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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
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Dennis Taylor
Dennis Taylor

So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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'stache

'stache 21743

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I guess the Peloton ad is the current social media trending topic for the "look at me crowd" to comment on. Its dumb like most commercials, but of course they are reading more into it than really is there. I just assumed she indicated at some point that she wanted one. Shading on the husband for reasons one imagines is peak social media nonsense. Also, do people not realize that exercising is about more than losing weight? She could have been 116 lbs and in need of serious aerobic exercise to improve her health. And feeling healthy, even if still thin, can be just as life changing as losing weight. I can be a jaded asshole too, but I hate when the social media nerds all find something to dogpile on and think it's clever. It's a joke I might make with my buddies if they show it during a football game. I don't need to be broadcasting my stupid little jokes to everyone hoping to start "trending."

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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

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2 hours ago, 'stache said:

I guess the Peloton ad is the current social media trending topic for the "look at me crowd" to comment on. Its dumb like most commercials, but of course they are reading more into it than really is there. I just assumed she indicated at some point that she wanted one. Shading on the husband for reasons one imagines is peak social media nonsense. Also, do people not realize that exercising is about more than losing weight? She could have been 116 lbs and in need of serious aerobic exercise to improve her health. And feeling healthy, even if still thin, can be just as life changing as losing weight. I can be a jaded asshole too, but I hate when the social media nerds all find something to dogpile on and think it's clever. It's a joke I might make with my buddies if they show it during a football game. I don't need to be broadcasting my stupid little jokes to everyone hoping to start "trending."

OK, PeloTom

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8658

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Any commercial where the husband is giving his wife a gift.  I'm not getting us two new vehicles for Christmas and, if I were, you wouldn't get the truck.  I'm not dressing up like Santa and giving you jewelry.  Every time one of those commercials comes on, I have to explain that none of those people are real.

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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4275

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7 hours ago, 'stache said:

I guess the Peloton ad is the current social media trending topic for the "look at me crowd" to comment on. Its dumb like most commercials, but of course they are reading more into it than really is there. I just assumed she indicated at some point that she wanted one. Shading on the husband for reasons one imagines is peak social media nonsense. Also, do people not realize that exercising is about more than losing weight? She could have been 116 lbs and in need of serious aerobic exercise to improve her health. And feeling healthy, even if still thin, can be just as life changing as losing weight. I can be a jaded asshole too, but I hate when the social media nerds all find something to dogpile on and think it's clever. It's a joke I might make with my buddies if they show it during a football game. I don't need to be broadcasting my stupid little jokes to everyone hoping to start "trending."

it's a bad commercial. an exceptionally bad one. one so bad that thousands and thousands of people can't help but to comment and make jokes about how bad and nonsensical it is. don't read too much into it. 

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'stache

'stache 21743

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6 minutes ago, Goo Punch said:

it's a bad commercial. an exceptionally bad one. one so bad that thousands and thousands of people can't help but to comment and make jokes about how bad and nonsensical it is. don't read too much into it. 

Yeah, it's a stupid commercial. But people are commenting that the wife is somehow being pressured by the husband to lose weight. I just don't get that at all. In general, I think it's absurd to pay $2500 for an exercise bike, but the other implications being thrown out there are just dumb and internets being internets.

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PittsburghTiger

PittsburghTiger 6136

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33 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Any commercial where the husband is giving his wife a gift.  I'm not getting us two new vehicles for Christmas and, if I were, you wouldn't get the truck.  I'm not dressing up like Santa and giving you jewelry.  Every time one of those commercials comes on, I have to explain that none of those people are real.

Don't forget the Hall of Fame commercial of the dude asking Simple Jack kid if he can marry the boy's mother.

 

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DaysOff

DaysOff 7821

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Yeah, it's a stupid commercial. But people are commenting that the wife is somehow being pressured by the husband to lose weight. I just don't get that at all. In general, I think it's absurd to pay $2500 for an exercise bike, but the other implications being thrown out there are just dumb and internets being internets.
The original unit was at a much lower cost, but rich woke white folks wouldn't sniff it at the low price thinking they were of cheap quality. Peloton took off once they raised the price to ridiculous.
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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4275

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every commercial this time of year goes balls to the wall trying to tug at your heartstrings, and it's so desperate and transparent that i don't know why SNL doesn't literally just do parodies of current commercials.

i saw an ad yesterday where (I believe) Elena Della Donne was tugging at my heartstrings for 30 seconds giving me the life story of her mentally and physically handicapped sister, and the entire time it's running i'm like, "is this a new e:60 or is this an ad for something? what are you trying to sell me?" literally 30 seconds of this life story stuff and then at the end there's just a Toyota logo followed by some newly minted slogan about helping people or making the world better together or something.

