Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

It's baffling that Progressive does anything besides the "turning into your parents" ad campaign. 

And I despise DJ Khalid and his entire schtick. The whole "slow-moving and dimwitted sage for abject morons" act was tired a decade ago. 

[ChickenSandwich 9,836]

Defense wins championships

"Well, it does"

[clapclapclap 9,000]

Why are State Farm commercials so atrocious?  (Besides being played 30 times a game.)  That Chris Paul impersonator has gone from stupid to creepy when you include the kid.  Sheesh.

On the flip side, thumbs up to T-Mobile using Joan Jett for background music.  The original:

Never knew she was into weightlifting.

[Beau Vine 54,226]

Scott Elder needs to die a slow, agonizing death for his pickle commercial.  

Even my wife said, "Does this guy not have a family to tell him that this is embarrassing?"

If you're not in the Austin area, consider yourself lucky:

 

[NorthLoop 14,203]

I honestly believe Scott Elder has some sort of mental handicap. Which begs the question, why would you buy a car from him? I guess if you "bring home 400 a week" and wanna drive a 25k car, you're probably on the same level as him.

[AUS-97HORN 11,761]

I am starting to wonder how the hell anyone went to school before this year.

 

Im seeing the Connections Academy ads ALL THE TIME, 2-3X per hour on all the discovery channels.   Like... htf is this a "free" online school if you are spending $100k on advertising a week?

[Deej 76,789]

3 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Scott Elder needs to die a slow, agonizing death for his pickle commercial.  

Even my wife said, "Does this guy not have a family to tell him that this is embarrassing?"

If you're not in the Austin area, consider yourself lucky:

 

Where else can you finance a new car for 96 months?

[HornOnTheBayou 8,922]

Just when you think 2020 can't get any worse, Subway brings back their $5 foot-long jingle. Fuck everyone that has ever been involved in that atrocity. 

[Dennis Taylor 18,821]

Kid-"Mom!"

Mom- "Yeah" (creepily nuzzling her cat)

Kid- " I fell!"

Mom-" there's band-aids in the cabinet "

Kid-" I'm bleeding!"

Mom-" Grab two"

 

Imagine being an advertising executive and reading that and saying " Thats it!we nailed it" 

[Beau Vine 54,226]

11 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Just when you think 2020 can't get any worse, Subway brings back their $5 foot-long jingle. Fuck everyone that has ever been involved in that atrocity. 

Especially the guy with half an eyebrow.

[Brothahorn 10,087]

 

So now along with mesothelioma and vaginal mesh cases, you can get a sex abuse lawyer.

[Guest]

On 8/11/2020 at 10:00 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

Just when you think 2020 can't get any worse, Subway brings back their $5 foot-long jingle. Fuck everyone that has ever been involved in that atrocity. 

he went to Jared.  twice.

[Moby Ric 2,058]

Probably in here somewhere but the "step up to prep up" fucking commercials make me want to to throw stuff at the tv.

[RPM 26,320]

10 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Probably in here somewhere but the "step up to prep up" fucking commercials make me want to to throw stuff at the tv.

The only drug commercial I hate more is the one with the black female HS marching band director. Whatever it is that shit cures, I hope she dies from it.

[Lhorn 4,913]

Something about her exaggerated, robotic marching movement annoys the hell out of me.

[royiv 9,316]

On 8/11/2020 at 7:26 PM, NorthLoop said:

I honestly believe Scott Elder has some sort of mental handicap. Which begs the question, why would you buy a car from him? I guess if you "bring home 400 a week" and wanna drive a 25k car, you're probably on the same level as him.

I don't understand how he has such a large advertising budget. Does anyone actually buy Mitsubishis? I'm not seeing them all over the road.

[Gatorubet 30,238]

 
So now along with mesothelioma and vaginal mesh cases, you can get a sex abuse lawyer.

Wait - TX Tow is a lawyer now?

[DougO 5,247]

They play a longer version of this like every third damn commercial on some of the poors antenna channels showing old westerns and animal shows and shit. Glad this goofy clogged up cartoon bitch finally dropped a duce, but I don't really want to bask in the graphic detail of her triumpant shit, all struttin' like a runway model after her colon blow.

 

 

 

[Knoxtnhorn 5,976]

Yesterday, I had these two back to back during a commercial break. 

The aforementioned, $5 footlong...

And this beating...

 

[RamjetFDO 10,575]

Probably in here somewhere but the "step up to prep up" fucking commercials make me want to to throw stuff at the tv.

The line that always cracks me up is... "Not for use in people assigned female at birth."

You mean "women", right? Let's not complicate this.

[Deej 76,789]

41 minutes ago, RamjetFDO said:

The line that always cracks me up is... "Not for use in people assigned female at birth."

You mean "women", right? Let's not complicate this.

You insensitive, un-woke SOB!

[RamjetFDO 10,575]

You insensitive, un-woke SOB!

Guilty.

[Beau Vine 54,226]

Yesterday, I had these two back to back during a commercial break. 

The aforementioned, $5 footlong...

[/url] And this beating...

 

If you're watching hockey, you'll get those back to back 3 times an hour. Am I supposed to know who Edina Manzell is?

[Lhorn 4,913]

I only know her as the singer of the song “Let It Go” from the Disney movie Frozen. Correct me if I’m wrong.

 

Of course we can all agree that there is only one REAL “Let It Go” from the 1981 multi platinum Def Leppard album High ‘N’ Dry.

