Tom "the turtle" Herman [Lame Duck or greatest 5d chess player ever?]

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

1 minute ago, bschoolprof said:

Wait, you're the Strong apologist from shaggy that wanted us to hire Jeff Traylor as HC? Holy shit. Was that cdt23 or sweetjones?  Good times.   

And why is that such a bad idea? Show your work. 

[Not a Sock 2308]

3 minutes ago, Auto Driller said:

Tom Herman needs a serious dose of humility or he risks losing the entire fan base and (perhaps the only thing that matters) losing the BMD as well. The only way I see him changing anything is by Del Conte sitting him down and explaining the seriousness of the situation to him.

Next time a reporter asks how offensive playcalling will be handled, he should skip the condescending and insulting tone. Answer the fucking question. “Tim calls plays. I have veto power.” Or “I decided to take over play calling for the rest of the year.” 

I am willing to bet fat stacks of cash that humility and Herman do not end up in the same room.

Edited September 2, 2018 by Not a Sock

[Bruh Man 3160]

4 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

And Arkansas seems likely to start poaching dudes from ETX again. 

 I'm almost 50 and have loved this program since the day I was born thanks to a family tradition that goes back to the 1880s. I've seen some ups and downs since I started paying attention at the tail end of the DKR era and through the Akers years. My own time on the 40 was marked by some of the worst defeats in program history (McWilliams -- supposedly the Royal Regime Restored) and then there was the mixed bag of Mackovic, who was a total asshole but at least left behind a stocked cabinet when he was escorted off the premises. Then Mack -- the second-best coach in Texas history, until he lapsed into being the worst coach in Texas history. Strong tried and failed to dig out of the crater he left behind and Herman is trying to do the same thing, but it's not working, and I honestly do not know where we are or how to get out of this mess. Fire Herman after the end of next year? Seems likely unless he is able to win at least 8. If he could win 8 this year, that would really help, but I am pretty sure that isn't in the cards right now, but the program really needs some continuity.

 I grew up ping-ponging back and forth between Texas and Tennessee and the woes of the Vols always amused me, but right now it seems like we are on the fast track to becoming just like them. 

I was blessed to be on campus for Colt's years. When was the last time we had an offense that scored as easily as Colt/Shipley/Cosby did? It was tic-tac-toe for them. Since then our offense has looked like it's playing in mud. Also when was the last time we had a bully on the interior of the oline? Justin Blaylock? The way our guys get stood up is frustrating to see considering all the improvements to the S&C program. We also haven't had an elite edge rusher in several seasons. Roach looked like that guy his freshman season but his impact has declined with the position change.  I'm also dumbfounded about how Maryland looked much more aggressive engaging blocks compared to our players. This trend has been noticeable since the BYU debacle a few years ago. Our guys, whether it be WRs or linemen, simply do not engage blocks with the same level of physicality as many of our opponents. I don't think Herman should be fired now or even next year. But my confidence in him took a huge blow yesterday. The sharks in the water (OU and A&M) only makes this sting worse. 

[TexasFan21 1275]

https://twitter.com/max_olson/status/1036284810304598019

[bschoolprof 6232]

2 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

And why is that such a bad idea? Show your work. 

Just because hiring Herman was a poor choice either at the time (so said some) or now after 20 months (so say many) doesn't mean poorer choices could not have been made.  Hiring a guy with no collegiate HC experience, who has gone on to other illustrious jobs like the Arkansas TE coach, would have been one of those poorer choices.  That this even needs to be explained to you is alternately highly troubling or amusing, take your pick.  

[Rockethorn1978 6061]

The offensive musical chairs game started when Mack knee jerked and tried to run Bama offense, ever since then we have been a revolving door of every offense ever invented.

CDC needs to make the change but also be able to have the sack to make sure whoever comes doesn't bring their buddies or mediocre junior high staff with them. 

[Irish Wrist Watch 1349]

31 minutes ago, Jester’s Inn said:

4)  can we please use the tight end, get rid of the wide receiver screen and move the ball north/south for 95% of the time??? 

If you want to break a run, use a fucking running back, not a receiver. Receivers might be pretty good at catching balls, but they're seldom any good at running in traffic, and they are much more likely to fumble after a couple of quick hits.

