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Colonoscopy

Sbbruin

By Sbbruin
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Sweetnsourpoke

Sweetnsourpoke 151

Posted
Posted

Thanks for the advice. The hole.....er, whole process was no big deal. Good results and don't need to go back for 10 years. 

Poop process was a piece of cake (food poisoning in India is a 100% worse) and the procedure itself was nothing. 

Only thing I'd add, did the liquid diet two days earlier. Made a slight mistake not eating enough the day before. Only one can of chicken broth at lunch and two jello packets. Got a bit shaky at 2am from hunger pains. Be sure you consume enough before midnight. 

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South Austin

South Austin 51793

Posted
Posted (edited)

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Edited by South Austin
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dcbc

dcbc 14333

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Don't forget to grab some Desitin for your cornhole.  Otherwise, especially if you have bidet, you are all set.  Good luck!

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midtown

midtown 3339

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Don't forget to grab some Desitin for your cornhole.  Otherwise, especially if you have bidet, you are all set.  Good luck!

Um.  Are you paying extra to have it rough or something? 

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South Austin

South Austin 51793

Posted
Posted (edited)

Procedure was a breeze, so let me pile on this thread by saying to everyone who is 45 and older, if you haven’t gotten your first colonoscopy screening, do it. Do it now.

They found a small polyp. I’m not worried since I have no family history (knock on wood), but I have to go back in five years instead of 10. 

Oh, and when I woke up at 5am and had to shit right away, there was still a small amount of pebbles coming out, and this was after my prior shit around 2:30am that was less than all liquid. I was like, wtf, I went super low fiber and no fruits and vegetables Saturday and Sunday and all clear liquids yesterday. I guess those were hanging around from football season or something. So as an added bonus, I got to give myself my first enema before the procedure, which was nice.

Edited by South Austin
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Native Horn

Native Horn 3465

Posted
Posted
On 2/5/2024 at 6:46 AM, South Austin said:

I’m 49, and am getting my first one on Tuesday morning.  I have no colorectal cancer in my family, so this is just SOP per my primary care physician’s orders. Been going ultra low fiber the last two days and started the liquid diet this morning. 

Doctor prescribed GaviLyte. Fiancé was all “wtf, they only gave me a couple pills, you should’ve asked for that.” I didn’t know it was ala carte. (Side note: She had thee colonoscopies last year. One was her first, during which they found a polyp large enough that the doc couldn’t take it out then, so he had to schedule a second procedure at a hospital. And then a third for a follow up, where they found two more small ones that were easily removed and benign. She has family history, so she gets another one in three years.)

Leaving work early today, going to take the first half around 2pm, and the second around 8pm.  Looking forward to a burger on Tuesday evening.

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Well it's funny to US!

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Atxracer

Atxracer 797

Posted
Posted
On 2/5/2024 at 6:46 AM, South Austin said:

Weird this is on the Lulz forum, but I’ve come to learn there’s little rhyme or reason on Surly.

Wait until your ass turns into a pressurized firehose for the 5th time and you will see why it’s in the Lulz forum.  

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

Posted
Posted
On 2/5/2024 at 12:15 PM, South Austin said:

Couldn’t find the “Shit I’m Cooking Later” thread.

IMG_8472.jpeg

I've currently got the 4L chilling in the fridge for a big night of shitting tonight. 

Seems pretty stupid that they don't have any measurement marks on the jug. 

Not too jazzed about my chicken broth lunch, and am not looking forward to having it again for dinner. 

 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

Posted
Posted (edited)

Under normal conditions, my bidet is just a straightforward part of the asshole cleaning process, blasting away detritus like it's designed to do. 

But today, its use is actually just a precursor to shitting again. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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nnm

nnm 35722

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I've currently got the 4L chilling in the fridge for a big night of shitting tonight. 

Seems pretty stupid that they don't have any measurement marks on the jug. 

Not too jazzed about my chicken broth lunch, and am not looking forward to having it again for dinner. 

 

If you had bottled the blast, you could’ve had it again for lunch after the procedure. 

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smuggs

smuggs 9313

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Dear lord, this is not my normal morning routine! 

A sustained 30 second gurgleshitfart is certainly one way to start the day! 

RDT_20240419_0729184943879631283153126.jpg.ec81c8cb816d8b651f8b5dd06c6337e2.jpg

When is your procedure? 

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smuggs

smuggs 9313

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

3pm. Seems like very poor planning on my part. 

Ouch. Yeah, I select the early AM probing so that afterwards I can roll up into the Waffle House with a Takeru Kobayashi mindset.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

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Posted

I'm on the five year plan - had one 7mm polyp removed, test results pending. Scored a perfect 9 on the Boston Bowel Preparation Scale. 

Found the propofol underwhelming - one brief instant of intrigue and excitement before going to sleep, no dreams, and nothing much to report upon waking. Didn't feel much different than I do when I'm baked and fall asleep watching TV in the basement and then wake up and have to groggily make my way upstairs to bed, and even that was fairly fleeting. 

In addition to scheduling the next one for earlier in the day to minimize the time fasting, I'll also make sure to stop using my bidet and just "pat dry" earlier in the process. I think I caused myself a little undue tenderness... 

As I was walking out, the nurse asked if I had everything I came with. I replied, "Not quite everything!" which confused her until I held my index finger and thumb about 7mm apart, and then she got a real laugh. 

