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Posted

In. I don't have time to read everything but I too am on a spiritual journey. I believe we have a body but are a soul. The Atman in search of the Brahman if you want to use those terms. A little piece of light trying to find a way to the rest of the collective soul. I have two books over there in reach, one is by a Jewish fella and another is a Jesuit. I was brought up as a Baptist and graduated from a Cistercian school. One of my best friends told me one day he loves Krishna more than anyone else. 

We had a brass quintet yesterday at church. It was great. Had a sprinkle baptism of a little baby girl. I managed to keep my shit together until he started talking about his sister fighting off cancer and only reading stories that she knew the ending to. 

I have more thoughts and no time to tell them.

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Posted
I remember when I was 6 and my grandfather took me to Easter church. I had so many questions.

“Jesus sounds like a really cool guy!”
“Jesus died for your sins”
“So I don’t have sin?”
“No, you still have”
“Then why did he die”
“Well, god resurrected him to show he was more powerful than death”
“Oh that’s cool! So he is still alive?”
“No, he went to heaven”
“So he was dead? But he went and told all the people who killed him they were wrong?”
“No, the cave were his body laid was empty, so Mary knew he had risen”
“Oh, his mother, the Virgin Mary?”
“No, this Mary was a prostitute”
“So the prostitute said he was alive, but many other people saw him I guess? It must have been the talk of Jerusalem that a dead guy was alive”
“No, not really, but the gospels in the Bible wrote about it 70 to 150 years later”
“So why did he die again?”
“God works in mysterious ways boy”

giphy.gif

I can't believe we gaslight every new generation of 3 year olds with this bullshit. I did it to mine, too.
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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

I put this here because it feels right. 
 

I go to church. I give back to the needy with my time and money yet I am not feeling it in church. We did Easter service yesterday because today would be packed but the whole time it felt like a Rolling Stones concert and it all felt so forced. I’ve never been one to raise hands and pray over people but I am one to actually help people. I just feel weird sometimes when almost everyone but me is singing and praising but I am just standing there. I wish I could get into it more but I just don’t feel ( that ).  I do give my church credit in that they do not get into politics so it isn’t that. I can say I’ve never felt closer to Christ than with a charity I do that helps special needs people run triathlons and half marathons. 

I just really wondered during the laser show yesterday am I the oddball or am I real ? Is this your 40’s??

Add my voice to those who have made suggestions to consider checking out a different service and or church.

Completely anecdotal but I shared some similar feelings as yours at times--I understood why some congregants preferred the pageantry of a *full-on praise and shout service but the day in day out once a week quiet contemplation was what resonated within my own family. Our children were early risers and in the community in which we lived at the time the church we attended held an **8:00 AM service in the chapel. Compared to the sanctuary with its large organ, two aisles, balcony, etc, the chapel was much more intimate. No stained glass windows, no choir. Just around a dozen or so pews, a piano, and the minister. It helped that the minister was quite focused on serving others and the sermon and scriptures and anecdotes shared were often intended to encourage that type of devotion. Aside from religion, developed over centuries, we forget that the human species would have never survived had we not cared for and served others, most especially 'the least of these'.

I miss that church; when we moved away, it was difficult to find another in which we felt that spirituality. Keep searching and questioning.

 

*If you ever watched the scene in the Spielberg directed The Color Purple where Shug Avery leads the juke joint denizens to her preacher daddy's church, you know just how amazing a service can be when it happens with the congregants in tune with the Lord's will and not their own. That was not a performance, that was a soul reaching out for love and forgiveness on Earth and in Heaven. In contrast, some of the services I've attended do have that feeling of 'performance' over substance.

**I have so many stories of attending this service as often the only family with small children among a  chapel congregation whose average age was probably 75. But this is not the time nor place.

Edited by Mrs Whiggins
Posted
9 hours ago, Fastbreak said:

I remember when I was 6 and my grandfather took me to Easter church. I had so many questions.

“Jesus sounds like a really cool guy!”
“Jesus died for your sins”
“So I don’t have sin?”
“No, you still have”
“Then why did he die”
“Well, god resurrected him to show he was more powerful than death”
“Oh that’s cool! So he is still alive?”
“No, he went to heaven”
“So he was dead? But he went and told all the people who killed him they were wrong?”
“No, the cave were his body laid was empty, so Mary knew he had risen”
“Oh, his mother, the Virgin Mary?”
“No, this Mary was a prostitute”
“So the prostitute said he was alive, but many other people saw him I guess? It must have been the talk of Jerusalem that a dead guy was alive”
“No, not really, but the gospels in the Bible wrote about it 70 to 150 years later”
“So why did he die again?”
“God works in mysterious ways boy”
 

Props that 6 year old Fastbreak didn't ask: "Gramps, what is a prostitute?"

