Jump to content

Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
in Movies and TV

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 4.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Dennis Taylor
Dennis Taylor

So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

Posted Images

shadow_operative

shadow_operative 15932

Posted
Posted

also, for the factual record: i was right that she was chinese, i was right that she was born in china, i was right that she was born in the 1930's, i was right that her birth name was not Emily, and frankly, i was right to be skeptical about that being the name of an 80-something year old chinese woman, as it is quite the anomaly. pretty harmless stuff.

further, i was joking when i said that i was "appalled", and that we clearly had a bunch of racist MFs in this thread, and that ramjet is a hate monger. obviously. everything i've posted here has ranged from light hearted-benignly wrong. i literally thought that ramjet was quoting a movie or a tv show when he told me to "choose my words carefully and apologize to him." swear to god i googled it to see if i could find the reference. i was totally clueless to the fact that he was actually seething mad, and about to repeatedly call me a worthless piece of shit over my last handful of posts. 

bottom line- i didn't do anything here to warrant some of these insanely bombastic and personal responses, and i won't take responsibility for anyone who truly got upset and then lashed out over my posts. at some point, those of you who get yourselves all riled up about everything i say need to step back and ask yourself- "is this post truly worth losing my mind over, or am i just overreacting/totally misreading this situation because it's derka who made the post?" 95% of the time that a thread gets "derka'd" these days it's not because of anything that i actually said or did- it's this shit from today. insane, bombastic responses to totally benign posts, all because i'm the one who made the post. you would never react that way towards another poster who said what i did. seriously- think about it, please and thank you.

now then, i'm not talking about this retarded racism thread derail any more. let's get back to the thread subject, and move in from the insane derka witch hunt. good lord this has been stupid and unnecessary.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lhorn

Lhorn 4913

Posted
Posted

Actually I had the volume down so I didn't hear the dialog but it was a bunch of giant asses in far too tight jeans dancing around pretending to look sexy. 
 

I assume the name of this line of clothes/ campaign is to push the fairly tale that there’s no such thing as body habitual that is less appealing than another.  Riiiggghhhttttt…..

Link to comment
Share on other sites
AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11758

Posted
Posted (edited)

All the bullshit self-congratulation Chik-fil-A commercials.

every. single. one. 

 

a lady has enough points to feed an entire homeless shelter using her point???  Get the fuck out of here.

 

and those fucks are absolutely clueless that the 2 homely chicks from Wisconsin where one gives the other a fucking car are clearly a couple

 

but then again, they are too wholesome a brand to recognize that 2 of their stars are scissoring with each other. 

Edited by AUS-97HORN
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5974

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, Zeus said:

Bruh it's an entire series I guess but they got Queen Latifa whooping ass doing karate and beating up a bunch of Russian drug dealers and shit?

Fucking hilarious

I thought about this one the other day.  Last week, they had an ad where some 6'6", 260 lb black dude was in her face asking her who she was.  She then proceeds to kick his ass.  C'mon.  I get fiction, equality and all, but at least try to make it believable.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
YChang

YChang 3443

Posted
Posted
On 9/26/2021 at 1:08 PM, shadow_operative said:

and again, her name is Emily. how many 90 year old born-and-raised-in-the-far-east women are there named Emily? zero, probably?

It’s a stupid commercial but not really a stretch. It’s not uncommon for some to pick English names that they like. Also, does the commercial ever establish she wasn’t born here?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
shadow_operative

shadow_operative 15932

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, YChang said:

It’s a stupid commercial but not really a stretch. It’s not uncommon for some to pick English names that they like. Also, does the commercial ever establish she wasn’t born here?

the commercial is actually based on a real woman who was born in China. her mother nicknamed her Emily after Emily Dickinson. Emily actually did move to Seattle the same year the WNBA/Seattle Storm was founded, and she is indeed a super fan. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eskimohorn

Eskimohorn 5635

Posted
Posted
the commercial is actually based on a real woman who was born in China. her mother nicknamed her Emily after Emily Dickinson. Emily actually did move to Seattle the same year the WNBA/Seattle Storm was founded, and she is indeed a super fan. 

