do you ever yearn?

[Guest Lobo]

Adult Contemporary?  

[Biff Tannen 45691]

Flight to Cleveland?

[futureman 22485]

anyway, so I was coming along here and I felt like a piece of cake, you know?  but then I thought it’s morning I should really have a muffin, I like those chocolate chip ones.  then I figured well they’re really both cake.  so I, uh, sat on that bench for a little while, twenty minutes, or an hour, and then I figured check and see what you were up to.

[Biff Tannen 45691]

JFK...Honolulu!

[Llano Estacado 1257]

So, he says, “squeeze your breasts together'', and I say, “I thought this was an ad for shoes''

[Biff Tannen 45691]

More everything!

[pokeNbeans 203]

But, the very idea. you had me lying in urine!!

[4th&Five 41558]

Just start scratching, tell him you have the crabs. 

[Biff Tannen 45691]

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Krueger, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you has a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Kruger: Well George, I gotta be honest, I could go either way on you…but what the hell, we need someone.
George: You won’t regret this Sir!
Kruger: I don’t care.

[Junior Miller 1502]

555-FILK

[Guest Lobo]

646?  Is that new or something?  

No, no...it's not new...it's just different 

[Biff Tannen 45691]

Blimey!

[futureman 22485]

On 5/3/2019 at 5:31 PM, Lobo said:

646?  Is that new or something?  

No, no...it's not new...it's just different 

it’s the same as 212.  they just multiplied it by three, then added one to the middle number.  it’s the same. 

[Biff Tannen 45691]

I remember your 'V.' It was like a perfect triangle.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Jerry! Hello!

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

8 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:

Jerry! Hello!

Hello Uncle Leo.

[Junior Miller 1502]

I can't watch this clip without cracking up. The whole gunshots sound effect then the scream gets me every time. 

 

Edited May 6, 2019 by Junior Miller

[Guest Lobo]

8 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

Jerry! Hello!

I can never remember the title, nor find it online.  The Uncle Leo actor, Len Lesser, has one of his first acting credits ever back in the 50's/60's in some hokey Manhattan rom-com with a few musical numbers.  Anyway, his first scene is at a street corner near Times Square, and he engages the female lead and says in his trademark style "Hello"...and she replies in kind and they start greeting other pedestrians.  It was sort of the script's way of suggesting if you are more open with other people, good things will happen, yadayadayada.  Anyway, it was Len's breakout role.  30 years later, he parlays that into a niche recurring character on the best show in TV>  

I wanna say it was with Dean Martin in "Bells are Ringing"  

Listen to the way Charlie bessemer says hello.  Found it.  (george voice): Didn't really take that long either...

Edited May 7, 2019 by Lobo

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."

[PencilPusher 454]

Dr Cosmo Kramer.....Proctology!

[Kel Varnsen 8539]

You want a divorce!? You got one!

[4th&Five 41558]

RIP Jim Fowler. 

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Squirrel? Well, we have no deal with them!

[Wiler77 1566]

On 5/6/2019 at 2:24 PM, Junior Miller said:

I can't watch this clip without cracking up. The whole gunshots sound effect then the scream gets me every time. 

 

"Why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie you selected"

I quote this quite often.  The sales people in our company have a hard time selling anything unless it's much cheaper than our competition.  It's a real pain in the ass.  The joke on the business side is "Why don't you just TELL me the price you can sell this for".

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

RIP Jim Fowler. 

 I practically raised his kids.

 

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

No, you idiot, hawks eat squirrels!

[Biff Tannen 45691]

More heavy gravy?

[Bash Riprock 1695]

Hey, I'm sorry, you had your buffer zone for many years. It's my turn to live baby!

[Guest Lobo]

Lately, I’ve been peeling the label off my generic wax beans.  I can barely tell the difference.  

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

You know, sometimes I get the feeling George isn't being completely honest with me.

[Biff Tannen 45691]

How do we know the dog food is any good?  Who tastes it?

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Just now, Biff Tannen said:

How do we know the dog food is any good?  Who tastes it?

Dog food tasters.

 

https://recipes.howstuffworks.com/food-facts/food-careers/food-taster3.htm

 

[Guest Lobo]

Only to tell me to lay off the sweets...

[Biff Tannen 45691]

That's just what this city needs: more slow moving wicker vehicles.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

He's proposing a plan where everyone in the city should wear name tags.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

[Biff Tannen 45691]

Jerry: No, no, no, it's... "She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her."

George: That's it. That's the line... (squirts mustard into Jerry's coffee and stirs it) ...that destroyed my life.

[Bash Riprock 1695]

That sex will melt your face.

[Bash Riprock 1695]

J: What happened? Did you pass the stone?

K: No, I tried to do a reverse hecht off my couch and I didn't make it.

 

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Kramer and I saw it last night. Spock dies, they wrap him up in a towel, and they shoot him out the bowel of the ship in that big sunglasses case.

-or-

I know Jerry will tell you that Wrath of Khan is the better picture.

[Biff Tannen 45691]

And now?

Not.

[WhatTheBuck 28788]

13 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Poor Lily. 

[Junior Miller 1502]

"In my country they speak of a man that is so virile, so potent, that to spend the night with such a man is to enter a world of sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as "The Comedian". 

"You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld... But you are no Comedian."

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Well, you know, I've been lying about my income for a few years; I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.

[Guest Lobo]

Or we're going all the way.......to the Hamptons.  

[Biff Tannen 45691]

Snoopy and Prickly Pete!

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

13 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Or we're going all the way.......to the Hamptons.  

My mother loves Hampton tomatoes. She's nuts for Hampton tomatoes.