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Posted

so I'm sitting in an office park outside an appointment for my son. this office park is a typical one off ben white surrounded by oaks big and small.

this time of year as yall know, is fall for live oaks so those little bastard leaves are everywhere. 

i have been sitting here watching a lawn crew of probably 10 hard worker dudes using leaf blowers for...reasons I cannot detect.

near as I can tell they are blowing the leaves back and forth. there is no attempt being made to bag them, nor is there a noticeable difference in the leaf volume in this parking lot in the past 10 - 20 minutes except the appearance of industry and the noise pollution that accompanies it.

seems all leaf blowers are out do to is move this problem from here to there. most lawn crew just blow the leaves into the street...where they blow right back into your to someone else's lawn. but rarely is there an attempt to solve the fucking leaf problem by raking and bagging them.

this got me thinking about the ethos of leaf blowers as it pertains to our American life. 

why do we spend so much of our time simply moving problems around instead of trying to solve them? 

i know the easy answer is nimby but leaf blowers are right in your fucking yard blowing everything back into the pool. I don't get this mentality. 

is it purely an American thing or is it more of a human thing? 

Posted

This is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Leaf-blowing has zero value, save maybe keeping sewer grates clean (and that's doubtful).

Plus, horrible emissions from the gas-powered variety.

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Posted

I used to have a mrihhbot whose kid’d idwa of eaking the leaves waa blowing them onto my lawn.  The little miscreant died in a car accident on his way home from collegw hid feahman year.he probably had that coming.  Karma ia a cruel bitch.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

I used to have a mrihhbot whose kid’d idwa of eaking the leaves waa blowing them onto my lawn.  The little miscreant died in a car accident on his way home from collegw hid feahman year.he probably had that coming.  Karma ia a cruel bitch.

Are you having a stroke?

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Posted
4 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Are you having a stroke?

That wais fat fingering my phone a stroke? B cause yhatsapretty frequent problem for me.as someone recovering from a stroke, I can tell you thwy are no joking matter

Posted

Because of where our house sits in relation to prevailing winds and leaf-dropping season, our street curb catches a shit ton of the neighborhood leaves. Before I mow, I blow those leaves from the curb up into the yard, so that hopefully the mower will suck up most of them (I usually bag). Also I blow them off the front porch into the yard before mowing.

On days when I edge, I blow those grass clipping from the sidewalk into the yard so that the mower will suck those clippings up.

But yeah, most of the people on our street that have lawn services don't have them collect the leaves, they just blow them out into the middle of the street and that makes me ragey. 

Posted
32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Counterpoint: name your dick "leaf," and just sit back and wait to be blown.

Roll_Safe_meme.jpg

There was a story on the TOS about BT’s son using a leaf blower on wet leaves and having little to no success.  BT was agitated by what he was watching and BT’s wife got somehow involved and everyone got annoyed with each other, or something along those lines. 
The best response by a poster was as follows:

‘Two things not getting blown this weekend, leaves and BT’. 

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Posted (edited)
25 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

That wais fat fingering my phone a stroke? B cause yhatsapretty frequent problem for me.as someone recovering from a stroke, I can tell you thwy are no joking matter

It's a stroke.

Edited by Deej
Posted (edited)

I'm sure this exists in the Land of Landscaping ... but always wondered why there's not a leaf sucker (insert joke) with a built in mulcher.

Then have a few bags handy and empty the on board canister into those. Pack and leave.

Leaves aren't particularly dense and I'd think would chop and compress considerably.

The device could even have a compactor setting.

Anyway, if it doesn't exist, I call copyright/trademark and all future royalties.

If it does and I'm just an ignorant idiot (already confirmed) well, fuck all y'all.

Edited by gofuckyourself
Posted
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Counterpoint: name your dick "leaf," and just sit back and wait to be blown.

My lawn crew is looking for extra money, so I'll send those guys over to your place.

Posted
10 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

I'm sure this exists in the Land of Landscaping ... but always wondered why there's not a leaf sucker (insert joke) with a built in mulcher.

Then have a few bags handy and empty the on board canister into those. Pack and leave.

Leaves aren't particularly dense and I'd think would chop and compress considerably.

The device could even have a compactor setting.

