Tom "the turtle" Herman [Lame Duck or greatest 5d chess player ever?]

[Treefidy 1463]

1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

I think you're overestimating our level of "intense fan scrutiny" relative to other successful P5 programs.

And how many successful P5 programs wouldn't be a pressure cooker if you lost the opener two seasons in a row to fucking Maryland?  

Exactly.  tOSU would have fired UM for cause instead of suspension if he lost his last 2 openers to Maryland (and/or went .500)  Thing is, he wouldn't.  He would fire his shitty OC, find him a soft landing with one of his former assistants.

 

[George Clooney 378]

3 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I think you're overestimating our level of "intense fan scrutiny" relative to other successful P5 programs.

And how many successful P5 programs wouldn't be a pressure cooker if you lost the opener two seasons in a row to fucking Maryland?  

Maybe, I'm sure there's a few other programs out there who'd be coming down on Herman harder than we are. I think losing to Maryland two seasons in a row justifies an increase in pressure on TH, but it started after last year's loss to them. He's clearly a dipshit for some of the hires he's made, the personnel he uses, his press conferences, etc., but I think the pressure should temper it unless he starts 2-4 or worse. Starting 2-4 is looking increasingly likely, but that actually needs to happen before we roll out the guillotines. 

[SaucyJack 3488]

14 minutes ago, South Austin said:

What if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if Tom Herman was offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?

Hypothetically, it would be Enron stock.

[C-Man 27222]

When we hire a new coach eventually, I think it needs to be someone who's proven they can rebuild a program from the ground up. I don't want anyone who walked into a good situation and made them better. I think Muschamp fits the bill if he gets South Carolina to 10+ wins this year. This might sound ridiculous, but our players are just used to losing. The program is mired in a culture of losing, and I think there's a good chance Herman is going to lose the locker room if he can't beat at least one of USC/TCU.

The idea of Boom coming back is intriguing. I think he’s learned a lot about being a HC. Curious to see how 2018 plays out for him. Pair him with somebody like Coach Bro at OC and I could get excited about that. Well, at least moreso than Herman at this point.

[SHOOTER12 8806]

On 9/1/2018 at 11:54 AM, 6th Street said:

That 4 game stretch of USC-TCU-OU-KSU should be fun. Could be 4 blowouts in a row

Jesus Christ, if I weren't sick before I damn sure am now thinking about that stretch Fark

Edited September 3, 2018 by SHOOTER12

[David Dennison 18856]

5 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Jesus Christ, if I weren't sick before I damn sure am now thinking about that stretch Fark

Can you imagine the meltdown if we lose all of those games?

 

[TriStone 1724]

Umm, yes.  Have you read this board the last couple days?

[TexasBeta 1261]

43 minutes ago, BrazilHorn said:

My worry is that Surly is on the edge of UT fandom. I wonder if the rank and file just accept the status quo.

Texas could be staring 1-5 in the face really quickly. 2-4 looks more realistic. I wonder what happens to Herman then. At that point you have to be getting crushed on recruiting trail as USC, OU and TCU would have won.

Texas goes 2-4 or 1-5 to start I could then see Avg Horn Fan starting to get upset. Especially if Jimbo makes some noise.

I do see CDC making Tom at that point fire Beck and the Offensive Staff. One of those "they go or you go" deals.

We've seen this movie before as well. Fire whole D staff or O Staff. Kids get another coordinator and another system to learn. We lose same amount of games. Herman gone in year 3. 

[Beau Vine 54218]

7 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

Can you imagine the meltdown if we lose all of those games?

 

I don't think many posters will be surprised if this team loses to three ranked teams and the Purple Wizard in four weeks.

Meltdowns happen the worst when we lose to inferior teams for idiotic reasons.  Like, you know, the Maryland game.

