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Your most embarrassing moments...


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Posted

Early 2000s and at a work dinner with prospective clients, I was sitting next to a wall that was basically a mirror. Anyways, I got up to excuse myself and bumped “into myself” and said excuse me - I’m sorry.

My group never let me forget about that over the next decade. Too many Old Fashions pre-meal.

Hook’em!!!

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Posted

I ruined a surprise party for a girl in high school. It was comically bad. And then I couldn't even go to the party.

Fortunately she was cool about it and wound up being part of our stoner circle.

Posted

My brother had a party and a friend of ours we hadn’t seen in probably 20 years showed up. He shows up with his wife and after about 20 beers I grabbed a candle that you couldn’t tell was lit and acted like I was going to throw it on her. Turns out it had been lit for a long time and had a huge puddle of wax in it. I threw wax all over her face and shirt. I felt like a complete fucking moron and looked even worse. They left immediately and I haven’t spoken to the guy since. 

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Posted

First night the wife and I were “together” I called her by her sister’s name. Yeah, ended up rubbing one out that night. 
 

Another time I was working as a bagger at HEB when I mistakenly put some dude’s booze in another customer’s cart.  Asshole tried to yell at me but I had my ear piece off. 

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Posted (edited)

Not my worst moment, that will take some reflection. 
 

But Priscilla asked our new neighbor when she is due.  She was not pregnant.  It’s been an awkward 10 years. 
 

Priscilla says that’s the only time she has made that goof. Great move with a permanent neighbor. 
 

Edit to add:  neighbor chick lost quite a bit of weight.  Welcome to the neighborhood!

Edited by Elvis
Posted

In junior high, I went to band camp in Lubbock at Texas Tech. They made a huge deal about not fraternizing with the opposite sex. 

Well, I got caught one night making out with a girl outside between buildings. The punishment? I was called up on stage in front of 5,000 fellow campers, and forced to make out with the girl. It was a brutal embarrassment.

Interesting side note though. The girl ended up six years later becoming Miss Lubbock in the State of Texas beauty pageant. So I’ve got that going for me. 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

In junior high, I went to band camp in Lubbock at Texas Tech. They made a huge deal about not fraternizing with the opposite sex. 

Well, I got caught one night making out with a girl outside between buildings. The punishment? I was called up on stage in front of 5,000 fellow campers, and forced to make out with the girl. It was a brutal embarrassment.

Interesting side note though. The girl ended up six years later becoming Miss Lubbock in the State of Texas beauty pageant. So I’ve got that going for me. 

Somehow your avatar fits your story.

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Posted

Eighth grade and I'm in a room with 40ish other students for a Junior NHS meeting. Perfectly timed with a pause in the talking by the teacher in the front of the room, I have a very audible fart slip past the defenses. 

Blessedly, it was not a stinker, but that was mortifying. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Elvis said:

But Priscilla asked our new neighbor when she is due.  She was not pregnant.

a woman could be in the stirrups and crowning and you still don’t ask her if she’s pregnant.  get your woman in line. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

In junior high, I went to band camp in Lubbock at Texas Tech. They made a huge deal about not fraternizing with the opposite sex. 

Well, I got caught one night making out with a girl outside between buildings. The punishment? I was called up on stage in front of 5,000 fellow campers, and forced to make out with the girl. It was a brutal embarrassment.

Interesting side note though. The girl ended up six years later becoming Miss Lubbock in the State of Texas beauty pageant. So I’ve got that going for me. 

Wonder what would have happened had you been caught getting a beej?  Or in flagrante delicto.

Posted

I have a very recent one. In December my wife,  mother in law,  son, and wife's brother all went out to local pizza place for dinner.  Just to back up a bit,  my son is autistic and goes to an autism school in the same area.  Anyway,  we're eating dinner and at the table next to me there is a boy about my sons age and he goes to my sons school.  I am so sure of it that I break out the class dojo app and find a picture and it's him. So my wife tells me to go say hello to the dad.  I'm a couple beers in and sufficiently lubricated so I make my way over. I tap the dad on the shoulder and ask "Does your son go the autism school?" He gives me the absolute death stare and says 'no'. At that point I'm stunned and don't know what to say. Think I may have muttered something like 'I've seen him hanging with my kid'... Anyway the death stare continues. I just go back to my seat and never turn my head in their direction again.  My brother in law astutely chimed in and said "you probably should have led with 'what school does your son go to?'". Instead I basically did the equivalent of "are you pregnant?" 

 

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Posted (edited)

This is vicarious embarrassment, however it's totally true.

During a workplace spanish class, I'm sitting next to my buddy who lost his ring finger falling off a ladder when his wedding ring got hooked on the ladder or whatever. Instructor says "cuantos dedos tienes" and looks at him. I am sitting next to him and see the train wreck coming. I immediately start dying on the inside as he responds "nueve". She says "no no no, diez". I am dying and eventually can't control myself. He says "nueve". She responds "diez" again. I am physically and audibly losing my shit. He holds up his hand. Instructor proceeds to turn extremely green with shame.

It was one of the most truly hilarious things I've ever seen.

Edited by Thetexashammer
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Posted
29 minutes ago, Thetexashammer said:

This is vicarious embarrassment, however it's totally true.

During a workplace spanish class, I'm sitting next to my buddy who lost his ring finger falling off a ladder when his wedding ring got hooked on the ladder or whatever. Instructor says "cuantos dedos tienes" and looks at him. I am sitting next to him and see the train wreck coming. I immediately start dying on the inside as he responds "nueve". She says "no no no, diez". I am dying and eventually can't control myself. He says "nueve". She responds "diez" again. I am physically and audibly losing my shit. He holds up his hand. Instructor proceeds to turn extremely green with shame.

It was one of the most truly hilarious things I've ever seen.

That's fantastic!

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Posted

Many years ago I was flying back and forth from Honolulu to Austin as my dad was terminally ill with about a year to live. (Wait, wait, it gets even funnier.) So I would basically leave Honolulu on Thursday night and fly back Saturday or Sunday, just to try and sort out as many things as I could in person. As you can imagine, it was totally exhausting physically and emotionally. So I get to the Austin airport for my return flight one weekend, and I'm checking into the flight at the kiosk, and it's not working. I go to the counter and I really had no patience or threshold anymore, given everything that was going on with my dad and my sleep, so I kind of unloaded on the agent. "Your machine is broken and I just need to check into the flight and get the hell home, and it would be a lot easier if you guys knew how to run an airline, but of course your machine won't let me check in" or something super rude along those lines. He asked for my info, punched it into the computer, and politely replied, "The reason you can't check into your flight is because it left yesterday." 

Total humiliation. I immediately snapped back to reality, apologized profusely, explained the situation, and the agent was super nice and got me on that day's flight after all. I learned two things through that experience -- never assume you know why someone is being a total asshole, and even though it's completely exhausting, do whatever you can to spend time with your friends and family. But the embarrassment of that situation still haunts me -- I really made an ass of myself. 

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