’s making an A- on her report card. Super pleased but I wonder if they’re doing too much of her work for her at school, and she’ll wind up falling her 5th grade STAR tests miserably.

[HRSchenker 2,273]

Some bitch I blocked on Facebook 4 years ago is apparently still butt hurt about it. The only reason I know is because she tagged my wife demanding I unblock her. I guess my neighborhood Facebook group has a rule where you can't block admins? Fuck it! I'm keeping it the way it is 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

3 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Some bitch I blocked on Facebook 4 years ago is apparently still butt hurt about it. The only reason I know is because she tagged my wife demanding I unblock her. I guess my neighborhood Facebook group has a rule where you can't block admins? Fuck it! I'm keeping it the way it is 

If possible to do so in a manner that will leave no question in her mind whatsoever, unblock and then reblock immediately following her next post. 

[Guest]

Or just go take a dump on her front porch and shoot her the bird on the ring camera.

 

[Wally Pryor 5,263]

People that know the meaning of a Yield sign.

[HornsOverIthaca 2,335]

This scene:

 

 

...and being able to make GIFs from blu-rays

Edited November 24, 2022 by HornsOverIthaca

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

11 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

This scene:

 

 

...and being able to make GIFs from blu-rays

Excellent, except you cut it a few seconds early.  Gus' "sucks to be you" shrug as he settles back makes that scene perfect.

[nnm 36,638]

If you’re gonna post a gif clip from a movie, go to the GOAT. 

[Superhero 8,842]

My boy ran finished a 5K in 27:28 minutes today. That's a 8.5 min mile. Not bad for a 7 year old. I've never run that fast my entire life.

[SilasCoade 2,622]

That's great for a 7yo, but you are slow AF if you never broke an 8 minute mile pace.

[Mez2 4,025]

The post-Thanksgiving meal dump

[Brisketexan 105,336]

First time in….well, a long time, I did NOTHING today. No work. No errands. No chores.
Instead, slept in a bit. Coffee on the sofa watching the second WC match of the day wrap up. Leftover oyster dressing for breakfast. Then two more WC matches and a football game. A little afternoon quality time with the wife. Fire in the fireplace. Grilled cheese and tomato soup for a light dinner. Catching up on Andor.
This is both nothing special and glorious.

[dcbc 14,509]

28 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

First time in….well, a long time, I did NOTHING today. No work. No errands. No chores.
Instead, slept in a bit. Coffee on the sofa watching the second WC match of the day wrap up. Leftover oyster dressing for breakfast. Then two more WC matches and a football game. A little afternoon quality time with the wife. Fire in the fireplace. Grilled cheese and tomato soup for a light dinner. Catching up on Andor.
This is both nothing special and glorious.

[Superhero 8,842]

On 11/24/2022 at 2:09 PM, Superhero said:

My boy ran finished a 5K in 27:28 minutes today. That's a 8.5 min mile. Not bad for a 7 year old. I've never run that fast my entire life.

According to the official results, my boy came in 2nd in his 7 and under group. The kid who came in first did a blistering 6.5 minute mile. My wife being the detailed person she is, looked and found out the kid was 1 YO, and there was a picture of him in a stroller being pushed across the finish line. 

 

On 11/24/2022 at 2:30 PM, SilasCoade said:

That's great for a 7yo, but you are slow AF if you never broke an 8 minute mile pace.

Truf

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

9 hours ago, Superhero said:

According to the official results, my boy came in 2nd in his 7 and under group. The kid who came in first did a blistering 6.5 minute mile. My wife being the detailed person she is, looked and found out the kid was 1 YO, and there was a picture of him in a stroller being pushed across the finish line.

I hope you lodged a grievance with the sanctioning entity. This kind of rampant disrespect for law and order cannot go unchecked. 

[Superhero 8,842]

4 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I hope you lodged a grievance with the sanctioning entity. This kind of rampant disrespect for law and order cannot go unchecked. 

If course we’re going to protest this result, there is an extra $10 dollar Raising Canes gift card on the line here.

At the same time we’re going to give the parent a steroid test. Who in the world can do a 6.5 minute mile while pushing a stroller? Especially in a small town of 80,000. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

2 minutes ago, Superhero said:

If course we’re going to protest this result, there is an extra $10 dollar Raising Canes gift card on the line here.

At the same time we’re going to give the parent a steroid test. Who in the world can do a 6.5 minute mile while pushing a stroller? Especially in a small town of 80,000. 

Show those turds who's boss!!! 

[Armybrat 40,911]

Damn cheater….

 

 

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

My wife (no pictures, but she looks just like Lynda Carter) and I stumbled across a Scottish woman's YouTube channel the other day.  She shows how to cook typical Scottish dishes, so we watched a couple.  In one of them she mentioned serving the meat pie entree with balls o' doom, known to the rest of us as Brussels sprouts.  Henceforth, in my home, we shall call them balls o' doom, too.

[nnm 36,638]

12 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

My wife (no pictures, but she looks just like Lynda Carter) and I stumbled across a Scottish woman's YouTube channel the other day.  She shows how to cook typical Scottish dishes, so we watched a couple.  In one of them she mentioned serving the meat pie entree with balls o' doom, known to the rest of us as Brussels sprouts.  Henceforth, in my home, we shall call them balls o' doom, too.

What the hell is wrong with you?!?

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

1 minute ago, nnm said:

What the hell is wrong with you?!?