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8322

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Posted
11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I'm on the five year plan - had one 7mm polyp removed, test results pending. Scored a perfect 9 on the Boston Bowel Preparation Scale. 

Found the propofol underwhelming - one brief instant of intrigue and excitement before going to sleep, no dreams, and nothing much to report upon waking. Didn't feel much different than I do when I'm baked and fall asleep watching TV in the basement and then wake up and have to groggily make my way upstairs to bed, and even that was fairly fleeting. 

In addition to scheduling the next one for earlier in the day to minimize the time fasting, I'll also make sure to stop using my bidet and just "pat dry" earlier in the process. I think I caused myself a little undue tenderness... 

As I was walking out, the nurse asked if I had everything I came with. I replied, "Not quite everything!" which confused her until I held my index finger and thumb about 7mm apart, and then she got a real laugh. 

What was Doomlet's take on your preparations?

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

What was Doomlet's take on your preparations?

I didn't want to deal with him getting involved in the spectacle, so I kept him as ignorant as possible - did all my shitting in my basement shittorium. 

But I definitely showed him the photos from up my butt. 

Currently trying to figure out which contact in my phone is worthy of having their picture changed to that of my rectum. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

Posted
Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, Newdoc said:

Soon to be copied and shown to classmates...

Probably already uploaded to the Google doc that he shares with his pals (they call themselves "The Hyenas") on their school Chromebooks like it's a text thread... 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20922

Posted
Posted

It just occurred to me that prior to a couple of weeks ago, the contents of my bowels basically amounted to a semi-connected chain of everything I had ever eaten in my life to that point, but now I'm on a new streak, and if past results are any indication, my streak will never again exceed five years. 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 103869

Posted
Posted
It just occurred to me that prior to a couple of weeks ago, the contents of my bowels basically amounted to a semi-connected chain of everything I had ever eaten in my life to that point, but now I'm on a new streak, and if past results are any indication, my streak will never again exceed five years. 

This is the kind of thinking we’d expect from Doomlet. Apple, tree, and all that.
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msucolt45

msucolt45 3978

Posted
Posted

Going in tomorrow morning. First one at the age of 54. Son, who is an RN, has been dictating to get it done for the last 2-3 years!

Started the concucture around 6:00, so I’ll be in the “office” most of the evening, I assume. Have to wake up around midnight for the 2nd course.

Been on a liquid diet all day. Just water and Gatorade.

Hook’em!!!

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HiggyBaby

HiggyBaby 2498

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Posted (edited)

I get to do the butt stuff next week, first one. Sadly it’s the midday appt and not the morning one.  Great info on this thread. My particular doctor says no alcohol five days out but most things I read on the interwebs say two days. What says Surly? I can probably do three but five? 
 

image.gif.57da7d558a819c243a6bf7072ac50cdd.gif

Edited by HiggyBaby
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msucolt45

msucolt45 3978

Posted
Posted

My procedure went smoother/easier than expected. Yes, thanks to this forum, I knew mostly what to expect.

My instructions were no alcohol the day prior. I did sneak in two light beers prior to drinking my concoction yesterday evening. I did it just for the anxiety of what was about to occur. The worst part was the 2nd dose of concoction at midnight.

I did follow the strict liquid diet of only having coffee AM(black w/ sweetner), water, and yellow Gatorade. No harm no foul.

Hook’em!!!

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blacklab

blacklab 11827

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Posted

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25530

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Posted
1 hour ago, blacklab said:

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

I've got colon cancer in my history (took my maternal grandfather with it, f cancer) so it was never in doubt.

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Ignatius

Ignatius 3979

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Posted
1 hour ago, blacklab said:

Worst part of the whole thing for me was drinking that nasty drink at 5pm and 2am.

Second worst was spending the next hour or so on the shitter after drinking said drink.

This morning was easy. put on gown, get an IV, rolled into other room, turn on my side, shot into IV drip, weird taste in mouth from shot, wake up in original room stoned as hell. Completely clean, no polyps of any kind, come back in 10 years.

Went to maudie's and ate chips and queso, two pete's tacos and sausage migas with a mexican coke. May have been the most enjoyable meal of my life. 

If you're over 45 and haven't had it done you need to go do it. It's really not that bad of a procedure.

It’s really not; the key to me is to schedule the procedure for about 10AM. Setting your alarm to get up early and do that last round on a completely empty stomach is fucking rough. My old man had colon cancer come and go so I’m on a 3-year rotation…

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nnm

nnm 35722

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Where the fuck did the "prepare your anus" rep go?! 

I was wondering the same thing. 
What is really needed for a number of posts is a “WTF” reaction. @blacklab

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14397

Posted
Posted
On 5/8/2024 at 1:49 PM, Horn_Spanker said:

Don't trust Cologuard!

Cologuard results showed a problem.  $1,800 later the surgeon said "I found nothing, must have been a false positive?"  

They even say that in the commercials.  How it's even a thing is a mystery to me.  My GI doc said they completely ignore anything it says.

Kate Couric pitching for them particularly galls me considering her husbands diet of colon cancer.

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Native Horn

Native Horn 3465

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Posted
20 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

They even say that in the commercials.  How it's even a thing is a mystery to me.  My GI doc said they completely ignore anything it says.

Kate Couric pitching for them particularly galls me considering her husbands diet of colon cancer.

How did he prepare this?  Air fryer? Sautee?

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