Anyway, if it doesn't exist, I call copyright/trademark and all future royalties.

If it does and I'm just an ignorant idiot (already confirmed) well, fuck all y'all.

I had one of those.  It worked okay if the leaves were already in a pile, but didn't work as well vacuuming up leaves.

They make a commercial leaf attachment for riding mowers, but I understand they only work well on flat surfaces without tree roots, rocks, or other impediments.  Someone in the neighborhood bought one years ago and was going to market his teenage son to pickup leaves from peoples yards - it didn't work like they thought and the kid ended up picking up leaves old school.

 

Posted
3 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Do people just not mow over their leaves any longer and mulch them up?  

I do. However our oak is a red oak with large lightweight leaves. Live oak leaves, which the wind deposits onto our lawn thanks to our neighbors surrounding us, are much harder to mulch with the mower. We do not own a leaf  blower so I just rake the lawn or sweep anything that is against the curb or on another hard surface such as the driveway. One neighbor commented on it and I just said it was a mild workout. While it does take more time than a leaf blower, so does him getting in the car and driving to the gym to walk on the treadmill so we're even.

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Do people just not mow over their leaves any longer and mulch them up?  

My dad raked the leaves up, used a hand cart to put them around the bases of his fruit trees, then ground them up with a mulching mower.  Made excellent mulch for his fruit trees, got the leaves off of the grass, and gave him something to kep him busy.  Win-win-win.

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Posted

Our mower is a push mower that is supposed to mulch and the last mow of the season I kind of work it like your father did except I rake them to the more weaker parts of the lawn to give it some natural organic material. One year it worked a little too well because I mowed a pile over and over right in front of the fence gate where the grass was trampled and the grass grew so well it was hard to get the gate open...

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Posted
14 minutes ago, Ghost of NMAS said:

image.thumb.png.47d4556ecd4eca46179260d54e8c1b44.pngimage.png.45381f1ea3b78dc05839122fa6014552.png

Lulz. My friend who lives a couple blocks away has one of these. And he has the worst lawn on earth. He brags about how the bags it makes are so dense they weigh 50-60 lbs. He's probably only used it once or twice, but is always offering to loan it to someone because he thinks it's such a cool device. I'm sure it's buried in one of the 3 backyard sheds he has (because he can't fit anything more than one can of WD-40 in his hoarder's special garage. He's also got a riding lawn mower (doesn't work), a push mower (same), and has used a battery powered robot mower for the last two summers that just kinda wanders around like an outdoor Roomba without making any noticeable difference other than scaring the dog. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

I'm sure this exists in the Land of Landscaping ... but always wondered why there's not a leaf sucker (insert joke) with a built in mulcher.

Then have a few bags handy and empty the on board canister into those. Pack and leave.

Leaves aren't particularly dense and I'd think would chop and compress considerably.

The device could even have a compactor setting.

Anyway, if it doesn't exist, I call copyright/trademark and all future royalties.

If it does and I'm just an ignorant idiot (already confirmed) well, fuck all y'all.

This technology has existed at least since I was a youngin

Posted

I got my yard guys mulching them for me. One guy continuously blows them into a pile while the dude on the riding mower passes back and forth over it until there’s nothing left. I’ve asked them to do it in a different spot every time so the whole yard gets that sweet sweet nitrogen boost.

Posted

Anyone that uses a fucking ga

2 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

 Leaf-blowing has zero value, save maybe keeping sewer grates clean (and that's doubtful).

Plus, horrible emissions from the gas-powered variety.

Tack 8AM onto the equation and you've especially got something. 

Posted
1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

That wais fat fingering my phone a stroke? B cause yhatsapretty frequent problem for me.as someone recovering from a stroke, I can tell you thwy are no joking matter

I don’t think you have recovered.

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Posted
1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

I'm sure this exists in the Land of Landscaping ... but always wondered why there's not a leaf sucker (insert joke) with a built in mulcher.

Then have a few bags handy and empty the on board canister into those. Pack and leave.

Leaves aren't particularly dense and I'd think would chop and compress considerably.

The device could even have a compactor setting.

Anyway, if it doesn't exist, I call copyright/trademark and all future royalties.

