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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
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Dennis Taylor
Dennis Taylor

So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 12,111

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can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?

a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?

my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 27,065

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I cannot stand this one. Toothpick wench spews out her breathy lies in one sing-song unpunctuated burst. You know she keeps her job because some incel slave stays late to cover for her. "How am I gonna pay my rents." Oh yeah you've got a chain of businesses that will go under if you, personally, have surgery to correct your breathy unpunctuated burst speaking. Shut up, you string bean vampiric tick.

 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 27,065

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14 hours ago, Underdog said:

Toothpick?  Are you a Vic sock?  Chick’s hot.  

 

1 hour ago, Eskimohorn said:


Breathy voice? Big, brown eyes? Lean, tight body? I’m like a meerkat every time that commercial comes on.

 

 

No Matter How Hot She Is, Some Other Guy Is Already Tired of Her Imaginary Talking Duck Friend.

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XYZ

XYZ 2,154

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On 11/23/2018 at 6:35 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I cannot stand this one. Toothpick wench spews out her breathy lies in one sing-song unpunctuated burst. You know she keeps her job because some incel slave stays late to cover for her. "How am I gonna pay my rents." Oh yeah you've got a chain of businesses that will go under if you, personally, have surgery to correct your breathy unpunctuated burst speaking. Shut up, you string bean vampiric tick.

Hilarious rant. I actually think she has a nice voice.

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elfenix

elfenix 34,856

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On 11/22/2018 at 10:11 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?

a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?

my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial

 it says put down the computer and get a dog.  

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Okie State

Okie State 3,916

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can someone please tell me what in the FUCK the new annimated apple commercial is trying to tell us?
a millenial studying has papers fly out of her dorm room, and she then hands the papers to everyone?
my god its fucking horribad.   I dont even know what  apple is even trying to say in the commercial
Not sure what it's trying to sell, but it seemed like the message was that she thought all of her work, I assume some kind of art, was shit...but other people loved it once they saw it. But yeah, don't know what that has to do with Apple products.
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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 107,155

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I would definitely show her my Toyotathon, if you know what I mean.* 
 
*If you didn't catch my double entendre, I was comparing my erect penis to Toyotathon. Sadly, neither of them will last long.

My erections last the entire length of Ford Truck Month.

By my reckoning, I’ve had a perpetual boner since November of 1998.
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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4,276

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man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Edited by Goo Punch
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Facemask

Facemask 103

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man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 
I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.
And fuck that little twat of a kid doing the "floss". I told my 7 yr old he's kicked out of my house if he does that shit of a so called dance in my presence again.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

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immortal13

immortal13 4,059

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2 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Wait until you've seen it a hundred times.

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PittsburghTiger

PittsburghTiger 6,511

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On 12/2/2018 at 9:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

I don't think you should hold back with what you think about that one.

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HenryJames

HenryJames 67,709

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On 12/2/2018 at 8:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

I was going to buy you a Christmas present, but now...

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Escapedgoat

Escapedgoat 90

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On 11/5/2018 at 11:48 AM, mycox said:

I didn't think Kay Jewelers could top their stupidity over the years, but they have done it.  Guy asks the stupid 7 year kid if he can marry his mother with a minute long speech.

Ha, I saw this. That pathetic looking beta male asking the kid's permission.

Yeah, give her the ring and marry her and you'll be sitting at home watching that kid while she cucks your ass with another guy. Dumb simp. I didn't think Jared's "he went to Jared" campaign could be outdone in douchiness. Stupid fucking jeweler ads.

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stupolvo

stupolvo 19

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On 12/2/2018 at 8:38 PM, Goo Punch said:

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw was not only offensive to me with how violently it shoved its PC-ness down my throat (pause), the fucking thing annoyed me into watching it. 

I'm watching the Sunday night game, and when it goes to commercial I start messing with my phone and ignoring the TV. That is until the sound of a young boy screaming, "HE'S GONNA DO IT!!" fifty fucking times causes me to turn my head up just in time to see a white girl, an inuit boy, a black kid, a popular kid, a jock and a basket case all come together via word of mouth so that they can all go witness Simon fucking Birch beat some video game by haphazardly slapping his hands against some sort of doodad. Oh and apparently all of these kids live on an island with no adults, and ole simon has a place of his own where these little delinquents can assemble like the A Team or some shit. Buncha fucking multiracial kids coming together to spread love and diversity with their adoration of some video game playing Tim Tim. Well fuck that. Fuck you, and fuck me, and fuck everybody. That is fucking bullshit.

Timmay!

https://youtu.be/sWMwBiBKUy4

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immortal13

immortal13 4,059

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On 12/4/2018 at 12:21 PM, Escapedgoat said:

Ha, I saw this. That pathetic looking beta male asking the kid's permission.

Yeah, give her the ring and marry her and you'll be sitting at home watching that kid while she cucks your ass with another guy. Dumb simp. I didn't think Jared's "he went to Jared" campaign could be outdone in douchiness. Stupid fucking jeweler ads.

And that fucking creepy looking kid never answers him. I hate that stupid ass commercial

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Bama Llama

Bama Llama 1,513

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Each and every commercial for an unpronounceable medication with a voiceover citing multiple horrendous side effects like spontaneous skin sloughing, chronic diarrhea and bleeding from the eyes.  No thanks, I'll take my chances with the disease in question.  Thank God for the DVR.

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14,631

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1 hour ago, Bama Llama said:

Each and every commercial for an unpronounceable medication with a voiceover citing multiple horrendous side effects like spontaneous skin sloughing, chronic diarrhea and bleeding from the eyes.  No thanks, I'll take my chances with the disease in question.  Thank God for the DVR.

and each one of em has some trendy little logo 

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