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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread


Prepuce of Doom

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cross-posting myself from the FIFA thread.   I saw this damn commercial during one of the halftimes and kinda got triggered.

 

 This Charles Schwab commercial is such absolute fucking horseshit.

 

if you father was so good and wanted to charge a fair price to install windows, and everyone else was charging "$400-500" each.... and your dad only charged $100.... hes the last motherfucker on the planet I would want teaching a Charles Schwab rep how to properly invest money.

 

if everyone else is charging FOUR TIMES your price, maybe you should raise your price to allow you to charge half the amount.... customer still very happy at paying 1/2 the fee, and you dont have to work DOUBLE to make the same fucking money

 

 

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2 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:


I’ve never seen a Mexican drink a Corona.

 

49 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

They only drink Bud Light and it and Corona suck ass.

I'm not sure why, but I always imagined the person in that hut as being an ex-pat anyways. Maybe that makes me racist. 

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3 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

cross-posting myself from the FIFA thread.   I saw this damn commercial during one of the halftimes and kinda got triggered.

 

 This Charles Schwab commercial is such absolute fucking horseshit.

 

if you father was so good and wanted to charge a fair price to install windows, and everyone else was charging "$400-500" each.... and your dad only charged $100.... hes the last motherfucker on the planet I would want teaching a Charles Schwab rep how to properly invest money.

 

if everyone else is charging FOUR TIMES your price, maybe you should raise your price to allow you to charge half the amount.... customer still very happy at paying 1/2 the fee, and you dont have to work DOUBLE to make the same fucking money

 

 

when they create ads like these, they're basically telling us that they see us as the audience from this scene from Community:

anyone who would be moved or impressed by that commercial is a water head fucking retard.

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On 11/29/2022 at 1:18 AM, RPM said:

Why is she still relevant? Her only claim to fame is Stifler's mom. That was 23 years ago.

She's good in Best in Show. 

4 hours ago, Texzilla58 said:


I’ve never seen a Mexican drink a Corona.

You must not see many Mexicans. 

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Fabletics.  Any ad that starts with some douchebag saying, "Guys, let's be honest.  Buying pants sucks.  It shouldn't be this difficult", just guarantees that I will never buy your product.  What the fuck is so difficult about buying pants?  Do you not know your waist size?  Can you not operate a measuring tape?  Are you so much of a pussy that trying to figure out how to buy pants gets you so frustrated you resort to buying stretchy pants?

 

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I'm not sure why, but I always imagined the person in that hut as being an ex-pat anyways. Maybe that makes me racist. 

It’s certainly a gringo. But that hut could be on Lake Texhoma, or Galveston, or the BVI.

I like most Mexican beers. But Corona is right out of a urinal trough. I figure it is mostly exported like we ship out expired baby formula and Buffalo Bills Super Bowl champ tshirts.
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Anyone have plans this weekend? I need some friends to come over and help me shred a bunch of newspaper so we can make a homemade snowglobe in my backyard greenhouse for my bratty six year old. I will have Coffee House playing in the background. 

Who’s going to clean that shit up?
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18 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

Anyone have plans this weekend? I need some friends to come over and help me shred a bunch of newspaper so we can make a homemade snowglobe in my backyard greenhouse for my bratty six year old. I will have Coffee House playing in the background. 

Man that commercial sucks.  I actually didn’t realize he was going for the snow globe thing. I thought he just wanted to provide her a “white Christmas” by showering her in filthy shredded up newsprint.  And the commercial didn’t explain what Amazon product keeps the shredded paper continually floating around I the air.  

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On 12/7/2022 at 10:33 AM, AUS-97HORN said:

cross-posting myself from the FIFA thread.   I saw this damn commercial during one of the halftimes and kinda got triggered.

 

 This Charles Schwab commercial is such absolute fucking horseshit.

 

if you father was so good and wanted to charge a fair price to install windows, and everyone else was charging "$400-500" each.... and your dad only charged $100.... hes the last motherfucker on the planet I would want teaching a Charles Schwab rep how to properly invest money.

 

if everyone else is charging FOUR TIMES your price, maybe you should raise your price to allow you to charge half the amount.... customer still very happy at paying 1/2 the fee, and you dont have to work DOUBLE to make the same fucking money

 

 

I also hate that dude's weirdly wide face and his stupid voice. 

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8 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Man that commercial sucks.  I actually didn’t realize he was going for the snow globe thing. I thought he just wanted to provide her a “white Christmas” by showering her in filthy shredded up newsprint.  And the commercial didn’t explain what Amazon product keeps the shredded paper continually floating around I the air.  

Oscillating fans from Amazon prime, no doi. 

There's something going on there with the mom not being present but I haven't paid close enough attention to it to try to figure out. I think they are sad because maybe the mom left because the dad deemed himself a creative genius but she just thought he was a weirdo..

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28 minutes ago, Longhornstampede said:

Abuelita looking over that jackhole's shoulder while he bumbles his way through preparing a feast in the coke commercial is super creepy as fuck

She's judgmental as hell about everything throughout the cooking process, and the meal looks like burnt ass, yet that's when she's finally content? It doesn't make any sense. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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On 12/7/2022 at 10:33 AM, AUS-97HORN said:

cross-posting myself from the FIFA thread.   I saw this damn commercial during one of the halftimes and kinda got triggered.

 

 This Charles Schwab commercial is such absolute fucking horseshit.

 

if you father was so good and wanted to charge a fair price to install windows, and everyone else was charging "$400-500" each.... and your dad only charged $100.... hes the last motherfucker on the planet I would want teaching a Charles Schwab rep how to properly invest money.

 

if everyone else is charging FOUR TIMES your price, maybe you should raise your price to allow you to charge half the amount.... customer still very happy at paying 1/2 the fee, and you dont have to work DOUBLE to make the same fucking money

 

 

His dad was making money selling the pills he stole from his customers medicine cabinets. 

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23 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

Oscillating fans from Amazon prime, no doi. 

There's something going on there with the mom not being present but I haven't paid close enough attention to it to try to figure out. I think they are sad because maybe the mom left because the dad deemed himself a creative genius but she just thought he was a weirdo..

Dead/absent family during the holidays was the theme this year. I don't know if it's because this was the first real "post covid" holiday season or what, but melancholy Christmas seems to be the angle a lot of advertisers went with and it was very strange for me.

Edited by ultimaton
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I’m sure it’s already on here, it it’s terrible enough to mention twice: the HEB choir commercial. It’s just awful all the way. Shitty singing with no enthusiasm, singing HORRIBLE lyrics. The lyrics are something I’d come up with if 1) I had 10 minutes to do so and 2) I didn’t give a single shit about the results.

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10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I’m sure it’s already on here, it it’s terrible enough to mention twice: the HEB choir commercial. It’s just awful all the way. Shitty singing with no enthusiasm, singing HORRIBLE lyrics. The lyrics are something I’d come up with if 1) I had 10 minutes to do so and 2) I didn’t give a single shit about the results.

lemme guess

Pescado's ex-wife's new HEB manager fuck buddy is one of the extras in the commercial. 

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