Colonoscopy

[Hefeweizen 5443]

1 hour ago, Newdoc said:

First anal?? Sure…

Going to enjoy it again in seven years… 

[Sweetnsourpoke 174]

Going in Friday morning for the first time. You guys are recommending liquid diet tomorrow and then prep Thursday? Great thread. 

 

 

[CycleTex87 3023]

Correct.  The earlier you start a liquid diet the better for the cleanse.

[tx 3 putt 78661]

Always schedule it for early am Monday. Much easier to cleanse all Sunday. 
 

I ate a good lunch Saturday. My cleanse was 3 small packets, emptied into a bottle of water. Very easy 

[Sweetnsourpoke 174]

Thanks for the advice. The hole.....er, whole process was no big deal. Good results and don't need to go back for 10 years. 

Poop process was a piece of cake (food poisoning in India is a 100% worse) and the procedure itself was nothing. 

Only thing I'd add, did the liquid diet two days earlier. Made a slight mistake not eating enough the day before. Only one can of chicken broth at lunch and two jello packets. Got a bit shaky at 2am from hunger pains. Be sure you consume enough before midnight. 

[South Austin 53219]

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Edited February 5 by South Austin

[dcbc 14644]

29 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Don't forget to grab some Desitin for your cornhole.  Otherwise, especially if you have bidet, you are all set.  Good luck!

[South Austin 53219]

7 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Don't forget to grab some Desitin for your cornhole.  Otherwise, especially if you have bidet, you are all set.  Good luck!

I also have scented candles and an Enya playlist on Spotify ready to go.

[midtown 3354]

19 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Don't forget to grab some Desitin for your cornhole.  Otherwise, especially if you have bidet, you are all set.  Good luck!

Um.  Are you paying extra to have it rough or something? 

[South Austin 53219]

Couldn’t find the “Shit I’m Cooking Later” thread.

[South Austin 53219]

Procedure was a breeze, so let me pile on this thread by saying to everyone who is 45 and older, if you haven’t gotten your first colonoscopy screening, do it. Do it now.

They found a small polyp. I’m not worried since I have no family history (knock on wood), but I have to go back in five years instead of 10. 

Oh, and when I woke up at 5am and had to shit right away, there was still a small amount of pebbles coming out, and this was after my prior shit around 2:30am that was less than all liquid. I was like, wtf, I went super low fiber and no fruits and vegetables Saturday and Sunday and all clear liquids yesterday. I guess those were hanging around from football season or something. So as an added bonus, I got to give myself my first enema before the procedure, which was nice.

Edited February 6 by South Austin

[SurlyGator 959]

Wow, SA, you were committed to that 'clean as a whistle' mantra, weren't you?

[Native Horn 3580]

On 2/5/2024 at 6:46 AM, South Austin said:

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Well it's funny to US!

[Atxracer 798]

On 2/5/2024 at 6:46 AM, South Austin said:

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Wait until your ass turns into a pressurized firehose for the 5th time and you will see why it’s in the Lulz forum.  

[Armybrat 41373]

[nnm 37893]

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

On 2/5/2024 at 12:15 PM, South Austin said:

Couldn’t find the “Shit I’m Cooking Later” thread.

I've currently got the 4L chilling in the fridge for a big night of shitting tonight. 

Seems pretty stupid that they don't have any measurement marks on the jug. 

Not too jazzed about my chicken broth lunch, and am not looking forward to having it again for dinner. 

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

Under normal conditions, my bidet is just a straightforward part of the asshole cleaning process, blasting away detritus like it's designed to do. 

But today, its use is actually just a precursor to shitting again. 

Edited April 18 by Prepuce of Doom

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

On 2/8/2024 at 6:00 PM, Atxracer said:

Wait until your ass turns into a pressurized firehose for the 5th time and you will see why it’s in the Lulz forum.  

This is definitely the correct forum. 

[nnm 37893]

16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I've currently got the 4L chilling in the fridge for a big night of shitting tonight. 