If you want someone to block for a runner, put a fullback in there, or do a conventional screen - or, here's an idea, how about a sweep. How about using the big dogs to punish cornerbacks all game long, until at the end of the game, they're laying down the moment they see a barrel-chested goon turn in their direction.

Edited September 2, 2018 by Irish Wrist Watch

[TXs 226]

Remember when they refused to play toneil last year because he couldn't take care of the ball but refuse to bench Sam after singlehandedly costing us 4 games with his simple jack Moxy.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

4 minutes ago, Bruh Man said:

I was blessed to be on campus for Colt's years. When was the last time we had an offense that scored as easily as Colt/Shipley/Cosby did? It was tic-tac-toe for them. Since then our offense has looked like it's playing in mud. Also when was the last time we had a bully on the interior of the oline? Justin Blaylock? The way our guys get stood up is frustrating to see considering all the improvements to the S&C program. We also haven't had an elite edge rusher in several seasons. Roach looked like that guy his freshman season but his impact has declined with the position change.  I'm also dumbfounded about how Maryland looked much more aggressive engaging blocks compared to our players. This trend has been noticeable since the BYU debacle a few years ago. Our guys, whether it be WRs or linemen, simply do not engage blocks with the same level of physicality as many of our opponents. I don't think Herman should be fired now or even next year. But my confidence in him took a huge blow yesterday. The sharks in the water (OU and A&M) only makes this sting worse. 

The WRs did block well when Norvell was coaching them. That's my only quibble. He had those guys locking down, OU style (meaning: holding, lol, but it worked.) 

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

1 minute ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

If you want to break a run, use a fucking running back, not a receiver. Receivers might be pretty good at catching balls, but they're seldom any good at running in traffic, and they are much more likely to fumble after a couple of quick hits.

If you want someone to block for a runner, put a fullback in there, or do a conventional screen - or, here's an idea, how about a sweep. How about using the big dogs to punish cornerbacks all game long, until at the end of the game, they're laying down the moment they see a barrel-chested goon turn in their direction.

Ehlinger is the only fullback on the roster. 

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

3 minutes ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

The offensive musical chairs game started when Mack knee jerked and tried to run Bama offense, ever since then we have been a revolving door of every offense ever invented.

CDC needs to make the change but also be able to have the sack to make sure whoever comes doesn't bring their buddies or mediocre junior high staff with them. 

And also commit to at least five years. That was what they did with Gundy at OSU and it's really worked out for them. No, not NCs, but fucking close, and nobody's calling for his head in Stillwater. Imagine what that approach could do here. 

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

5 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

Just because hiring Herman was a poor choice either at the time (so said some) or now after 20 months (so say many) doesn't mean poorer choices could not have been made.  Hiring a guy with no collegiate HC experience, who has gone on to other illustrious jobs like the Arkansas TE coach, would have been one of those poorer choices.  That this even needs to be explained to you is alternately highly troubling or amusing, take your pick.  

Jesus, sometimes you have to be bold. There were times that Saban, the Bear, and DKR had no college HC experience either. 

[NowThis 931]

for lulz, odds to win national title (b4 yesterday)

 

Alabama	2/1
Clemson	3/1
Georgia	9/1
Ohio State	9/1
Washington	12/1
Michigan	16/1
Oklahoma	16/1
Penn State	25/1
Wisconsin	25/1
Texas	28/1
Auburn	33/1
Michigan State	40/1
Notre Dame	40/1
Florida State	50/1
Miami, Fl.	50/1
LSU	66/1
Stanford	66/1
TCU	66/1
USC	66/1
Florida	100/1
Mississippi State	100/1
Nebraska	100/1
Oregon	100/1
Texas A&M	100/1
Virginia Tech	100/1
West Virginia	100/1
UCF	150/1
UCLA	150/1
Oklahoma State	250/1
Rutgers	500/1
Texas Tech	500/1

[rungeflash 322]

I don't know what to think.....other than it's time for TH and the entire program to start playing like their hair is on fire.  You have to coach like there's nothing to lose, Herman.....start coaching like that.  Or you will be gone.  This is like playing golf and all you see is the OB, water, rough and sand.  You never see the green or the fairway.  Guess what?  That fucking ball is not heading where you want and your scorecard will have a ton of crooked numbers on it.  We are several touchdowns better than the terps if the team plays like it has nothing to lose.  Poor coaching.

