Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

[Baboontyme 2809]

They are not wings. They are hybrid chicken nuggets/tenders with sauce. Get that boneless shit tfo. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21056]

On 4/27/2022 at 10:28 PM, Baboontyme said:

Much like the kid, I like turtles. I really want them to persevere. I do. 

But come the fuck on Kia. Buy a Kia so you can comb the beach for trash and save the turtles by the moonlight. Amazing.  

And the voice-over says "movement that inspires" at the same time that a spastic little turtle is just flapping almost uselessly in place while obviously trying to reach the safety of the ocean. 

Not inspiring movement in my view. 

[Scary Stranger 1714]

I’m going to start burning down Jack in the Boxes if I hear pop it while it’s hot one more time.

[clapclapclap 9000]

Why do we need to see fatasses in their adult diapers?  We've all known how underwear works since age 3, there is no need for gratuitous virtue signaling inclusive gross outs.

On 4/30/2022 at 1:57 AM, RPM said:

I still do that dance and sing, "Lo lo lo lo, lo lo lo lo lo" every time I enter a Kroger.  In clashing Russian shirt, brown pants, and stolen ND leprechaun coat (no crocs, no bald).

And the Icky Shuffle at the cold cuts counter (no floor spike).  

Edited May 5, 2022 by clapclapclap

[RPM 26318]

45 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

And the Icky Shuffle at the cold cuts counter (no floor spike).  

That's like saying "Yippie ki yea" with out the motherfucker.

[Dennis Taylor 18811]

In case you were wondering what the little xfinity senorita (age 25 btw) looks like under those horrible clothes they have her wearing in those commercials...

 

Edited May 6, 2022 by Dennis Taylor

[Hate 20107]

[HenryJames 66038]

[Underdog 28585]

X,X,1

[Macanudo 12976]

On 5/5/2022 at 11:13 AM, RPM said:

That's like saying "Yippie ki yea" with out the motherfucker.

Yippee ki yea, Mr. Falcon.

[Baboontyme 2809]

I don't understand why it was necessary to have Steph Curry dress up like a mime. Is that some kind of inside joke that I'm missing or is it as baffling as it seems?

[WBT 20561]

He'll miss the big game...but not because of tetanus.

[Beau Vine 54209]

On 5/5/2022 at 7:27 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

In case you were wondering what the little xfinity senorita (age 25 btw) looks like under those horrible clothes they have her wearing in those commercials...

 

She was in that wildly annoying JitB commercial, so... wnb.

[WhatTheBuck 28775]

Once a huckster, always a huckster..

 

 

[RPM 26318]

A supplement is like a god, you don't have to prove it works.

[clapclapclap 9000]

No wonder Chris Paul is a scared nervous wreck in all those State Farm commercials.

[ztejas 43414]

BETTER OFFER BETTY

CASH OFFER CARL

 

Honestly I kind of like this ad. I've just been beaten over the head with it and feel like it deserved a mention. 

[mr. sunshine 2824]

Can’t tell if Gronk is really dumb or playing dumb but he’s doing it in Subway commercials now. How fun. Hahahahahaha

[RPM 26318]

1 hour ago, mr. sunshine said:

Can’t tell if Gronk is really dumb or playing dumb

[PittsburghTiger 6175]

The CB1 weight-gain commercial I have seen is awful, “I gained 56 pounds and now my ass is huge, and I am puuuummmmppppeeeeddd”.

[clapclapclap 9000]

The Gatorade Fit (*Fat) obese whale yoga ad.

[Capt. Squints 176]

The USPS commercial with Johnny Cash singing "I've been everywhere, man" over and fuckin over is wretched.

[Lhorn 4912]

23 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

The Gatorade Fit (*Fat) obese whale yoga ad.

I haven’t seen that one but took a guess before I looked up the ad … obese woman (probably black) in tight spandex work out clothes playing the part of an intense athlete….yup!  When will we as a society be inclusive enough to put the obese man on a pedestal?   

[DougO 5243]

4 hours ago, Capt. Squints said:

The USPS commercial with Johnny Cash singing "I've been everywhere, man" over and fuckin over is wretched.

The lyrics should be changed for accuracy "I leave your packages anywhere, man..."