If it does and I'm just an ignorant idiot (already confirmed) well, fuck all y'all.

You're very late to this game.  I've owned one for around twenty years.  It works. . . fine.  I'll take your fuck you and leave you with a recommendation to go learn the basic vocabulary of intellectual property.  

Posted
3 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

so I'm sitting in an office park outside an appointment for my son. this office park is a typical one off ben white surrounded by oaks big and small.

this time of year as yall know, is fall for live oaks so those little bastard leaves are everywhere. 

i have been sitting here watching a lawn crew of probably 10 hard worker dudes using leaf blowers for...reasons I cannot detect.

near as I can tell they are blowing the leaves back and forth. there is no attempt being made to bag them, nor is there a noticeable difference in the leaf volume in this parking lot in the past 10 - 20 minutes except the appearance of industry and the noise pollution that accompanies it.

seems all leaf blowers are out do to is move this problem from here to there. most lawn crew just blow the leaves into the street...where they blow right back into your to someone else's lawn. but rarely is there an attempt to solve the fucking leaf problem by raking and bagging them.

this got me thinking about the ethos of leaf blowers as it pertains to our American life. 

why do we spend so much of our time simply moving problems around instead of trying to solve them? 

i know the easy answer is nimby but leaf blowers are right in your fucking yard blowing everything back into the pool. I don't get this mentality. 

is it purely an American thing or is it more of a human thing? 

My guy blows leaves into a pile and then bags them. You know like you’re supposed to do.

Leaf Blower Man is basically the Texas version of Florida Man. I have no idea where these people come from and where they go when not blowing leaves.

- I saw a guy blowing leaves under an overpass on I 10 the day Harvey blew into Houston. It was already starting to flood.

-  After leaving a McDonald’s drive thru at midnight last week, I saw a guy blowing leaves in an empty parking lot. Just fucking bizarre. 
 

My best guess is that Leaf Blower Man is the new guy on landscaping crews and they just walk around and try to look busy. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

That wais fat fingering my phone a stroke? B cause yhatsapretty frequent problem for me.as someone recovering from a stroke, I can tell you thwy are no joking matter

This reminds me of my drunk posts on hornfans.

Posted
54 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

I got my yard guys mulching them for me. One guy continuously blows them into a pile while the dude on the riding mower passes back and forth over it until there’s nothing left. I’ve asked them to do it in a different spot every time so the whole yard gets that sweet sweet nitrogen boost.

They’re great for the soil but I don’t think they add much nitrogen. 

Posted
55 minutes ago, justhookit said:

I don’t think you have recovered.

Mot yet., nut I never had any cognitive imp, beyobnd bormal, baseline level of cognitive impairment, butto walk again is rwallyfucking hard though.

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Posted
5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

I never had any cognitive imp, beyobnd bormal, baseline level of cognitive impairment,

Well then, good sir -- you need to leave these parts.  As you can plainly see, Surly only allows posts by people with significant cognitive impairment below the baseline.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

They’re great for the soil but I don’t think they add much nitrogen. 

I think nitrogen is primarily what they add, other than just general organic material. I could be wrong, but that’s what I’ve been told by gardeners.

Posted
3 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

I'm sure this exists in the Land of Landscaping ... but always wondered why there's not a leaf sucker (insert joke) with a built in mulcher.

Then have a few bags handy and empty the on board canister into those. Pack and leave.

Leaves aren't particularly dense and I'd think would chop and compress considerably.

The device could even have a compactor setting.

Anyway, if it doesn't exist, I call copyright/trademark and all future royalties.

If it does and I'm just an ignorant idiot (already confirmed) well, fuck all y'all.

They exist, I have one.  Google "leaf vacuum".

Posted
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

They’re great for the soil but I don’t think they add much nitrogen. 

I took a soils class at UT.

Worst. Class. Ever.

Posted
2 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

You're very late to this game.  I've owned one for around twenty years.  It works. . . fine.  I'll take your fuck you and leave you with a recommendation to go learn the basic vocabulary of intellectual property.  

I Dont Think So No Way GIF

 

My blissful idiotic ignorance is a stubborn bastard.

But based on comments, my island-buying breakthrough will be in building a better mousetra..., er, leaf vacuum mulcher thing.

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