 

Edited September 2, 2018 by rungeflash
spelling

[EtOH 63]

If Chris del conte fired Tom Herman this afternoon and replaced him with Orlando by the end of the season we would have the exact same record. Prove me wrong. 

[freyguy 4245]

4 minutes ago, EtOH said:

If Chris del conte fired Tom Herman this afternoon and replaced him with Orlando by the end of the season we would have the exact same record. Prove me wrong. 

Quit gettin my dick hard and prove to us powdered eggs is on his way out.

[scottsins 1953]

50 minutes ago, UcancallmeSurly said:

This.. first step is fixing the DL/OL & then finding a QB that can execute a legitimate scheme.

that’s the non negotiable.. filling in the rest of the gaps determines if your championship level or not.

What a good is a QB that can extenuate a “legitimate scheme” when we don’t have such a scheme anyway?

[tbone_ 14020]

How about using the big dogs to punish cornerbacks all game long, until at the end of the game, they're laying down the moment they see a barrel-chested goon turn in their direction.

Our barrel-chested goons usually just run right by defenders, while said defenders run right by them for a TFL.

[WBT 20397]

20 minutes ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

CDC needs to make the change but also be able to have the sack to make sure whoever comes doesn't bring their buddies or mediocre junior high staff with them. 

That should be part of the vetting/interviewing process.  I'm hoping that we won't hire a 3rd straight guy with no plan as to how to bring in a top staff.

[dcar00 14023]

6 minutes ago, rungeflash said:

I don't know what to think.....other than it's time for TH and the entire program to start playing like their hair is on fire.  You have to coach like there's nothing to lose, Herman.....start coaching like that.  Or you will be gone.  This is like playing golf and all you see is the OB, water, rough and sand.  You never see the green or the fairway.  Guess what?  That fucking ball is not heading where you want and your scorecard will have a ton of crooked numbers on it.  We are several touchdowns better than the terps if the team plays like it has nothing to lose.  Poor coaching.

 

I get your point but it really won't matter.  no one should be surprised by what happened yesterday.  Tom Herman lost to a crappy Tech team last year at home on senior night after an entire off season and 11 games.  He's a pitiful excuse for a big time coach. 

he sticks with a QB who makes the same mistakes over and over again by having him throw when we don't need to.

He plays a running back who is markedly worse than the other 2 running backs.

His teams are constantly in the hole but it isn't that they aren't playing with their hair on fire , its because the coaches don't know what they are doing.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

Mack was an OK coach at UNC. Never could get past Bowden, but that's understandable given their recruiting bases. And he was a little better at UT for a few years, but he still had a nagging inability to be the top dog, and this time he didn't have the recruiting excuse. Finally, he got humiliated by OU yet again, in that shutout game that came despite him having Cedric Benson and Vince Young in the same backfield, and he started sacrificing his and GDGD's scheme to the talents of their players. We didn't lose again for a year and a half.

And that made Mack a "proven" coach. Hell, even his assistants were running off and winning NCs, for a minute. Looking at you Chizik.

But once Mack was a proven coach, he started to get fat, literally and figuratively. He expected recruits to flock to him instead of vice versa. He came to believe his own lackluster judgment in talent evaluation was impeccable. He was able to ride the fumes for a while, thanks to Colt and Jamaal, but eventually ran out of steam, and then rode his goodwill at least a season too long. And that's why we are where we are today. Had he stepped down in 2009 this might be an entirely different scenario, even if Muschamp had stepped in then. (Which already wasn't happening, but still...)

Point is: you don't necessarily want a proven coach -- you want a hungry coach. 

Edited September 2, 2018 by MaybeACoordinator

[Nicole44 22023]

Matt Canada following the Terps' win: "You talk about the thing I was most worried about, calling the game from the field. I've never done that before and I didn't want to screw that job up. " 

I hear you good buddy. 

Edited September 2, 2018 by Nicole44

[Irish Wrist Watch 1349]

Mack brought in some good coaches (on defense). Offensively, he recruited well early on. Then he got lazy. Passed up several Heisman winners, as I recall.

