Colonoscopy

[Sbbruin 22139]

Have one scheduled in the am.  I am currently shitting myself blind.  And I’m starving.  That is all.

[DanRydell 799]

Had my fourth one in 8 years two weeks ago. The prep never sucks any less.

[Horn_Spanker 524]

Had my first in June.  Weird shitting green Gatorade.

 

Reading the report was cool, evidently they cram the hose up you first and then view the camera as they pull it out.  Report says only six minutes.

 

[Upgrayedd 5865]

You are taking this season too hard.  It’s one game.

[Sbbruin 22139]

Our season is represented by the contents of my toilet bowl.

[Dewey 3329]

Made my lawyer watch, cant trust doctors these days and I can trust lawyers either, so I handcuffed my lawyer to myself. They found the key durning the peak inside. Lol. You know about the ice cube trick?

[Sbbruin 22139]

I’m literally urinating out of my ass as I type this.

[Ag with kids 581]

26 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

Had my first in June.  Weird shitting green Gatorade.

 

Reading the report was cool, evidently they cram the hose up you first and then view the camera as they pull it out.  Report says only six minutes.

 

For some reason, I think this stuff will get turned into some kind of reality game one of these days....

 

They're running out of plots...

[South Austin 53206]

My doctor hasn't mentioned this yet. I'll be 44 at my next physical. How old are you guys who've had this done?

[RPM 26601]

Golytely. Username does not check out.

I'm 57 and I've had 4 in 10 years. They found a dozen polyps and some Diverticulitis on the first one. The rest were follow-up. Nothing malignant, but I do fart a lot. 

Edited September 5, 2018 by RPM

[Texaus 389]

Haven’t had one. Im 40 and the prospect of getting one of these is terrifying. You’d have thought medical science would have progressed to the point where this procedure was only necessary after some other, less invasive, screening method indicated a need.

[RPM 26601]

There's nothing to fear unless they don't give you enough anesthesia. Then you will relive the breakfast scene from Alien in 3D. 

[Texaus 389]

Nothing to fear? Don’t they jam a tube up your ass and continue jamming it up there for quite an impressive distance? Fuck that

[El Diablo 4232]

Had a foot of my colon removed this time last year, I'm good for a while. And to think I PAID to be treated that way. 

[RPM 26601]

Only about 4 feet.

[DanRydell 799]

Nothing to fear? Don’t they jam a tube up your ass and continue jamming it up there for quite an impressive distance? Fuck that

You’re knocked the f out so the procedure itself is a non-issue. It’s the prep that blows.

[RPM 26601]

My first VA colonoscopy they skimped on the prophwhateverthefuck and I was awake and responsive for a few minutes. I'm not kidding about the Alien breakfast scene analogy. 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

Whew...ever serve time, Doc?

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

I woke up in the middle off mine somewhere along the pink tunnel.  The doctors words were something to the effect of WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AWAKE !!!!

They could have sodomized me with a bull elephant and I doubt I'd have felt it.

[Dewey 3329]

When I woke up, I was swinging, doctors and nurses were bumping into each other, tripping over equipment, yelling at me to be calm. Guess when they put me under I went to a bad place. Chaos for a minute or two til I realized where I was at.

[Hanrahan 1306]

3 hours ago, South Austin said:

My doctor hasn't mentioned this yet. I'll be 44 at my next physical. How old are you guys who've had this done?

You're in luck!  Colon cancer screening guidelines just reduced the screening age from 50 to 45.  But it's probably good to have it done.  I did - cancer.

 

 

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3873]

10 hours ago, Dewey said:

Made my lawyer watch, cant trust doctors these days and I can trust lawyers either, so I handcuffed my lawyer to myself. They found the key durning the peak inside. Lol. You know about the ice cube trick?

So, that's how it is with your Doc?

Edited September 5, 2018 by ShaggyBevo RIP

[HenryJames 67295]

[Steamboat1874 4302]

2 hours ago, DanRydell said:

 

You’re knocked the f out so the procedure itself is a non-issue. It’s the prep that blows.

 

Literally ......

 

Had one back around 1990 and I was awake at is really sucked.

Had my next one and it was about 5 years ago........much better being knocked out.

[Horn_Spanker 524]

I went straight from the procedure to a Mexican food restaurant and had the biggest burrito they had covered in jalapenos.  Fuck their take it easy recommendations, I was hungry!

I waited until I was 56, but the fears were unjustified.  The IV into my hand was the only tiny bit of pain that day.  Of course, the the night before was a shitfest.