[bluto 4,928]

The Buick commercial where the working mom(?) picks up a to go order of salmon but it ends up being kids coming for dinner. EVERYTHING about that commercial pisses me off

[Deamerxt 51]

For some reason that step up prep shit makes me rage so much more than all the others. The mute button isn't even enough for this one. I have to change the channel and god forbid it pops up there as well. You mf'ers want safe sex? Go fuck (wait for it..) yourself!

I hope they all catch covid in their asshole.

Someone else mentioned skyrizi which is (according to that stupid jingle) presumably for dyslexic nihilists?

They can catch that shit too.

[Deamerxt 51]

Incidentally, all y'alls dissection of "Jake from state farm at 3AM" was terrific.

Anybody know what's up with him and the food delivery girl?

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

10 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

If you're watching hockey, you'll get those back to back 3 times an hour. Am I supposed to know who Edina Manzell is?

Welcome to Surly, Mr. Travolta. 

[jeevsie 3,734]

On 8/12/2020 at 11:21 PM, Brothahorn said:

 

So now along with mesothelioma and vaginal mesh cases, you can get a sex abuse lawyer.

I gotta say, that's a good ad concept.  The reaction will be, "Yes, the guy who did it looks just like him!"

[AUS-97HORN 11,761]

I think Ive posted Mahk before on here with his roasting of the bullshit Chevy "real people not actors" ads

 

But his group may be finding threads like ours and starting to make fun of the idiotic commercials being broadcast now.

 

 

[mr. sunshine 2,827]

Hisamitsu, a Japanese pharmaceutical company, cranking out Salonpas pain relieving patches since 1934. More than enough time to distribute them to all the fighter and bomber crews that attacked Pearl Harbor in soothing comfort.

Actually on second thought that seems like a terrible ad campaign 

[shadow_operative 15,932]

Expired. Expired. Expired.

 

Also, are those really stereotypes of aunts? that they go through your fridge and tell you not to slouch? geico is just the Mariano Rivera of bad commercials. 

[Al Czervik 1,229]

Corona, Snoop Dogg.  Fucking enough already. 

[Al Czervik 1,229]

On 8/17/2020 at 8:33 AM, Deamerxt said:

Incidentally, all y'alls dissection of "Jake from state farm at 3AM" was terrific.

Anybody know what's up with him and the food delivery girl?

Those 2 dudes have on it. 

[Red Five 40,858]

Safe drivers save 40%.

[Trey3216 15,346]

How about this new progressive radio spot where nothing is pronounced correctly and in Valley Girl voice.   My God.  I want to drive into a highway bridge support every time I hear it 

[Dennis Taylor 18,821]

14 hours ago, Red Five said:

Safe drivers save 40%.

If I ever met him I'd definitely go with 'Hey-zeus, I like him very much '

[deadshank 24,653]

On 8/26/2020 at 9:06 PM, shadow_operative said:

Expired. Expired. Expired.

 

Also, are those really stereotypes of aunts? that they go through your fridge and tell you not to slouch? geico is just the Mariano Rivera of bad commercials. 

She sounds like me looking into our fridge at the beginning of deer season.  All the condiments are at least 3 years old.   Of course, that means nothing but a dare to some of my fellow deer hunters.  

[Beau Vine 54,226]

Expired. Expired. Expired.
 
Also, are those really stereotypes of aunts? that they go through your fridge and tell you not to slouch? geico is just the Mariano Rivera of bad commercials. 

I dont hate that one. And the one with the life coach teaching people how not to turn into their parents is hilarious.

[RPM 26,320]

Fuck you 2020! Have you no low?

 

[HornOnTheBayou 8,922]

I haven't seen that commercial, but based on the title and screen shot, I'll just go ahead and not watch it and say

[PittsburghTiger 6,185]

Chris Berman making any commercial should be forbidden.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

Chris Berman should be forbidden. 

[RPM 26,320]

Fuck Jeff Fisher

[Sandman 3,403]

We lost internet during a storm the other night, so the Roku was out of commission. I turned on one of the weird antenna channels and every other ad was for a law firm that wanted to hear from people that were raped while in the boy scouts. I didn't know they had Vatican-level problems in the scouts.

[Llano Estacado 1,257]

We lost internet during a storm the other night, so the Roku was out of commission. I turned on one of the weird antenna channels and every other ad was for a law firm that wanted to hear from people that were raped while in the boy scouts. I didn't know they had Vatican-level problems in the scouts.

Heard a radio ad for that listed at least a dozen possible abuses. Thanks radio attorney guy I wasn’t aware strangers being naked or showing my kids porn (adult or child) was abuse. Appreciate the parenting tip!

[Dennis Taylor 18,821]

58 minutes ago, Sandman said:

We lost internet during a storm the other night, so the Roku was out of commission. I turned on one of the weird antenna channels and every other ad was for a law firm that wanted to hear from people that were raped while in the boy scouts. I didn't know they had Vatican-level problems in the scouts.

there's an infomercial on Uverse for this 

[AUS-97HORN 11,761]

I really dont understand the tik tok commercials.    I mean, I understand the commercial itself, but I am so confused why they would be spending money to advertise in the US...  not getting political, but there is a real solid chance they are going to be banned from operating in the US due to political concerns. 

plus  despite the political shit... the god damned commercial with its horrible song actually fucking suck.

[Llano Estacado 1,257]

I really dont understand the tik tok commercials.    I mean, I understand the commercial itself, but I am so confused why they would be spending money to advertise in the US... 

Same as FB, Insta, and Twitters. “If there is no product, you’re the product” more daily users is never a bad thing for them. If they sell or are forced to sell every additional user counts for something in the valuation.

[RamjetFDO 10,575]

Okay, the Bill Belichick commercial for Subway gave me a chuckle, once. I think it's not going to do as well in the rotation.