Trivial things that please the ever living shit out of you

[BearMace 2,210]

My suitcase glides like it's on fucking air. It's unreal.

[Guest]

I like ham sandwiches without any ham...

#Oreonicmorons

[chesthair 231]

snot rockets.  nothing better than having a troublesome boog and you hold one side of your nose and then shoot that bitch out of the other side.  no tissue to dispose of and really, if you get a good one, you dont even have to break your stride.

[HenryJames 66,293]

Was buying a soda at a convenience store this morning. Worker cane over from the construction site next door and bought three cans of Copenhagen and paid with a debit/credit card that looked like an American flag.

[HenryJames 66,293]

Was buying a soda at a convenience store this morning. Worker cane over from the construction site next door and bought three cans of Copenhagen and paid with a debit/credit card that looked like an American flag.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

My 9 year old son has no food discernment. Steak or tofu, so long as it's edible, he doesn't care.

So I was very pleased today when he said "Pineapple on pizza is gross."

Edited February 9, 2019 by Walden Ponderer

[HenryJames 66,293]

Showed up right as the traffic cop was writing me a parking ticket, but he changed it to just a warning.

[HornsOverIthaca 2,339]

 

(not really...I turn my phone sideways before attempting to murder someone)

[HornsOverIthaca 2,339]

On 2/3/2019 at 5:38 PM, BearMace said:

My suitcase glides like it's on fucking air. It's unreal.

Tell me more about this.

[Hmbre97 6,333]

Peeling the protective sheet off something you just bought.

Related story: many moons ago, I'm waiting in line at Best Buy to exchange something that was DOA out of the box. Old man in front of me has a microwave in his cart. The store was busy as hell (like I said, this was a long time ago before Amazon really took off) so after waiting a while, the old man is pissy as well as the dude running the service desk. Guy plops the microwave on the counter and starts cursing about how he has only had the microwave for a month or so and had to pay someone to remove it to bring back because the keypad section has "started to bubble".

The dude behind the counter blurts out a laugh, apologizes, then reaches over and peels off the film from the keypad. Old dudes face turned 8 shades of red. He loaded it back in his cart and hauled ass while myself and the dude behind the counter are trying to stifle laughter.

[El Diablo 4,232]

I'm laughing with you but I've found myself realizing that there was that film on stuff I've owned for a long time and had just never noticed it until maybe a corner peeled up from old age.

[BearMace 2,210]

On 2/10/2019 at 10:22 AM, HornsOverIthaca said:

Tell me more about this.

I think I was in Love Field when I noticed my not particularly nice suitcase we rolling exceptionally smoothly. Could probably have cross posted in the high thread.

[retread 2,951]

Not trivial, but pleasing.

[Guest]

Seeing a cop cite 3 ( out of 8 )different vehicles for illegally parking in handicap spots. If they’re not gonna clean up left lane hogs; this is a very close 2nd.  

Edited February 13, 2019 by slorch

[UncleCharlie 334]

Picking your nose after it has been bleeding and getting a 2-3 inch vein to come out with the crust.  Yeah the bleeding will start again, but its worth it.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,918]

Picking your nose after it has been bleeding and getting a 2-3 inch vein to come out with the crust.  Yeah the bleeding will start again, but its worth it.

Amazing what can come out of there and how relieving it is

[PvilleStang 2,926]

8 minutes ago, UncleCharlie said:

Picking your nose after it has been bleeding and getting a 2-3 inch vein to come out with the crust.  Yeah the bleeding will start again, but its worth it.

Snot rocketing a bloody nose in the shower.  Watching that giant wad of blood come out is one of the most elegant things...

[talley49 46]

On ‎1‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 7:01 PM, troph said:

When your boys see a train and still make that universal “blow the whistle” move and the train engineer obliges them. Ages 11 and 9.

blowing the whistle for train whistle move

 

[mdmost 43,320]

The sound of my 8 year old typing on her typewriter. That was the only thing she really wanted for Christmas and she loves it. She wants to write stories and was inspired by authors who had to use typewriters to make the stories she likes. 