[tfoolry 8349]

10 hours ago, Ag with kids said:

For some reason, I think this stuff will get turned into some kind of reality game one of these days....

 

They're running out of plots...

I’m scheduled for Friday morning. 

[Lazarus Bocanegra 312]

42 and I've had more than I can remember over the last 2 years (ulcerative colitis).  Back in the versed days, I made a sport of staying conscious and following along on the screen.  Once we entered the propofol era, unpossible.  

the prep sucks but not as bad as the first couple of times.  

[irishtexan 11705]

imgur

[Robin Masters 122]

I have one scheduled for November. Last one 5 years ago went fine, I woke up, started asking the doctor questions, he said I can tell you but you won't remember. No doc, i'm totally fine, I will remember. So he answers my questions.

I remember none of that, that's just what the wife told me. What I remember is waking up again and asking the wife, when is the doctor going to come in, and her busting out laughing.

I think I had the prophonol or whatever it is that killed Prince and Michael Jackson. I was my dads designated driver for his a couple of years ago. He got some better stuff because he woke up very coherent, good to go.

[SHOOTER12 8886]

I'm getting close to being due for my second one (first was at 55, all clear) and dread the hell out of it.  Despite all the "precautions" taken during the prep, I managed to ruin a $1200 recliner and a sizable section of carpet.  Golytlely my ass. (pun intended)

[AM Wood 335]

52 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

I'm getting close to being due for my second one (first was at 55, all clear) and dread the hell out of it.  Despite all the "precautions" taken during the prep, I managed to ruin a $1200 recliner and a sizable section of carpet.  Golytlely my ass. (pun intended)

appropriate name.

[Doze 1324]

I'm just glad that we are all dear friends on here and can openly talk about sending a gopro up our butts.

 

[Sbbruin 22139]

I'm waiting in the bed now. Pray for my cornhole

[RPM 26601]

[tfoolry 8349]

1 minute ago, Sbbruin said:

I'm waiting in the bed now. Pray for my cornhole

Why are Rodney Anderson & Kyler Murray standing by?

[midtown 3353]

Due to family cancer and polyp history I had my first one at 39.  Doctor said she no longer considered me high risk so Im good until 50 so a few more years before I do anal again. 

[HouTex 1921]

You’d think your ass would be sore after it’s over but somehow it isn’t. The prep sucks but the drugs make up for it. As I was waking up I had the best dreams and feelings I’ve ever had. Complete joy and contentment. I felt surrounded by friends and family and completely at peace. It seemed like a glimpse of heaven. I’m due for another one and I’m looking forward to it.

[deter 316]

First one at 55, second one at 65 a few months ago.  Clean as a whistle.  Last one in 10 years at 75, after that they don't give a crap. 

[Hugh G. Rection 156]

The best part is when you wake up there are people encouraging you to fart. That’s never happened before.

['stache 22129]

Be sure to let us know how your ass took the length.

[Armybrat 41361]

No pics necessary.

[Sbbruin 22139]

Crazy how you are awake but not really there. Sort of disconnected.  I could feel what felt like the whole fist, but it didn't hurt.  Initial pics looked clean as a whistle. More detailed report coming.  Munched a delicious sub sandwich shortly thereafter.

[El Diablo 4232]

Lady I work with said she and her husband had theirs done at the same time, 2 different docs, same facility. They were both in recovery trying to outdo one another with the poots.

[SHOOTER12 8886]

2 hours ago, deter said:

First one at 55, second one at 65 a few months ago.  Clean as a whistle.  Last one in 10 years at 75, after that they don't give a crap. 

Lol, no but you will, lots of it.😁

[Underdog 29132]

Had mine done in 2012 @51, no issues found, woke up a little at the end.  I didn''t think the prep was all that bad, starving myself was worse. Got tired of jello real fucking quick. 

[El Moco 45]

I turned 50 almost two weeks ago and my doctor has been asking me to get one for the last couple of years, but I keep resisting.  I keep telling him I need someone to buy me dinner, flowers, mood music and lighting before I allow myself to be violated.

[Underdog 29132]

PM sent

 

[DallasHorn26 589]

I'm 34 and have had 2 at this point.  They found pre-cancerous polyps when I was 29, so I'm on track to have one every 2-3 years now.

 

[Sbbruin 22139]

You might just want to have your colon removed at this point.  Colostomy bags aren't as bad as they sound.

[Hanrahan 1306]

I’ve had one. They suck.