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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
in Movies and TV

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Dennis Taylor
Dennis Taylor

So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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ztejas

ztejas 43538

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Posted
4 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

"Some people clean while they cook; not these folks" is one of the greatest lines in commercial history, and I use it every time my wife cooks.

 

And the way he says "I'll say" at the end of the first scene just kills me.  

I like this one too. 

"I still don't"

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On 10/10/2023 at 8:13 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

Ok Derek Jeter- explain this to me. You drove your car to the private airport to go back home but they couldn't fly due to weather. So you drove your car all night back home. That makes no fucking sense bro

Why is Jeter going Glory Days at the local muny softball league?

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21104

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On 10/10/2023 at 8:13 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

Ok Derek Jeter- explain this to me. You drove your car to the private airport to go back home but they couldn't fly due to weather. So you drove your car all night back home. That makes no fucking sense bro

You forgot the part where he encounters a sabertooth tiger or some shit randomly crossing the dark and desolate rural highway that is almost certainly not the most direct route for him to take. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 30022

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 10/10/2023 at 7:01 PM, Pam Cummings said:

I can't be the only person that wants to murder whoever the guy is in the "go chicken, go pimiento, go go" Chik-fil-a commercial?

I get murderous just hearing the cutesy banjo plunks leading into their cornball stories. I guess their regulars love that shit. 

I always felt like they used good chicken, but I never felt good after eating there. Oh, and

Death to Cheezits!

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3 hours ago, yoladu said:

I had high hopes for the pimento cheese chicken sandwich, but they fucked it up with this honey sweetness to it.

Gross. ate half and pitched the rest.

Maybe I had a really good one because the chicken was right out of the cooker and they loaded the hell out of it with jalapeños on bottom.  I’ve only had one, but it was pretty damned good for fast food. Loved the peppers instead of pickles and the sweet heat combo hit the spot. Might have been the only good one they made that day…lol.

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Underdog

Underdog 28773

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1 hour ago, slorch said:

Maybe I had a really good one because the chicken was right out of the cooker and they loaded the hell out of it with jalapeños on bottom.  I’ve only had one, but it was pretty damned good for fast food. Loved the peppers instead of pickles and the sweet heat combo hit the spot. Might have been the only good one they made that day…lol.

I'll be sure to grab one tomorrow. 

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ztejas

ztejas 43538

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The Progressive ads where they throw the flag on the play need to die in a fire. 

"Instead of being an adult and showing decorum, be a cunt and make a scene because you have an incessant need to be proven right!"

Come to think of it - they should sponsor Surly.

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11823

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13 minutes ago, ztejas said:

The Progressive ads where they throw the flag on the play need to die in a fire. 

"Instead of being an adult and showing decorum, be a cunt and make a scene because you have an incessant need to be proven right!"

Come to think of it - they should sponsor Surly.

unless I missed one, every single "winner"so far was either a woman, or a kid.  

 

which obviously proves the whole campaign was written by women. 

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ztejas

ztejas 43538

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Just now, AUS-97HORN said:

unless I missed one, every single "winner"so far was either a woman, or a kid.  

 

which obviously proves the whole campaign was written by women. 

Yeah a lot of them center around cars and women correcting men for shit that your typical wife would do. One of them is the husband being found guilty of leaving the fucking sunroof open.

Brady Bunch K GIF

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shadow_operative

shadow_operative 15932

Posted
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47 minutes ago, ztejas said:

The Progressive ads where they throw the flag on the play need to die in a fire. 

"Instead of being an adult and showing decorum, be a cunt and make a scene because you have an incessant need to be proven right!"

Come to think of it - they should sponsor Surly.

i like how the fat, dumb husband is always wrong and his smug wife gets to shame him at the end of each commercial.

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Da Fino

Da Fino 2784

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On 8/5/2023 at 7:43 PM, Deej said:

I'm always amazed that Sonic makes this commercial, then decides to dump it and go all in on the two morons in their car. 

 

This also reminds me that they had an entire chili campaign before the car guys that was really funny. There was a great one in an art museum, wish I could find it but a cursory glance yields nothing. 

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Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4085

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9 hours ago, Longhornstampede said:

Does anyone really believe that fatass with the awful haircut would be able to swing from that hanging light without ripping it out of the ceiling and crushing her niece she is babysitting? All just for a credit card

Ha !

I was thinking the same thing and I am surprised no one has made that happen on the Internet yet.

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2825

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Speaking of Lilly is it just me or does the new ATT ad on the airplane with Keegan Michael Key make zero sense. It makes sense to mock airlines for nickel and diming but her line about keeping your word and Keys reaction like it's the sickest burn of all time leave me wondering if I didn't hear the line right every time I see the damn commercial. She needs to go away. 

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4963

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On 10/14/2023 at 5:22 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

unless I missed one, every single "winner"so far was either a woman, or a kid.  

Commercial for Halloween candy.  Two little boys are standing on a porch in costumes and each get a candy bar (Twix or KitKat I think).  A little girl walks between them and gets BOTH candy bars to some “better luck next time boys” type comment, smiles snuggly at them and walks off like a boss as they stare at her stack jawed with envy.  Her costume was the candy bars themselves. 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54432

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It would be impossible for me to hate that iPhone commercial with Common any more than I currently do.

1.  "Look at that new iPhone...why don't I have one?"    Who the hell wrote that line?

2.  "Yeah, hair is for suckers," says the guy with more hair on his neck than most guys have on their heads.

Edited by Beau Vine
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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 6066

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On 10/14/2023 at 7:54 PM, shadow_operative said:

i like how the fat, dumb husband is always wrong and his smug wife gets to shame him at the end of each commercial.

Reminds me of the ad - can't recall the company - where the smartass wife says, "Do you have something for someone that always hits the potholes?".  If only men could drive as well as women.

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Hate

Hate 20146

Posted
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On 10/10/2023 at 2:59 PM, Beau Vine said:

"Some people clean while they cook; not these folks" is one of the greatest lines in commercial history, and I use it every time my wife cooks.

That makes the whole commercial worth it.  It's so subtle but perfect. 

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BamaATL

BamaATL 16593

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8 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Commercial for Halloween candy.  Two little boys are standing on a porch in costumes and each get a candy bar (Twix or KitKat I think).  A little girl walks between them and gets BOTH candy bars to some “better luck next time boys” type comment, smiles snuggly at them and walks off like a boss as they stare at her stack jawed with envy.  Her costume was the candy bars themselves. 

It's the daughter of the Jardiance woman.

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11823

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7 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

It would be impossible for me to hate that iPhone commercial with Common any more than I currently do.

1.  "Look at that new iPhone...why don't I have one?"    Who the hell wrote that line?

 

you forget that Common starred in the most assinine commercial ever put on TV

Monster Energy

starring Common where the ad shows him backstage getting ready to take the stage, and the ad execs brilliant line says

Before every moment..... theres a moment.  MONSTER ENERGY

 

what in the holy fuck does that even mean?

 

 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45742

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On 10/22/2023 at 6:37 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

Hey you fucking gargoyle in the Volkswagen 'Jitterbug ' commercial- you might be making your kid laugh while she's in the rear-facing seat, but when she's old enough to face forward you will terrify her with those hideous chompers. Get yourself invisalign or something 

That is the absolute least offensive thing about that commercial. 

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