Finding a completely new way to go on a route I'd normally drive only 1 or 2 ways (home to kids school). I think this weird behavior comes from my dad who always loved to take a new way to get to church every Sunday. The man really loved to wander around.

Edited February 16, 2019 by mdmost

[Guest]

Her name isn't Lois is it?

 

very cool stuff when your kid is that happy!!!

[BayouBill 835]

On 2/13/2019 at 8:39 PM, BurntEyes said:

Finding "worlds" on the internet you never knew existed that are dedicated to a hobbies you love/are interested in.

Specifically in this instance traveling way off grid via "off road" type RVs and vehicles.

I recently bought an older tractor for our farm. Mainly for me and my dad to have a project to do together and I was amazed how many message boards and forums their were. Basically any question you can possibly have for any make or model tractor, no matter how old, someone’s answered 100 different times.

[SilasCoade 2,622]

11 hours ago, mdmost said:

The sound of my 8 year old typing on her typewriter. That was the only thing she really wanted for Christmas and she loves it. She wants to write stories and was inspired by authors who had to use typewriters to make the stories she likes. 

Finding a completely new way to go on a route I'd normally drive only 1 or 2 ways (home to kids school). I think this weird behavior comes from my dad who always loved to take a new way to get to church every Sunday. The man really loved to wander around.

Was your dad a Russian spy or escaped convict?

[EE2B 1,565]

Peeling the protective sheet off something you just bought.

Related story: many moons ago, I'm waiting in line at Best Buy to exchange something that was DOA out of the box. Old man in front of me has a microwave in his cart. The store was busy as hell (like I said, this was a long time ago before Amazon really took off) so after waiting a while, the old man is pissy as well as the dude running the service desk. Guy plops the microwave on the counter and starts cursing about how he has only had the microwave for a month or so and had to pay someone to remove it to bring back because the keypad section has "started to bubble".

The dude behind the counter blurts out a laugh, apologizes, then reaches over and peels off the film from the keypad. Old dudes face turned 8 shades of red. He loaded it back in his cart and hauled ass while myself and the dude behind the counter are trying to stifle laughter.

Someone in our office sent out a shitty email about the condition of the new microwave and people using forks to push the buttons. He got really pissed when we wrote all over it with a sharpie and put big holes in the plastic film. He did not learn anything because he still sends out shitty emails over things he doesn’t fully understand.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,283]

On 2/11/2019 at 11:55 PM, El Diablo said:

I'm laughing with you but I've found myself realizing that there was that film on stuff I've owned for a long time and had just never noticed it until maybe a corner peeled up from old age.

I had my Rolex for about three weeks before I found the last piece of protective tape on it.  Must have had about 20 different pieces in all.

[Kennythetiger 9,500]

On 2/16/2019 at 7:28 AM, BayouBill said:

I recently bought an older tractor for our farm. Mainly for me and my dad to have a project to do together and I was amazed how many message boards and forums their were. Basically any question you can possibly have for any make or model tractor, no matter how old, someone’s answered 100 different times.

Put your pictures on our tractor thread in the Hobbies forum, if you would like.

[BayouBill 835]

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Put your pictures on our tractor thread in the Hobbies forum, if you would like.

done

[Underdog 28,880]

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Put your pictures on our tractor thread in the Hobbies forum, if you would like.

You think his tractor is sexy?

[Kennythetiger 9,500]

It really turns me on.

[El Diablo 4,232]

Due to work schedule I did my grocery shopping at HEB on Sunday rather than my typical early Saturday morning run. Breezed thru the checkout and then pharmacy opened as I was walking that way to pick some things up. 1st in line. In-n-out.

[CooterBrown 18,099]

HEB curbside. It’s fucking glorious. I place my order while at work and pick it up on the way home.

[Steamboat1874 4,175]

14 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

HEB curbside. It’s fucking glorious. I place my order while at work and pick it up on the way home.

Jesus

Why don't you just have it delivered too?

When I do not have time to actually go into the store, get a basket and pick out my own food I will just give up.

Plus if you curbside it....you do not get to view of all of the fabulous yoga pant wearing MILFS which means there is really no reason to live.

[CooterBrown 18,099]

12 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Jesus

Why don't you just have it delivered too?