[pyrohornIII 4814]

I could go with coach Bro as our OC now.  As long as Herman stayed hands off.  Let him do the schmoozing and politicking.  He is good at that.  Just hire good OCs and let them do their jobs...don't meddle.  Don't mess with their stuff and then when you screw it up, blame it on them (Looking at you Mack).   He has done this successfully with Orlando.  I don't know why he can't do that with OC.  He obviously made an improvement with Hand.   It's befuddling to say the least.  Unless he doesn't want anyone to outshine his Mensa mind when it comes to being an offensive side guru. 

[Wally Pryor 5261]

13 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Jesus Christ, if I weren't sick before I damn sure am now thinking about that stretch Fark

We're not going to get blown out by either USC or K-State, even with the latter at Manhattan.  I think.  Those games will be close and we will probably be in a position to win both.  But with our current QB situation being a position to win has shown it yields shit results.      TCU and OU?  Could be ugly.  

Likely scenario is 1-4 after 5 games.  And if Herman continues to dig a deeper hole with each word that comes out of his mouth (of which, of course, none of us uninformed minions will ever be able to understand), then he's going to have trouble even getting Michelle to provide a place for comfort and shelter.  Because Baylor may provide a respite but Okie State in Stillwater and West Virginia won't. 

I'm numb to the stuff  - now on our 9th year of mediocrity with no end in sight.  It's part comical, but mostly just pathetic.   We can laugh at those around us for therapeutic reasons as we see fit.   But given what we're supposed to be, we're as big a laughingstock as there is in the country right now. 

[EastTexan 662]

7 hours ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

I’ve been avoiding everything Texas besides surly but is the press conference tomorrow instead of today? Or did Herman cancel it so he doesn’t have to talk until he’s carried off the field Saturday for beating Tulsa and we get a pic of him and cdc hugging like Mack got from deloss?

If CDC hugs Herman anytime soon, he should have his hands clamped on Herman's throat.

[EastTexan 662]

2 hours ago, Treefidy said:

Not really.  Just prepare a power point with his record, a list of his assistants, and clips of his pressers where he defends the few assholes on his staff and has no clue what the problem is or how to fix it.  

Theres about a 100 or more big swinging dick egos in football who would take a look and know they could do better.   Not that they all could, but if you're coaching at this level you have a lot of narcissism/ego/hubris/confidence, pick your combo.  

Also, Herman ain't CDC's man.

[scottsins 1966]

15 minutes ago, pyrohornIII said:

I could go with coach Bro as our OC now.  As long as Herman stayed hands off.  Let him do the schmoozing and politicking.  He is good at that.  Just hire good OCs and let them do their jobs...don't meddle.  Don't mess with their stuff and then when you screw it up, blame it on them (Looking at you Mack).   He has done this successfully with Orlando.  I don't know why he can't do that with OC.  He obviously made an improvement with Hand.   It's befuddling to say the least.  Unless he doesn't want anyone to outshine his Mensa mind when it comes to being an offensive side guru. 

Alignment laughs at your suggestion.  Your last sentence nails it.

TH is an OC/HC.  He is not going to bring in an OC like Bro, who would install a completely new and different offensive system than the one Herman KNOWS (in his ego-centered existence) is the best EVAR!!!

He has held back from meddling with the defense because he isn’t a defensive minded HC.

[David Dennison 18856]

14 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

We're not going to get blown out by either USC or K-State, even with the latter at Manhattan.  I think.  Those games will be close and we will probably be in a position to win both.  But with our current QB situation being a position to win has shown it yields shit results.      TCU and OU?  Could be ugly.  

Likely scenario is 1-4 after 5 games.  And if Herman continues to dig a deeper hole with each word that comes out of his mouth (of which, of course, none of us uninformed minions will ever be able to understand), then he's going to have trouble even getting Michelle to provide a place for comfort and shelter.  Because Baylor may provide a respite but Okie State in Stillwater and West Virginia won't. 

I'm numb to the stuff  - now on our 9th year of mediocrity with no end in sight.  It's part comical, but mostly just pathetic.   We can laugh at those around us for therapeutic reasons as we see fit.   But given what we're supposed to be, we're as big a laughingstock as there is in the country right now. 

If we are 1-5 after Dallas, with Okie State, WVU, Iowa State (good grief) and Tech in Lubbock remaining, we could be looking at 4-8 or 3-9.