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Posted

Semi-connected thoughts:

1. I’d recommend reading and rereading the Sermon on the Mount. Contemplating everything in there and its application could be a lifetime exercise. Actually following it would make for a life well-lived.

2. We should remember that church isn’t a commodity or service that we shop for and purchase — or at least it shouldn’t be. If your church community is actively living out the Sermon on the Mount, it might be worth it to deal with services that don’t move you. If the purpose of the music is to worship God, then your feelings on the music aren’t all that important.

3. That said, church meetings are important for a healthy church. Congregational singing is important for a community and for our own spiritual well-being. It’s harder to hate someone if I’m engaged in music-making with them, even if the music feels asinine to me. You don’t have to jump around or act super emotionally, but I’d recommend making yourself sing along, even with the sillier songs.

4. I used to count the lyric references to self (I, me, etc.) vs. the reference to God (You, he, God, etc.) and see which was more. I figured that if we’re singing more about ourselves, we might be worshipping ourselves. I don’t do this anymore and think it’s probably unhealthy spiritually and overly cynical, but I still agree with the general premise. There are modern hymns-writers that don’t write the in the style of Cartman’s Faith +1. Maybe see if you can turn the worship folks on to them. They are much better sing along songs.

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Posted
12 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

I put this here because it feels right. 
 

I go to church. I give back to the needy with my time and money yet I am not feeling it in church. We did Easter service yesterday because today would be packed but the whole time it felt like a Rolling Stones concert and it all felt so forced. I’ve never been one to raise hands and pray over people but I am one to actually help people. I just feel weird sometimes when almost everyone but me is singing and praising but I am just standing there. I wish I could get into it more but I just don’t feel ( that ).  I do give my church credit in that they do not get into politics so it isn’t that. I can say I’ve never felt closer to Christ than with a charity I do that helps special needs people run triathlons and half marathons. 

I just really wondered during the laser show yesterday am I the oddball or am I real ? Is this your 40’s??

I think I’m kind of there with you.  And I don’t want to chime in with a suggestion to try a different church, because clearly you’re at yours for a reason.

I think a lot of this is just seasons of life man. You have younger people who can just plunge into it because it’s just them and their head and lives can hold all this big stuff.  And you have the olds who also have the time and need to fill it up with meaning.  Me?  Kids, spouse, work, finance, older parents, health.  It’s not just church, my head can’t handle the big stuff and big thoughts.  Even the books I find time for, I’ve noticed need to be less demanding on me.  I’ve seen this happen with my own dad, who is now at the age of coming back around. 
 

I think it’s win at most services if I come and manage to take something small away or spend a few minutes thinking on things outside of the day-to-day.  There’s a point in our liturgy where the choir tells us to “lay aside all earthly cares” and no matter what persuasion or faith or non-faith you are, we should all take just a bit of time to pull back from the tyranny of the immediate demands.

It’s just super hard to do that in your 40s. You’ll never be more at the mercy of whatever someone else is needing.  So I think keep doing what you’re doing, especially the volunteer stuff, and keep going to church and looking for a small moment there of meaning. 

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Posted
24 minutes ago, Mole said:

Semi-connected thoughts:

1. I’d recommend reading and rereading the Sermon on the Mount. Contemplating everything in there and its application could be a lifetime exercise. Actually following it would make for a life well-lived.

2. We should remember that church isn’t a commodity or service that we shop for and purchase — or at least it shouldn’t be. If your church community is actively living out the Sermon on the Mount, it might be worth it to deal with services that don’t move you. If the purpose of the music is to worship God, then your feelings on the music aren’t all that important.

3. That said, church meetings are important for a healthy church. Congregational singing is important for a community and for our own spiritual well-being. It’s harder to hate someone if I’m engaged in music-making with them, even if the music feels asinine to me. You don’t have to jump around or act super emotionally, but I’d recommend making yourself sing along, even with the sillier songs.

4. I used to count the lyric references to self (I, me, etc.) vs. the reference to God (You, he, God, etc.) and see which was more. I figured that if we’re singing more about ourselves, we might be worshipping ourselves. I don’t do this anymore and think it’s probably unhealthy spiritually and overly cynical, but I still agree with the general premise. There are modern hymns-writers that don’t write the in the style of Cartman’s Faith +1. Maybe see if you can turn the worship folks on to them. They are much better sing along songs.

Interesting. Im a non-church goer. In the few times I go, I dislike the group singing aspect and too much (any?) of it would actually turn me away. Probably another reason why I’m not a good fit.



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