When I do not have time to actually go into the store, get a basket and pick out my own food I will just give up.

Plus if you curbside it....you do not get to view of all of the fabulous yoga pant wearing MILFS which means there is really no reason to live.

I don't like the 2 hour delivery window.  With curbside, I have my groceries within 5 minutes of pulling up and I drive right by it on the way home anyway.

MILF game isn't super strong at the Allandale HEB. Mostly, it's filled with the Central Austin Woman Stereotype (40, REI walking shorts, Birkinstocks, and wearing a backpack for no reason).  Who am I kidding. I still look.

 

 

[UncleCharlie 334]

Wearing a new pair of socks for the first time.  It's never the same after the first time.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,123]

32 minutes ago, UncleCharlie said:

Wearing a new pair of socks for the first time.  It's never the same after the first time.

Close cousin of walking on carpet after a much-needed round of toenail clipping. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,033]

If you clip your toenails on my carpet I'm knocking your ass out

[bluto 4,947]

3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Close cousin of walking on carpet after a much-needed round of toenail clipping. 

Holy shit how long do you let the claws get before trimming?

[Prepuce of Doom 21,123]

30 minutes ago, bluto said:

Holy shit how long do you let the claws get before trimming?

Sometimes as much as a week past the point where I first notice that it's time to cut them. Maybe 3-3.5mm at most? I don't like to cut them after I've showered, and I sometimes forget that I need to do it until after I've already got my feet wet. So it gets put off a bit. 

Give me your address and I'll send you the next batch if you're really that interested.

[lateshow 1,309]

20 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Sometimes as much as a week past the point where I first notice that it's time to cut them. Maybe 3-3.5mm at most? I don't like to cut them after I've showered, and I sometimes forget that I need to do it until after I've already got my feet wet. So it gets put off a bit. 

Give me your address and I'll send you the next batch if you're really that interested.

What? That's the best time to do it. They're softened up and don't shoot across the room like shrapnel. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,123]

True enough, but I've personally found that the softness and pliability you describe tends to correlate with accidentally clipping too deeply and/or tearing painfully far down into my nailbed. 

I'll take toenail shrapnel ping pong in the bathroom (never on carpet, NMAS, you sick, accusatory fuck!) over pain and discomfort mixed in with the occasional ingrown toenail. 

Edited February 20, 2019 by Prepuce of Doom

[Kennythetiger 9,500]

8 hours ago, lateshow said:

What? That's the best time to do it. They're softened up and don't shoot across the room like shrapnel. 

I am a stickler for trimming my toenails outside for this very reason. Shit grosses me out. 

[lateshow 1,309]

On 2/20/2019 at 8:06 PM, Kennythetiger said:

I am a stickler for trimming my toenails outside for this very reason. Shit grosses me out. 

If you just bite them off, they don't shoot across the room either. 

[Kennythetiger 9,500]

I'm not that flexible.

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

Your mom is.

[ABSR 5,327]

4 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I'm not that flexible.

You don't bite your own.

[CoTex 1,171]

I’m waiting on my wife to drop something off at a friends house.  Sitting in car watching neighbor kids play.  They have a mini-bike.  The old school little motorcycle you pull cord start.  

 

Older kid about 15 showing them all how it’s done, gonna teach the younger kids proper operation technique.

 

He just crashed the fuck out of it into a parked car.  Funny - it dragged him down driveway and across street accelerating all the way.

no serious injuries, shorts ripped and some skin lost but that’s it, I’m happy now, this is the best thing I’ve seen all day.

[HenryJames 66,293]

Room temperature butter.

[Scheiss Meister 8,419]

Mustard greens seasoned with a touch of bacon grease, salt, and pepper.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Walking in to the kitchen, and finding a slice of apple pie on a plate at my place at the table, because it's "be nice to Walden" day for some reason.

[mdmost 43,320]

The 20 or so Morning Doves that hang out in my backyard tree. Something oddly comforting about seeing them out there every morning

Mark their birdshit they leave in their wake on the trivial things that make you surly thread.

[Brothahorn 10,088]

14 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Walking in to the kitchen, and finding a slice of apple pie on a plate at my place at the table, because it's "be nice to Walden" day for some reason.