[Scary Stranger 1714]

I haven’t seen that one but took a guess before I looked up the ad … obese woman (probably black) in tight spandex work out clothes playing the part of an intense athlete….yup!  When will we as a society be inclusive enough to put the obese man on a pedestal?   

Winner winner. They even try to make us believe that she is able to get one leg above waist level.

[Underdog 28585]

Well what do you know, Seji Alexander of Fisher Investments is a real person and not an actor’s portrayal... 

Looks better in the commercial but still wood. 

[Scary Stranger 1714]

Well what do you know, Seji Alexander of Fisher Investments is a real person and not an actor’s portrayal... 

Looks better in the commercial but still wood. 

Assumed they were real as the old lady who talks like she’s had a stroke probably wouldn’t be hired as an actor.

[Sbbruin 21830]

A twittermercial, but still pretty good.

 

[Underdog 28585]

This chick in Wayfair ad has great legs… 

like a feedbag. 

[ztejas 43414]

8 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

A twittermercial, but still pretty good.

 

Now you almost wonder if he was a plant. 

[shadow_operative 15932]

oh good, now we've got the world's first woke whiskey. thanks jim beam. 

[DougO 5243]

That long-running Harrelson's Own CBD bullshit, when that chick says "I'm like crushin' it all day..."

Oh yeah, sure you are. Just something really annoying about her.

Edited June 2, 2022 by DougO

[Scary Stranger 1714]

No, Gatorade, that giant fat chick is neither ‘fit’ nor healthy. The only thing on her inside is pizza and cupcakes.

[Scary Stranger 1714]

And I know we’ve already covered that one but they keep showing it and showing it and showing it and showing it.

[Underdog 28585]

“Is that a real song?”

still trying figure out the fuck they’re singing, my hearing sucks.  

[Texzilla58 4732]

No, Gatorade, that giant fat chick is neither ‘fit’ nor healthy. The only thing on her inside is pizza and cupcakes.

Her rehydration drink of choice: Sonic Route 44 double chocolate cream cheese shake.

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]

Decent name, weird Schtick.

[Underdog 28585]

Who remembers? 

 

[shadow_operative 15932]

can't stand this whataburger ad where this soy boy beta cuck sits there and helplessly watches his chick take his food and then eat it in front of him. 

[NorthLoop 14183]

So maybe I'm just a simple man, but the Rush Chevrolet radio ads with Bush and Clinton always get a chuckle out of me. 

[Texzilla58 4732]

Who remembers? 

 

I don’t. Who is she?

['stache 21800]

Frosted Flakes ad that is all over ESPN app during college baseball games. A bunch of active healthy kids who play soccer, starting their day slurping down a bowl of processed corn syrup. Have some fruit or whole grain cereal if you're serious about sports.

[Dennis Taylor 18811]

33 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Frosted Flakes ad that is all over ESPN app during college baseball games. A bunch of active healthy kids who play soccer, starting their day slurping down a bowl of processed corn syrup. Have some fruit or whole grain cereal if you're serious about sports.

Thanks Marv Marinovich

[ztejas 43414]

[Pam Cummings 9639]

On 6/3/2022 at 3:52 PM, Scary Stranger said:

No, Gatorade, that giant fat chick is neither ‘fit’ nor healthy. The only thing on her inside is pizza and cupcakes.

I got a laugh out of singing "one of these things is not like the other" when that one came on.

[Underdog 28585]

4 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:

I don’t. Who is she?

 

[AUS-97HORN 11757]

I am pretty sure @blacklab was one of the "answer" givers to that site like 15 years ago.  Or at least I thought i remember him bragging about getting paid well to answer stupid bar questions in that 2-3 year period where this service existed where we had phones, but not smart enough phones to just get the answer ourselves.

[davidg 4036]

On 6/6/2022 at 10:50 AM, 'stache said:

 Have some fruit or whole grain cereal if you're serious about sports.

Ahem 

[blacklab 11926]

52 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

I am pretty sure @blacklab was one of the "answer" givers to that site like 15 years ago.  Or at least I thought i remember him bragging about getting paid well to answer stupid bar questions in that 2-3 year period where this service existed where we had phones, but not smart enough phones to just get the answer ourselves.

Not me. 

[NorthLoop 14183]

blacklab would've just answered "tree fiddy" every time