[Not a Sock 2313]

I also wonder how Herman is going to respond when Riley and Jimbo rape Texas in recruiting, because this Amway  mother fucker won't have Strong's personality to recruit with out dealing with his shitty record.

[ClubWhatever 12138]

I don't think we go 4-8 or 3-9 but if we did either then that would be the worst season, percentage-wise, since 1956.

[Wally Pryor 5261]

5 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

If we are 1-5 after Dallas, with Okie State, WVU, Iowa State (good grief) and Tech in Lubbock remaining, we could be looking at 4-8 or 3-9.

I don't see us beating TCU and certainly not OU.  SC is the more likely win before K State.   We could play Menstrual U, in Manhattan, and somehow figure out how to lose. 

[ClubWhatever 12138]

2 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I'm worried about losing to fucking Tulsa. 

I'm not.  They are terrible.  Losing to them would be worse than losing to Kansas.

[A’Dam Psycho 1470]

Did anybody actually see USC play Saturday? They’re very beatable and will probably be over confident after they beat an overrated Stanford team. Neg me to oblivion but I think we win that game.

[Rockethorn1978 6077]

3 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

You know what, I seriously wouldn't be so certain we are going to win.

We should fucking win no doubt, but I that is how little faith I have in this staff and team. I'm worried about losing to fucking Tulsa. 

Let me say that again to make sure we are clear.

I'm not sure the Texas Longhorns will beat Tulsa in.. wait for it FOOTBALL.

As such, does this dinner have an extra seat and does anyone want my ticket?

Then again.. wait, it might be the only victory I get to watch in person. 

Fuck me...

I’ll be checking my phone. I think we will beat Tulsa and how we do it will determine how I think we do the rest of the year.

if Tom wants to win back the fans he better start this Saturday and not pull a Charlie who would beat ND but lose to Kansas, I can’t do another roller coaster of ups and downs.

[A’Dam Psycho 1470]

2 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Are you actually aware of the fact that we lost to Maryland?

USC is not a great team, they probably aren't even good. 

Neither is Maryland.

USC vs Maryland would have been a close game. 

[Slacks 6819]

Most of us would be thrilled if Mack were brought in as the interim coach and Herman fired this week. 
 
 

especially if it means Greg Davis is back.

[BrazilHorn 6599]

50 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

Can you imagine the meltdown if we lose all of those games?

 

I’m expecting 2-4 or 1-5. This team hasn’t shown it knows how to win close games. 

A very bad losing record is staring UT in face. 

I hope it doesn’t end up that way but I went from seeing an 8 win season fairly readily to after the Garret Gray as wideout flashbacks I saw with Porter/Beck to not even seeing that as an option any longer. 

[David Dennison 18856]

8 minutes ago, A’Dam Psycho said:

Did anybody actually see USC play Saturday? They’re very beatable and will probably be over confident after they beat an overrated Stanford team. Neg me to oblivion but I think we win that game.

2-1 will result in a whole lot of Kool-Aid drinking.

Ahhhh, fandom.

[jimmyjazz 45914]

3 hours ago, Bullneck said:

You know, I'd almost forgotten about that game.  Thanks.

Yeah, that was unpleasant.  I went to the game with Jim Eno (drummer for Spoon) since he's an NC State grad in electrical engineering.  We both thought it would be a Texas romp.  Whoops.

[A’Dam Psycho 1470]

1 minute ago, BurntEyes said:

Yeah and probably more competitive than the shit I watched.

Yeah I mean Texas vs USC is still 50/50 to me so is K-State. TCU will be tough though

[SHOOTER12 8806]

1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Jesus Christ, if I weren't sick before I damn sure am now thinking about that stretch Fark

I go in for my pacemaker procedure next Monday. I hope Tom Herman & Company don't kill my ass before then. There were a couple times during the games I had to turn the damn thing off and go back and watch bits and pieces of it on DVR. Absolutely sickening. It would be nice to see the horns on top one last time before I go to the Happy Hunting Ground although I'm not holding my freaking breath

[Rockethorn1978 6077]

It’s almost Tuesday so drunk pissed off angry fan will wear off and after we beat Tulsa Saturday at home this place will be sounding like texags and the “call me crazy but I think we can beat Clemson.” As we prepare for usc.