 

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PittsburghTiger

PittsburghTiger 6136

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On 12/3/2019 at 10:22 AM, 'stache said:

I guess the Peloton ad is the current social media trending topic for the "look at me crowd" to comment on. Its dumb like most commercials, but of course they are reading more into it than really is there. I just assumed she indicated at some point that she wanted one. Shading on the husband for reasons one imagines is peak social media nonsense. Also, do people not realize that exercising is about more than losing weight? She could have been 116 lbs and in need of serious aerobic exercise to improve her health. And feeling healthy, even if still thin, can be just as life changing as losing weight. I can be a jaded asshole too, but I hate when the social media nerds all find something to dogpile on and think it's clever. It's a joke I might make with my buddies if they show it during a football game. I don't need to be broadcasting my stupid little jokes to everyone hoping to start "trending."

It’s jumped the shark now. While on the treadmill at the gym this morning one of the network morning shows did a segment about “Peleton Dad Speaks”.  And his reaction to the “controversy “.

It is well past bordering on the absurd.

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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On 12/3/2019 at 9:22 AM, 'stache said:

I guess the Peloton ad is the current social media trending topic for the "look at me crowd" to comment on. Its dumb like most commercials, but of course they are reading more into it than really is there. I just assumed she indicated at some point that she wanted one. Shading on the husband for reasons one imagines is peak social media nonsense. Also, do people not realize that exercising is about more than losing weight? She could have been 116 lbs and in need of serious aerobic exercise to improve her health. And feeling healthy, even if still thin, can be just as life changing as losing weight. I can be a jaded asshole too, but I hate when the social media nerds all find something to dogpile on and think it's clever. It's a joke I might make with my buddies if they show it during a football game. I don't need to be broadcasting my stupid little jokes to everyone hoping to start "trending."

But Peloton chick is soooo fucking hot that I'll watch it every time it comes on.  

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'stache

'stache 21743

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1 hour ago, Underdog said:

She's more annoying than hot, imo.  Her breathlessly talking to her phone is nails on a chalkboard.  

Yep, social media whore, and probably an self-identified "influencer." Her "sincere" face is also weird, I can't imagine what her O face is like, since she'd probably be faking that too.

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Eastwood

Eastwood 4394

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So, are we ready to talk about how the mom in that Apple iPad commercial is a lazy, bitchy mother to her children? If the casting call for that role was "looking for suburban wife who checked out after the kids started forming their own likes and opinions and has been a bitch to the family in the hopes the husband ends it for her so he can be the bad guy," they're nailing that role in spades.

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4884

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Why a stupid, meaningless gesture. You know the kid is in favor of it. You aren’t actually asking for permission. What if he said “No,” he wants his real Dad to remarry his mom?

It’s so damn important that you want to stand hat in hand in front of a 7 year old and ask permission to marry his mom but you show up unshaven and dressed like a hobo.

Guy probably shows up for job interviews in a Corona tank top.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15325

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On 11/30/2019 at 6:10 PM, hundredTT said:

Any commercial with a ringtone, alarm, basically any home appliance sound can fuck off. So fucking annoying.

On another note, I cried like a little bitch to the new Ipad commercial with grandpa and dead grandma. Yes the kids seem like ungrateful brats whose parents just shut them up by putting an iPad in their face. But having recently lost a grandmother, I lost my shit. 

For me, it's the 15 commercials that have a doorbell going off.  My dog goes apeshit Every. Single. Damn. Time.  

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mdmost

mdmost 42775

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The damned kid who takes a picture of Santa from behind as he's getting his presents delivered and then proceeds to blackmail Santa into giving up his red Mercedes. So Santa is going to give this little fuck a 40K+ automobile because his ass looks big in a photo and he doesn't want it to get out? How about Santa just throw that kid in the fire or take his ass back to the North Pole to get shived by the elves. Blackmail Santa? How about he just kill your ass and hide the body? 

 

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DougO

DougO 5239

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They need to do a followup on the Peloton chick when she's selling it in a garage sale and nobody wants to haul it off, and her husband is bitching about what a big waste of money and space it was...you know, like in 99.9% of all life-changing exercise equipment purchases are in real life.

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4884

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3 hours ago, hundredTT said:

“Everybody, need somebody to love...”

 

Fuck you amazon. 

So much this.  I hate the fucking singing boxes, the lady who starting wailing like she's Diana Ross.  Calm down.  It's the jingle for an online retailer.  It's not art.  All the fucking people in the commercial.  Hate it.  