Seems pretty stupid that they don't have any measurement marks on the jug. 

Not too jazzed about my chicken broth lunch, and am not looking forward to having it again for dinner. 

 

If you had bottled the blast, you could’ve had it again for lunch after the procedure. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

Dear lord, this is not my normal morning routine! 

A sustained 30 second gurgleshitfart is certainly one way to start the day! 

Edited April 19 by Prepuce of Doom
Made a noise only Chet and Cthulhu have ever heard before.

[smuggs 9396]

6 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Dear lord, this is not my normal morning routine! 

A sustained 30 second gurgleshitfart is certainly one way to start the day! 

When is your procedure? 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

14 minutes ago, smuggs said:

When is your procedure? 

3pm. Seems like very poor planning on my part. 

[smuggs 9396]

7 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

3pm. Seems like very poor planning on my part. 

Ouch. Yeah, I select the early AM probing so that afterwards I can roll up into the Waffle House with a Takeru Kobayashi mindset.

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

I'm on the five year plan - had one 7mm polyp removed, test results pending. Scored a perfect 9 on the Boston Bowel Preparation Scale. 

Found the propofol underwhelming - one brief instant of intrigue and excitement before going to sleep, no dreams, and nothing much to report upon waking. Didn't feel much different than I do when I'm baked and fall asleep watching TV in the basement and then wake up and have to groggily make my way upstairs to bed, and even that was fairly fleeting. 

In addition to scheduling the next one for earlier in the day to minimize the time fasting, I'll also make sure to stop using my bidet and just "pat dry" earlier in the process. I think I caused myself a little undue tenderness... 

As I was walking out, the nurse asked if I had everything I came with. I replied, "Not quite everything!" which confused her until I held my index finger and thumb about 7mm apart, and then she got a real laugh. 

[Scheiss Meister 8466]

11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I'm on the five year plan - had one 7mm polyp removed, test results pending. Scored a perfect 9 on the Boston Bowel Preparation Scale. 

Found the propofol underwhelming - one brief instant of intrigue and excitement before going to sleep, no dreams, and nothing much to report upon waking. Didn't feel much different than I do when I'm baked and fall asleep watching TV in the basement and then wake up and have to groggily make my way upstairs to bed, and even that was fairly fleeting. 

In addition to scheduling the next one for earlier in the day to minimize the time fasting, I'll also make sure to stop using my bidet and just "pat dry" earlier in the process. I think I caused myself a little undue tenderness... 

As I was walking out, the nurse asked if I had everything I came with. I replied, "Not quite everything!" which confused her until I held my index finger and thumb about 7mm apart, and then she got a real laugh. 

What was Doomlet's take on your preparations?

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

2 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

What was Doomlet's take on your preparations?

I didn't want to deal with him getting involved in the spectacle, so I kept him as ignorant as possible - did all my shitting in my basement shittorium. 

But I definitely showed him the photos from up my butt. 

Currently trying to figure out which contact in my phone is worthy of having their picture changed to that of my rectum. 

[Newdoc 3511]

22 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

But I definitely showed him the photos from up my butt. 

Soon to be copied and shown to classmates...

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

24 minutes ago, Newdoc said:

Soon to be copied and shown to classmates...

Probably already uploaded to the Google doc that he shares with his pals (they call themselves "The Hyenas") on their school Chromebooks like it's a text thread... 

Edited April 20 by Prepuce of Doom

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

It just occurred to me that prior to a couple of weeks ago, the contents of my bowels basically amounted to a semi-connected chain of everything I had ever eaten in my life to that point, but now I'm on a new streak, and if past results are any indication, my streak will never again exceed five years. 

[Brisketexan 106871]

It just occurred to me that prior to a couple of weeks ago, the contents of my bowels basically amounted to a semi-connected chain of everything I had ever eaten in my life to that point, but now I'm on a new streak, and if past results are any indication, my streak will never again exceed five years. 

This is the kind of thinking we’d expect from Doomlet. Apple, tree, and all that.

