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Posted

And I don’t mean if you’re on the verge of divorce or whatever.  You’re happily married.  I’ve heard this is a thing. Last night my daughter was under the weather so my wife slept with her.   I had the bed all to myself and man 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  
 

not saying I’d do it permanently.   I think colon cowherd does this

Posted
19 minutes ago, Im_smarter_then_you said:

And I don’t mean if you’re on the verge of divorce or whatever.  You’re happily married.  I’ve heard this is a thing. Last night my daughter was under the weather so my wife slept with her.   I had the bed all to myself and man 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  
 

not saying I’d do it permanently.   I think colon cowherd does this

Not a thing. If you're not on the verge of divorce, it'll lead to one. Or at least it'll lead to separation and essentially the same thing as divorce. 

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Posted

Interesting question. My wife and I started doing this on certain nights during COVID to minimize the risk of the entire family getting sick. What we realized was how wonderfully each of us slept. My wife is a furnace and moves way too much at night and I snore like crazy. While we still sleep in the same bed most nights now, if there is a big presentation or we are stressed or we havent slept well recently, we will watch TV together and then around 10pm one of us will go to the guest room. I go back and forth on how important it actually is to sleep in the same bed. I think its a "well of course you are supposed to sleep in the same bed as your wife" but I think its importance will wain over time. We have been married 19 years and counting. We dont need to spent every second together and it allows us some space without feeling bad about it. And the sleep....100 times better and more restful.

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Posted
21 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

and I snore like crazy. 

I'd bet good money this is the #1 reason for separate beds.  I snore, but we're still in the same bed, 24 years in.  My wife does slap me on the forehead now and again, though.

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Posted (edited)

Last 3 years with the ex we did because my ex insisted on having our daughter sleep with us.  Finally, one day I said fuck it and went off to the spare bedroom and it was glorious.

The last year of the marriage the ex kept bringing the subject up; in our marriage counseling when I told the counselor the reason I slept elsewhere she took off her glasses, stared at the ex and essentially asked her what the hell was she thinking...then looked at me and told me that yes, she would be sleeping in another room if her spouse insisted on having their child sleep with us.  My ex was pissed.    I was smug.

 

With wife #2, we have never slept in separate beds.  I do snore occasionally, but one year I purchased Bose sleepbuds for my wife....and she thanked me, rather enthusastically.  Bose does not make them any longer, but Ozlo does.  Highly recommended if your spouse snores, or if you do and want to help your partner out:

 

https://ozlosleep.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Francisco 2.0
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Posted
11 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Last 3 years with the ex we did because my ex insisted on having our daughter sleep with us.  Finally, one day I said fuck it and went off to the spare bedroom and it was glorious.

The last year of the marriage the ex kept bringing the subject up; in our marriage counseling when I told the counselor the reason I slept elsewhere she took off her glasses, stared at the ex and essentially asked her what the hell was she thinking...then looked at me and told me that yes, she would be sleeping in another room if her spouse insisted on having their child sleep with us.  My ex was pissed.    I was smug.

 

With wife #2, we have never slept in separate beds.  I do snore occasionally, but one year I purchased Bose sleepbuds for my wife....and she thanked me, rather enthusastically.  Bose does not make them any longer, but Ozlo does.  Highly recommended if your spouse snores, or if you do and want to help your partner out:

 

https://ozlosleep.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How old is your child?

I have a colleague who has a two br and their 5 and 2 year old sleep in the same bed.   
 

then my other colleague says he sleeps in a seperate room from his wife and that’s what keeps them happy

 

a good nights sleep is underrated.  Makes you feel ten years younger 

Posted
Just now, Im_smarter_then_you said:

How old is your child?

At that time, she was 4.   When she was 7, my ex and I divorced.

My ex confided to me a year or so after the divorce that our daughter still slept with her, and said it was impossible to get our daughter to sleep in her own bed.    Funny, our daughter had no issues sleeping in her own bed at my house when she was staying with me.  