I just want to enjoy college football again and not have to hear from co workers that are Arkansas fans or aggy that both live off the nut sacks of the good sec teams hat actually compete for a natty.

 

[texaslong 678]

6 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I go in for my pacemaker procedure next Monday. I hope Tom Herman & Company don't kill my ass before then. There were a couple times during the games I had to turn the damn thing off and go back and watch bits and pieces of it on DVR. Absolutely sickening. It would be nice to see the horns on top one last time before I go to the Happy Hunting Ground although I'm not holding my freaking breath

Damn. Hope everything goes well for you. 

[SHOOTER12 8806]

Just now, texaslong said:

Damn. Hope everything goes well for you. 

Thanks brother...

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

2 hours ago, George Clooney said:

When we hire a new coach eventually, I think it needs to be someone who's proven they can rebuild a program from the ground up. I don't want anyone who walked into a good situation and made them better. I think Muschamp fits the bill if he gets South Carolina to 10+ wins this year. This might sound ridiculous, but our players are just used to losing. The program is mired in a culture of losing, and I think there's a good chance Herman is going to lose the locker room if he can't beat at least one of USC/TCU.

Oh fuck no. First Muschamp ain't taking the Cocks to ten wins this year. If he does I'll eat three-day-old swampass underwear. 

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

 

The idea of Boom coming back is intriguing. I think he’s learned a lot about being a HC. Curious to see how 2018 plays out for him. Pair him with somebody like Coach Bro at OC and I could get excited about that. Well, at least moreso than Herman at this point.

 

I'll give you that -- I'd rather have Coach Boom than Coach Womb any day.

[South Austin 52489]

24 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I go in for my pacemaker procedure next Monday. I hope Tom Herman & Company don't kill my ass before then. There were a couple times during the games I had to turn the damn thing off and go back and watch bits and pieces of it on DVR. Absolutely sickening. It would be nice to see the horns on top one last time before I go to the Happy Hunting Ground although I'm not holding my freaking breath

My expert clinical advice is that you don't watch Longhorn football for the rest of the year.  I have a law degree, so I know what I'm talking about.

[SEC 1174]

Mensa tried to sound smart by quoting "Of Mice and Men" at his presser

except, much like Clay Davis, the idiot revealed how little he knows about the book in the process. And seemingly quoted looney tunes instead of the actual book. What a fucking moron.

[Treefidy 1463]

1 hour ago, TexasBeta said:

We've seen this movie before as well. Fire whole D staff or O Staff. Kids get another coordinator and another system to learn. We lose same amount of games. Herman gone in year 3. 

except if a new OC is brought in it will be the first system the newer players will have to learn, because we sure as fuck don't have a system right now.  Magic 8 ball playcalling and scheme is not a system, it's 52 pick-up with a playbook.  

[Bullneck 19084]

35 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Thanks brother...

 

(Lest anyone think I'm an ass for posting this, I did it for Shooter on the old website).  For realz, tho, good luck.

Edited September 3, 2018 by Bullneck

[Treefidy 1463]

47 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I go in for my pacemaker procedure next Monday. I hope Tom Herman & Company don't kill my ass before then. There were a couple times during the games I had to turn the damn thing off and go back and watch bits and pieces of it on DVR. Absolutely sickening. It would be nice to see the horns on top one last time before I go to the Happy Hunting Ground although I'm not holding my freaking breath

As a Texas fan, what are the signs you need one?  Asking for a friend.  

Good luck, seriously.  

[Steel Shank 9424]

While watching the game Saturday, I quickly determined I would have rather been laying pipe or enjoying a nice sandwich in a quiet park somewhere.

 

Or both.

[Hanrahan 1306]

I think Herman is going to right the ship and kick some ass. Not happy at all so far but I think some ass whooping snare coming.