Dude, I made that shit up to demonstrate that an old Chinese lady could be named Emily.
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HenryJames

HenryJames 66045

Posted
Posted
On 10/2/2021 at 5:04 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Safelite guy who marvels at his windshield chip repair in progress as though it's a newly discovered species or something. 

20211002_170530.jpg

Every fucking asshole in these commercials never notices the fucking chip until they’re outside the car an hour later and shit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Deej

Deej 76761

Posted
Posted
On 10/2/2021 at 5:04 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Safelite guy who marvels at his windshield chip repair in progress as though it's a newly discovered species or something. 

20211002_170530.jpg

He's thinking, "I wonder what this would feel like on my junk?"

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29189

Posted
Posted

i'm sure this has been covered dozens of times but i don't keep up with this thread enough to confirm it.

jake from fucking state farm.  we've all seen the original.  it was awesome, it was hilarious, and now it's gone.  it was a fat, pasty white dude working slave labor hours in his cubicle at 3am at an insurance agency.  fine, whatever.  "khaki's", "he's a guy, so..."  i love it.

they obviously caught lightning in a bottle, didn't realize what they had.  so they redo the ending with a different jake, a male-model looking light-skinned black guy.  fine.  they also stepped on the funny part of the commercial, and sub in a "do they ever ask you what you're wearing?"  so yeah, they clearly didn't realize what made the first spot funny (the back and forth with the wife), and butchered it.  they're morons.

so now the new jake is the face of these commercials.  this is where i have a problem.  is there some significance to the name jake?  are they not able to just introduce a new character, like pete from state farm, or brett from state farm?  the actor is fine i guess.  not sure what was wrong with the original jake, except the casting was probably a little too on-the-nose.

and now every time i see the new ones (which are now the only ones), all i can think of is the poor writer of the original commercial who probably never got the credit, has since moved on, and the original jake, who's become basically the eric stoltz in this scenario.  it also doesn't help that these commercials are on every 9 seconds.

/rant

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
  • Rage+1 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29189

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

I remember reading an article that original Jake, A) is  really Jake and B) was a real State Farm insurance sales guy working at their Indy (?) call center. 

He and about 100 other sales agents tried out and he was picked.   

so i (1) was right about it being too on-the-nose and (2) now feel even fucking sadder for him. 

this is like joe mantegna finding out pacino was playing ricky roma in the movie.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2810

Posted
Posted

You know what I've never even bothered to contemplate the evolution of Jake until I read your post but now that I have I'm going to become seriously irritated every time I see a JFSF ad come on. Because you're spot fucking on. Previously I only found them mildly irritating. So while a good observation, kind of low-key fuck you for that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29189

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, Baboontyme said:

You know what I've never even bothered to contemplate the evolution of Jake until I read your post but now that I have I'm going to become seriously irritated every time I see a JFSF ad come on. Because you're spot fucking on. Previously I only found them mildly irritating. So while a good observation, kind of low-key fuck you for that.

You Are Welcome Rachel Brosnahan GIF by The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eskimohorn

Eskimohorn 5635

Posted
Posted
i'm sure this has been covered dozens of times but i don't keep up with this thread enough to confirm it.
jake from fucking state farm.  we've all seen the original.  it was awesome, it was hilarious, and now it's gone.  it was a fat, pasty white dude working slave labor hours in his cubicle at 3am at an insurance agency.  fine, whatever.  "khaki's", "he's a guy, so..."  i love it.
they obviously caught lightning in a bottle, didn't realize what they had.  so they redo the ending with a different jake, a male-model looking light-skinned black guy.  fine.  they also stepped on the funny part of the commercial, and sub in a "do they ever ask you what you're wearing?"  so yeah, they clearly didn't realize what made the first spot funny (the back and forth with the wife), and butchered it.  they're morons.
so now the new jake is the face of these commercials.  this is where i have a problem.  is there some significance to the name jake?  are they not able to just introduce a new character, like pete from state farm, or brett from state farm?  the actor is fine i guess.  not sure what was wrong with the original jake, except the casting was probably a little too on-the-nose.
and now every time i see the new ones (which are now the only ones), all i can think of is the poor writer of the original commercial who probably never got the credit, has since moved on, and the original jake, who's become basically the eric stoltz in this scenario.  it also doesn't help that these commercials are on every 9 seconds.
/rant