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Posted

Almost every night since we were married in 2002.  I have insomnia, restless legs, and have to be cold to sleep.  I sleep with my window wide open regardless of how cold it is.  I just don't want to keep her up all night.  

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Posted
1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

With wife #2, we have never slept in separate beds.  I do snore occasionally, but one year I purchased Bose sleepbuds for my wife....and she thanked me, rather enthusastically.  Bose does not make them any longer, but Ozlo does.  Highly recommended if your spouse snores, or if you do and want to help your partner out:

 

https://ozlosleep.com/

 

Thanks for posting that link. Those look pretty damn cool. My wife has to have perfect conditions to get a good night of sleep. Eye mask, ear plugs, temperature, etc. Those look like something she would really dig. I’d also like to try them out for overnight international flights. I struggle to sleep on planes, even in lie flat seats and my air pods are super uncomfortable when I’m trying to sleep on my side.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Almost every night since we were married in 2002.  I have insomnia, restless legs, and have to be cold to sleep.  I sleep with my window wide open regardless of how cold it is.  I just don't want to keep her up all night.  

That's the other thing, we both like to sleep in the cold.  Like windows open, outside air on.  It's like 58 degrees

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Posted (edited)

Wife No. 2 is currently sleeping in the guest room.  She's 52 and in perimenopause, and one of her symptoms is horrible sleep patterns, usually being wide awake in the middle of the night for an hour or so, and getting long sustained chunks of sleep during the night has become difficult.  She's volunteered to take the guest room most nights so she's not waking me up, and because I often start my weekday morning routine before her and need access to the master bathroom, etc.

Edited by South Austin
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Posted

Yes, but only because I snore like a motherfucker. We go to bed, and I've always been the "early to bed" person; but talk, watch a show together, fill in the blanks.  Then she'll get up, and go to bed in other room.

In the mornings, I wake up before her, feed the dogs, and then almost always go to get in her bed at 15 minutes before her alarm.

So at the risk of TMI, yeah, we still have intimacy, we just SLEEP in different beds, again, because I sound like a train.

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Posted
2 hours ago, Horn_Spanker said:

When I see old shows like Dick Van Dyke show and they are in separate twin beds, I think, man, what would I do with all that extra real-estate if I had my own twin bed!

Modern Day Lucy and Ricky - Stilettos & Diapers

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Posted

Yeah, i sleep with the girlfriend. Wife sleeps with the dog. 

But forreal, we transitioned to separate blankets. I have a thinner one, she has a thicker one, and we never have to jostle for it. We also use separate adjustable slats under the mattress so the bedfeel is slightly different on each side.

I snore tons. She got used to it. Once in a blue moon if one of us is deeply ill we might sleep separate. 

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Yeah, i sleep with the girlfriend. Wife sleeps with the dog. 

But forreal, we transitioned to separate blankets. I have a thinner one, she has a thicker one, and we never have to jostle for it. We also use separate adjustable slats under the mattress so the bedfeel is slightly different on each side.

I snore tons. She got used to it. Once in a blue moon if one of us is deeply ill we might sleep separate. 

 

We usually sleep in separate beds. I have a nasty habit of sticking my thumb up her ass in the middle of the night which she isn't too fond of. No pics. For real.

Edited by Bevo
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Posted
6 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Sounds like some of you mofos need to see. Sleep Medicine doc

I regret not doing a sleep study when i literally lived next to a sleep study lab and was single and had nights to burn. 

BMI low 20s so the only remedy might be to fucking zap my tonsils with a laser or something. 

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Posted
I regret not doing a sleep study when i literally lived next to a sleep study lab and was single and had nights to burn. 
BMI low 20s so the only remedy might be to fucking zap my tonsils with a laser or something. 

I had a buddy that was fucking a chick that worked at a sleep study place. They’d do it there.

I don’t sleep in the same bed as my wife. Haven’t in 4 or 5 years, other than a handful of times.
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Posted
36 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:


I don’t sleep in the same bed as my wife. Haven’t in 4 or 5 years, other than a handful of times.

Sure, but what about with your girlfriend?

