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Shit My Kid Says


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  • 2 weeks later...

I was trying to dive home the importance of wearing a coat to the bus stop when it’s freezing or raining


“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just being poorly dressed for the weather provided”

Response: “I’ll remember that when we have a tornado”.

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3 minutes ago, GottaB said:

I was trying to dive home the importance of wearing a coat to the bus stop when it’s freezing or raining


“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just being poorly dressed for the weather provided”

Response: “I’ll remember that when we have a tornado”.

You're in trouble.

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38 minutes ago, GottaB said:

I was trying to dive home the importance of wearing a coat to the bus stop when it’s freezing or raining


“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just being poorly dressed for the weather provided”

Response: “I’ll remember that when we have a tornado”.


Remember the 6 P’s:

Piss
Poor
Planning
Produces
Poor
Performance

 

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I was trying to dive home the importance of wearing a coat to the bus stop when it’s freezing or raining


“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just being poorly dressed for the weather provided”

Response: “I’ll remember that when we have a tornado”.

This is where you let him walk to the bus stop in freezing rain wearing whatever the fuck he wants.
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On 12/16/2024 at 2:17 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

You know you've done something right as a parent when your child is using his school computer to Google Krampus the week before Christmas. 

Screenshot_20241216_141534_SecurlyHome.thumb.jpg.2b8ba3a932e96a9b957943ce654dc16f.jpg

Keeping the dream alive!!! 

IMG_20241219_142325.thumb.jpg.0ed3316426ad45cb3060e9057c5228cc.jpg

I really hope he has managed to convince some of his classmates. I'll try to extract this information and will report any amusing revelations. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Just had to change my entry name in the Bowl Mania contest after he asked me why his entry name was "Doomlet" and what was the meaning of my entry name - "$30 Prepuce." 

I told him that they were randomly generated, but I don't know whether he bought it. 

Separately, it should come as no surprise that he got a real charge out of @IPoopOnWhoop 's entry name, even if he doesn't understand the "whoop" aspect. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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10 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Just had to change my entry name in the Bowl Mania contest after he asked me why his entry name was "Doomlet" and what was the meaning of my entry name - "$30 Prepuce." 

I told him that they were randomly generated, but I don't know whether he bought it. 

Separately, it should come as no surprise that he got a real charge out of @IPoopOnWhoop 's entry name, even if he doesn't understand the "whoop" aspect. 

Haha I made this name up when I started posting on hornfans around age 16.  

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11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

He's currently using Google Translate to say "nineteen," "twelve and nineteen," and "fifty and nineteen" out loud in French. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Multiple variations on "deez nuts."

 

fifty and nineteen is the best

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  • 2 weeks later...

My 2 1/2 year-old is equal parts hilarious and pain in the ass, but his language is to the point where he may start contributing to this thread... hopefully not at doomlet's level.

As the bath was draining and he was sitting in the tub, "My penis broken". Then soon thereafter, following a successful pee in the potty, "Two points!". We don't even watch basketball.

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sorry not sure where else to post this....it was not my kid it was some kid at the store and his mom and then me

the grocery store has a little door barely above grocery cart height that slides open so the cart guys can push the carts in right to the front of the store and it is right by one of the regular doors

I am walking up to the store and there is a little kid and his mom and they are heading to the door and the little kid makes a beeline for the small cart door and his mom is clearly not happy, but was not able to stop him in time and he goes right through it and waits for his mom in the area by the carts......so as I walked up I ducked down and went through the cart door as well......the kid was looking at me like "he just did that too" and the mom was looking back and forth at both of us not happy......no pics of mom she was not all that plus she is clearly a stick in the mud

Edited by ButtFumble
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11 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Daughter: If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?

Me: I don’t know.

Daughter: First I’d wish for an umbrella. Then I’d stick it up his butt. I’d tell him that I would open the umbrella if he didn’t grant me unlimited wishes.

Me: …


You’re gonna have your hands full in a few years. 
 

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