[freyguy 4269]

My grass needs mowing, and I was too hungover to do it yesterday.  And we’ve now had 2 days straight of rain.  Fuck you, Coach Mensa.

[David Dennison 18856]

4 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

While watching the game Saturday, I quickly determined I would have rather been laying pipe or enjoying a nice sandwich in a quiet park somewhere.

 

Or both.

[SaucyJack 3488]

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

You know what, I seriously wouldn't be so certain we are going to win.

I'm worried about losing to fucking Tulsa. 

Let me say that again to make sure we are clear.

I'm not sure the Texas Longhorns will beat Tulsa in.. wait for it FOOTBALL.

Then again.. wait, it might be the only victory I get to watch in person. 

Fuck me...

We'll cover. #MeTooMensa

[RTF Horn 46]

It's been said a lot here and on TOS, esp. 3 years ago in Charlie's 2nd year, that coaches who win the National Championship either do so in their 2nd year, or that 2nd year is a damn good season that sets up for future glory.

We have to go back almost 30 years for that not to be true.   Going backwards...

Nick Saban - First season at LSU went 8-4, 2nd season he won the SEC and ended up getting the title in his 4th year there.  First season at Alabama went 7-6, 2nd season he made it to the SEC championship game and lost.  Won the title the following season (ugh)

Dabo Swinney - First season at Clemson took over halfway through the season and finished 4-3, 2nd season he went 9-5, but also made it to the ACC championship game (lost).  He didn't win the championship until his 9th season, but starting in his 4th season he's hit at least 10 wins for 7 straight years and counting.

Urban Meyer - at Utah (in the Mountain West) went 10-2 in year 1, 12-0 in year 2 and then went to Florida where he went 9-3 in season 1 and won the title in season 2.  At OSU he went 12-0 in his first season, 12-2 in his second and won the title in year 3.

Jimbo Fisher - went to the ACC title game in year one (lost) and won the title in his 4th year

Gene Chizik - first year went 8-5, second year won the title.

Les Miles - yeah, he took over from Saban, but he still made it to the SEC championship game (lost) in his first year.  Won title in his 3rd season.

Mack Brown - first season went 9-3, second season he took us to the Big XII title game.  Didn't win the title until his 8th season.

Pete Carroll - 6-6 in his first year, won the Pac10 in his 2nd year and then titles in his 3rd & 4th years

Jim Tressel - 7-5 in his first year, won the title in his 2nd

Larry Coker - took over a loaded team and won the title in his first year.  Still won the Big East title in years 2 & 3 going 12-1 and 11-2 respectively

Bob Stoops - 7-5 in year 1, won the title in year 2.  Consumed a massive amount of dicks during his tenure.

Bobby Bowden - going back a long way, but he went 5-6 in year 1 and then 10-2 in year 2.  Dominated CFB during the late 80's-90's & won 2 titles.

Phil Fulmer - was interim coach for year 1 going 4-0.  Went 10-2 in year 2 and finally won the title in year 7

Tom Osborne - while it took him 20 years to win a title, he went 9-2-1 in year 1, 9-3 in year 2 and then 10-2 in year 3 winning the Big 8.  Never had less than 9 wins.  That's a pretty incredible run.

Gene Stallings - first year went 7-5, second was 11-1 and then won the title in his 3rd year

Don James - took 16 years to win his only title, but after 6-5 & 5-6 starts he won the Pac 8 in his 3rd year.  He's the most recent example of it not working, but that's 27 years ago.

Dennis Erickson - took over a loaded Miami team from Jimmy Johnson and won the title in his first year.  Did it again in his 3rd year.

That gets us back to the 1991 season.  Mack was the last championship-winning coach to lose his opener in his 2nd season and as we discussed that was on some fluky special teams shit vs. NC State.  He still played for the Big XII title that year.

 

tldr - history says that if a coach doesn't do significantly well in his 2nd season, like going to the conference title game or getting 9/10 wins, he probably won't ever get a title.  Lenny Mensa has a long way to go if we're honestly going to make it to the Big XII title game this year after what we saw on Saturday.