I don't have any pictures of her.  What's wrong with that?

[PvilleStang 2,921]

38 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

My wife (no pictures, but she looks just like Lynda Carter) and I stumbled across a Scottish woman's YouTube channel the other day.  She shows how to cook typical Scottish dishes, so we watched a couple.  In one of them she mentioned serving the meat pie entree with balls o' doom, known to the rest of us as Brussels sprouts.  Henceforth, in my home, we shall call them balls o' doom, too.

She looks like Lynda Carter, but she's shorter, and her face is different /LarryTheCableGuy

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

2 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

She looks like Lynda Carter, but she's shorter, and her face is different /LarryTheCableGuy

Maybe a little.

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

Sitting in my back yard smoking a couple of slabs of bacon with pecan, watching a Hairy Woodpecker work over the bark of an oak that died in the drought, and listening to two Sandhill Cranes circle overhead.  Nice, peaceful way to spend a vacation day.

[JTL2005 7]

1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Sitting in my back yard smoking a couple of slabs of bacon with pecan, watching a Hairy Woodpecker work over the bark of an oak that died in the drought, and listening to two Sandhill Cranes circle overhead.  Nice, peaceful way to spend a vacation day.

Not bad at all. Sounds like a very peaceful indeed

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Sitting in my back yard smoking a couple of slabs of bacon with pecan, watching a Hairy Woodpecker work over the bark of an oak that died in the drought, and listening to two Sandhill Cranes circle overhead.  Nice, peaceful way to spend a vacation day.

What is Hairy Woodpecker a euphemism for?

[PvilleStang 2,921]

1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Sitting in my back yard smoking a couple of slabs of bacon with pecan, watching a Hairy Woodpecker work over the bark of an oak that died in the drought, and listening to two Sandhill Cranes circle overhead.  Nice, peaceful way to spend a vacation day.

Word of advice, do NOT google "hairy woodpecker" when trying to see what one looks like.  Search history is forever unclean!

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

Just now, NeverMarryAStripper said:

What is Hairy Woodpecker a euphemism for?

Lol.  Nothing.  It is a species of small woodpeckers, and this one has been staying in one of my trees for a while.

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

2 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Word of advice, do NOT google "hairy woodpecker" when trying to see what one looks like.  Search history is forever unclean!

You have to be sure to type out "woodpecker", not just "pecker" or "peckerwood".

[WhatTheBuck 28,798]

2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Word of advice, do NOT google "hairy woodpecker" when trying to see what one looks like.  Search history is forever unclean!

Are you just making that up? I typed in “hairy” and the first suggestion offered was “hairy tongue” and the second was “Hairy woodpecker.”

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

He probably just left off the wood

[Sam Lin 3,561]

[Superhero 8,842]

Hitting all green lights on my way to work, and getting there in 13 minutes flat. 

[closetohumping 17,470]

On 12/16/2022 at 9:36 PM, Superhero said:

Hitting all green lights on my way to work, and getting there in 13 minutes flat. 

If you live in OC, this is a big deal. 

[HornsOverIthaca 2,335]

What is best in life?
On a cold drive to work, the heated seat warms up quickly.
This is good.

[ABSR 5,324]

12 minutes ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

What is best in life?
On a cold drive to work, the heated seat warms up quickly.
This is good.

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

[Jameslaw121 4,448]

On 12/16/2022 at 11:36 PM, Superhero said:

Hitting all green lights on my way to work, and getting there in 13 minutes flat. 

I live about 2 miles from my work. My commute is either 4 minutes or 12 depending on the lights.

[Superhero 8,842]

3 hours ago, closetohumping said:

If you live in OC, this is a big deal. 

I get out of my neighborhood onto Tustin Ranch Road. It turns into Von Karman. Office is on the right. It’s pretty much a 7.5 straight shot down one road. And this is why I’m fighting tooth and nail for my office to stay where it is. 

[nnm 36,638]

On 12/1/2022 at 10:15 PM, Sam Lin said:

[52-80 19,246]

5 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

What is best in life?
On a cold drive to work, the heated seat warms up quickly.
This is good.

Heated floors, and toweling yourself off with a warm towel. 
Best investment in a bathroom: a towel warming rack. 

[nnm 36,638]

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Heated floors, and toweling yourself off with a warm towel. 
Best investment in a bathroom: a towel warming rack. 

Second best. A bidet, specifically one that has a heated seat and heated water, is the best. Close second is the towel warming rack. 

[Sandman 3,412]

My daughter wanted a specific Keurig coffee maker for christmas, she told us it was available at walmart. I looked at their website, it claimed there was one left at a store across town, one that I hate to go to. I was 100% sure the website was full of shit but we went there and boom, it was right there on the shelf. A christmas miracle, for sure. 

[Kennythetiger 9,460]

2 hours ago, Sandman said:

My daughter wanted a specific Keurig coffee maker for christmas, she told us it was available at walmart. I looked at their website, it claimed there was one left at a store across town, one that I hate to go to. I was 100% sure the website was full of shit but we went there and boom, it was right there on the shelf. A christmas miracle, for sure. 

“Once a dad, always a dad.”  
-my dad   

[elfenix 34,332]

been in the recovery of RSV or flu or whatever i had last week and blowing snot rockets in the shower.  this morning blew plenty of runny, frothy, white rockets as i've been the last few days.  then this monster sticky dark beige one shot out and now i can breathe better than i have in months.