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21152

Posted
Posted

These fucking dominoes commercials.  I feel like those should be in a time capsule.  Aliens will be like ‘holy shit, they had to know the end was near’

I don’t wanna be an asshole but they seem to pick mildly retarded people to mimic their actual customers.

The ‘real life ones’ where they surprise people with shit like breadsticks thrown in along with their regular order.  I’d be pissed.  ‘Wtf is this?  I didn’t order this shit’

Of course, I’d really just be mad at myself for ordering god damn dominoes

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29189

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, ChiTownDoc said:

These fucking dominoes commercials.  I feel like those should be in a time capsule.  Aliens will be like ‘holy shit, they had to know the end was near’

I don’t wanna be an asshole but they seem to pick mildly retarded people to mimic their actual customers.

The ‘real life ones’ where they surprise people with shit like breadsticks thrown in along with their regular order.  I’d be pissed.  ‘Wtf is this?  I didn’t order this shit’

Of course, I’d really just be mad at myself for ordering god damn dominoes

yeah, 2021 seems like weird timing to bring unsolicited food to somebody’s residence. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
mr. sunshine

mr. sunshine 2824

Posted
Posted
On 10/6/2021 at 8:50 AM, NorthLoop said:

Sidenote to the Jake from SF ads - Pat Mahomes is a really bad actor, and it's like nails on a chalkboard every time I see him in one of those commercials. 

Not disagreeing but can you imagine trying to deliver a State Farm ad writer’s terrible lines? In comparison working for Ed Wood back in the day would been a piece of cake 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DougO

DougO 5245

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 10/5/2021 at 7:11 PM, henrygandorf said:

i'm sure this has been covered dozens of times but i don't keep up with this thread enough to confirm it.

jake from fucking state farm.  we've all seen the original.  it was awesome, it was hilarious, and now it's gone.  it was a fat, pasty white dude working slave labor hours in his cubicle at 3am at an insurance agency.  fine, whatever.  "khaki's", "he's a guy, so..."  i love it.

they obviously caught lightning in a bottle, didn't realize what they had.  so they redo the ending with a different jake, a male-model looking light-skinned black guy.  fine.  they also stepped on the funny part of the commercial, and sub in a "do they ever ask you what you're wearing?"  so yeah, they clearly didn't realize what made the first spot funny (the back and forth with the wife), and butchered it.  they're morons.

so now the new jake is the face of these commercials.  this is where i have a problem.  is there some significance to the name jake?  are they not able to just introduce a new character, like pete from state farm, or brett from state farm?  the actor is fine i guess.  not sure what was wrong with the original jake, except the casting was probably a little too on-the-nose.

and now every time i see the new ones (which are now the only ones), all i can think of is the poor writer of the original commercial who probably never got the credit, has since moved on, and the original jake, who's become basically the eric stoltz in this scenario.  it also doesn't help that these commercials are on every 9 seconds.

/rant

There was another State Farm guy in between, remember? Goofier looking black guy with a weird cartoon voice. I think his weird cartoon voice was too similar to Mahomes weird cartoon voice, so they had to switch to more of an actor guy.

aaron-rodgers-state-farm-agent-vs-agent-

Edited by DougO
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14195

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, DougO said:

There was another State Farm guy in between, remember? Goofier looking black guy with a weird cartoon voice. I think his weird cartoon voice was too similar to Mahomes weird cartoon voice, so they had to switch to more of an actor guy.

aaron-rodgers-state-farm-agent-vs-agent-

I believe that was another "real" SF employee, and his name wasn't Jake. 

But yes, those ads were terrible too. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...