[SHOOTER12 8806]

25 minutes ago, Treefidy said:

As a Texas fan, what are the signs you need one?  Asking for a friend.  

Good luck, seriously.  

I had heart failure back in 2005. In a somewhat good recovery although I wound up with Afib out of it. Had a heart attack last November in the doctors have been pushing for either a defibrillator or pacemaker even prior to that. The afib is got to the point where I can feel it continually like something's about to bust out of my chest and why bit for the shortness of breath on a pretty regular basis if I get stressed or excited. Last time I went to the cardiologist few months ago he said the defibrillator at this point would do no good and if they were going to want to do a biventricular pacemaker which they felt would be very beneficial. Hoping and praying for the best.

[EtOH 63]

Just so we’re clear, Tom Herman made a daily paycheck of ~$15,000 today. That’s what he cashes every fucking day.  I don’t feel like we’re getting value for dollar. 

[bschoolprof 6252]

5 minutes ago, RTF Horn said:

 

 

 Lenny Mensa has a long way to go if we're honestly going to make it to the Big XII title game this year after what we saw on Saturday.

Wait, so Mensa is Lenny? I thought the players were Lenny in squeezing the bunny/mouse because they were trying to be too perfect. What/Whom does that make Tom?  Serious responses only please.  

[bschoolprof 6252]

2 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I had heart failure back in 2005. In a somewhat good recovery although I wound up with Afib out of it. Had a heart attack last November in the doctors have been pushing for either a defibrillator or pacemaker even prior to that. The afib is got to the point where I can feel it continually like something's about to bust out of my chest and why bit for the shortness of breath on a pretty regular basis if I get stressed or excited. Last time I went to the cardiologist few months ago he said the defibrillator at this point would do no good and if they were going to want to do a biventricular pacemaker which they felt would be very beneficial. Hoping and praying for the best.

Good luck man.  Afib is scary shit.  

[Beau Vine 54218]

12 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

Wait, so Mensa is Lenny? I thought the players were Lenny in squeezing the bunny/mouse because they were trying to be too perfect. What/Whom does that make Tom?  Serious responses only please.  

Herman is not Lenny.

Three possibilities, IMO:

• George Milton: A quick-witted man who is Lennie's guardian and best friend. His friendship with Lennie helps sustain his dream of a better future. He was bound in teasing Lennie since he was young. He is described by Steinbeck in the novel as "small and quick," every part of him being "defined," with small strong hands on slender arms. He has a dark face and "restless eyes" and "sharp, strong features" including a "thin, bony nose."
• Curley: The Boss' son, a young, pugnacious character, once a semi-professional boxer. He is described by others, with some irony, as "handy", partly because he likes to keep a glove filled with vaseline on his left hand. He is very jealous and protective of his wife and immediately develops a dislike toward Lennie. At one point, Curley loses his temper after he sees Lennie appear to laugh at him, and ends up with his hand horribly damaged after Lennie fights back against him.
• Candy's dog: A blind dog who is described as "old", "stinky", and "crippled", and is killed by Carlson.

 

 

 

[Hagbard Celine 10859]

from today's espn article, this can't be quoted enough:

Quote

"The reason we played so poorly, in my opinion, is actually a good reason, because of how close this team has become, how badly they wanted to perform for each other, for their coaches."

Mensa should eject him on principle.  I understand we have to be tolerant of people who have difficulty expressing themselves verbally.  It is an entirely different thing to try jedi mindtricks and fail at it, this poorly.  It's the Chewbacca-Costanza hybrid defense.  Spout utter nonsense and hope everyone will take pity on you.  We expect shit like this from aggy.  We are not aggy.  This is not our standard.

[Dark Horse 2280]

It's been said a lot here and on TOS, esp. 3 years ago in Charlie's 2nd year, that coaches who win the National Championship either do so in their 2nd year, or that 2nd year is a damn good season that sets up for future glory.
We have to go back almost 30 years for that not to be true.   Going backwards...

I’m still amazed by this every time that I read it.