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Shit you have heard in a bar

Longboard Horn

By Longboard Horn
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Dertyberd

Dertyberd 394

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Posted
21 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

Damn, that’s a lot to breakdown from a St Patty’s conversation.

Old man was talking about his second young wife was letting it flow.  He wasn't the least bit bothered with anything or anyone.   The four tables around went silent for 90 seconds after the Dachau reference.  One of those moments where everyone is eavesdropping not because they want to, but he was loud as fuck and strangers were waiting for the bomb to drop.  It indeed dropped. 

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NAVY

NAVY 6740

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Was a bartender while attending UT Austin in the mid-90s. Mark Henry (power lifter, wrestler) used to drop by on hip hop night. Massive person IRL but a pretty chill dude. 

One night a scrawny proto-hipster kept bumping/dancing into Mark right in front of the bar taps. After 15 minutes of agitation Mark shouts   “you bump me one more time and I’ll tear your fucking head off!” 

The music stopped.  Everything stopped. People were checking to see if they had shit their pants.  That huge angry voice was devastating.  

Mr. scrawny most likely shit himself... left immediately holding his ass. 

Ahhh, hip hop night. Good times. 

Also, don’t mess around with super humans. 

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UTPhil2006

UTPhil2006 3807

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On 4/26/2019 at 5:34 PM, NAVY said:

Was a bartender while attending UT Austin in the mid-90s. Mark Henry (power lifter, wrestler) used to drop by on hip hop night. Massive person IRL but a pretty chill dude. 

One night a scrawny proto-hipster kept bumping/dancing into Mark right in front of the bar taps. After 15 minutes of agitation Mark shouts   “you bump me one more time and I’ll tear your fucking head off!” 

The music stopped.  Everything stopped. People were checking to see if they had shit their pants.  That huge angry voice was devastating.  

Mr. scrawny most likely shit himself... left immediately holding his ass. 

Ahhh, hip hop night. Good times. 

Also, don’t mess around with super humans. 

Just reenacting that scene in my head scared the shit out of me.  I can't imagine someone of that size saying something like that to me

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luke duke

luke duke 6413

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My friend tells me that we got into an elevator in Jester with Aaron Humphrey late one night. I may have been overserved, so I don’t remember. Apparently, I started talking shit for some dumb reason. Later my friend told me that he considered punching me to spare me from certain death had Aaron decided to do so himself.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

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On 4/26/2019 at 2:04 AM, HookMD said:

Dive bar overheard conversations: I have three kids, but they were all by c-section, so my p---y is still real tight.

Damn, got nervous for a second.  Only 1 from c-section so sounds like its not her

On 4/29/2019 at 10:07 AM, luke duke said:

My friend tells me that we got into an elevator in Jester with Aaron Humphrey late one night. I may have been overserved, so I don’t remember. Apparently, I started talking shit for some dumb reason. Later my friend told me that he considered punching me to spare me from certain death had Aaron decided to do so himself.

"YOU DON'T MOW ANOTHER MANS LAWN"

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Nuge

Nuge 1968

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On 4/26/2019 at 3:34 PM, NAVY said:

Was a bartender while attending UT Austin in the mid-90s. Mark Henry (power lifter, wrestler) used to drop by on hip hop night. Massive person IRL but a pretty chill dude. 

One night a scrawny proto-hipster kept bumping/dancing into Mark right in front of the bar taps. After 15 minutes of agitation Mark shouts   “you bump me one more time and I’ll tear your fucking head off!” 

The music stopped.  Everything stopped. People were checking to see if they had shit their pants.  That huge angry voice was devastating.  

Mr. scrawny most likely shit himself... left immediately holding his ass. 

Ahhh, hip hop night. Good times. 

Also, don’t mess around with super humans. 

I can hear the record needle scratch sound while reading this.

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