Charlie hired Watson. Tom hired Beck. Unbelievably shitty shitty choices.

That's it. Herman needs to take over play calling tomorrow.

[Eastwood 4394]

Woke up this morning and had to double check that I didn't dream that Tom Herman lost to a team full of 2 and 3 stars that were playing without a head coach. Nope, it was real. Fantastic.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3806]

Longhorn Football under Herman. More scat than that shaggyeskimo site. 

[williemackgarza 1826]

The problem is we arent developing our players.
Hands squad looked the most improved, ehlinger had a clean pocket on lots of plays. That never happened last year. These flat footed running plays have to go away. Let the RB pound some people.
Wasnt porter like 3-4 string on the depth chart, yet games on the line and whos out there?
But damn sam, i really rooted for the kid, makes stupid decisions that just cant be coached away.

Im not buying our players suck, shit Maryland worked us with shitty 2-3 star guys that were coached up.
Even the true frosh mocked us on his long TD. No one got pissed and returned the favor.
Herman is plain shit. Didnt wanna believe it, but after year 1 I kinda felt it in my bones. Yesterday just confirmed it.
OU must be licking there chops waiting to pounce on that ass

[TreatyOak 16147]

[Player 4575]

Our barrel-chested goons usually just run right by defenders, while said defenders run right by them for a TFL.

Daniel Young had some nice runs, and was laying the smack down on the first would be tacklers.

I’m sure the terps were happy to see him back on the sideline.

[Disco Missile 456]

1 hour ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Stems back to the crap that Mack left behind, and I do extend that charity to Herman too, somewhat. Legacies of shitty QBs and even worse OLs take years to overcome. It might be that I am being unfair to Herman, but there is nothing in his background that has told me he can build programs or win without a really good QB. You could say the same about Strong, but at least he recruited and developed Bridgewater. 

Fair enough. Thanks for answering. I was just curious.

[bschoolprof 6232]

35 minutes ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Mack brought in some good coaches (on defense). Offensively, he recruited well early on. Then he got lazy. Passed up several Heisman winners, as I recall.

Charlie hired Watson. Tom hired Beck. Unbelievably shitty shitty choices.

That's it. Herman needs to take over play calling tomorrow.

Won't make  a shit.  He already did that in the bowl game.  Our offense was still terrible.  The issues we have are systemic and extend far beyond which shitty play that our players can't execute we decide to call.  

Edited September 2, 2018 by bschoolprof

[Disco Missile 456]

27 minutes ago, williemackgarza said:

The problem is we arent developing our players.
Hands squad looked the most improved, ehlinger had a clean pocket on lots of plays. That never happened last year. These flat footed running plays have to go away. Let the RB pound some people.
Wasnt porter like 3-4 string on the depth chart, yet games on the line and whos out there?
But damn sam, i really rooted for the kid, makes stupid decisions that just cant be coached away.

Im not buying our players suck, shit Maryland worked us with shitty 2-3 star guys that were coached up.
Even the true frosh mocked us on his long TD. No one got pissed and returned the favor.
Herman is plain shit. Didnt wanna believe it, but after year 1 I kinda felt it in my bones. Yesterday just confirmed it.
OU must be licking there chops waiting to pounce on that ass

I think the development is coming. It's not a one year deal and historically when coaches have a quick turn around, it's because there is raw material to work with. 

Mack left Charlie an unbalanced*, mediocre roster with some talent on the DL and at RB. Charlie left Tom an unbalanced, mediocre roster with some talent at LB and CW55. The turnover has also caused some talented players to punch out early and inhibited buy-in.

It's pretty obvious we don't have a lot of team speed. We're doing well at RB and at DB, but beyond that pickings are pretty slim.

Here's what I think is our biggest shortcoming: DL. Mack understood the importance of DL recruiting and in all his years we never had a problem with our front 4. Elite talent there covers up a lot of blemishes in the college game. But the last good Mack D lineman left after Charlie's first year and we haven't had an elite D line since.

Herman needs to start there. You can't hope for an elite program in college without an elite defensive front.