[msucolt45 4227]

Going in tomorrow morning. First one at the age of 54. Son, who is an RN, has been dictating to get it done for the last 2-3 years!

Started the concucture around 6:00, so I’ll be in the “office” most of the evening, I assume. Have to wake up around midnight for the 2nd course.

Been on a liquid diet all day. Just water and Gatorade.

Hook’em!!!

[HiggyBaby 2617]

I get to do the butt stuff next week, first one. Sadly it’s the midday appt and not the morning one.  Great info on this thread. My particular doctor says no alcohol five days out but most things I read on the interwebs say two days. What says Surly? I can probably do three but five? 
 

Edited May 8 by HiggyBaby

[msucolt45 4227]

My procedure went smoother/easier than expected. Yes, thanks to this forum, I knew mostly what to expect.

My instructions were no alcohol the day prior. I did sneak in two light beers prior to drinking my concoction yesterday evening. I did it just for the anxiety of what was about to occur. The worst part was the 2nd dose of concoction at midnight.

I did follow the strict liquid diet of only having coffee AM(black w/ sweetner), water, and yellow Gatorade. No harm no foul.

Hook’em!!!

[Horn_Spanker 524]

Don't trust Cologuard!

Cologuard results showed a problem.  $1,800 later the surgeon said "I found nothing, must have been a false positive?"  

[blacklab 12062]

Yeah, it's not very accurate.

Going in tomorrow morning.

Only had some sprite today, trying to finish phase one of this nasty drink right now. 

[blacklab 12062]

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

[Rimbo 26978]

1 hour ago, blacklab said:

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

I've got colon cancer in my history (took my maternal grandfather with it, f cancer) so it was never in doubt.

[Ignatius 4132]

1 hour ago, blacklab said:

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

It’s really not; the key to me is to schedule the procedure for about 10AM. Setting your alarm to get up early and do that last round on a completely empty stomach is fucking rough. My old man had colon cancer come and go so I’m on a 3-year rotation…

[Jerry Callo 8958]

16 hours ago, blacklab said:

weird taste in mouth from shot

Is that what they told ya?  Glad you got the clean bill of health.

[HiggyBaby 2617]

Here we go boys. Round one now. Round two in 12 hours. Procedure’s in 18 hours…

[Ignatius 4132]

By this point you should be shitting nothing but yellow water…

[HiggyBaby 2617]

Can confirm 

[HiggyBaby 2617]

One polyp. No family history but he wants me Back in 3 years 🤙
as others said, the prep blows, but it’s manageable. Procedure was easy Peezy.

Edited May 15 by HiggyBaby

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

8 hours ago, HiggyBaby said:

One polyp. No family history but he wants me Back in 3 years 🤙
as others said, the prep blows, but it’s manageable. Procedure was easy Peezy.

Where the fuck did the "prepare your anus" rep go?! 

[nnm 37893]

9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Where the fuck did the "prepare your anus" rep go?! 

I was wondering the same thing. 
What is really needed for a number of posts is a “WTF” reaction. @blacklab

[Aqua Buddha 14802]

On 5/8/2024 at 1:49 PM, Horn_Spanker said:

Don't trust Cologuard!

Cologuard results showed a problem.  $1,800 later the surgeon said "I found nothing, must have been a false positive?"  

They even say that in the commercials.  How it's even a thing is a mystery to me.  My GI doc said they completely ignore anything it says.

Kate Couric pitching for them particularly galls me considering her husbands diet of colon cancer.

[Native Horn 3580]

20 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

They even say that in the commercials.  How it's even a thing is a mystery to me.  My GI doc said they completely ignore anything it says.

Kate Couric pitching for them particularly galls me considering her husbands diet of colon cancer.

How did he prepare this?  Air fryer? Sautee?

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

32 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

How did he prepare this?  Air fryer? Sautee?

You've never had stewed buttwad?! 

[Underdog 29159]

On 5/17/2024 at 9:06 AM, Native Horn said:

How did he prepare this?  Air fryer? Sautee?

You start with a roux…