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2807

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Can we talk about the latest GMC commercial for a second? It's absurd. 

So this choad decides he's going to get his girl a dog for Christmas. Not just any dog, but a super cute, purebred Bernese Mountain dog puppy, barely 12 weeks old. Now this motherfucker is some kind of Cesar Milan sage or some shit, and he has this fucking barely 12 week old puppy trained to hide in the snow, off leash, and come bounding through the snow towards hot gf when choad whistles. Amazing. I couldn't train my dog to sit at 10 months but this fucker has this thing basically remote controlled as soon as he gets it home from the breeder, where he likely dropped $3k on it. 

Now, not to be lost in any of this, hot gf has somehow found out that her choad bf was going to surprise her with a puppy, and not only that he was going to surprise her with a puppy, but she has also discovered in advance his method of reveal. So this bitch decides you know what, fuck that motherfucker, I'm going to one up him. I'm going to buy him a Denali truck out of spite, and I'm going to hide it in the snow, and when he whistles for that stupid fucking dog he bought for me and meticulously trained, I'm going to whistle for the bull that's boning me to drive the truck out of the snow. Just to fucking one-up his ass. I'm barely going to acknowledge that fucking dog before I whistle. 

And then, wouldn't you know it, Mr. Cuck hugs the truck, despite all of the disrespect he's just been shown. That bull could have easily run over his dog and he probably still would have dropped to his knees and hugged the truck. 

BTW, I need the gf's name for research purposes. 

 

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Nivek

Nivek 16807

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Can we talk about the latest GMC commercial for a second? It's absurd. 
So this choad decides he's going to get his girl a dog for Christmas. Not just any dog, but a super cute, purebred Bernese Mountain dog puppy, barely 12 weeks old. Now this motherfucker is some kind of Cesar Milan sage or some shit, and he has this fucking barely 12 week old puppy trained to hide in the snow, off leash, and come bounding through the snow towards hot gf when choad whistles. Amazing. I couldn't train my dog to sit at 10 months but this fucker has this thing basically remote controlled as soon as he gets it home from the breeder, where he likely dropped $3k on it. 
Now, not to be lost in any of this, hot gf has somehow found out that her choad bf was going to surprise her with a puppy, and not only that he was going to surprise her with a puppy, but she has also discovered in advance his method of reveal. So this bitch decides you know what, fuck that motherfucker, I'm going to one up him. I'm going to buy him a Denali truck out of spite, and I'm going to hide it in the snow, and when he whistles for that stupid fucking dog he bought for me and meticulously trained, I'm going to whistle for the bull that's boning me to drive the truck out of the snow. Just to fucking one-up his ass. I'm barely going to acknowledge that fucking dog before I whistle. 
And then, wouldn't you know it, Mr. Cuck hugs the truck, despite all of the disrespect he's just been shown. That bull could have easily run over his dog and he probably still would have dropped to his knees and hugged the truck. 
BTW, I need the gf's name for research purposes. 
 

Your porn search history must be angry.
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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20969

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1 hour ago, Baboontyme said:

Can we talk about the latest GMC commercial for a second? It's absurd. 

So this choad decides he's going to get his girl a dog for Christmas. Not just any dog, but a super cute, purebred Bernese Mountain dog puppy, barely 12 weeks old. Now this motherfucker is some kind of Cesar Milan sage or some shit, and he has this fucking barely 12 week old puppy trained to hide in the snow, off leash, and come bounding through the snow towards hot gf when choad whistles. Amazing. I couldn't train my dog to sit at 10 months but this fucker has this thing basically remote controlled as soon as he gets it home from the breeder, where he likely dropped $3k on it. 

Now, not to be lost in any of this, hot gf has somehow found out that her choad bf was going to surprise her with a puppy, and not only that he was going to surprise her with a puppy, but she has also discovered in advance his method of reveal. So this bitch decides you know what, fuck that motherfucker, I'm going to one up him. I'm going to buy him a Denali truck out of spite, and I'm going to hide it in the snow, and when he whistles for that stupid fucking dog he bought for me and meticulously trained, I'm going to whistle for the bull that's boning me to drive the truck out of the snow. Just to fucking one-up his ass. I'm barely going to acknowledge that fucking dog before I whistle. 

And then, wouldn't you know it, Mr. Cuck hugs the truck, despite all of the disrespect he's just been shown. That bull could have easily run over his dog and he probably still would have dropped to his knees and hugged the truck. 

BTW, I need the gf's name for research purposes. 

 

Thanks for typing all of this so I didn't have to.

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