Edited September 2, 2018 by Disco Missile
When I say unbalanced I mean an uneven roster. Machinator has covered this well in other threads.

[Sgt Hulk 13637]

In the second qtr down 24-7. We went hurry up. Ran the ball well quick passes moves down the field like butter they had no answer players where wide open it was simple. WHY IN GODS fuck did we stop doing that? Because it worked? Because it aligned to our strengths? Because it gave us a chance to win?  This staff is dumber than Zack smiths future wife. Just fucking retarded lazy ass dipshits. Let’s gather up all the shit that worked and burn it.  Fuck this staff 

[cabowabo 4449]

I'm sure it's been discussed ad naseum in this thread already, but going for 2 there right before the half really makes me question this guy's football IQ. Idiotic decision. 

[NowThis 931]

2 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

I'm sure it's been discussed ad naseum in this thread already, but going for 2 there right before the half really makes me question this guy's football IQ. Idiotic decision. 

yes, it's dumb to go for 2 at that point. 

[South Austin 52037]

1 hour ago, bschoolprof said:

Just because hiring Herman was a poor choice either at the time (so said some) or now after 20 months (so say many) doesn't mean poorer choices could not have been made.  Hiring a guy with no collegiate HC experience, who has gone on to other illustrious jobs like the Arkansas TE coach, would have been one of those poorer choices.  That this even needs to be explained to you is alternately highly troubling or amusing, take your pick.  

Yes. Among all of the post-Maryland trauma, the notion that we should’ve hired Jeff Fucking Traylor as the head coach of the University of Texas is the dumbest thing I’ve read today.

[ClubWhatever 12085]

11 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

In the second qtr down 24-7. We went hurry up. Ran the ball well quick passes moves down the field like butter they had no answer players where wide open it was simple. WHY IN GODS fuck did we stop doing that? Because it worked? Because it aligned to our strengths? Because it gave us a chance to win?  This staff is dumber than Zack smiths future wife. Just fucking retarded lazy ass dipshits. Let’s gather up all the shit that worked and burn it.  Fuck this staff 

You’ve obviously never been a coach 

[Sejjr 3246]

I’d like to know if Herman is one of those idiotic petulant Head Coaches that “punish” a RB for fumbling, yet fail to ever hold a QB to that same standard. Tre Watson was running pretty well, FAR better than Porter, yet after his “fumble” we never saw him again. Instead, we feature Porter on two of the most important and shitty plays of the entire day to extremely predictable results. If Herman is one of those turnover punisher type coaches, then he has no choice but to bench Sam and start Shane and get Rising some real touches as well. And frankly, it’s the only hope the offense has of doing anything this season. 

[Slade 263]

12 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

In the second qtr down 24-7. We went hurry up. Ran the ball well quick passes moves down the field like butter they had no answer players where wide open it was simple. WHY IN GODS fuck did we stop doing that? Because it worked? Because it aligned to our strengths? Because it gave us a chance to win?  This staff is dumber than Zack smiths future wife. Just fucking retarded lazy ass dipshits. Let’s gather up all the shit that worked and burn it.  Fuck this staff 

That's the most infuriating thing about yesterday's game. Why go away from what's working and got you back in the game? Why bench your freshman RB after he looked explosive and was averaging 6 yards a carry? Did Ingram even get a carry in the second half? 

[South Austin 52037]

1 minute ago, Slade said:

Did Ingram even get a carry in the second half? 

He did not, and that is un-fucking-acceptable.

[Sejjr 3246]

Coaching not to lose gets you beat every time. Mack Brown 101, nearly every game against OU. Protect the “kids” and rely on upperclass lesser talented players because you “trust” them. 

[alphahorn 1637]

After he gives his next smug response at a press conference, someone needs to stand up and look that asshole in the eye and ask that cocksucker, "do you really think your record at Texas warrants your arrogant, condescending nature?"

[Whatever 700]

yes, it's dumb to go for 2 at that point. 

Yep

[Continental Op 3934]

So I take it Tom Herman is not a Fine Man. 

[CurlyDumps 4439]

Quick poll: how many power 5 schools started their first offensive play of the season with a delay of game and an equipment malfunction?  