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Posted

Always the same bed, although we were perfectly happy sharing a twin way back in college. That would not work at all now. Anything less than a king and we have territorial disputes. And we’re 275 pounds combined.

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Posted

Only when one of us is sick so we don’t keep the other up. I used to be a fat fuck and would snore like crazy. I lost a ton of weight and we both sleep a lot better.

My parents have slept separately for the last 5 years at least because of my dads snoring.

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Posted
23 hours ago, Basil said:

Always the same bed, although we were perfectly happy sharing a twin way back in college. That would not work at all now. Anything less than a king and we have territorial disputes. And we’re 275 pounds combined.

Holy hell, my college GF and I also shared a twin bed on the regular.  Her dad had bought her a 1 bedroom condo near campus, and she had a roommate.  The roommate's BF lived right across the road, so she slept there almost every night.  That twin mattress got a workout.  I'd be afraid to guess how much it weighed by the time we were done.  I didn't have a mattress scale.

Fast forward 30+ years and the GF and I just upgraded to a Cal King from a Queen.  I honestly preferred the queen.  

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Posted

Always start in the same bed, but when Mrs GOTJ was having a bad bout of RLS, she'd often go to the guest bedroom. I sleep like a stone & rarely move. Not gonna lie, it was nice to wake up in a king bed w/ plenty of extra room if I wanted to stretch out (and the cat cooperated).

If I'm having a bout of insomnia, I'll often go downstairs & end up spending the rest of the night on the sofa. We've talked about the possibility of having separate twin beds (in the same room) later in life due to sleep patterns & mattress preferences. Seems a lot more cost effective than going w/ the high end his/her customized king option.

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Posted

Yes, for the last few years. Been married 17. Wife sleeps much lighter than me. I snore some, but have "passed" multiple sleep studies so not a lot else I can do. Might try those earplugs for her though. 

Basically as we've gotten older, undisrupted sleep is prioritized. 

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Posted
8 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:



If I'm having a bout of insomnia, I'll often go downstairs & end up spending the rest of the night on the sofa. 

 

 

This is me. I'll read or watch TV on the sofa until I can get to sleep. What I don't tell her is that once I'm asleep, I often sleep better on the sofa. 

 

Posted
On 3/8/2025 at 5:22 AM, 52-80 said:

I regret not doing a sleep study when i literally lived next to a sleep study lab and was single and had nights to burn. 

BMI low 20s so the only remedy might be to fucking zap my tonsils with a laser or something. 

CPAP has changed my life.  My sleep study was at home with a thing I put on my finger for one night.  No more snoring.  Now I hear my wife snoring.  

Posted
On 3/7/2025 at 8:55 AM, Dahobbs said:

Not a thing. If you're not on the verge of divorce, it'll lead to one. Or at least it'll lead to separation and essentially the same thing as divorce. 

Yeah, towards the end me and my ex-wife started sleeping separately, we had been together 20+ years.

After sleeping solo during the end of my marriage and during the divorce I discovered I prefer sleeping alone. The first post-divorce relationship I had the woman I was dating loved to cuddle and sleep.

My reaction to her desire to cuddle during sleep.

get-off-of-me-cher.gif

 

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Posted

Occassionally one of us will haeve to wake up super early and go to bed before the other one or I'll fall asleep on the recliner or something, but invariably we stumble into the same bed around 3am.

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Posted
10 hours ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

CPAP has changed my life.  My sleep study was at home with a thing I put on my finger for one night.  No more snoring.  Now I hear my wife snoring.  

Do you feel a change in restfulness?

In satisfied with my quality of sleep for the duration, but then again ive been snoring since college so its always been the same frame of reference. 

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Posted
7 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Do you feel a change in restfulness?

In satisfied with my quality of sleep for the duration, but then again ive been snoring since college so its always been the same frame of reference. 

Yes.  Big time.  I have been snoring for a long time as well.  I would fall asleep after work just sitting in my recliner.  I also noticed I would get tired driving.  Now I don't feel the need to nap at all.  I was also having acid reflux issues at night.  That has also gone away.  

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