This offensive coaching staff is flat out fucking incompetent, down to the fucking equipment manager.  Just a total parade of douchebags, sycophants, and yes men.

[Sejjr 3246]

I also despise the arrogant “hot hand” comment. If you are really riding the hot hand, then why bench the only RB who has averaged over 6 ypc since Foreman was here?

[VaHorn 105]

1 hour ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

Mack brought in some good coaches (on defense). Offensively, he recruited well early on. Then he got lazy. Passed up several Heisman winners, as I recall.

Charlie hired Watson. Tom hired Beck. Unbelievably shitty shitty choices.

That's it. Herman needs to take over play calling tomorrow.

Mack hired Davis, Charlie hired Watson. Tom hired Beck. Unbelievably shitty shitty choices.  

We always hate the OC. 

[NowThis 931]

hire the Hawaii OC. Their offense is freakshow, in a good way. 

[South Austin 52037]

12 minutes ago, alphahorn said:

After he gives his next smug response at a press conference, someone needs to stand up and look that asshole in the eye and ask that cocksucker, "do you really think your record at Texas warrants your arrogant, condescending nature?"

Well, he doesn't need to squint anymore.

[Tailgate 3014]

Don't be so surprised by the latest Texas loss to Maryland

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaaf/big12/2018/09/01/texas-losing-maryland-second-time-should-surprise/1176731002/

Another year, another season-opening loss to Maryland. Don’t look so surprised.

This one is worse for Tom Herman and Texas, however, since last year’s dud in the opener could be attributed in part to the Longhorns’ offseason coaching change. There are no such excuses for Saturday’s loss to a Maryland team fresh off a horrid offseason playing without its head coach.

Earlier this spring, the Terrapins were rocked by the on-field death of offensive lineman Jordan McNair, who died while participating in drills conducted by the program’s strength and conditioning staff.

Last month, a bombshell report linked Maryland’s coaching staff to a toxic culture of fear and intimidation. In the wake of that report, the university fired several staff members and placed head coach DJ Durkin on leave. Durkin’s future remains in doubt.

So that’s the backdrop to Saturday’s victory. Only in comparison did Texas resemble a well-oiled machine. Looks can be deceiving.

With interim coach Matt Canada at the controls, the Terrapins took a 24-7 lead in the second quarter before Texas cut the lead to 24-22 heading into halftime. After a long weather delay, Maryland clinched a 34-29 win after intercepting Texas quarterback Sam Ehlinger with less than two minutes left.

The Longhorns were outgained by Maryland, if just by a hair. They committed three turnovers to Maryland’s none. Texas accounted for more than 100 penalty yards. In total, the Texas offense converted just three times on third down.

“We know how much better we are now than we were probably at any point last year,” Herman said postgame. “We didn't show it in the 1st quarter and the 4th quarter.”

Texas is back, in a way, since the Texas of this decade is the sort of program that loses to Maryland. Whether Herman, Charlie Strong or the latter years of the Mack Brown era, the Longhorns are defined by massive expectations and underwhelming results.

Of Maryland’s five wins against Football Bowl Subdivision opponents since Oct. 26, 2016, two have come against the Longhorns. Remember when Kansas beat Texas in 2016? That happened. Google it.

Why was this year supposed to be different? That the Longhorns found a home in the preseason Amway Coaches Poll was ridiculous. Texas hadn’t earned that right. List the teams more deserving of a spot in the Top 25 – Northwestern, South Carolina, Oregon, so on. Texas isn’t even the best team in Texas.

A more reasoned set of expectations asked for something simple: improvement. Better performances against the weak part of its schedule. Turning at least one of last year’s narrow losses, such as single-possession defeats against Southern California, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State, into narrow wins.

The expectations in place heading into the opener were unfair, but such is life at Texas. It was always inevitable that at some point, the Longhorns would reveal their true colors. If it comes at all, a push into New Year’s Six bowl consideration won’t happen until 2019 at the earliest.

The point is that this is disappointing, but it shouldn’t be surprising. Losing to Maryland last year wasn’t embarrassing. It was just Texas. It was the same story on Saturday.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3806]

Guys, after the scrip club news, it's obvious Mensa likes big boobs. So he surrounded himself with two of the biggest boobs ever. Beck and Ehlinger.